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This is a question I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - IGNORING THIS COULD RESULT IN BAN

* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?

So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.

Read Latest | Highest Voted

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 8 Aug 2018, 9:00)
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What sort of spicy chicken betrays you to the Empire
Nando Calrissian
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 9 May 2018, 16:31, 1 reply, 7 years ago)
why did the cow cross the road?
to get to the udder side
(I helped save b3ta! sock more tea vicar?, Wed 9 May 2018, 16:25, 1 reply, 7 years ago)
I have a growth the exact size and shape of a Sumerian burial chamber.
It's a tomb Ur.
(Roger McGough-Pipe, Wed 9 May 2018, 15:51, Reply)
Second in line to throne launches probe into Britain's separation from the European Union:
Brexit, pursued by an heir.
(I helped save b3ta! JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks, Wed 9 May 2018, 13:58, 2 replies, latest was 7 years ago)
A woman hears her husband is in hospital and rushes to A&E. The doctor, who is Italian, says: "I'm-a sorry. It-a seems-a your ahsband is-a turning into a tree."
She asks, "Oh my God, is he getting any better?"
Says the doctor: "No! He's-a sick-a more!"

(I swear it's funny out loud.)
(LovableJim, Wed 9 May 2018, 13:46, 3 replies, latest was 7 years ago)
The world origami championship is going to be on Sky this year.
As a paper-view event.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 May 2018, 12:04, Reply)
What's the difference between a 70's disco dance floor and your mum after bukkake?
One's a funky space, the other's got a spunky face.
(I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Wed 9 May 2018, 10:57, Reply)
What do you say to a non-gender specific person engaged to fit carpets who needs to get a move on but has told you in passing that s/he has a degree in Spanish language
Underlay underlay
(Gusofnavarone always makes a map of france from sarnies, Wed 9 May 2018, 10:36, 1 reply, 7 years ago)
Is that Alphaville in your pocket, or are you just Big in Japants?

(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 9 May 2018, 10:21, Reply)
What do you call a Star Trek villain who branches out into alternative medicine and R&B?
Chakras Khan
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 9 May 2018, 10:19, Reply)
What do you call an alien with no eyes?
Alen
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 9 May 2018, 10:18, Reply)
Why were there so many Crusades?
Because they're so Moorish.
(I helped save b3ta! Natt, Wed 9 May 2018, 9:54, 1 reply, 7 years ago)
What do King's Cross and Yorkshire weather have in common?
T'rain.
(horrid, Wed 9 May 2018, 9:32, Reply)
What kind of cheese does Han solo hate?
Bobba Fetta
(I helped save b3ta! mrmenfolk, Wed 9 May 2018, 8:51, Reply)
Why couldn't Celine Dion afford any dolls?
Because she is porcelain (poor Celine)
(I helped save b3ta! mrmenfolk, Wed 9 May 2018, 8:50, Reply)
What did the giant with a speech impediment who wanted an internet access device implanted in his digit say
Wi Fi Fo' Fumb
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 9 May 2018, 4:21, Reply)
I have a grudging respect for people who do fly tipping.
They've got six legs, sticky feet, and they're a damned sight harder to sneak up on than cows.
(Astatine, Wed 9 May 2018, 2:40, Reply)
.
mc@hammer: ~ $ ls
file.txt
mc@hammer: ~ $ touch this
touch: cannot touch 'this': Permission denied
mc@hammer: ~ $ sudo !!
[sudo] password for mc: **********
mc@hammer: ~ $ ls
file.txt
this
(Mr._Pickles, Wed 9 May 2018, 0:27, 1 reply, 7 years ago)
I ordered a Hawaiian pizza today
There was no ham or pineapple on it and the cheese was about 1,200°C
(Mr._Pickles, Wed 9 May 2018, 0:24, Reply)
I got involved in a bust-up at a Buddhist meditation sangha
There was some serious Dharma drama.
(wolf_ie, Wed 9 May 2018, 0:18, 3 replies, latest was 7 years ago)
"Doctor, doctor...
The GUI on my Unix based system has crashed and it's left me with just a command line prompt. Is it serious?"

"I'm afraid it's Terminal."
(Mr._Pickles, Wed 9 May 2018, 0:17, 2 replies, latest was 7 years ago)

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