I was always a pest of a big sister
but it's way better now that we're adults (I'm 26, she's 24) and it's a fair fight. I was at a Scout camp a few years ago, and we were playing a game called "full-contact musical chairs". It came down to the two of us at the end, and she tried to take the last seat but I foiled her by grabbing the back of her bra strap with one hand, and the back of her underpants with the other, and lifted her off the ground. This resulted in an atomic wedgie for her, and I claimed the empty chair and won the game. To make things even funnier, most of the people that witnessed this game thought we were total strangers, and that I'd just grabbed the pants of someone I had just met.

Also, the ongoing joke in my family is that my parents used to buy us matching toys in different colours when we were little. i would break mine and then claim it was Gilly's that was broken. Well, by an odd coincidence, my sister and I have new matching lawn chairs, which i labeled clealry so we'd know whose was whose if one got broken. Wouldn't you know it, they managed to get switched between our houses, and I broke "her" chair while camping on the weekend! I think she did it on purpose. It's alright, I broke her chair after drinking most of her liquor, so it all worked out.

Oh yes, and she broke my nose with her head when I was 11, while fighting over the cat. Good times.
(ghettobooty, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 20:41, Reply)

Evil bastards
I was such an angel, and never antagonised the twin.
That little bastard though;
Had a toy gun that fired discs - right at my lip.
Pushed me off a "space hopper" bouncy thing, breaking my arm.
His best friend punched me in the mouth for singing "Chaka Khan" resulting in a seriously split lip.
He's 5 minutes older than me and even though we're now in out 30's, he STILL calls me his afterbirth.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 20:40, Reply)

Worst thing I did to my sister
We were playing chicken in the garden with lawn-darts. These were foot long metal spikes with cheerful coloured plastic fins. the game was to throw the dart between the others legs, and cause it to stick into the ground.
The huge gash in her leg, and chipped shin was the result.
A year later she threw a regular dart, and stuck it into my head, but that's just life in the country.
(BigAndyBee, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 20:32, Reply)

When I was 3...
...and my brother was a few months old, I went over to his cott and pulled his arm through the rails really hard. My parents thought he'd dislocated his arm when they heard the screams and the doctor was there pretty quickly! He hadn't though, and I got a serious telling off.

I'm evil...
(uncle_bob, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 20:29, Reply)

I loked my sister out once
As a joke. Then started taunting her from the other inside. All good natured fun.

My concern rose when my small, angelic-looking 8 year old sister punched her way through the back door and appeared "Here's Johnny!" style in the kitchen.

I did the only thing a skinny 12 year old could do - ran like the wind and didn't look back. Apparently she broke a couple of knuckles but I was too busy pulling in 3-minute miles to notice.
(Chumphry, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 20:06, Reply)

Fight of the Week
When I was six, there was a weekly boxing match on TV called "Fight of the Week." Great show! Anyway, the morning after a particularly rousing match, I stopped my four-year-old sister and said "Let's play 'Fight of the Week!'" She said, "I don't want to play 'Fight of the Week.'" "Come on," I said, "let's play 'Fight of the Week!'" I jabbed at her in a friendly way. Fuming, she popped me right in the mouth. That's how I lost my first tooth and that was the last time we played 'Fight of the Week.'"
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 19:44, Reply)

I threw a cupful of pens/pencils at my sister once. It also contained a fork.
There's a memorable moment during one fight when I remember stepping on her face and pulling her hair at the same time. Glorious.
( Funtastic Pony Magic, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 19:12, Reply)

Water fight.
Start: Fight over who gets to play with the garden hose.
End: My brother's blood, splashed on the concrete.

I jerked the hose away from him and he fell, cracking his head open on the corner of the patio. Can't say I regretted it... I got the hose.
( Butters and his titanium codsocket, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 19:06, Reply)

Seaside shennanigans
I have always been fascinated by the level of trust I put in my younger brother, despite repeated examples of how stupid this is. One example:

We were holidaying in Cornwall. I think I was about 9 and he was 8. Now, the thing about the Cornish sea is that it is filled with tiny, stingy bits of jellyfish as a result of said animals getting caught in fishing nets and being hacked into small pieces to get them out. My brother had spent an industrious afternoon filling a sand-castle bucket with bits of jellyfish. He then somehow convinced me that they were not stingy and I should test this by sticking my hand in the bucket.

Pain. Stupidity was rewarded by pain.

I did however eventually get him back by buggering off to university and leaving him to feel the full force of my parents' attention for a whole year all alone. Bwahahahahaha.
(kitteny_goodness, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 19:05, Reply)

Little sod
I think I was about 11 at the time and my cousin was probably 8. We got along fine, but one day he just came up to me and said "I want a fight with you." I kept telling him to give it a rest, but he pestered me all day and was really getting on my nerves. So to get him to shut up, I granted him his wish: a beautiful fuck-off kung fu kick (with no prior experience) square in the mouth. He was knocked spark out, and although I had some explaining to do, I'd knocked some sense into the little sod.

Well, turns out I didn't, since he's a druggy bum now. Ah well.
(Shake, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 18:49, Reply)

Drawing pin
I was furious with my sister, so I put an upturned drawing pin on the stairs, ready for her to step on it.

A short while later, I thundered up the stairs, having completely forgotten about my evil plan. Of course, I trod on the drawing pin and consequently howled for ages.

Of course, she didn't know it was meant for her, and showered me with sympathy. Felt rather guilty.
(Pachey, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 18:46, Reply)

psychological injury
when I was about three, I poked the eyes out of my sisters 'tiny tears' doll. snipurl.com/h1ou

I left it on the stairs by the front door, for when she came home from school.

there it sat, blank eyed, as she ran in the front door and came face to face, eye to socket, with this abomination.

much screaming, many many nightmares.

oh, and the time I losened the handlebars on her bike .. arse over tit, grazed face, 'rents had a hard time not laughing at that gem.
(sham-il-eer-tak-tak noes better but still can't give a fuck at, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 18:41, Reply)

Well me and my brother have had a few scraps in our time
Some of the worst ones (between the ages of 8 - 12):

I hit him in the head with his brass trumpet after annoying me in the car..and got a huuuge lump on his head and concussion.

Made him crack his tooth by tripping him up by the fireplace and hitting the slates while my mom was out, i made him drink salt water and covinced him to say that he fell over outside.

He hit me in the head with a golfclub when we went crazy golf "By accident".

Slammed my fingers in the hinge of a car door..yes i still feel the pain.
(Sparkypinkguitar, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 18:21, Reply)

I stabbed my elder sister in the arse with a fork.
Over an argument about pizza.
She cut up the two pizzas into four slices each. Seeing as I was hungry and I had cooked the pizzas, I chose the largest slice from each pizza. She shouted at me, "Don't take the biggest slices, they are all the same size!" I laughed at her, she shouted at me and got cross. I got cross, I stabbed her arse with a fork.
I was 19 at the time, she was 21.
( fishsticks, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 18:20, Reply)

Little bro maimings etc
Amongst other things, I;

1. Used to make him go and buy porn mags from the local chemist with a forged letter from 'Dad'. It worked, too!

2. Shot him in the arse with an air rifle.

3. Threw a stone at him, while he was floating in the sea in a dinghy. To be fair, I didn't mean to hit him. Caught him square in the middle of his forehead. There was blood everywhere, and he still sports a scar to this day to remind him of my handiwork.

Amazingly, we're still very good friends.
(8-Ball, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 18:12, Reply)

Fore!
I made my sister lie down and place a golf ball between her bottom lip and chin so I could take a swing (I was about 13, she was 8ish)

It would of worked except my mate managed to hit a ball from the other side of the field which twatted her right in the eye. My perents went fucking phycho, and she wasn't too chuffed either. She is now much harder than me.

Bless
( nnnndave, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 18:10, Reply)

well...
when i was about 6 i charged head first into my brother running full speed at his gut. as you might of guessed, he moved, but i didnt notice and kept running straight into the sink. i have a 2 inch scar from where i cracked my head open on the bowl, and it joins up nicely in a + from where i fell down the stairs into the side of a radiator not long after too. to this day everybody still thinks i slipped on a rug.

not realy somthing evil that i did to my brother, but we all love it when the baddie gets his comeuppance eh? i sure learnt my lesson anyway.
( Cashy, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 18:00, Reply)

.
I stole my sister's bird and she ended up with a chicken bone through her foot.


Let me elaborate. My sister and cousin were playing a rousing game of badminton. By rousing, I mean the type of rousing your 80 year old grandfather gets without his viagra, of course. Cue me stealing the birdie, and running. Running right through our garbage heap in my bare feet, dancing around the chicken bones and rotten tomatoes and whatnot. My sister, being not so nimble in her chasing me, planted her foot right on the said bone of dead poulty. Right though her shoe, and through quite a large amount of flesh.

Accidental, but, my fault none-the-less.

(My first post. Woo?)
(AnonymousCadenza, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 17:56, Reply)

i threw a boomarang
i didnt throw it very well. it was going to hit one of the windows on my house. luckily my sister got in the way and it clocked her straight across the top of the nose, there was a small explosion of blood and she ran off crying, i was just thankful i didnt break a window!
( Sellers funkie not junkie, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 17:47, Reply)

Finally, a decent QotW
Being the younger brother, i never really got a shot in at my 2 years older brother, but I have 2 scars in my forehead from when he got me good.

The first was when i was about 3 in my Grandparents back garden, where they had a big METAL swing. Cue me running behind it when my brother was on and getting spanged in the forehead. Nice

Second one was a few years later when i was chasing my cat around the car (c'mon, i was a kid) when my brother, for no particular reason, decides to get out the opposite side of the car from where he was sitting, and me running full pelt into the door. Off to hospital for stitches.

Both incidents seem unintentional, but thats what he WANTS you to think...
(Graz Da Frog, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 17:46, Reply)

I tied my brother to his bed
and stuck some apple labels to his nob. It was hard for him to peel them off, what with it being such a sensitive area. Tee hee.
( Bob Todd whee, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 17:36, Reply)

aaaaah, the memories come flooding back...............
because similar deeds outlined here happened to me frequently. General torture, or 'love' given to me by my older brother involved suffocation with duvets/upturned dinghy; race to the shops with me as the only contender; made to pick up hard white dog shits; 'you're adopted'; hide and seek where i'd hide for hours to discover that he'd gone out previous; the 'no means yes/yes means yes game' - punch 'did you like that?' 'no' - punch; the punching game, where all that happened was that he punched my arm til i couldn't feel it and it was all blue; jungle drums - chest gets twatted whilst i was pinned to the ground.

Two particular incidents stick in my mind.
1) Pile of bricks with plank on top. He instructed that I stand with my feet pushed underneath the plank. He jumps on other end. Hey presto, no skin on shins.
2) I broke my leg, the day my first 'real' bike had been bought. Lying in bed being sad, he came in and was lovely and kind to me - then proceeded to tell me the story of the lonely orphan (Ben) who our parents had given my bike to because he needed it and I was a cripple. Much tears from me and much sniggering from him.

Funny, but, this all seems perfectly normal to me and forms part of my happy childhood memories!!!
(ell, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 17:34, Reply)

Sibling love!
Me and my brother both very young. Playing a game of hockey (didn't have sticks so we used wooden baseball bats). Both go for the ball at same time. Equal strength causes ball to become stuck between our two bats. Both start pushing as hard as we can to try and win control of ball... Que my bat slipping and seeing as I was pushing REALLY hard it flew up into the air and smashed my brother full force in the head. Brother falls to floor unconscious. I run upstairs screaming.
He was okay in the end...
(mindpoet17, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 17:30, Reply)

My brother........
Stabbed me through the hand with a carving knife once..

This was in retaliation for me dropping a magazine of his and the cover coming off.....

fuck knows what he'd do if he found out about me screwing his ex a few years back
( bigmeuprudeboy is using powerpoint or paint...have MERCY, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 17:22, Reply)

Stoned
We were 6 or 7. We were fannying around in the shallows and rockpools of Jersey, Channel Islands. I picked up a large, flat stone (3 inch diameter) and skimmed it, successfully - 3 floops as I recall.

Just midway between the 3rd floop and the 4th, it smakked into my sister's calf. She passed out and hit the sand like a sack of shit.

We carried her out of the rockpool and splashed her till she came round. Never told our parents.
(sentinel, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 17:21, Reply)

Feel really guilty now,
but i was a proper twat to my middle brother when we were younger ( the other one would have got it too if there weren't eleven years between us)

Favourite things to do were send him off to insult kids i didn't like to give them lip so he'd get battered and i'd have an excuse to fight them!

Inviting him to come out with me and my mates basically so we'd have someone to pick on, including going for a long walk in the middle of nowhere and then legging it and leaving him to find his own way home when he was seven!

Knocked him out twice pushing him downstairs and various other evil things.

Still speaks to me though, probably plotting some sort of hideous revenge, which to be fair i'd more than deserve!
(El Cabron, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 17:17, Reply)

Being a little sister.
One day on the green up from our house my big brother and I were playing cricket with some friends and I was back stop but I was stood way too close to my brother who was batting. So he swung it and hit me in the face. My scream echoed round the houses.
Another time on said green when I was maybe 5 and he was 8 he made me really angry for a reason I can no longer recall, so I bit him really hard on the knee and my tooth fell out. I suppose that's more self-inflicted sibling bullying really.
(tears_of_joy., Thu 18 Aug 2005, 17:05, Reply)

Went to give my sister a dead arm, aged 10
I was a master at this. It was going to be a good one, I could feel it.

She ducked.

I hit her temple.

She was concussed.

That'll learn her.
(Coomy, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 16:55, Reply)