twilight
someone told the producers of this sparkly teen angst vampire shite that it was good. not wanting to seem uncool, teenagers perpetuated the lie and spread it.
now, thanks to their vanity and need to fit in with the crowd, this utter shash has become a worldwide "phenomenon" which is practically inescapable.
fuckers.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:49, 38 replies)

i'm pretty sure its escapable
you can't be forced to watch it
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:51, closed)

it's advertised on practically every channel!
it even invades my telly when i'm watching sherlock holmes!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:55, closed)

turn your tv off

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 17:06, closed)

I agree with Quentin wholeheartedly.

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 21:53, closed)

i would
but i promised it i'd keep an eye on it
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 16:08, closed)

I think they got the idea form Harry Potter

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:53, closed)

the whole harry potter thing may be omnipresent
but it doesn't make me want to headbutt the telly into oblivion
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:56, closed)

just wait...
Until the final installment when Blade shows up...
( the dalai farmer always likes tea, but especially on, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:57, closed)

Blade is a massive helmet.
(thorneyvilla, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:10, closed)

I did hear
He has a massive chopper.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:12, closed)

Where as the twilight bunch are the cool kids?
( the dalai farmer always likes tea, but especially on, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 19:18, closed)

Isn't this rant
about 2 years too late?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:00, closed)

i'm a slow burner

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:02, closed)

bu lea
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:13, closed)

I peak early, then doze off,
but that's not important right now.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:19, closed)

shash?

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:18, closed)

onlineslangdictionary.com/meaning-definition-of/shash
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 17:08, closed)

exactly

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 16:08, closed)

Bella looked into his eyes. "I love you, Bongo Cock."
Bongo Cock The Vampire was not wearing any pants or trousers. He made the sound of a donkey while his light-up penis flashed on and off.

Bella offered him a pint of blood in a jug. Bongo Cock grabbed it and poured it all over his blond afro. He brayed like a donkey again, and his penis flew off his body like an untied balloon.

Bella fell into his arms. "I never want to let you go," she sighed, and pissed herself.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:45, closed)

Now this...
....I'd read.
( Evil Bastardo, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:51, closed)

Hahaha
Make it into a novel and I'd read it. :D
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 23:43, closed)

i must learn not to read replies whilst i have a mouthful of coffee

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 16:06, closed)

Fucking Hell..
Brilliant.
(danniekavanagh did nothing constructive on, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 5:17, closed)

Awesome
I want to read more about Bongo cock the vampire. I wonder what happens if i type it into google.
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 10:28, closed)

Chances are you'll find the original source:
thegoldenageofthelowcountries.blogspot.com/2011/09/twilight.html

There's some absolute gold on there.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 17:34, closed)

This should win every week

( Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 17:04, closed)

Twilight's so popular because it caters to teenagers sexual fantasies.

(shezam slouching towards nirvana., Fri 9 Mar 2012, 17:35, closed)

.... of rutting your grandmother. It all makes sense.
(thorneyvilla, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 20:01, closed)

Teenagers fantasise about being locked into an abusive, manipulative relationship with a vampire?
That's a Freudian supposition if ever there was one.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 20:39, closed)

A girl who has two (atractive) gentleman obsessed with her.
Most girls like the idea of being desired. I'm not sure about the abusive part having never read/watched twilight.
(shezam slouching towards nirvana., Fri 9 Mar 2012, 21:33, closed)

yay
DP anyone?
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 23:34, closed)

The only thing in 14 years of marriage
that has made me question my wifes's taste and or sanity.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 9 Mar 2012, 22:29, closed)

Was the fact she married you not evidence enough?
Ho ho!
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 22:41, closed)

Buuuurrrnn!!!

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 9 Mar 2012, 23:42, closed)

O no you di'n't!
*snaps fingers*
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 23:44, closed)

It's Dawson's Creek for emo kids.

( Infidel , shit and wrong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 22:37, closed)

I like this.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 23:21, closed)

^this

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 16:05, closed)