Tonight
Tonight I’m going to the pub, That’s pretty normal right?

Well, it would be except I’m going for a Nintendo DS meetup, that’s right, instead of dancing and meeting girls I’ll be playing Tetris and Mario Kart!

nintendods.meetup.com/7/ if any Londoners want to come along.
(bill, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 14:19, Reply)

I'm bad, but Nigel was worse.
At college we all experimented with shedding our geeky images in a gangly, slightly spotty way. I for example, became a goth, dressed in black, listened to The Sisters Of Mercy, and Fields of the Nephilim, and scarcely removed my darkened John Lennon style sunglasses, except to pop the head of a particularly purulent and juicy spot.

But compared to Nigel I was the coolest kid in school.

Nigel had acne vulgaris so badly he looked as though he'd only just survived a fight with an enraged wild cat. Ooze seeped from every pore, his hair looked as though he had washed it in butter, and his teeth were so large and prosaic, druids could use them as a place of worship.

I think he might've had asbergers or ADHD or something but this was the 1980s before weirdoes were given these illnesses to hide behind.

On one occasion he developed a liking for a particularly attractive girl in our class. She was a particularly radiant beauty, with flowing locks of golden hair, and a body that would've made a monk kick in a stained glass window.

Nigel decided he was going to ask her out, and falteringly, he half walked, half stumbled up to her in the senior common room, reeking of TCP and told her he loved her and would she like to accompany him to (and I quote) a dining establishment of her choice to partake of some comestibles?

I'm amazed my trousers stayed dry that day. I actually laughed so hard I thought I'd had a stroke.

Sadly she didnt find it as amusing and his confidence in the sphere of women was pushed back by several decades that day.

He once came to college in a T-Shirt which said "Wang" on the front. To him it was a corporate logo, to us it was a self-proclamation.

On another occasion he came to college wearing a beanie cap with a propellor on the top.. not many people laughed at that one, I think we were becoming more concerned for his mental health by then.

Nigel hung out with other nerds, as is their want, but even with exceptionally geeky peers, he still seemed to be way off the scale, choosing in the Upper Sixth to wear shorts for the entire year, even through one of the coldest winters the East Of England had ever seen.
After that I can safely say, he cannot possibly have sired any children.
(Vic Flange, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 14:01, 6 replies)

I've said before...
...that my most accurate classification is Stealth Geek. Linky - describes me to a tee :)
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 13:16, 2 replies)

I could talk about a website I made
Featuring original material by all my geeky-fan-boy faves, which I actually got to commission and edit. Sadly to do so would reveal my secret identity.
( flatfrog Staring vacantly into space, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 13:07, Reply)

today's new level of nerdiness
I've just read this week's b3ta newsletter. There's a bit in it about HDR photography. I've been working on HDR/tone mapping research since about 2001. This makes me a) very boring and b) completely nerdish in that I felt the need to give feedback to the newsletter pointing out that the topic is incredibly passé in the computer graphics world.

And it's Saturday. And I'm on b3ta.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 12:25, 9 replies)

But I'm a *retro* geek so it's OK....right?
Ok..I've owned (and only had to sell due to lack of space :( )A Spectrum ZX+, Commodore VIC-20, Commodore 64, Amiga 1200, NES, Super NES, Master System, Megadrive, Game Gear, Gameboy (all), many, many Game and Watch (sold those for £££!), Nintendo 64, Neo Geo, Wonderswan, PONG, Atari 2600, BBC Micro, Acorn, Apple Macintosh IIi and a PSION 3c.

The ringtone for my phone is the Monkey Island 1 theme tune (go on, hum it, if you're a geek, you know it).

I have a Mario 3 Game Watch which plays the NES Mario 3 tune as the alarm. Best watch ever.

I am looking for a house, and I want a basement I can turn into an arcade with proper stand-up arcade machines (and a MAME one too..again, if you don't have to Google MAME, welcome to the club)

I play emulated games (only) on my MacBook, mobile and PDA. I have SCUMMVM on my Nintendo DS.

The only programming languages I know are BASIC and HTML and I just don't understand why better graphics = better gameplay.

I am 25 and female. I just got engaged to my lovely partner of 5 years, and luckily, he's a Stargate-watching computer-programming telecoms manager!
(Northern Lovely, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 11:11, 2 replies)

Amstrad CPC 6128
My wife thinks I sold it on eBay

It's up in the loft, and when i need a bit of 'me' time, i'll pop upstairs and play a bit of Breakthrough or Spindizzy or do a bit of coding in Basic.

In fact, i might just do that now!
( ogwen69 has returned from Reddit, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 11:06, 1 reply)

Oh, and as it is mentionned in other posts, Mornington Crescent anyone?
I'll start us off with a cheeky Monument.

(Finsbury rules, second edition)
( ogwen69 has returned from Reddit, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 11:04, 14 replies)

Well, other than the fact it is saturday morning and I am on QOTW
I was awoken at about 9am this morning by a text from the wife who has just landed in spain, and what did i do?

Open up the DS and the Laptop and simultaneously play miniclips Canyon Defense (sic) and Sim City on the DS

Do i win?

Oh, and I've got my transformers T shirt on.
( ogwen69 has returned from Reddit, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 10:50, 1 reply)

My phone wallpaper
Is of an X-ray I took. Admittedly it's a pretty cool one of a dog giving birth and it looks like one of the puppies is doing a mexican wave.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 10:25, 2 replies)

I don't get to tell these jokes to many people
Most people just stare at me blankly.
I'm sure you'll actually understand them, and that makes me happy.


- There are 10 types of people. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.



Q. What's got feathers and goes "pieces of seven, pieces of seven"??
A. A parroty error.



Other geek claims, while we're here? I'm the only female technology manager in my company, I have a degree in computer science and I've forgotten more programming languages than most people ever learn. And I have a mighty fine collection of test card music. And it all makes me happy.
( biscuitbiscuit is in ur garden, watering ur plantz, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 10:02, 2 replies)

Warhammer
A few years back I really got into warhammer with the little plastic models. Magazines, special edition models, a good friday was painting a little model.





feel a bit silly now im £600 down and have some plastic dwarfs to show for it
(Joe Guevara is well known for stealing your biscuits, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 10:00, 2 replies)

I've worked in the technology sector for 15 years.
So I've had ample time to adopt a cornucopia of nerdy modus vivendi the nerdiest of which are listed below.

1. I saw a car bumper sticker recently which read "users are losers" and I had no idea it was referring to drugs.
2. The company I work for has a dress down day on Friday, the T-Shirt I wore had the slogan "You had me at EHLO" on the front.
3. I heard a joke about UNIX the other day and laughed until my bladder gave way.
4. My car has so many gadgets in it that it resembles Darth Vader's bathroom, and it takes me a full 20 minutes to remove them all whenever I leave the car unattended, which is particularly inconvenient when you're just popping into the co-op for some more OXY cream.
5. The last and only sexual congress I had with a member of the female sex was when I ejaculated across the face of Debbie from Milton Keynes in Readers Wives.
6. I think socks and sandals are airy and comfortable.
7. I wear glasses so thick it takes light a full 3 seconds to penetrate them. I am, therefore a very slow driver.

More Later.........
(Vic Flange, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 9:54, 2 replies)

Um ... quite nerdy
Where do I start?

Ok, I wrote RPGs. Professionally. For a decade. And I'm proud of it. Oh, and I was instrumental in bringing M:tG to the UK.

I could go on, but I think that's enough to get on with.

Geek Chic and proud.
(jaredearle There is no spork., Sat 8 Mar 2008, 9:33, 2 replies)

Music
I like that I'm a geek and a fit fangirl. I like that I turn heads, and not because I have the girth of a small planet. I've had my share of scream fights about Star Wars, I squee like an idiot if I find mouth charts and model sheets for my favorite animated series, and I make the annual trek to San Diego for Comic Con. I have outside interests and ambitions, my life doesn't revolve around the drama of the internet, but I'd be a liar if I didn't admit I have moments that make 'Father Ted's Tom look like a member of Mensa.

After two days of downloading the music, I have decided I am no longer allowed to listen to the score of 'Transformers' when I'm driving. Otherwise, I will blast the Decepticons' theme, imagine I am a car version of Starscream* on my way to fight Bumblebee, and drive faster than the paparazzi chasing after Lady Di. All with a big fuck-off evil grin on my face.

I have that much of a musical!boner for Hans Zimmer and in this case, Steve Jablonsky.

And imagining I'm a giant robot from space.

So, if you see a chesty, long-haired brunette booking it down the 405, giggling evilly to herself, don't worry. I need to take down that banana colored bug before I worry about you, fleshling.

Apologies for length. Michael Bay doesn't believe in mass shifting.

*Yes, I know he doesn't turn into that, but my car is grey and it's that or I have to pretend I'm driving Jazz, which is lamerz.
(DeadCats, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 8:49, Reply)

Ok! sort of on topic...
Q. How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker was getting for his birthday.





A. He felt his presents.
( girlinthehole, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 8:38, 2 replies)

a bit on the nerd side perhaps?
It is 10pm on a Friday night........and I'm reading/replying to this QOTW.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Sat 8 Mar 2008, 4:06, Reply)

I had a think about it, and I think Douglas Adams was wrong
#include "stdafx.h"
#include <string>
#include <iostream>
using namespace std;
int _tmain(int argc, _TCHAR* argv[])
{string s[3][34];s[1][13]="h";s[2][16]=" ";s[2][7]="i";s[0][24]="o";s[1][1]="o";s[0][16]="d";s[2][21]="p";
s[2][13]="i";s[0][0]="e";s[2][32]=" ";s[2][19]="e";s[2][23]="g";s[1][22]=" ";s[2][25]="t";s[1][17]="t";
s[1][26]=" ";s[1][4]="o";s[0][6]=" ";s[2][24]=" ";s[1][15]="i";s[1][3]="i";s[0][22]="c";s[0][21]="h";s[2][4]=" ";
s[0][28]="i";s[2][6]="s";s[1][14]="u";s[2][31]="a";s[0][30]="g";s[0][19]="n";s[1][9]="r";s[0][14]="g";
s[2][15]="s";s[1][20]="m";s[0][31]="n";s[2][33]="T";s[0][29]="f";s[1][31]="i";s[0][1]=" ";s[0][18]=" ";
s[0][4]="n";s[0][5]="o";s[0][7]="s";s[0][3]="l";s[0][9]="o";s[1][10]="g";s[2][17]="h";s[1][33]="e";
s[2][1]="g";s[1][27]="i";s[1][8]="n";s[0][11]="i";s[2][9]=" ";s[0][20]="o";s[0][12]="s";s[0][17]="a";
s[1][7]="m";s[1][28]="f";s[0][27]=" ";s[1][12]=" ";s[2][20]="n";s[1][32]="e";s[0][15]="t";s[2][8]="g";
s[2][10]="i";s[2][0]="n";s[2][30]="n";s[0][33]="h";s[2][12]="e";s[2][29]="o";s[2][3]="n";s[2][11]="l";
s[1][30]=" ";s[0][13]="s";s[0][25]="h";s[0][8]="a";s[1][16]="i";s[0][10]="n";s[1][21]="e";s[1][19]="o";
s[1][18]="t";s[0][2]="i";s[1][24]="r";s[2][26]="s";s[0][32]="m";s[2][22]="i";s[1][11]="v";s[2][2]="v";
s[1][29]=" ";s[0][26]=":";s[1][6]="f";s[2][18]="n";s[1][5]="m";s[1][0]="s";s[2][14]="n";s[1][2]="n";
s[2][27]="e";s[0][23]="a";s[2][5]="r";s[1][23]="n";s[1][25]="e";s[2][28]="l";
for(int i=(sizeof(s[0])/sizeof(s[0][0]))-1;i>=0;i--)
{cout<<s[2][i]<<s[0][i]<<s[1][i];}
return 0;}
(Cuthbert Annihilator, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 3:38, 5 replies)

Stamps
I used to collect stamps, then put them in colour order according to size.
(Kathleen, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 3:12, Reply)

Not very nerdy in the grand scheme of things but...
I have 2 PC's, and 4 Monitors in my bedroom, run Fibre Optic Gigabit to my main PC, have a Cisco 7970 IP Phone on the wall, a PBX in the house, and two broadband connections.
Of course I do run an web hosting company, so it's not all bad news, and I carry two mobile phones (a e70 and a 6820, but with fold out qwerty keyboards because I hate txt spk).
Oh and I buy Lego Technic Models now I'm older and have more disposable income... I figure that I sold all my lego to buy my first PC, and it's time it paid me back...
Ok, and I've just remembered about the large quantity of Books that I hoard, all obsessivley ordered by Author, and size... and they take up all the space on my shelves apart from the DVD's...
Edit2: And I've remembered a nerdier moment... I mourned the loss of Douglas Adams more than the death of my own father!
( Alex Save a Tree, Eat a Beaver!, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 2:37, 3 replies)

A geek from the old school here
When I was young watched 'Pages From Ceefax' and really enjoyed it and liked the music.

Went on to buy two CDs of testcard music.

Enjoyed creating dummy loaders on the Spectrum just to annoying the kids and shop assistants at Boots, WH Smiths etc.

I buy lots of game music CDs (mainly Sega as I love their stuff) and my faves are S.S.T. Band Live!, A Clockwork Knight and anything by Yoko Kanno, especially the Napple Tale CD.

Have a large collection of computer programmes ranging from The Computer Office and Micro Live to Database and 4 Computer Buffs.

My taste in music on the whole is from the forgotten early 80s with my favourite bands being The Pinkees, Dekka Danse, Music For Pleasure and Mezzofore.

Have a Pac-man pillowcase, watch, mugs, tea tray and the complete cartoon series.

Once spent a month converting and editing C64 music into MP3s just so I could listen to them on my MP3 player every time I went out somewhere.

Watch programs download as I enoy seeing the percentage bar go to 100%.

Carried on using both BBSs and the Internet until the phone bills become too expensive.


Length? about 111 inches.
(Chuckman, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 2:08, 5 replies)

Without further ado, I reveal...
The ZX81 fridge magnet.



Hard disk magnet taped inside the case, job's a good'un.
(Generator cannot be named for legal reasons, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 2:05, 3 replies)

Geek stories?
I'm a systems analyst. By choice.
( S tr app y, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 1:10, Reply)

flash nerd
Not the Macromedia stuff: I mean that my nerdhood comes in flashes, bursts of nerdiness punctuating the normality.
- at age 10, having way too much fun reading about cosmology: galaxies, red shift, black holes, the Big Bang, and all the Big stuff that makes Religion look like a pale imitation of ancent ritual.
- on ZX Spectrum, my finest hour was a program to create and manage system fonts, including all the POKES needed to make them work. On BBC Micro I wrote a "sequencer" package for music, like UMI but much more BASIC. (First song: "Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)"
- work stuff in Storage support: SCSI, Fibre Channel, Clustering, RAID, drivers, iSCSI.
- bits and pieces, now and then: batch programming, Python, PHP, VB (especially Excel macros), Mathematica, Linux shell scripts...

Now, however, after years of Windows, badly-designed hardware, buggy software, virtual everything, and FUCKING customers... I've given up, and have started university to study Structural Engineering. It was time to get real, and it doesn't get more real than a lump of structural steel. 8-)
( bnt what, me worry?, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 0:58, Reply)

Theres been lots of binary posts..
But if anyone knows what 001100111011000111100 means then you will win a prize of utter geekness and nerdity. If you are dieing for the answer then PM me.

I will keep checking back the post and might post clues. But this is b3ta and I expect someone to get the answer right away!
(Miggyman, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 0:50, 12 replies)

My friend and I have both recently acquired new phones...
...both of which are running Symbian 60 3rd edition & have bluetooth and wifi.

The race is now on to write a Python script that will:

a) Find open wifi access points in a given area.
b) Mark that area on a map complete with SSID.
c) (for extra credit) Upload it to one of our various web servers.

I don't expect this to get any clicks at all, but my geek-cock is definitely bigger than average. Come and get it, ladies...
(Generator cannot be named for legal reasons, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 0:50, 1 reply)

Gygax
is very sad but I loved D+D and AD+D im a grown-up now but i still love it. thats y i now play wow
( Evil_Ted is collecting wooden giblets, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 0:47, Reply)

My boyfriend is a geek too (we'd spoil another couple)
I've mentioned my worrying tendency to cry at cartoons and meeting Terry Pratchett further down, but I reckon Mr Claireyfairy (*waves to eddieheadache*) probably takes the nerd biscuit over me (a Gold Bar perhaps?).

Case for the prosecution:

He's a microbiologist. He likes bacteria. He talks about it quite a bit, like the Yakult man (the fit Tarquin one, thankfully). Actually, he's quite cross with Yakult at the moment because they published a paper saying it was OK to give the spunky drink to recovering alcoholics, but he says the bacteria growth from Yakult would do more harm than good. I'm paraphrasing, because I didn't understand half of it and phrases like "opportunistic pathogens" were used.

Don't get him started on MRSA.

He has played Magic: The Gathering and D&D and Cthulu and seems quite proud of the fact. Oh and Atmosfear.

He loves his FIFA games and is still playing the 08 version on a nightly basis, 18 months after he got it. He's taking Rochdale all the way to the top at the moment, having already done so with Sheffield United. He does his own commentary on the matches sometimes. That's probably just a male thing though.

28 Days Later scares the crap out of him because "it could happen" (the microbiology thing again).

He knows all the songs from all the episodes from The Simpsons, has a selection of the albums and series 1-10 on DVD. His favourite Simpsons episode is the one where Homer thinks Bart is gay :)

He has all the Red Dwarf VHS tapes and owns a Davy Crockett hat.

Our DVD rental list has things like "Garth Marenghi's Dark Place", "Man To Man With Dean Learner", "Muse - Hullabaloo - Live At The Zenith Paris", "Troll 2", "Horror Of The Blood Monsters", "Brain of Blood" and "Brewster's Millions" on it.

Right now, he's carefully selecting the Miis that look the most like Plato to vote for in the Mii contest on his Wii (wireless internet, obviously). He keeps asking me if I think they look enough like Plato. They all look the same to me!

He's a geek and I love him :)
(claireyfairy There's a smell in here that will outlast religion, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 0:45, 2 replies)

This could be more sheer stupidity than nerdiness but...
I have been known on several occasions to attempt to pick things up on my desk with my cursor, and have got rather annoyed when my attempts to do so have inevitably failed.
( Furness, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 0:05, Reply)