I'm an IT Manager. So I have control over all the mail servers and internal comms in our company. I was asked by a Director to remove a couple of emails accidentally sent to two members of staff, before they returned to work the following day. This I duly did. However while there I discovered that these two people spend most of the day bitching about pretty much everyone in the company (including their boss), usually while being extremely friendly to their face - often they are typing these vicious emails to each other WHILE having the conversation with their 'target'. Horribly two-faced. What gets on my tits is all the stuff they say about me though. I'm now addicted to it and getting myself more and more wound up every day. I can't reveal I've seen their mail because it makes me look unprofessional. But I've opened Pandora's box and now hate going to work. Serves me right I guess!

Although they have broken the two Golden Rules of the office - (1) Don't use work email for personal communications, and (2) Don't piss off the IT Manager.
(Euan_Kerr, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:54, 25 replies)

The other solution is to stop being such an unlikable joke of a human
then they'll have fewer reasons to laugh and sneer at you behind your back.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:21, closed)

I'm not an unlikeable joke of a human! I'm a top fella!
I like trainspotting, collect mummified organs and I'm against washing on religious grounds - I'm really the most interesting person in the office. You'd love me.
(Euan_Kerr, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:26, closed)

Let the internet be the judge of that, like nature intended.
What have they said about you?
(showman, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:51, closed)

Typical stuff....
mainly passing extreme judgement on pretty much everything I say - although agreeing with it out loud. Which kind of makes me not want to speak much!
(Euan_Kerr, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 18:09, closed)

Have you given any consideration to the possibility that you should perhaps stop weeping about the bigger girls bitching about you and grow a pair of fucking stones?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 19:12, closed)

Ah Dr Shambolic........
Have you ever thought about how you spend your spare time? Typing vacuous hate into your keyboard all day? Do you consider that a worthwhile contribution to humanity? Wait... do you work in my office?
(Euan_Kerr, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 19:22, closed)

Are you one of these clumping retards who types at one word a minute and thinks the grown ups must do too?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 19:25, closed)

Wow
You consider yourself to be grown up....
Just, well, wow.
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 11:18, closed)

Hello, whoever you are.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 12:40, closed)

Hello to you too

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 14:48, closed)

Is it within your capabilities to set up an account
and use it to send emails that will upset them?

If not, get them to join this board.
That'll sort the fuckers.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 7 Jan 2014, 17:44, closed)

I suppose I could use the content of their emails to play mind games with them. They even slag each other off to their other friends.
(Euan_Kerr, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 18:10, closed)

Welcome to the human race

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 18:56, closed)

Pandora's Inbox ... surely?
(Bob the Builder killed Captain Alex, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 18:04, closed)

:-)
(Euan_Kerr, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 18:06, closed)

Very good.

(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 20:08, closed)

Don't worry about them.
But if you have to talk to them mention the correct words.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 19:05, closed)

Stop fucking around,
and leak the entire contents of both mailboxes to every other employee.

Then send a company wide email apologising for technical problems on the mail server, and ask everyone politely to ignore any mail they might have accidentally received from 2 vitriolic gossipy bitches.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 19:37, closed)

Yeah I like that. I could blame it on a drive-by exploit - they are always on the web during the day anyway.
(Euan_Kerr, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 21:20, closed)

I can see it is annoying, but in fact
if everybody looks around them, right now, every single person you can see does this all the time.

It's how people are. We all do it.
(username failed moderation, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 9:35, closed)

my brother had a RL friend at university with your username
they named a cocktail after him at the college bar and everything
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 9:52, closed)

Did he go on to edit The Beano?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 10:09, closed)

:-) I went to school with a Richard Head and used to work with a Chris Peacock. Genuinely. I have a very puerile sense of humour so love all that stuff.
(Euan_Kerr, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 16:28, closed)

Christopher Peacock was on Coast to Coast. And then on Newsroom SouthEast.
TRUFAX!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 16:37, closed)

I heard of a Drew Peacock
and a Philip Mycock who didn't like being called "Phil".
(rogerzilla, Wed 8 Jan 2014, 21:48, closed)