Super bastard awesome cabbage
You'll need:
A couple of savoy cabbages
2-3 onions
About as much garlic as you can lay your hands on
Vegetable/sunflower oil
Bacon
Salt, pepper etc.

Finely chop your garlic and onions and put them in a large wok, along with your salt, pepper and a bit of oil. Chop the bacon into little bits and add that, let it cook until it all smells delicious. Then thinly slice the savoy cabbage - about a quarter of a cabbage per person eating - and add that to the wok. Keep stir-frying until the edges of the cabbage are just slightly burnt.

Serve with a roast or anything you fancy it with, really. When I started cooking this at home me and the missus were getting through two or three cabbages a week, it's that delicious.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 10:18, 32 replies)

Reminds me of a recipe I use for spinach,
cooked with onions, chick-peas and (if memory serves) cumin.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 10:25, closed)

I'm intrigued

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 12:32, closed)

I'm pretty sure it's no more complex than chucking it in a pan and moving it about
until the leaves wilt, but I haven't done it for a while (general rule: if a five year old won't eat it, I don't get to cook it).

Brussels fried with bacon and chestnuts, are also good.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:23, closed)

Oh yes, I've done sprouts that way
Utterly delicious
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:51, closed)

that sounds great

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 15:02, closed)

Rough recipe for "Arabian"* Spinach
Fry sliced onion in a wok (in a little oil) until softened; add crushed garlic and whole cumin, fry a little longer; chuck in the spinach, and cook until it fits into the pan; throw in a (drained) can of chickpeas and plenty of butter; season and simmer.

Will do as a main, if your that sort of vegetarian, and is also a very nice side.


*It's from an old cookbook.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 21:06, closed)

intrigued a fucking prick
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 22:52, closed)

Super bastard awesome
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 10:26, closed)

Sounds yummy.
Reminds me of the first time I saw sauerkraut with bacon bits -- cabbage+bacon=win as far as I'm concerned.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 10:39, closed)

I used to live with a German
and stereotypically, we'd have sauerkraut, potatoes and pork about once a week. Marvellous stuff.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 13:00, closed)

if I could lay my hands on a whole string of garlic
this would be ruined right?

[/twat mode]
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 11:01, closed)

What's the largest quantity of garlic you've ever shoved up your arse?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 11:12, closed)

sorry zero, nadda zitch
I've never shoved anything up my arse not even a 80's cartoon toy

next week on QOTW knitting patterns or someshit
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 11:51, closed)

I've got about thirty heads of garlic in the garden.
I question his qualifications as a recipe writer.

And as a functioning human adult.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 11:38, closed)

lets cook and force feed emvee
2 MASSIVE savoy cabbages
3 onions
30 heads of garlic
2 pints of oil
1 rasher of Bacon

to teach him a valuable lesson about quantity ;)
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 12:50, closed)

We could.
But I think I prefer keeping him as an emotional cripple with playschool culinary skills and a ringofire level of internet neediness.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 14:07, closed)

Well I've got it growing in the garden
but I assume the majority of b3tans won't have. A full bulb's worth of cloves would probably suffice. Maybe two. I like garlic.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 12:57, closed)

Hahaha. Oh you are sweet.
If you were actually growing garlic rather than copying people you're pretending to ignore them you'd know that you won't harvest it for another few weeks this year owing to the weather and it will then need another month or so to cure. I hate people who abuse the word spastic but you really are a fucking spastic.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 14:11, closed)

Gonna have to try this
Can it be dry fried without the oil just using bacon juices?
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 12:15, closed)

ooooh look at you being all healthy
;o)
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 12:25, closed)

I'm on a diet so i have to look at the healthy option.
Will have to look at the healthy option
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 12:35, closed)

no bacon
is the healthy option

sadly

but no bacon is boring :(
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 12:44, closed)

No bacon ???
I'm on a diet not dead.
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 15:00, closed)

Of you've reached the level of self-hatred and paranoia where you're worrying about a splash of oil for a vegetable dish then your physical health is the least of your worries.
Commit suicide or seek psychiatric help.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 14:19, closed)

nah i don't hate myself
I just want to lose weight and will avoid using oil when cooking whenever i can.
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 15:02, closed)

I think so - I only use a very little anyway
Just be careful that your bacon doesn't all get stuck to the pan, basically
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 12:32, closed)

Three cabbages a week?!
Bloody hell, your chambers must have been in a perpetual miasma of guff gas.
( Pig Bodine., Fri 28 Jun 2013, 16:05, closed)

Which might go some way to explaining the faces on his grotmodels.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 16:48, closed)

Terrible bullying of Captain Twats'R'Us.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 17:46, closed)

This is a fucking joke, right?
Your best food recommendation is some fucking cabbage?

Oh man - wait til you see my recipe for 'toast' - it's gonna blow your mind!!!!

PS I'm suggesting that you are a massive fucking idiot, here.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 17:59, closed)

Remarkably this might be marginally less feeble than his stuffing 'recipe'.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 18:08, closed)

Spellcasting:
S, P, A, S, T, I, C.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Jun 2013, 21:02, closed)