Le sange et dans l'arbre
So there I was, in Kenya, on my honeymoon. We were staying in a standard all-inclusive beach resort and we were looking forward to some time on our own. In order to guarantee that solitude, we'd deliberately booked into a hotel that catered almost entirely to French and German tourists. Neither of us spoke a word of either language, and we were left to our own devices as a result.

We'd already made our biggest decision of the honeymoon; which side of the pool to lounge on. One half of the pool was surrounded by sons and daughters of France, whilst Germany's finest occupied the other. We sided with the Germans, possibly due to our shared belief that if Hitler had gassed the French rather than the Jews, no one would have said a fucking word in complaint.

Anyway, one of the evenings entertainment centred around a bunch of zoologists bringing various native flora and fauna for us to coo over. Think "show and tell" but for drunk holidaymakers and you're pretty much there.

I was, is, and always will be an enormous fan of ickle kee-yute creatures, and my definition of "cute" for those purposes extends to "literally any animal ever". So I set about trying to spend some time holding and/or stroking everything I could (every animal that is. And not like that either. Behave.)

By the end of the evening, only one species of snake had escaped my attentions. And it was currently being held by a French chap who was holding court with his friend and 2 women I assume were their partners.

"Excuse moi. Uhh...parlez vouz anglais?"
'Yes, of course, what do you want?'
"Well, I was wondering if I could have a look at that snake you're holding please?"
~gallic shrug of supreme gallicness~
'Sure.'

And he held out the snake to me. Which promptly shrank back into his hands. Bugger. Feeling a little awkward at being snubbed by a cold blooded being, I nervously blurted out:

"Gosh; that snake really likes you."
'Of COURSE it does!'

Cue polite laughs of appreciation from his companions.

~joining in the polite laughter~
"Well, it must be a snake of good taste then."

There followed a pause. There then followed the gentleman saying something to his companions. As I have mentioned, I speak no French. But I do understand tone, posture, and body language. And every one of those aspects screamed "This man has just called you a cunt for the amusement of his friends and his own self-aggrandisement."

Hmmm. Awkward. I'm not one of those tiresome chaps who feels every slur must be met with fists, but neither did I want to let this sorry little fuck get one over on me.

A thought occured.

Smiling sweetly, I nodded and very casually said:
"J'ai comprende francais.

At this point, his face froze into a rictus grin. His companions however started laughing uproariously.

They did not stop laughing for the course of the next 2 minutes. One of them high fived me. I feel I should stress at this point that I am not making this up.

He said something else to me in French which, I assume by the sheepish tone, was an apology. I waved him away, smiling pleasantly as I did so. He gave me the snake. I nodded to him, and walked away with the mocking laughter of his friends ringing in my ears, safe in the knowledge that I had notched up another point in the endless, pointless Anglo-French "fuck you" competition.

And do you what else? I make no apologies for length.
(Light, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 19:05, 180 replies)

le singe est dans l'arbre.
you are eddy izzard aicmfp.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Thu 3 Feb 2011, 19:24, closed)

that's 3 words

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 19:25, closed)

if Hitler had gassed the French rather than the Jews, no one would have said a fucking word
click
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 3 Feb 2011, 19:32, closed)

i agree

( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 4 Feb 2011, 8:36, closed)

Awesome line.
Clicky.
(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 10:40, closed)

Je?
Not Jai?

No?

Or is it perfect tense? I have understood french.
( The_Commander_of_Skips wears his sunglasses at night, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 20:02, closed)

I don't know. Because I don't speak French. :)
(Light, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 20:13, closed)

good comeback!
gets a click.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Thu 3 Feb 2011, 20:39, closed)

Lol
Great reply.

I dont know either, but I think that I remember from GCSE Je to be I and Jai to be I have - Like I have hunger, or I have swam.

Good story though - sorry for being picky.
( The_Commander_of_Skips wears his sunglasses at night, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 20:40, closed)

Yes
Je is I and J'ai is I have, both in having something and having done something (though they sometimes use 'etre' (to be) with some [about 14] verbs in the past perfect - they're all to do with major body movement, falling, climbing, resting, even being born or dying.)

But when most English speakers try to say "je" or "j'ai" (myself definitely included) they end up making the two sound exactly the same.
(Frozen_Banana Shaved against the grain; thoroughly unrewarding., Thu 3 Feb 2011, 21:25, closed)

Eh?
How can "je" and "j'ai" sound the same? Even the least linguistically-minded would say "jeh" and "jay", surely?
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 21:45, closed)

All depends on whether or not you're from Newcastle I suppose.
(Light, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 21:46, closed)

You are a Geordie?
Dude!

Sorry.

STAND CLEAR OF THE CLOSING DOORS, PLEASE!

I love the Toon :)
( The_Commander_of_Skips wears his sunglasses at night, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 21:55, closed)

Well, they'd try
but it's NEVER good enough for the French.






EVER.

(A mute schwa-like 'e' at the end of a word is actually quite rare in English it seems, take for example your 'jeh', wouldn't most people would actually say that as 'jay', eh? Closest I can think is 'er', i.e. weather)
(Frozen_Banana Shaved against the grain; thoroughly unrewarding., Thu 3 Feb 2011, 21:50, closed)

Yeah, bad way of writing it.
But I would hope you don't pronounce "general" as "jayeneral" -- so you can make that noise just fine -- surely most people can say the first sound of almost every word in their native language?
Heck, the beginning of "j'ai" is, in fact, almost identical to the word "je" in its pronunciation.
As mentioned in another comment, I took French almost 20 years ago so I may be wrong, but I have spoken to actual native French speakers recently and they approved of my pronunciation, and I know others who pronounce the words the same as me.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 22:05, closed)

Well, you have a point
but I was mainly saying that's why 'je' and 'j'ai' seem to get confused, to us it's not really such a change in sound.

I think we should put a ciggy in the corner of each schoolkid's mouth in French lessons, to promote good pronunciation and intonation in the language.
(Frozen_Banana Shaved against the grain; thoroughly unrewarding., Thu 3 Feb 2011, 22:11, closed)

I like the ciggy idea.
I'd say give them a glass of red wine too, to slurp while they speak.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 17:16, closed)

I thought that too.
But, thinking about it, "J'ai comprende francais" may end up sounding like you meant to say "I have understood French" or "I've an understanding of French" -- though I'll confess the last time I was taught French was about 20 years ago.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 20:54, closed)

This Anglo salutes you,
*click*
(Sadarse works like Mist condensing mud flaps, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 21:30, closed)

Doesnt Jai comprende francais mean
I have understand french?



They were probably still laughing at you.
( Glovington, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 22:43, closed)

Christ on a bike
Give the guy a break, totally toungue in cheek stuff here born out of friendly rivalry with the French...Good post really. If you can't laugh at the French on B3Ta where can you do it? Went out with a French woman for a long time and generally I like them and their interesting culture (probaly more than English culture) but the banter would definately fly when meeting her male friends. Also people have the right to have a pop at black and Pakastani people, it just means we reserve the right to call them massive cunts, it's context you see.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 9:42, closed)

Well said
Don't quite know what's up with some people.
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:24, closed)

Insulting the French isn't racist
because "French" isn't a race - it's an attitude problem.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:51, closed)

^this^
ha!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 14:49, closed)

So, your point is 'I'll be a prick if I want to, and you can't call me out on it'?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:42, closed)

Lollingtons at the lack of self awareness in that post...
(Light, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 17:33, closed)

I'm speaking from a position of authority here.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 17:35, closed)

Heh. Fair enough.
(Light, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 17:42, closed)

Spot on sir. I do wish we could be a bit more like the French when it comes to kicking off at the government and going on strike if things are shit, it has to be said.

On the other hand, I'd miss the good hygiene if we went TOO French...;)
(Light, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 17:31, closed)

"Awkward. I'm not one of those tiresome chaps who feels every slur must be met with fists, but neither did I want to let this sorry little fuck get one over on me. "
I rather fear you're contradicting yourself here.

Seriously, it's almost an 'I'm not racist but...'
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 16:39, closed)

Badger
Surely it would only be a contradiction if he smacked him in the face? Normally your mantra is don't take the web too seriously, now you seem to be suggesting we should be taking this post more seriously and out him as a dirty racist....Come on admit it, you're just baiting right?
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 17:04, closed)

Seriously, in one Internet Breath he's saying 'I'm not a petty-minded insecure prick', and acts like a petty-minded prick.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 17:35, closed)

Meh. Can't please all of the people all of the time. If you think I was massively insecure, then i was. If you think it was funny, then it was that too. Personally, I just wanted to share a funny story. I've had the added bonus of watching a couple of keyboard warriors read all sorts of absent racism into it, so...win-win I think.
(Light, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 17:41, closed)

Can't please the French any of the time!

( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 17:45, closed)

So why didn't you share a funny story?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 18:06, closed)

you been thread-deleting?
i smell a rat.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 20:44, closed)

No
worries, I just thought you were having a laugh.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:25, closed)

Isn't 'sorry little fuck'
a colloquial term for Frenchman round your way?
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 17:11, closed)

*gasps*
Try replacing 'fuck' with 'black' or 'pakistani' man or WOMAN... are you cringing yet?
( @><|= w0nu!) or cunt to my friends, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 17:28, closed)

Here's the thing that gets me about the whole "try replacing it with BLACK or JEW and see what you think, hm? HM?" self righteousness: isn't it easier and far less reactionary to have the balls to admit "I didn't find it funny"? Y'know, rather than trying to say anyone not sharing your sense of humour must be a racist?

Just a thought. :)
(Light, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 17:35, closed)

I must admit
I was going to try to replace it with 'black' or 'Pakistani'. But to even contemplate replacing it with 'woman'...what sort of a sick monster are you??

P.S I did wonder just how many people could cobble together the phrase "I speak Punjabi" or "I speak Sindhi" in those languages if the protagonists had been Pakistani.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 17:42, closed)

i must admit i would be buggered if i tried!
Punjabi and Sindhi are languages i have very little experience of, but having said that France is only an hour by ferry from my country of residence and i guess the proximity has made cultural familiarity a holiday shoe-in.
or something like that?
;-)
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 21:10, closed)

What sort of ferry?
Earl Granville, or Condor 9? Can you see Flamanville on a good day? If I said freedom for L'Ecrehous would you know what I meant?
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:39, closed)

I'm not racist, but....
fuck Aintree.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:57, closed)

WHAT?! Aintree Harriet *burns*

( @><|= w0nu!) or cunt to my friends, Sat 5 Feb 2011, 11:45, closed)

has someone been thread-deleting up there?^^^
i smell a rat...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 20:43, closed)

Rats tend to smell of digestive biscuits. The tame domestic ones anyway.

...just so you know. God, I must be bored tonight. :|
(Draco Rattus ate all the pies on, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 21:14, closed)

Yeah, some chap who assumed this story was a personal insult to his French wife accused me of being insecure. He seems to have vanished in a puff of logic.
(Light, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 21:23, closed)

was that dr shambolic?
cos some of his stuff's still up there.
pity it's gone cos it was an interesting bit of internet banter.
never mind, whoever it was (sure it was dr s) was being a cock.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 21:27, closed)

That's the fellow. :)

And you're right, it was good fun. Shame it's gone, but there y'go.
(Light, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 21:31, closed)

Just a thought...
Dr S only replies when there's some arsey milage in it.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sat 5 Feb 2011, 21:50, closed)

Oh petal.
You really are insecure, aren't you?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 21:27, closed)

And you're still a dickhead.
Deleting the thread won't change that.
( argyleblanket The man on the roof works for me, Sat 5 Feb 2011, 0:34, closed)

Awwww. Angry poster make shambles sad.
:(
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 5 Feb 2011, 9:13, closed)

So sorry.
I forgot to add in the bit where I say "Oh dear. I seem to have responded to flame bait. But wait - you're still a dickhead" that you deleted from an earlier thread.

Because, you know, you're a dickhead.
( argyleblanket The man on the roof works for me, Sat 5 Feb 2011, 14:26, closed)

Grrrr. Angry internet poster. Grrrrr.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 5 Feb 2011, 14:39, closed)

Ooooh, dickhead internet poster.
Try and come up with something witty and/or interesting to say. Break the habit of a lifetime.

Let's see if you can not be a dickhead for a bit.
( argyleblanket The man on the roof works for me, Sat 5 Feb 2011, 22:14, closed)

Grrrrrrr.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 19:38, closed)

Yep the pathetic Dr. Shambolic
keeps removing posts because he's obviously insecure about how he looks in response to a story he criticised on THE INTERNET (to use one of his ridiculous phrases). He criticised Light for being insecure, unfunny and eventually racist - before systematically deleting threads in case he looked bad. He should certainly know better given his seven and half years at B3TA.
( @><|= w0nu!) or cunt to my friends, Sat 5 Feb 2011, 11:03, closed)

last lulz

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 5 Feb 2011, 14:39, closed)

129 replies
Naturally I skipped to the end

Then I read about someone being sneaky

Interest piqued, I read the rest

FUCK I LOVE B3TA
(lemonadegame, Sat 5 Feb 2011, 16:09, closed)

I think I'll just reply to my own otherwise he'll just delete yet another thread
last lolz indeed... though that might come from your hairy pitted, bum sex fiend of a gailic wife. Ta ra, *ignores*
( @><|= w0nu!) or cunt to my friends, Sat 5 Feb 2011, 19:33, closed)

lolignore

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 5 Feb 2011, 19:52, closed)

Brill!
Good for you on thinking on your feet.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Sat 5 Feb 2011, 19:09, closed)

I have never
seen so many replies before
(whiskas loved by 8 out of 10 cats, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 18:16, closed)

aaaah, but...
you can't see them all...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 7 Feb 2011, 20:29, closed)

Waybackmachine
DOT COM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(lemonadegame, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 21:30, closed)

gotcha!
use the browser back button and copy 'n' paste!
yeah!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 21:38, closed)

You completely pwn the internet.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 22:19, closed)

totaly!
lol
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 22:50, closed)

Let's try this one more time for the really really really very very hard of thinking.
last lulz ←------ (._(. look! here is the joke! shall I google map it for you??

Got it yet?

It's really not as complicated or distressing as you seem to want it to be.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 21:13, closed)

aww, what's wrong dude?
something's got you really upset.
some folk might find all the thread-deleting amusing (is that 3 lots now?) but i'm starting to wonder if you need help.
anyway, i've copied and pasted what i could below...

^noting your edit up there^.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 21:32, closed)

Hahaha.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 22:13, closed)

Awww man.
This is at least four funnier than I was expecting.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 22:15, closed)

I'm totally going to blog this.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 22:16, closed)

make sure you post the blog details here.
or at least on b3ta somewhere.
please.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 22:33, closed)

Do you really think it would help?
I mean ... you can't even click through a profile or grasp a half-arsed last lulz gag ... reading a blog is probably going to test your internet skills beyond their limits. No'ffence like.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 22:39, closed)

Also
last lulz
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 22:42, closed)

okay, what i managed to copy and paste... in reply to dr s telling me i was hurrying to take all this personally.
yeah, i know how it probably looks now, but he went and deleted yet another thread...
who is the mystery dr s?
what are his mystery powers?
...

anyway, here is the deleted thread...

not at all, and please don't take any of the following as smugly as it may sound...

i was replying to s3atard, casting some light on your thread-deleting.
as yet i haven't started a "last laugh" thread so i would suggest you would need to be either delusional or a fool to assume the current qotw applies.
despite what you have chosen to believe i would further suggest that it is not i who have taken all this so personally. as bill hicks commented "just 'cos you believe something don't necessarily make it fucking so".
you deleted the threads, not i.
i would also suggest that you are the "massively insecure" one (to quote your good self) in this post, not i.
deleting threads doesn't make you bad, nor reflect any potential badness in you and it wasn't i who suggested so, it was you.
and i very rarely hurry to do anything, unless it's an actual emergency.

I have never
seen so many replies before
(whiskas loved by 8 out of 10 cats, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 18:16, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
aaaah, but...
you can't see them all...
( blaireau69 hangin' from a white oak tree., Mon 7 Feb 2011, 20:29, Delete, Edit, Reply, I like this!)
Waybackmachine
DOT COM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(lemonadegame, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 21:30, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
Dude. You should totally check this thread every day
just to keep reminding people how you were ticked off by the bad man deleting posts. There's no end to how much dignity you can demonstrate here. It's a goldmine.
( Dr. Shambolic I AM THE STRONGEST CENTAUR, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 22:32, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
you should do likewise.
there's clearly mileage in it for both of us.
( blaireau69 hangin' from a white oak tree., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:17, Delete, Edit, Reply, I like this!)
wow
it is incredible how smug and superior you are coming across as.

But not to judge too soon, why did you delete the thread? I am curious, and if there is a good reason that I've missed then I am perfectly happy to retract my accusations of smugness and apologise.
( s3atard doubled your entendre on, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 13:05, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
cos (s)he's a superior, smug, thread-deleting rat.
with no balls.
imho.

(this may or may not contain traces of truth or opinion).
( blaireau69 hangin' from a white oak tree., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 16:32, Delete, Edit, Reply, I like this!)
The whole "last laugh" thing has completely escaped you in your hurry to take this personally, hasn't it?

( Dr. Shambolic I AM THE STRONGEST CENTAUR, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 19:16, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
not at all, and please don't take any of the following as smugly as it may sound...
i was replying to s3atard, casting some light on your thread-deleting.
as yet i haven't started a "last laugh" thread so i would suggest you would need to be either delusional or a fool to assume the current qotw applies.
despite what you have chosen to believe i would further suggest that it is not i who have taken all this so personally. as bill hicks commented "just 'cos you believe something don't necessarily make it fucking so".
you deleted the threads, not i.
i would also suggest that you are the "massively insecure" one (to quote your good self) in this post, not i.
deleting threads doesn't make you bad, nor reflect any potential badness in you and it wasn't i who suggested so, it was you.
and i very rarely hurry to do anything, unless it's an actual emergency.
( blaireau69 hangin' from a white oak tree., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 20:48, Delete, Edit, Reply, I like this!)

« Go Back
Pages: Latest, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 21:37, closed)

and your reply was "last massive lulz".
and then you deleted yet another thread.
fucking norah, you really are a one trick pony.
get some help.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 22:54, closed)

so here's what dr s deleted..
but it's not, is it? and you don't want it to be, i am sure.
you keep coming back to this thread with sad little responses, don't you?
rarely more than a phrase or two.
i'm not doing much apart from quoting you back to yourself.
by doing so i show you to be the fuckwhit that you are.
it was amusing for a while but now it's starting to feel like abuse.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 22:55, closed)

This is beyond priceless.
It's like watching an ascii nervous breakdown. I thought carlisle men were made of sterner stuff.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 8:22, closed)

so because dr s is having too laughy a time laughing at my lack of internet skillllllz...
have this...



I have never
seen so many replies before
(whiskas loved by 8 out of 10 cats, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 18:16, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
aaaah, but...
you can't see them all...
(I helped save b3ta! blaireau69 hangin' from a white oak tree., Mon 7 Feb 2011, 20:29, Delete, Edit, Reply, I like this!)
Waybackmachine
DOT COM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(lemonadegame, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 21:30, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
gotcha!
use the browser back button and copy 'n' paste!
yeah!
(I helped save b3ta! blaireau69 hangin' from a white oak tree., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 21:38, Delete, Edit, Reply, I like this!)
You completely pwn the internet.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic I AM THE STRONGEST CENTAUR, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 22:19, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
totaly!
lol
(I helped save b3ta! blaireau69 hangin' from a white oak tree., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 22:50, Delete, Edit, Reply, I like this!)
Let's try this one more time for the really really really very very hard of thinking.
last lulz ←------ (._(. look! here is the joke! shall I google map it for you??

Got it yet?

It's really not as complicated or distressing as you seem to want it to be.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic I AM THE STRONGEST CENTAUR, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 21:13, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
aww, what's wrong dude?
something's got you really upset.
some folk might find all the thread-deleting amusing (is that 3 lots now?) but i'm starting to wonder if you need help.
anyway, i've copied and pasted what i could below...

^noting your edit up there^.
(I helped save b3ta! blaireau69 hangin' from a white oak tree., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 21:32, Delete, Edit, Reply, I like this!)
Hahaha.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic I AM THE STRONGEST CENTAUR, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 22:13, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
Awww man.
This is at least four funnier than I was expecting.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic I AM THE STRONGEST CENTAUR, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 22:15, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
I'm totally going to blog this.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic I AM THE STRONGEST CENTAUR, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 22:16, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
make sure you post the blog details here.
or at least on b3ta somewhere.
please.
(I helped save b3ta! blaireau69 hangin' from a white oak tree., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 22:33, Delete, Edit, Reply, I like this!)
Do you really think it would help?
I mean ... you can't even click through a profile or grasp a half-arsed last lulz gag ... reading a blog is probably going to test your internet skills beyond their limits. No'ffence like.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic I AM THE STRONGEST CENTAUR, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 22:39, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
Also
last lulz
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic I AM THE STRONGEST CENTAUR, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 22:42, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)

b69 is truly sorry for being so shit...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 23:08, closed)

Still waiting for any kind of reason from dr s for the repeated thread deletions
as I said before, I generally try to remain civil and not to think ill of people without giving them a chance to explain their actions, however Dr Shambolic has had ample opportunity to give even one decent reason for the deletions and has not done so. Rather his actions and utterances are strongly pointing toward idiocy and twatishness.

/Edit Ok, just re-read through the replies above. Yes, ok, last lulz, I see what you're going for there. Personally I find it a tad rich slagging off the comic value of the OP then offering that shite in response, but hey ho, different strokes and all that. But why the deletions?
( kappynitty doubled your entendre on, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 2:57, closed)

Are you at least enjoying yourself?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:27, closed)

Are we still doing this?
Look Dr S, we are all in awe of your wondrous wit and boundless enthusiasm for trolling, baiting, flaming etc. and you've proved to each and everyone of us how clever you are now bugger off and stop flirting with your own ego. Alternatively, just leave it until right before the question changes add your 'ha ha' and be done with it.

*Hangs own head in shame at being suckered back into this*
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:34, closed)

You're enjoying it too then?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:39, closed)

That'll teach me to go and read previous threads for more replies.
I'll fetch my five year old to continue this with you.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:44, closed)

So you're not enjoying it?
You just came back to score some internet points?

Oh you poor lamb.

:(
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:46, closed)

heh, yeah, there's an element of this
I'm torn/alternating between laughing at him and being disappointed in myself for continuing to engage with this fuckwit. It demeans us all.

I've got 4 pints of Ringwood in me at the mo, so I'll give up on trying to make sense and wait for the next snidey nonsensical shite to make it's inevitable appearance.
( kappynitty doubled your entendre on, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 2:59, closed)

It's only demeaning if you're not enjoying it.
It's OK to admit that you're enjoying it. You can even admit that you fancy me, if you like. The plumber has already followed me over to /talk to say hello. It's hard being irresistible.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 8:16, closed)

gonz posted a link on /ot to a /talk thread in which you posted information about me.
i would rather you didn't do that, thank you.
also you got some of your facts wrong.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:35, closed)

Hehe, that's amazing
It seems like every time I look back at this Dr S has deleted another one.

His given reason for doing so (now deleted, of course) was Because. It's. Funny.

I am chuckling as I type. If he's trying to wind me up, he's failed. If he's trying to amuse me, big tick.

Well done you.
( kappynitty doubled your entendre on, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 23:48, closed)

I knew you were enjoying it.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 8:15, closed)

dr s may well delete another thread, as that is his/her favourite party trick.
just in case here's my reply from ^there^

dear dr s
gonz posted a link on /ot to a /talk thread in which you posted information about me.
i would rather you didn't do that, thank you.
also you got some of your facts wrong.
repeat: please desist from posting information about me (factual or otherwise) on the internet. or anywhere else for that matter.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:40, closed)