What do Polypeptide Chains and Andrew Tate have in common?
They can both be labelled In Cells.
(FrenchBoast, Thu 7 Dec 2023, 21:49, 2 replies, latest was 11 months ago)

During geography, our teacher had us independenly figure out the size of the earth
We eventually learned the answer once we checked "A Round" all over the globe.
(FrenchBoast, Thu 7 Dec 2023, 21:47, 3 replies, latest was 11 months ago)

I just had underwhelming italian food. The farfalle was undercooked, the canneloni was overdone, the spaghetti was flavourless, the chef seems to have some problems cooking pasta.
...he made a fusilli mistakes!!!!
(evening 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Tue 5 Dec 2023, 17:54, Reply)

I went to this vegan event, when a woman who was there started insisting she knows me from somewhere.
Sadly, I don't think I've ever seen herbivore
(jungleismassive, Sat 2 Dec 2023, 20:57, 2 replies, latest was 1 year ago)

In the old days, people would queue to hit you in the face, if you didn’t finish a joke.
It was called a ‘punchline’.
( atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Sat 2 Dec 2023, 20:03, Reply)

What do vivisectionists wear on their feet?
Open-toad sandals!
( Happosai _,,,,_(O ; o)_,,,, Thu 30 Nov 2023, 18:21, Reply)

Feeling Suicidal?
Become a Space X Test Pilot today!
( atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Sat 25 Nov 2023, 17:22, 10 replies, latest was 2 months ago)

which reggae band campaigns for awareness of the plight of carniverous fish who suffer with swellings and inflamation?
Shark edema amplifiers
(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Sat 25 Nov 2023, 14:07, 2 replies, latest was 1 year ago)

Which popular reggae group likes to asphyxiate mice by blowing smoke from JPS cigarettes on them?
Choke-a de mouse on Players
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 23 Nov 2023, 11:18, Reply)

I support my friend's opposition to inauthentic Vietnamese noodle soup
I'm fo' faux Pho foes
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 23 Nov 2023, 0:04, 1 reply, 1 year ago)

I used to write jokes for a living…
…but everyone kept laughing at me.
( atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Wed 22 Nov 2023, 23:48, 2 replies, latest was 1 year ago)

Which writer born in 1731 is 100% for certain the author of Robinson Crusoe, Captain Singleton, and Moll Flanders?
Daniel Deffo!
(evening 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Wed 22 Nov 2023, 9:36, Reply)

"What happened to your puppies?"
"Oh, I gave them away to a nice Thai family from somewhere in Warwickshire"

"Nuneaton?"

"No, you're thinking of Koreans"
(ElPresidente, Mon 20 Nov 2023, 22:48, Reply)

Which popular reggae group was formed when the 'Queen of Funk' showed reluctance to use a hand tool to hold objects firmly?
Chaka Demurs on Pliers.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 20 Nov 2023, 11:07, Reply)

Which cat from the musical "Cats" could destroy a major city with a single blast?
Tsar Bombalurina!
( Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Mon 20 Nov 2023, 1:14, Reply)

Which heavy metal rock singer lost his driving licence?
Ronnie James DUI.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Sat 18 Nov 2023, 0:39, Reply)

Just got myself a Luton Airport Advent Calendar
Every day i open a door, a car park bursts in flames.
(FrenchBoast, Wed 15 Nov 2023, 22:31, 8 replies, latest was 1 year ago)

I told this girl I was an ornithologist.
She said, “Oh, you’re a bird watcher.”
I said, “Yeah, I love tits!”
( atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Thu 9 Nov 2023, 12:27, 7 replies, latest was 1 year ago)

Half of which popular reggae group always tells the truth, while the other half always doesn't?
Chaka Demus and LIARS
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 8 Nov 2023, 18:30, Reply)

A Qatari businessman's private jet crashed over the Swiss alps
The lone survivor of the crash, he lasted 6 days before resorting to butchering and eating the body of the deceased female flight attendant. He ultimately died of starvation because he refused to eat one portion of her body. Which portion of her body did he refuse to eat and why?
( the prick of misery pierced my foot on a spiiiike on, Tue 7 Nov 2023, 22:19, 6 replies, latest was 1 year ago)

I have carved out a highly successful career making models of famous sporting trophies out of PVC.
In fact, I've just made the World Cup vinyl.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Fri 3 Nov 2023, 14:00, 1 reply, 1 year ago)

Two married field farmers we're busying harvesting the crops...
The woman said she has had enough of this task, and wants to do something else for a change.

The man was outraged and demanded that they should keep going on.

The woman replied:

"Can't we settle an agri-ment later?"
(FrenchBoast, Sun 22 Oct 2023, 15:56, 1 reply, 1 year ago)

Fighting is a lot like throwing a boomerang.....
You'll need a clear look at it before it suddenly hits you.
(FrenchBoast, Sun 22 Oct 2023, 15:44, Reply)

Why was the mohel disappointed when he visited the kosher barbecue joint?
He had been told he could find briss kit there.
( the prick of misery pierced my foot on a spiiiike on, Sun 22 Oct 2023, 14:35, 2 replies, latest was 1 year ago)

Remember a few years back that Pie factory in Huddersfield which exploded?.....
3.14159 people were injured.
(lladoog once licked never beaten, Thu 19 Oct 2023, 7:48, 1 reply, 1 year ago)

I was once accused of collecting stamps
I philately denied it.
( Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Tue 17 Oct 2023, 12:19, 1 reply, 1 year ago)

Why are the israelis embarrassed
because they're all gathered around watching gaza strip
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 16 Oct 2023, 22:51, 1 reply, 1 year ago)

Last night, the server at this restaurant kept telling me of his ups and downs in Life…
…he was a dumb waiter.
( atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Sun 15 Oct 2023, 21:10, Reply)

Did you hear about the Mexican Ivy League graduate...
...who was arrested in Connecticut for securities fraud?

Si. He whenttu yail.
(DingoChavez I will be good. I will be good., Sat 7 Oct 2023, 17:40, 5 replies, latest was 1 year ago)

Procol Harum built the biggest sandcastles because they used a wider shape of pail.
(Max Harvey, Fri 6 Oct 2023, 14:16, Reply)