
When I worked as a window cleaner, everybody - and I mean everybody - I knew asked me the "how's yer father" question. The truth was that I was always knackered and freezing, and the only nudity I saw was some fat bloke's arse. Tell us how your work differs from the expectation.
Thanks to Rotating Wobbly Hat for the idea
( , Thu 8 May 2014, 22:21)
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My Eastern European 'friend's' expectations. Leave your shitty country where everything is going downhill and there is no way up. Choose to live within a mile of one of the best City's in the UK with an elderly couple in a million pound house as a 'carer'(although the word isn't in your vocabulary). Demand to be treated as an equal and not a worker. Tell the old man at all times how brilliant, clever, indispensable you are. Assure the old man repeatedly it is only you keeping the old woman alive. Pretend to save her life on at least two occasions. Demand to be paid the same rate as agency staff, after all you know the job a lot better than them. When your demands for more pay aren't met walk out without a moments notice (but only for a little while). Brainwash the old man with your family and bring them all over! Let the old man help them financially realize their childhood dreams!
You didn't reckon on his sons witnessing a barbarick Eastern European practice you used on the old lady. Brought in the Social Worker but you had done your brain washing so well that the old man sided with you.
Length, you knew it would be a long stay
( , Sat 10 May 2014, 8:33, 17 replies)

Illiteracy - check
Paranoia - check
Xenophobia - check.
Congratulations! You have qualified as a UKIP electoral candidate! Collect your rosette and fruitcake from the reception.
( , Sat 10 May 2014, 9:07, closed)

is it because you're thick or because you abandoned your parents and are somehow surprised that they prefer the people who are looking after them rather than their grubby, lazy offspring whose only interest is the value of the house?
( , Sat 10 May 2014, 9:15, closed)

( , Sat 10 May 2014, 10:08, closed)

Starring Rick Moranis and one or both of French and Saunders.
Directed by Mel Gibson
(All proceeds not going to spastics, foreigns, gypsys or gays that's for fucking sure)
( , Sat 10 May 2014, 10:09, closed)

( , Sat 10 May 2014, 10:39, closed)

coming over here and caring for our old people.
( , Sat 10 May 2014, 11:13, closed)

I'd move to Italy so Berlusconi could make my tea.
( , Sat 10 May 2014, 11:16, closed)

( , Sat 10 May 2014, 11:22, closed)

Get Big Ronnie and his mates to sort 'em out and show 'em what England really finks about their sort. I gan give you his mobile, gaz me if you don't already got it.
( , Sat 10 May 2014, 13:44, closed)

( , Sat 10 May 2014, 14:10, closed)

By a middle-class, educated professional like Doctor Shipman!
Those pesky [Insert Nationality Here] people coming over here and doing a half-arsed job at bunking off old people!
( , Sat 10 May 2014, 15:01, closed)

( , Sun 11 May 2014, 16:34, closed)

( , Mon 12 May 2014, 18:52, closed)
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