Generation Slacker
I was cutting the grass on Saturday. I felt like my dad, just minus a shed/tools/and any form of knowledge.
Plus I was thinking my dad was always working around the house on his days off, like you could get our generation to do anything, without either months of pre-planning and putting it off due to the smallest excuse (looks like rain) or doing it, and then going on and on about it.
(Zealize Zealize, Sun 3 May 2009, 23:29, Reply)

Garage
yay! Pop!

i love the smell of garages... petrol..diesel...oil... all of it!!!

i blame my mechanic dad

am a girl so most of my mates think i am odd.

tis just a great smell..........

no apologies..... im weird!
(gbird is still waiting for her smoked kippers...., Sun 3 May 2009, 21:59, 5 replies)

I've always said that me and my brother
are like two different halves of my Dad. On the other hand I suppose that's true for most amoebas.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sun 3 May 2009, 21:23, 3 replies)

Useful
My dad had in his shed a box full of "useful" stuff that never got used.
I unfortunately don't have room for a shed.
But I have in our kichen, two useful cupboards and two useful drawers.
Amazingly they seem to have the exact same rusty nails, bits of wood and strange fixings from unknown things that my dad had.
I even have his old hand-drill.
(Captain Spacker I lick windows, Sun 3 May 2009, 21:18, 1 reply)

Lawn mower
I opted for a petrol one Hayter Hunter with a grass collector. I favoured this over my flymo, as I wanted a better cut on the grass, oh and some stripes. I am so proud of my lawnmower and its cut I mow the neighbours lawn. It only took me 4 months of research and ebaying to find a good second hand one that would suit my needs. Like my father sadly so, but I now know why he spent so long in the garden, it was his way of escaping me and my brother for an hour or so. I now do the same to avoid my kids for an hour or so. I can see myself extending this activity by combining cleaning the car to avoid the wife, similar to my Dad. But it kept them together so turning into my old man may not be a bad thing. He hasn't gone bald, so at least I will keep my hair.
(wobbler, Sun 3 May 2009, 21:12, Reply)

Colours
I have now bought a pair of BROWN! smart shoes.
The sad thing is that I like them.
(Captain Spacker I lick windows, Sun 3 May 2009, 21:07, 4 replies)

My dad/me?
Standing in the bank one day and noticed the cctv screen. So I positioned myself to gurn at the camera then noticed my dad standing there pulling faces. 10 seconds looking aound for hime then it dawns on me. Oh F***k it's me.
Got over that and carried on gurning.
Bought more funky clothes later that day as well.
(Captain Spacker I lick windows, Sun 3 May 2009, 21:03, Reply)

Dads behaving badly
My Dad enjoys winding us kids up, he used to pick an argument with one of us over something daft, and get us to the point of frustrated tears, and then laugh at it. Favorites included "You'll never amount to anything" "Why can't you play keyboards like Tony Banks (Genesis, for the under 40's) and "You haven't got a girlfriend, are you a poof?"

Fast forward 20 years, and my 4 year old is talking to me in the kitchen. He starts to speak, I cut him off, he tries again, so I cut him off, he has a third go, so again I cut him off, chortling inside at my wit. He starts to sob, uncontrollably. The knowledge drops into my excuse for a brain, like an ice cube down my back that I am the biggest cunt in the world.

I never did that again, and still feel guilty as sin.
(micmac is happy as a pig in shite, Sun 3 May 2009, 20:46, Reply)

I skipped a generation
or two

..yours Hitler


oh and a whole religion
( Signify, Sun 3 May 2009, 20:42, Reply)

Am I turning into my parents? I dont think so. Now I will just get out of this chair..
...hurgh....*push on the arms*...grrr...*straighten legs*....mmmph...ooh, headrush
(bobman500 enjoys a grope as much as the next fella, Sun 3 May 2009, 20:00, 1 reply)

It sometimes gets terrifying.
Although I have much respect for my father, I never wanted to be like him. More: I wanted to be entirely different, despite all my love and that.

He is teetotal, and I rarely miss a weekend's drinking. Turns out that at my age (according to him) he could down two bottles of vodka and keep standing, and did this very often.

He doesn't smoke, and I go through between 10 to 20 Marlboro Reds a day. Turns out that at my age (again, according to his stories) he bought a pack of 'Extra-strong unfiltered'* every day on his way to school.

He doesn't read books, only newspapers and magazines, while I really enjoy a bit of literature (not to sound like a cunt). Turns out that at my age he went through heaps of books, allegedly having read the entire library in his village.**

My mother is about 159 centimeters tall (I'm not sure how many feet is that, but, basically, she's a fragile woman). None of my girlfriends exceeded this limit by more than 5 centimeters.

The fact that he doesn't like coffee or wear glasses are my last hopes of not becoming an exact clone of his in the future. I even look identically like his nineteen year old self!



*This is Poland of the 70s/80s, and the real name of the cigarettes was 'Ekstramocne bez filtra'.
**Again, this is rural Poland of the 70s. Although probably slighlty exaggerated, I wouldn't say that's impossible.
(firestormviper!!1 approaching god through cigarettes, Sun 3 May 2009, 19:00, 3 replies)

What you really want....
It's my birthday in a couple of weeks. My parents asked me what I want and it was a very quick decision to ask for a nice shiny new black & decker workmate and a good tennon saw.

Other things on the list are a subscription to the economist and socks.

Yes. I want fucking socks for my birthday. Where's the gin....
( more balanced than jeremy beadle It wasn't me..., Sun 3 May 2009, 18:22, Reply)

When I was younger having sex
with an older woman used bring me lots of kudos.

Now if I have sex with an older woman I have to bring lots of KY jelly instead.
(Lizard King, Sun 3 May 2009, 17:56, 3 replies)

Getting old?
Don't think this applies to the QOTW community where Pooflake and Spanky hanky are in the Best Of every week with their tales of poo and sperm.

If anything I'd say all us lot are getting younger. Or our mental age is anyway. And I mean that as a compliment.

Who wants to get old? Not me!

Bring on the poo and sperm - not literally!
(Hotty, Sun 3 May 2009, 17:45, 1 reply)

I've just come back from Homebase.
I spent longer than I'd like to think debating inwardly the relative merits of different spades.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Sun 3 May 2009, 15:20, 12 replies)

Well you see...
With age I have become increasingly neurotic. (I can also now spell the word neurotic.) I make sure that everything is exactly the way that I want it in my room or my computer... It's not even really organized, it's just laid out so I can find it.

I also have a day planner that I write things down in, but usually forget those things anyway.

I feel the need to argue with people until they know that I'm right. (Only when I am right, concerning something that I can prove.)

I have issues getting references from new TV shows because I almost never watch them anymore.

I check my e-mail twenty times a day.

I'm 16 and turning into my mother.
(Phoenix211, Sun 3 May 2009, 15:19, 1 reply)

The other day...
A couple of my friends were messing around at school and accidentally ran into me, but they kept running. I said loudly, "Learn to say 'Excuse me!'"

I also regularly correct my friends' grammar.

I also always laugh at teenagers who smoke before they're allowed. I think they look silly.

I often read cnn.com and then discuss these current events with my father.

I am able to argue with my VERY christian friend to the point where he just stops talking to me out of frustration. (I have stopped this, however, because he is still my friend.)

When I get bored, I read B3ta.

I'm a 16 year old girl and I'm turning into my father.
(Phoenix211, Sun 3 May 2009, 15:05, 3 replies)

I used to be a lot like my mum
Generally stressed, very easily upset, that sort of thing, she's just a bit neurotic and so was I. But then I hit puberty and started to turn into my Dad, which I think I prefer. I'm always unflapped, even by major situations. He has this particularly commanding tone of voice which I've picked up and use when it's needed (my friends call this The Authority Voice). I've also got an incredible ability to bullshit, which I get from him as well. I'm pretty sure these will all be useful skills when I become teacher in the next few years.

I'm also the go-to guy for lifts and that sort of thing...
(notjustahatrack peeling a sausage..., Sun 3 May 2009, 14:04, 1 reply)

I'm not suffering from hair loss
Thankfully, that gene seems to have skipped a generation. However, I am stuck with another curse. I've been going grey since I was 18.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Sun 3 May 2009, 13:35, 9 replies)

Went to Manchester this morning to do some shopping.
A big fat wad of cash burning a hole in my pocket and what do I come back with....



A new pair of slippers.
( girlinthehole, Sun 3 May 2009, 13:27, 2 replies)

As this is evolving into "Im getting old"
A few years back my mate got 2 tickets to see Judas Priest at the NEC; we gigged a lot at the time.

Mate "Hey Kite, I've got us 2 tickets for Priest"
Kitescreech "Yay, Sitting or standing"
M "Standing"
K "Bollox, I could really do with a sit down"
M "Me too"
(kitescreech still here, Sun 3 May 2009, 12:50, 1 reply)

This happened yesterday.
I overheard a group of kids talking, and understood nothing of what they said. As it happened, they were all black.
Enjoying the cosmopolitanism for a moment, I tried to guess what language they were speaking. It wasn't French, Spanish or Portuguese. It didn't sound European at all. Nor did it sound Arabic, so that ruled out North Africa. Swahili, perhaps? Chichiwa?

And, gradually, my ears attuned.

They were regular Mancunians, speaking a language I can neither understand nor hope to learn.

They were speaking the baffling argot known as Young Person.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Sun 3 May 2009, 12:34, Reply)

This
i94.photobucket.com/albums/l101/Sam_Chan/copyofscan.jpg

This is my little boy :)

The reality of my situation didn't really hit me until I'd had the scan.

Now, whenever I feel him move my hand automatically goes to my stomach and I think "awwwwwwwwwwww"
My reaction is the same when I see baby clothes.
I've also taken up knitting. It's actually very theraputic.
I now collect 50p coins and keep them in a box, another £3 and i'll open a savings account for him.
I wear leggings because jeans are uncomfy.
I have a strange desire to expand on my knitting and start doing cross stitch and crochet again.

In short, pregnancy is turning me into my grandmother. I'm one step away from being exactly like her. I've warned my man to let me know if he ever hears me speaking german to my womb :s

Length? About the same as a bar of chocolate apparently :o
(panda_sam, Sun 3 May 2009, 11:27, 15 replies)

Holy Crap
This QOTW has really freaked me out.

So far this week I've been enjoying classical music a la Pere and hankering after an allotment in which to grow my own vegetables.

Think I may even be balding :(
(ComplexStuff Was confused by life on, Sun 3 May 2009, 11:25, Reply)

Shoes
I own one pair of boots, one pair of "smart" shoes and one pair of moccasins. When one pair wears out, I will go to every shoe shop in town until I find a replacement pair as nearly identical to the old one as possible.

I've been following this compulsion for the last ten years.
(lolwhites, Sun 3 May 2009, 11:17, Reply)

trying not to turn into my dad
I actively seek ways of not being my dad...

First of all my dad believes he is inspector cluso, when me and the sisters were kids and mum and dad argued we played a game, dad would say his piece then walk out of the room "im off to make a cuppa!!" slamming the door behind him... we would wait 20 seconds and then one of us would pretend to be heading to the toilet, open the door and dad would either fall through it or pretend to be coming back minus his cuppa... truth was he would go outside the door and listen to what was being said about him... even now 10 years after they deviorced and my mum moved 200 miles away he likes us to think hes some sort of super spy if i was to say to my sister "damn. whats mums address again?" in front of him he would come back "oh i can get that for you" with a big smerk on his face, i swear if he knew anything about technology we would all be bugged.

And he still hasn't let my mum go after all this time, and the "perverted drongo" shes now married to who he is regularly going to kill or put in hospital even though dad has someone new himself.

Secondly my father is a massive hoarder because anything might "come in handy one day" he actually picks things up off the road, like nuts and bolts fallen off cars and trucks and bits of wire and brings them all home and puts them im his shed.... a shed that you can no longer get into because of all the crap in there and one day the over filled attic is going to come crashing through the house... it might be nasty to say but when my dad leaves this world im not looking forward to sorting that lot out lol

Thirdly calling my mums new bloke a pervert is a little hypocritical, dad always liked to take pictures of my mum and even went as far as having a naked oil painting done of her which was displayed proudly on the living room wall for her 8 year old son to see. And he would regularly 'accidently' happen to be walking naked to the bathroom from the bedroom just as people were coming round to visit. arrange the words black, pot, calling, kettle

So i avoid being all this, i respect peoples privacy including my partners, i live in a very minimalist way and can't stand having clutter, i feel no need to show off my own parts or anyone elses on my living room wall despite being quite open minded and comfortable around people and such things. and in relationship break ups ive always walked away without jealosy and bitterness, in fact when my daughters mum met her new bloke and then i met him for the first time, i handed my 10 month old daughter to him as a sign of respect and i said i respect you two are together and that you will be in my daughters life so here she is, all i want in return is respect that she is my daughter and that im bringing her up, then we had a pint..

Apologies for the lack of humour, but thank you for listening..

length ? well im not gonna myself compare to dad but i would guess that i got bigger balls.
(maxumus HEY!.... diddly dee, de de de de de de, Sun 3 May 2009, 11:14, 1 reply)

Oh dear
I read the Daily Telegraph and enjoy doing so.
I enjoy listening to Beethoven, Bach and Vivaldi, amongst other composers.
I'm 16.
I have never been drunk (although I enjoy bitter and a few lagers, and know more about wines than some adults I know) and have no intention of doing so until I can legally buy alcohol.
I think those teens who choose to get drunk so they can "have a good time" are degenerates.
I do not associate myself with these degenerates.
I'm 16.
I cannot stand Drum and Bass music, thinking it to just be the sound of Satan's farts.
I do not go to discos. If I am forced to go to one, I do not dance as I do not enjoy it.
I'm 16.
Modern Pop music, as well as Indie music (but let's face it, what's the difference these days?), is nowadays the same tune over and over again by bands that sound indentical.
I listen to The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Kinks, Frank Sinatra and other big band music.
I'm 16.

Err, hang on a sec...

*ulp*
(General_Manchego, Sun 3 May 2009, 10:44, 17 replies)

But seriously
Music today is rubbish isnt it? Its a Synthezised drums and breathy singing, or blokes singing about how rich they are. Not like in my day, proper music then, you could hear the words. Proper musicians. It was a craft.
(kitescreech still here, Sun 3 May 2009, 9:10, 1 reply)

15 years ago
Me and a group of school friends were sat around a table in our local pub. We were comparing recent purchases from the big-brand shops in town.

"These jeans?" said Chris. "100 quid"

We all looked on in awe at the expensive clothing. I could only afford cheap jeans.

Roll forwards to about six months ago, just before I left for Japan. The same group of friends sat around the same table in the same pub.

"Nice T-Shirt" says Chris, pointing at my funky attire.

"Thanks" I replied. "Three quid from the Moss Bros sale, 90% off!"

Chris and the others cooed as one, we all nodded our heads for a while before supping our nut-brown ales in quiet celebration of my shopping prowess.

*sigh*
( chart cat has an itch, Sun 3 May 2009, 8:45, 2 replies)