Well done.
Fuck me, is this it?

You flailing, reposting shitcunts, basting yourselves in the greasy pan-bottom effluent of yesteryear's roasts. You sorry fuckpigs.

And I'm not even having a meltdown yet, that's next week I suppose - when the self congratulatory sweaty arsecracks and their fawning fanclub finally convince me to lose it :-(
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 2:10, 49 replies)

Look, it's like this -
it would seem that Alby's been too busy in his counting house counting all his investment portfolios this week.

My two efforts barely raised a whimper.

Dr. Skagra's usual Time Lord missive seemed a little truncated. But his 2nd post was a bit chunkier.

Tsukemono's couple of posts included a lovely argument about whether welding and electricity can kill you.

Eukanuba bashed out a fucking wicked pun.

Even AB managed to post an original story rather the usual steady stream of snide comments. EDIT: Mind you Dr. Chinaman's reply including a link from reddit sure as fuck trumped any of this weeks posts for grossness.

michel.auron introduced us to the glamorous world of the ski slopes.

"Phantom Shitters" it would seem are causing a backup in cubicle 3!

& apparently janet's severed finger is so well reattached it hasn't stopped her typing her usual hateful invective. So there is that.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 6:38, closed)

haha, what?

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 6:55, closed)

Did you sever your finger?
Was it in the bacon slicer?
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 8:09, closed)

Oh, dear
Sweet Jesus.

Now my diaphragm hurts.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 9:02, closed)

you really are spectacularly retarded.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:29, closed)

Hey Mr Pot. Here's Mr Kettle. He has a grimy arse too

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:30, closed)

I think it's upset because I'm probably going to win this week.
I say 'win'. No-one on here 'wins'. Be smallest loser, maybe.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 9:45, closed)

No, no. Don't say it ain't winning.
Please! It's all I have left!
(Frank Snow, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 10:03, closed)

So your FP stories for the last few weeks
let alone the last few months are?

I can't be arsed collating but if I could I think you'd find the balance is in my favour.

If you can be arsed then feel free to prove me wrong.

Cause that sot of thing in the past has appeared important to you. I'm more than happy to to dig up the links that show that.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 10:23, closed)

oh god just fuck OFF.
why do you keep coming back? i can only assume it's either loneliness or mental illness.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 10:35, closed)

Just ignore the lonely fat mess.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:16, closed)

Isn't that why everyone comes here?

( Infidel , shit and wrong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:24, closed)

Loneliness
at least that's what the voices say
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:47, closed)

I feel less lonely
When i listen to the voices in my head....

(they tell me to burn things)
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:31, closed)

Buuuuurrrrrnn, theeeemm, buuuurrrnnn, theeeemm aaaaallllllll!
Except for the Chicken & Asparagus - we've got to sell them by the weekend.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:35, closed)

and i don't get chance to burn the steak and kidney
They are gone to quickly
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:42, closed)

No.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:44, closed)

:(
b3ta.com/questions/mtfu/post2037358
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:33, closed)

You Sir
appear to be a far better link-bitch than AB has been in the past few months.
Your services may be called upon in the future. Hope you don't mind.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:43, closed)

Hahaha, you're like a more extremely shit retarded version of Legless.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:24, closed)

Hahahaha CLASSIC BALDMONKEY!

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 12 Sep 2013, 7:25, closed)

lol bummer

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 7:48, closed)

You're only saying what everyone else is thinking!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 8:22, closed)

A cup of tea, and a wank.
That's what you need.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 8:52, closed)

The 'Record Breakers' theme tune just got sexy!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 9:18, closed)

who didn't crack one off to Cheryl Baker?
I don't like tea though
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:32, closed)

It usually works, I'll give it a go.

( Infidel , shit and wrong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 10:03, closed)

al
right
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 9:02, closed)

YOU OWN IT NOW SHITPANTS

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 12 Sep 2013, 9:07, closed)

STAY ABOUT FROM MY BINS

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 12 Sep 2013, 9:07, closed)

"Look Ma, a pointless post!"

(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 9:24, closed)

Help me!
I can't escape!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 9:58, closed)

Oh, you!
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:39, closed)

this is how qotw ends
this is how qotw ends
this is how qotw ends
not with a bang but a whimper
(Shimrod, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 9:17, closed)

eliotlols

(McChinaman banned, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 9:23, closed)

I wondered if anyone would recognize it and comment. Didn't have a lot of confidence in it, so I was pleasantly surprised.
(Shimrod, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 10:47, closed)

This can be a surprisingly highbrow board, at times.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 10:50, closed)

eat my plops, bumlord

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:12, closed)

Shanti shanti shanti

(McChinaman banned, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:17, closed)

He's number 7 in my top 10

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:45, closed)

*something about shoving Keats up girls' fannies
whilst bashing the Percy Bysshe*
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:20, closed)

Poor ol' Percy.
Imagine how he must have felt when his wife's only book became such a hit that it has now become an integral part of culture.
(Shimrod, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:43, closed)

It's death's twilight kingdom round 'ere old chap.

( Infidel , shit and wrong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:04, closed)

I know. I can hear the wind blowing the tumbleweeds through the desolate remnants, with faint echoes in the distance as the cretinous plodders lope along, their incontinence dribbling shit over everything they pass as they drool and bellow at one another, oblivious to their own stench...

It's no wonder the place has become so pathetic.
(Shimrod, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:41, closed)

I like this!

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 10:48, closed)

I suppose it's too late for me to submit a poo story now.

( Infidel , shit and wrong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:00, closed)

There's probably still time to accidentally piss in your own mouth.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:13, closed)

I would, but my foot is already in there.

( Infidel , shit and wrong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:18, closed)

aim for the nose then

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:33, closed)