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This is a question Food sabotage

Some arse at work commands that you make them tea. How do you get revenge? You gob in it, of course...

How have you creatively sabotaged other people's food to get you own back? Just how petty were your reasons for doing it? Did they swallow?

(, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:31)
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Only my opinion, but
Was this the most boring QOTW ever?
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 14:47, 61 replies)
That was the most boring QOTW answer ever though.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 14:47, closed)
It wasn't really an answer......
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 14:49, closed)
If you post on the Question Of The Week, surely it's answer?
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 14:50, closed)
we should have

Proposition of the week?

Does this trask spirit look cloudy to you?
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 14:51, closed)
no, that award goes to
m, ...m...mmmm...mmmm..mmmiiiixxttappes...

jeeze i cant even say it properly...
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 14:50, closed)
im still trying to forget about that.
What a horrible week.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:27, closed)
Whinge Moan Whinge Moan Etc
"I don't have a decent story so the QOTW must be rubbish."

No-one makes you read the site you know.

Also, what Kaol said.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 14:52, closed)
I have to confess
I had a moan about the question on the front page.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 14:53, closed)
That's because you're
A whiny little bitch.

(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 14:58, closed)
Repent ye, Al!

And yea, maybe next week no-one will moan about the question and all shall be happy in the valley of B3ta!

I heal thee!
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 14:59, closed)

*falls backwards into the arms of the congregation*

*is healed*
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:01, closed)
See me later for extra curricular 'healing'.

And bring a friend.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:04, closed)
Quite possibly
they are all pretty much the same story: "They pissed me off so I spat/jizzed/urinated in their food/drink and they ate/drank it"
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 14:59, closed)
I wrote that
in my first moan this week too!
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:00, closed)
It's a valid complaint
However, I am at a loss to suggest a decent QOTW. How about "When did you last run out of milk? Did you go down the shops or drink it without?"
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:03, closed)
I fed chopped up mouse omelette to someone.

And I've spat in my manager's coffee every day for two weeks.

But I didn't need to post about that.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:02, closed)
Poor mousey.

(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:05, closed)
Not quite like that...
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:06, closed)
Living with other people was the worst part of uni for me. I never had a major falling out but by the end of uni I was glad to be leaving because of my housemates.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:11, closed)
Even though I say it myself
A decent QOTW answer is all about how you tell it.

If I'd've put "I ived with this cunt and he kept steeling my food. So I put ded micse in his food. LOL!!", it's the same story, but shite.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:15, closed)
It wasn't the best...

But I agree with Dan, Dan...

The fucking-mix-fucking-tapes one was the lowest point ever.

At least this week I've managed to get my hat-trick of true story, made up story and pun in.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:02, closed)
Congrats but...
Now you have to aim for the mythical Golden Boot award, where all the three answers make it on to the best page when the question closes...
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:08, closed)

I don't mean to brag...ahem...but I've done that before...a couple of times in fact.

Oh alright then, I do mean to brag

yay! etc
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:13, closed)
Have to up the bar then. All three in the top 5? :)
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:14, closed)
Fuck that...
One of 'em has gotta win!
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:19, closed)

If I ever got that I would go to the Cardinal (The b3ta bash pub in London where even as we speak The Loon, BGB and many of the B3ta Royal Family are congregating)and bare my arse in the front window.

Edit: @Kaol - I've won before too...

*head continues to swell*
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:20, closed)
So have I
DIY Disasters, thank-you-very-much :p
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:22, closed)
You're not the only
people who have won you know.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:25, closed)
I know...
*hands Al and DiT "Winners Club" cigars*
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:26, closed)
I've won one too!

EDIT: *lights up* I say, thanks old chum!
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:26, closed)
Jolly good!
*swirls brandy*
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:30, closed)
I'd never have guessed Kaol...

It's not like you mention it...often :p

Edit: Oi! - Where's my bloody cigar?
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:28, closed)
*points at Al's crotch*
Smoke it.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:32, closed)
*leans towards Al*

"Hold on a minute - THAT'S NOT A CIGAR!"

*Still tries to light it*
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:36, closed)
It's a space-station.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:39, closed)
Oh dear god
my "space station" is on fire.

*runs around slapping crotch*

Aaaaagh, that hurts so much

*dips penis in ice water*

Oh god, that not ice water!
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:44, closed)
You don't want
that cigar pooflake.

Trust me.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:32, closed)
Mixtapes was a low
....but I stand by my earlier 'oh for heaven's sake stop whinging' post.

It's a bit of a 'Why Don't You' thing (showing my age here). I was always mystified by that show - talk about shoot yourself in the foot in the ratings war: how is a TV show going to be a success when the first thing it does is tell you to turn off your TV? EH???

It also made a good social barometer - the 'Chelsea gang' were always out racing gold-plated go-karts - whilst the 'Belfast gang' were having fun with half a brick and a piece of string....
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:09, closed)
That's alll very well, but did you manage to achieve the QOTW gold standard..
..by mentioning your own sexual inadequacy and crippling undiagnosed autistic spectrum disorder?

You'd be looking at 10/10 QOTW points then.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:14, closed)
Fuckin' hell...
You and your arse-burgers.

If it annoys you so much, just fuck off.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:17, closed)
It's alright Kaol,
he just wants to highlight his own sexual inadequacy and crippling undiagnosed autistic spectrum disorder.

It's like a cry for help.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:20, closed)
Like closeted homosexuals being the first to scream "OMFG!!!1!! U R SO GAY! LOLZ!!!"

I see.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:23, closed)
I don't have to mention my sexual inadequacy...

to my lasting regret, it is already the stuff of legend.

I'm know as 'half-a-push Charlie' round our way
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:23, closed)
Hello Amorous Badger
Do you have any other devastatingly witty comments to make, or is this the only one?

I would be interested to know.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:28, closed)
He's like one of those
Crappy fireworks.

Fire it up, it makes an annoying screaming noise, nothing great to look at, then it's spent.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:29, closed)
Funnily enough.
That describes my sexual inadequacy almost perfectly.

It's the screaming that puts them off the most.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:32, closed)
That got a proper laugh.
And a funny look from my cow-orker.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:34, closed)

do you 'ork' a cow?

you zoologists have all the fun!
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:42, closed)
I'd show you
But your non-zoologist brain wouldn't cope :p
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:44, closed)
Thanks for sparing me...

my brain struggles to cope with most things lately, so something that sounds as strenuous as cow orking might cause me to burst a blood vessel or two...

(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:47, closed)
Sign of old age :p
As long as you're still functional for your gig!

(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:52, closed)
I find it interesting, though.
I mean, it seems to think that it is incredibly clever and superior to everything else, yet it only ever trots out the same line over and over and over again.

I suspect that it thinks it's funny, or that it is performing some kind of social satire. Sadly, it doesn't seem to have the capacity to adequately carry out either task.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:33, closed)
People that make the same joke all the time are so lame
*gets handbag*

*goes Oooooooo*

*fucks goat*

*drinks tea*

Of course when I say tea, I mean septic vaginal discharges

*can't think of other jokes that he makes all teh time*

*remembers madeline mcann*

*makes poor quality reference to maddie*

*makes bad pun too*

*makes up story about wanking with one true part*
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:37, closed)
You have a point there.

Maybe, after all, The Amorous Badger is the saviour of QOTW?
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:39, closed)
Now steady on
He's a cunt plain and simple. And our jokes are funny.

Well, mine are.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:40, closed)
Er... I mean, yeah. You're great :)
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:48, closed)
Yeah I am
and if you didn't have arse-burgers and screaming sexual inadequacies you would know it too.

Fuck, it must be contagious.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:50, closed)
No matter how banal...
There always seems to be the odd great story in every QOTW.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:08, closed)
I've taken up.
Sabotaging food for fun, as I'd never done it before.

My stories related to me sneezing on my dinner and some other crap that wasn't very interesting, but not malicious, either.

I'm off to piss in someone's tea now.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:10, closed)
I haven't counted, but did a quick think through, and guess at this being the 250th QOTW on B3ta (which ironically would deserve an extra-special QOTW). I don't know about you, but I think I would have run out of remotely interesting things to ask some time ago..

EDIT: Using Word Line Count, it's the 234th. Which is a nice clean number. Not filthy like 17. Gah.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:20, closed)
QOTW is Ball Bags
The last news letter was a bit stale and the last few QOTW's have been YAWN..... boring !
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:50, closed)

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