My Theory
Now, a lot of people will bitch and moan about this. That's fine, we're all allowed opinions, and this is mine.

I think there are too many people, and as they say, ignorance breeds ignorance, literally, I'm afraid.

At birth:
All children should be implanted with a contraceptive "chip", and scheduled for it to be replaced regularly, when it runs out.

Anyone who wishes to have children:
Should take a test and some classes in basic childcare, to prove that they're capable of it, and have actually thought about it.
Successful completion of this will result in removal of the contraceptive implant from both parties.
I'm not saying that "stupid people can't have children", more that it should be a conscious decision to opt in.

Anyone found to have to have tampered with their implant:
Will have it re-fitted. Three strikes and you're out though; forcible sterilization for repeat offenders.
( Cawl, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 9:52, 40 replies)

That's a wee bit scary, Kaol
The fact is that the majority of kids and parents aren't bad, nor are they stupid or ignorant.
Yep, there are chav mothers and scummy little bastards, but down at my daughter's school all I see are good, though completely spoilt, sweet little kids and doting, if totally loaded parents.
S'really not that bad.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 9:57, closed)

Bert, you're right.
Many parents are less than perfect. But remarkably few are actually bad. While it might be a whole lot better not to be born to an illiterate 15-year-old, it doesn't follow from that that it would be better not to be born at all.

(edit: Mornin' everyone...)
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 10:00, closed)

Good morning your holiness
You seem a tad focused on the 15 year old mothers lately. Have you knocked up a bifter...?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 10:03, closed)

The idea is simply
To cut down on the number of unplanned births.

You'd just have to opt to have children, rather than "Whoops, I'm gonna be a Daddy after a night of monkey-sex with a slapper from a club".

The other perk would be that there'd be more money freed up for support of children that are born, due to a drop in numbers, ensuring better schooling, healthcare and quality of life.


EDIT: Mornin' Enzyme, congrats on the cannonization!
( Cawl, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 10:04, closed)

Ummmm...
Not to my knowledge... though what I get up to while sleepwalking is, clearly, not something about which I can comment.

All conceptions involving me are immaculate, innit?

(And, yes, I know that it was Mary, not Jesus, whose conception was immaculate.)
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 10:05, closed)

you know that the title 'Brave New World'
wasn't mean to be taken literally right?
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 10:07, closed)

@Kaol
Would you be happy with an implant from birth? Effectively controlling what should be your natural right?
Yes, there are unplanned births, and mums that take the piss when it comes to benefits (my ex included, that cow takes money from EVERYONE)... but er... I'm losing my point here.

Maybe it would be better to appoint an 'abortion finder general' who would dispatch of the unplanned babies, rather than controlling all the responsible people who go about having children properly. He could be called Edward Coathangerhands.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 10:08, closed)

@apeloverage
Well, Prospero meant it in earnest...


(It was Prospero, wasn't it? Can't rightly remember...)
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 10:13, closed)

See,
You're getting it now Burt.
Bring on the mighty Edward Coathangerhands I say!
( Cawl, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 10:13, closed)

maybe you could annex the desk next to you
and i thought they had got all of them in 'The Boys from Brazil'
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 10:24, closed)

^^ Dammit
I'm not Josef Mengele!
Or a generic-Nazi.
( Cawl, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 10:27, closed)

@Kaol
You haven't found yourself on the Wiesenthal Foundation's list have you?

I have expressed similar sentiments in the past though.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 10:32, closed)

Wiesenthal Foundation?
Never heard of it...
*fear*
( Cawl, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 10:34, closed)

One of the problems with this theory that I can see is that
some people make all the right noises before they have children - I'll ensure they behave well, I'll teach them good manners, I earn enough money so they are not a burden on the state, etc. etc.

But once they produce their spawn they lose all sense of right and wrong.

Middle class parents are often the biggest offenders, but that said it is a recognised problem in places like China where the whole 'Little Prince' syndrome is producing spoilt brats. Maybe a few more unplanned chavs would balance things up.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 10:37, closed)

Well...
Every theory has problems...

*didn't realise everyone would take this so seriously*

*goes back to making jokes about sex with animals*
( Cawl, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 10:43, closed)

interesting points all but I'd like to point something out
"The fact is that the majority of kids and parents aren't bad, nor are they stupid or ignorant."

this is wrong.

The majority of people are both stupid and ignorant.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 11:01, closed)

Vipros
I would say that more are ignorant than stupid. Unfortunately too many seem happy with being a slack-jawed waste of skin & organs and make no attempt to use their faculties, preferring to chimp out in front of daytime TV.

Anyone remember the 'Not All Americans Are Stupid' site from a few years back? For me, it illustrated that you could have the potential IQ of Einstein, but if you were stuck in a parochial mindset and refused to learn then you end up with Dubya as Prez.


(Note to transatlantic B3tans. You are obviously the exception)

(Awaits airstrike)
(osok Rebel without a clue, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 11:10, closed)

Oh yes
I'm with you on this one.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 11:25, closed)

agreed whole heartedly
Yup agreed.

An ex g/f of mine got pregnant (not mine!) at the mere age of 17. Which was far too young. Sodded her life up really. Tho she has a lovely boy now who happens to be my godson. I might post that whole story later. But then her mate also 17 got preggers. Then her other mate decided she wanted to get preggers at 17 because it was the "in thing" and so duly did.

She now also has a child whom shes on the verge of loosing because she cant cope with him and is doing everything wrong.. Like keeping the baby up during the day in the hope that he'll sleep through the night. Yes at 4 weeks old!!!! She also gave him chocolate at 6 weeks old! ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! And thats all i've witness from 2000 miles away (where i now live) im sure theres even more horror stories than that!

Not only that, with it being a process to be able to have kids - such as adoption and those that need IVF. There will be far fewer accidental births. It will help with the population explosion and ensure that the right people have children. Not 17 year old chavettes coz they think its cool and want a council house.

It seems silly where in order to smoke or drink you have to be a certain age. Yet theres no law on when youre allowed to have children. The only barrier on that is a physical one. Which in some cases can be quite young indeed. The responsibilty of a child is far far greater than alcohol or cigarettes. Yes the law is f*cked up.
(Miggyman, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 11:34, closed)

@ancrenne
Partially in jest, but I just wanted to get people talking.
No better way of doing that then dropping something contraversial.

There're some plus points and some minus points to "My Theory".
( Cawl, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 11:43, closed)

At a bit of a tangent, admittedly
One thing that really, really gets on my tits is the phrase "Fell Pregnant". Often uttered by the stereotyped 16 year old chavette.

You don't 'fall' pregnant, it's not like tripping over a kerb. There is a tried and tested, pretty much 100% documented way to get pregnant. Little falling is involved.

Unless it's a throwback to 'fallen woman*' which has lingered in the language?

Etymologists, standby, standby, GO!







*just to point out that I don't agree with the whole concept of getting the chambermaid up the duff and then shipping her off to a mental asylum. Two to Tango and all that.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 11:52, closed)

^^ I'm going to need
Some help with the whole "fallen woman" reference, Urban Dictionary and Wikipedia have failed me.
( Cawl, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:12, closed)

I take it
that you're not Catholic!
(Deskbound You insignificant speck of dust, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:16, closed)

Nope...
Never have been, never will be.
I prefer believable works of fiction to crap like the bible.
( Cawl, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:19, closed)

Fallen women
Have they fallen from the grace of God?

I'm not sure where the phrase comes from but Britney's one. Oh yes.

*EDIT* And I was brought up as a strict RC so I always aspired to be a Fallen Woman.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:21, closed)

...
well i'm ignorant and stupid and think its a great idea...
(wrigglesworth, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:25, closed)

Kaol
I think the Lady of Clucking things has it: 'Fallen from Grace' was the phrase I was thinking of. Fairly common until surprisingly recent times, the Abigail (servant girl) would be shipped off once impregnated, and was seen to be 'of feeble mind' (which was a medical diagnosis) and promptly sectioned. Sprog would be adopted if it survived, mother might never get out. Ever.

The bloke, if of superior class, simply coughed up a few shiny sovereigns. If equally inferior, he quite often legged it to the nearest Army recruiter, took the Shilling, and headed off into the Empire to be shot by a Fuzzy-Wuzzy.

Don't even ask what went on in Ireland even more recently. Suffice to say that Nuns are the Penguins of The Devil.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:32, closed)

@Chickenlady
I think you may be on the mark with the 'fallen from grace' hypothesis. Found this:

"The theme of prostitution and the "fallen woman" (an umbrella term used to describe any women who had sexual intercourse out of wedlock) became a staple feature of mid-Victorian literature and politics. In the writings of Henry Mayhew, Charles Booth and others, prostitution began to be seen as a social problem, rather than just a fact of urban life."

Unrelated, but interesting, the 1851 census showed a 4% swing in the demographic towards women which meant there were roughly 750,000 women who would remain unmarried due to the lack of men. These were referred to as 'Superfluous' or 'redundant' women.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:35, closed)

"Don't even ask what went on in Ireland even more recently."
I'm asking, you set me up for that, didn't you?
( Cawl, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:36, closed)

@Kaol
I think he's referring to things like the Magdelen (sp?) laundries and other such places.

Incidentally, afternoon all, sorry I missed Bert's little story about me and him raping a Kid.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:40, closed)

Althegeordie beats me to it
Magdalene Laundries.

Which is why I'm a smidge suspicious of a sect/religion/playgroup whose Chief Executive is a former Nazi (allegedly), where (allegedly) celibate men (except with children, of course) decide the reproductive strategy for billions of women, which effectively condemns millions to death through it's African policies, and lets both Ruth Kelly and Tony Blair in the door without hitting them repeatedly in the face with a shovel.

Call me Mr Picky.

(multiple allegedly's as I've had enough crap happen in the last week and I don't want any smiting, thankyou. And my watch stopped as well)
(osok Rebel without a clue, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:46, closed)

"The other perk would be that there'd be more money freed up for support of children that are born, due to a drop in numbers, ensuring better schooling, healthcare and quality of life."
Doesn't work like that.

Not sure how it is where you are, but in the area I live, there are less kiddies than there used to be years ago. We have been informed by the council, that due to this, there is no need to have as many schools, or as much money spent on them.
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:53, closed)

Just been reading about the Laundries
Not very nice stuff.
Ms Kaol is Catholic, (kind of), and I've been to church with her quite a few times.
What really gets me is how fucking miserable everyone and everything about Catholicism seems to be.
"Everything's shit, and it YOUR fault."

/rant.

*goes for lunch*
( Cawl, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:58, closed)

@ Kaol
Yes, it can be miserable but that's just the guilt. RCs are allowed to drink a lot of alcohol in order to blot out the guilt. And then say sorry, say five Hail Marys and a Glory Be - all forgotten and you can get back to the sinning. Hooray!

It does also mean that no matter where you go in the world the RC mass is pretty much the same so there is a feeling of belonging.

I did once go to an Anglican service in India and it was the most bizarre and dull thing I've endured in my entire life.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 13:05, closed)

Well,
I'm still not sold on Catholicism.
I don't think it solves anything.

*is pleased to have generated an interesting debate*

*rolls eyes*
( Cawl, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 14:02, closed)

Chickenlady
"I did once go to an Anglican service in India and it was the most bizarre and dull thing I've endured in my entire life."

You've never been to the Passport Office, then?
(osok Rebel without a clue, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 15:38, closed)

I would pass over this comment
if i wasnt seeing an increasing amount of news coverage pushing towards similar ideas, which tends to get people used to the idea, then accept it...

Remember any of these -

'if you seem like shit parents we will drug your kids before they are even born (yeah, really) to make sure they dont become thieving, mugging murdering bastards when they grow up'
or
'Babies are an eco crime!! Abstinence is the new cool!'
'Family in backwardtown are the first to adopt microchips under their skin for the protection of their kids, super awesome!!'

Obviously im over-reacting here.. but yea. Be careful what you wish for and that jazzamatazz
Welcome to China
(Ahoyhoy, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 15:46, closed)

@ Osok
Funnily enough I have been to the passport office and if they'd been playing one of those squeezy piano/organ things (like an accordion but an Indian version that's played on the lap) then there would have been no difference.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 16:10, closed)