After my ex fiancée left me for another man EDIT: Now with added pictures. I don't have a honda Accord.
Scroll down for photos.

Edit: Didn't think people would get so Honda accord about this, anyhoo so pre story. She left me, I was toying with the idea of modeling and what not at the time after being approached by an agent at a party. I thought at first it might be one of those "Get your clothes off in my flat and I'll take pictures" kinda offers. But I decided to persue it on my own, my fiancée at the time told me that I'd never be able to make a living from it and it was a silly idea as I clearly wasn't attractive enough to do it.

I now work as a self employed stripper and male model, I have worked for such big names and Harley Davidson and the impressive Dominos pizza chain. I also have women throwing them selves at me at a regualar interval.
It was quite lonely sometimes though, but I have also recently started seeing someone who gets me entirely, doesn't question my past and just lets me be me.
So everyday I laugh and am filled with that self-righteous smugness.

No knob joke, I'm just awesome.
( Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Sun 6 Feb 2011, 1:27, 30 replies)

wow. just, wow.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 8:25, closed)

*paging AB*

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 12:09, closed)

You drive a Harley Davidson to deliver Dominoes Pizzas?

(__, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 14:30, closed)

durr. he sits naked on harley davidsons modelling dominos pizzas.
while stripping. and talking on the phone to his fabulous girlfriend.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 14:35, closed)

I need your clothes, your shoes and your
Credit Card details.
( The_Commander_of_Skips wears his sunglasses at night, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 15:06, closed)

If only.
I'd love one, but the only free stuff I get from them is clothes designed for an older market.
( Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Sun 6 Feb 2011, 18:12, closed)

Fucking hell.
Is she a supermodel with a Honda Accord full of cocaine?
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 14:35, closed)

Nope a secretary for a university.
She rides a push bike, but makes me lovely home made food.
( Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Sun 6 Feb 2011, 18:11, closed)

why would you care what your ex-fiancee did?
or did you just mean your fiancee left you? If it's after your fiancee left you, you wouldn't refer to her as an ex, because you're using the moment of her leaving as the reference point for everything "after", so at that moment she was still your fiancee, not your ex-fiancee. It wasn't until after she left you that she became your ex-fiancee, but at the moment of leaving, she was still your fiancee. Then she left you. Because you're a twat.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 14:39, closed)

He delivers pizzas naked on a motorbike,
you can't expect him to understand the correct use of English. I laughed like a cunt at your last two sentences though.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 14:43, closed)

Yes she left me because I'm a twat.
A twat that worked 50+ hour weeks to provide a roof over her head and pay her through uni, then when she was finished uni, she somehow fell out of love with me and in love with another man that she had been 'friends' with for a year.
( Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Sun 6 Feb 2011, 17:51, closed)

Even I'm posting, here..

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 6 Feb 2011, 14:46, closed)

Kind of feels like everyone above me has been trolled.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 14:49, closed)

I dunno, if I was trolling like this I'd not use Dominos as an example.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 15:06, closed)

this.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 15:07, closed)

That's why it wouldn't suck anyone in.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 15:47, closed)

i remember when i was a supermodel for dominos pizza.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 14:51, closed)

??
t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ0VG-TmuYHrGoKa_JE3CnFvjB2fajySogwk2lrw-PBspF1BNt1
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 14:59, closed)

Are you really
THE Doveston? So beloved of the Sproutmaster?
( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:13, closed)

For once this QOTW answer is true
and you lot now look like idiots.

Alright Dave?
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 6 Feb 2011, 17:05, closed)

internet posturing cannot be unpostured.
or something.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 17:09, closed)

He's not posturing.
Well, maybe he is a little bit. But he deserves to.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 6 Feb 2011, 17:12, closed)

well, then that's fine.
as long as he's posturing on a harley, holding a pizza.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 17:14, closed)

I'd pay shiny pennies.
*waggles eyebrows*
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 6 Feb 2011, 17:19, closed)

pics or GTFO.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 17:32, closed)

Pictures as requested.
Me on the front of the Sunday Herald Magazine, to the left.


West Coast Harley Davidson Website.


Dominos pizza, was a wedding themed thing they were doing, was in the national press early last year.


And performing at Electric Circus in Edinburgh last year some time.

( Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Sun 6 Feb 2011, 17:38, closed)

well, HELLO.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 17:50, closed)

indeedy

(maggotriddendirtbox fast, feral and sharp as a tack since, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 8:07, closed)

I like the first one
Could have shot better myself.

And now to repeat:

I need your clothes, your shoes and your Credit Card details.
( The_Commander_of_Skips wears his sunglasses at night, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 19:39, closed)

HOW MANY LEOPARDS HAD TO DIE TO MAKE THAT CHAIR?

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 20:20, closed)

like I care
I'm fucking pretty.
( Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Mon 7 Feb 2011, 1:31, closed)

I am aware also i is true
and have seen the Laird in his true glory
( crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 17:32, closed)

And I told you to stop looking in through my bathroom window!

( Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Sun 6 Feb 2011, 17:41, closed)

in his true with his morning
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 6 Feb 2011, 17:44, closed)

fnar fnar.

( Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Sun 6 Feb 2011, 17:46, closed)

Grand ta beautiful, how be thee?

( Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Sun 6 Feb 2011, 17:59, closed)

Amused.
Amused and full of malt loaf and tea.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 6 Feb 2011, 19:17, closed)

I think the doubting /chat people are more to be pitied than scolded.
The ones that work spend their day's wiping old peoples arses, and their evenings on a web forum getting fatter. Of course they're going to find this story unbelievably fantastic.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Mon 7 Feb 2011, 6:59, closed)

fail, and fail again.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 12:11, closed)

What?
All I said is /talk is populated by overweight arse wipers. We all know it’s true.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Mon 7 Feb 2011, 13:31, closed)

I cannot deny this.
janet aye is fat.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 18:57, closed)

Oh dear. I think you just lost the internet.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 7 Feb 2011, 12:13, closed)

yes, but can you turn left?

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 14:23, closed)

Nope, I have to 360.

( Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Mon 7 Feb 2011, 20:58, closed)

Oh dear
I thought this was a joke, way to go posting pictures of yourself, you're on your own here, haha! Just get validation from your mates, don't do it on interweb. Picture a geek and bear in mind a lot of people probably look like that...Never going to go down well but I admire your chutzpah
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:12, closed)

A lot of people on this site are my real life mates.

( Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Mon 7 Feb 2011, 20:59, closed)

mention names or it didn't happen ;)

(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 9:12, closed)

Everyone but you.

( Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 17:17, closed)

Nice
deluded as well as vain.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:42, closed)