Not me, not a friend, but (sadly) a distant sort-of relation
hooked up fairly recently with a female person of colour*, and in fairly short order, impregnated her**. His dad - an upstanding, well-spoken, pillar-of-the-community type - had a man-to-man chat with the lad and with no hint of shame whatsoever, asked if he really wanted to have a mixed-race child, or whether a termination might be the more sensible route.

I'm fairly thick-skinned and cynical, but I genuinely could not comprehend that level of nasty, small-minded fuckwittery. He'd sooner see his proto-grandchild chopped up and flushed out than see it be born with a skin tone dissimilar to his own***. The prick.


* Edited: originally read, "coloured lass". Sorry about that.
** Edited: originally read, "knocked her up". Sorry about that.
*** Edited: originally read, "a bit dusky". Sorry about that.

Original post preserved here. I hope that this clears things up.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 21:57, 50 replies)

I look handsome, I look smart,
I am walking work of art,
Such a dazzling lass of colours
How I love my lass of many colours

She was red and yellow and green and brown
And scarlet and black and ochre and peach
And ruby and olive and violet and fawn
And lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve
And cream and crimson and silver and rose
And azure and lemon and russet and grey
And purple and white and pink and orange
And red and yellow and green and brown and
Scarlet and black and ochre and peach
And ruby and olive and violet and fawn
And lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve
And cream and crimson and silver and rose
And azure and lemon and russet and grey
And purple and white and pink and orange
And bluuuueeeeeeeeee.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 22:02, closed)

I love your mockney twat story.

( 4Q just lurking, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 22:51, closed)

I love your...
psyche!! smile.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 13:56, closed)

Please be more specific about what colour she was, if it was ginger then I can sort of see his dad's point.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 22:18, closed)

^This, only with much more Gingeism.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 25 Feb 2013, 17:28, closed)

"a coloured lass"?
When you say "fairly recently" do you mean "the 1970s"?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 22:30, closed)

See also "a bit dusky".

( 4Q just lurking, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 22:48, closed)

Fair play to him
He's standing up for someone's right to knock up a coloured lass and have a dusky child. The prick.
(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 22:59, closed)

"Knock up" - a term so offensive that they made a feel-good family film called "Knocked Up". Not pejorative.

"Coloured" - "Person of Color" is recognised as a worthy term. "Coloured" is less of a mouthful. I would contend that they equate to the same thing (and so, presumably, would NAACP). Arguably pejorative if you squint a bit and look at it funny, but certainly not intended as such.

"Lass" - in common usage. No worse than "lad", which I mentioned a little later in the same line. Not pejorative.

"Dusky" - would have been in air quotes if I did such things. In any case, just google it - you seem to be the only person who cares. Not pejorative.

Prick.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 22:48, closed)

No, within the last year. If you're moaning about my use of the word 'coloured' - well, I genuinely mean no offence by it whatsoever, and employ it purely because I've never met the girl in question and thus know neither her exact shade, nor what its correct name might be on the Dulux colour wheel. However, the fact of it being "not white" was reasonably important to the story.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 22:49, closed)

Dulux do "Dusky Wog" in matt emulsion
You should do your research in future.
(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 22:53, closed)

Dulux? You fucking povo.
It's all about Farrow and Ball's "Whiff of Arab" and "not so much black as mucky looking".
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 24 Feb 2013, 19:28, closed)

So you never bothered to ask what colour she was cos they're all the same to you?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 22:55, closed)

He's a blind
You insensitive bastard
(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 23:50, closed)

I think 'non-white' was probably your best bet.
Rather than talking about 'exact shades' and 'colour wheels' and generally sounding like my nan.
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 10:01, closed)

I referred to her as "coloured" - which is, you'll note, not a million miles away from 'non-white' (the only difference being that it discounts #000-style pitch black). Hands were wrung, cretinous condemnation was made, so I pointed out that I couldn't be any more precise if I wanted to (which I wouldn't) - and any less precise would have been meaningless. From this, you seem to have concluded that I habitually go around measuring everyone's tone with a colour wheel. This is not the case.

'People of Color' is the preferred American term. Granted, I'm not American - but if it's fine with them, I'm inclined to view it as fairly neutral. It's supposed to be a unifying, inclusive thing - Wikipedia says,

"People of color was introduced as a preferable replacement to both non-white and minority... because it frames the subject positively; non-white defines people in terms of what they are not (white)."

Perhaps I was wrong to have casually regarded "coloured" and "people of colour" as much the same thing. Again, I offer heartfelt apologies and reassurances as to my intentions to anyone genuinely offended by my words. But the rent-a-mob moaning spastics can go and get fucked.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 0:21, closed)

Hahaha. Splendid. It's like you can almost see success on the horizon but the rest of your body is determined to crash headlong back into failure.
www.b3ta.com/questions/lolbigots/post1873922
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 17:15, closed)

Oh, it must be dull o'clock. How's that 'ignore' working out for you, you tedious twat?
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 17:28, closed)

Relax, calling people 'coloured' doesn't make you sound racist, just incredibly old and out of touch.
Just like everything else that you post.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 0:44, closed)

That's a relief.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 0:50, closed)

The deeper sadness is that she's not even nearly old enough to use her age as an excuse.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:17, closed)

My wife calls herself "coloured"
cos that's the accepted term in her native South Africa. I'm British, so it makes me cringe every time. :)
( teedyay, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 0:54, closed)

I'm still confused as to why People Of Colour is considered any less offensive than 'coloured'. I will never understand these overly PC people.
(Avnas dosh!, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 1:17, closed)

I can see how politics and correctness could be difficult areas for you.
If only there were an easily accessible online resource you could use to lessen your ignorance?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:15, closed)

Chill... no more edits (or apologies)
Let me explain why.
I am a Scot. A typical pale Scot, I get flash burns lighting a cigarette!
My wife is from Rwanda. She calls herself : Black, not a person of colour.
She was, by her own account, pregnant (sometimes "up the duff" which she learnt from me probably). She never thought of herself as being impregnated.
We have two kids and we have never really thought about it, but we agree that dusky is a rather pleasant way to descibe their complexion. We acknowledge that they are mixed race, but that is not a term we use at present, but may have to once they become more inquisitive about the differences between mum and dad.
What I am delighted about is that my kids will be Heterozygote rather than Homozygote... a big plus to the family gene pool.

I hope it all worked out for "sort-of relation".
and please, you do not need to constantly edit an innocent post to suit the trolls.
(bof, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 17:07, closed)

Cheers for that - whilst the edits weren't entirely serious, it's reassuring to hear that I've not inadvertently offended you or your missus. The sort-of relation is getting on fine, so far as I'm aware - and his father has apparently mellowed on the issue a bit, having found it somewhat difficult to dislike his own grandchild.

Apparently, in a thousand years or so humanity will be uniformly coffee-coloured, which should sort out the issue once and for all. Less helpfully, some predict that we'll speciate into elves and morlocks, but hey ho.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 23:09, closed)

This is the shittest thing ever typed into the internet.
You win.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:25, closed)

Ooh, quick, put this in your "Things I Like and Dislike" blog, share it with the world.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:58, closed)

http://www.b3ta.com/questions/lolbigots/post1874761

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 8:14, closed)

It's been my experience
that children of mixed ethnicity tend to be more attractive than those of a single ethnicity. Some of the hottest women I've seen are black/Oriental (that is, Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean, etc), Italian/Irish, Native American/black, Filipino/white, and so on.

In Brazil it's a bit of a bragging point to have as mixed ethnicity as possible. No wonder so many of their women are gorgeous.

Edited to help those with poor reading comprehension.
( Wanderer, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 19:02, closed)

There's no racism in paedophilia then
Which is a refreshing change from the original post
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 0:57, closed)

No, he's saying it's ok to fancy kids if they're mixed race which is INCREDIBLY racist

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 1:05, closed)

Portuguese kids - 1, English children - 0.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 26 Feb 2013, 1:21, closed)

There are registers for people like you

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 1:08, closed)

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:06, closed)

Harold Bishop is a nonce?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:47, closed)

There's no image of Harold Bishop. It's Jonathan King.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 8:51, closed)

Ahh, fair enough.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 26 Feb 2013, 9:51, closed)

^^^Reading comprehension FAIL^^^
Seriously, did you lot actually read what was written? Or did you just jump on the Me Too bandwagon?

Since AB has decided that this is to be featured in his treasured Archive, let us at least include the other thread that you twits jumped into: b3ta.com/questions/lolbigots/post1875896

And I note that he never did reply- apparently his big story is that he knows a link. One made by Rob and the others who own this site. One that was mainly contributed to by the posters here.

Be proud, all.
( Wanderer, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 15:32, closed)

You have to be fair to them. Generally, were you to ask of a parent, "Do you have any children?" - most will answer "Yes", even if said children are now adults. However, I suspect the parents of those in question would answer "No", simply due to long years of crushing embarrassment and unwavering disappointment. So you can understand the confusion.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 16:13, closed)

Hope this helps to clear up your confusion
www.google.com/images?q=children
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 0:59, closed)

And heres a special search for Wanderer
www.google.com/images?q=mixed+race+children
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 1:01, closed)

I'm not sure that highlighting the word 'women' has helped you much, this still reads like you fancy children but you've also drawn attention to the fact that you objectify women although you seem to think that's ok if they're non-white.
You terrible sexist racist nonce
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 0:51, closed)

Ah, the sweet smell of desperation.
Give it up you twit.
( Wanderer, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 6:13, closed)