My friend and I stupidly decided to drink drive home from Cardiff to Birmingham
Me behind the wheel we managed to get as far as Monmouth, when I was pulled over by a police car, then breathalysed and arrested.

The police officer was a really decent bloke, informed me we'd have about a half an hour wait for a van to pick me up, my mate asked if he could jump in the van with me so as we were in the middle of know where, copper said that'd be fine.

So, the van tuned up i was put in the back with handcuffs on and my mate was put in there with me to keep me company on the 30 min drive to newport police station, my friend then told me, as soon as you get in to the station tell them that he (my mate) had a bottle of vodka on him and we've been drinking it on the way to the station, i said it'd never work, he said just do it and i'll defo get off with it.

we arrived at the station, they let my mate out at the front then drove me round the back in to the custody suite, i was booked in then taken in to the room with the testing machine, when i got in there i was asked a series of questions, one of them being have you had a drink in the last hour, bearing in my mind i'd been in the company of the police officer for around an hour and a half, i said yes, my mate had a bottle vodka on him and we were drinking it on the way to the station, my defense was i thought i was fucked so didn't think it could get any worse, now the copper is looking extremely pissed off, he leaves me and goes to see my mate who's waiting in the reception for me, he ask my mate who confirms the vodka in the van story, he comes back to me, reads the riot act to me then bails me, turns out my mate was right as i got a call about 2 weeks later saying that they were taking no further action. apparently the roadside test is just an indication and it's the machine at the station is what is used as evidence.
(serge, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 16:12, 54 replies)

Oh dear.
*stands back and waits for the onslaught this post deserves*
(King Nightmare, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 16:16, closed)

We all make mistakes
not proud of it, probably done it 3 times in 18 years of driving, just glad i got off with it really, didn't deserve to, but there you go!
(serge, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 16:24, closed)

Three times?
That's a habit, that is.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 16:29, closed)

No, that's a LADY

(serge, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 16:45, closed)

Three times?
I'm not generally serious on here, but no-one has said this clearly enough yet.

You should be fucking ashamed of yourself.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who had to read this gleeful little anecdote who's lost someone because of some arrogant, selfish prick who decided to drive drunk.

Fuck you. Seriously. Fuck you.
(jennymnemonic, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 0:25, closed)

This
puts my reply to shame.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 7:58, closed)

This. ^
"I did it once and I'm sorry" OK, we all make mistakes.

"Then I did it twice more anyway" OK, you're a cunt.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 8:53, closed)

Kuck off
Bones.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 31 Jan 2012, 13:04, closed)

I'm genuinely sorry for your loss.
And if the post seems gleefull, then i'm sorry and i can assure you it wasn't meant too, somewhere in this thread i have actually said i didn't deserve to get off with it, but fortunately for me i did, i'm not embarrassed to say i'm glad i got off with it either.

I'm not trying to be big and clever about it, i saw a topic and thought my story was slightly on topic.

Yes i'm a cunt for drink driving, i have never done it since and have no intentions of doing it again.
(serge, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 9:11, closed)

Contrition goes a long way.
Still, there's not much to get upset about, this week (even Albert's effort was uncharacteristically weak), so:

What a despicable cunt! INTERNET OUTRAGE!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 16:29, closed)

Needs more unadulterated child's piss.
also

GET IN THE BACK OF THE VAN
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 16:29, closed)

Hmm.
1) They wouldn't put you in a van with your mate, having arrested you.
2) Anyone going in the back of a van is searched. Nobody would have been allowed in there with a bottle of vodka.
3) So what happened when the copper asked your mate to show him the bottle of vodka?

Nah, not this time.

You should have said you asked for a urine test, and nicked the samples. then you could have said you were done for drink driving, and taking the piss.
(username failed moderation, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 16:30, closed)

OK.
I really am upset, now.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 16:31, closed)

O knoa, rite?
So you should be.
(username failed moderation, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 16:32, closed)

Yeah, i made it up!?!?!
The whole reason i got off with it was because they never checked him before he got in, he realised it thus come up with the idea, so they massively fucked up which resulted in me getting off with it, my mate said he chucked the bottle
(serge, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 16:36, closed)

You're not
doing yourself any favours here.

Run, while you still can. Or delete this pile of wank
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 16:43, closed)

*Looks at the QOTW topic*
Sure it's relevant to the topic?
(serge, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 16:44, closed)

The question was 'I should have been arrested' I.e weren't.
But you were, so not relevant.
(Kip, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 17:48, closed)

Ooh
Harsh nitpick
(Rise and Fall of the Atomic Cabbage Haven't you heard of suspension of disbelief?, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 2:49, closed)

Everyone else went all honda accord
I thought I'd keep it simple
(Kip, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:30, closed)

Ok, Sir, now where did you chuck this bottle?
attempting to pervert the course of justice + conspiracy to attempt to pervert the course of justice.
(speedevil, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:09, closed)

Fuck me
He's said he knows it was wrong. HE didn't cause the demise of anyone and I'm sure he won't do it again. Yes it's bad but don't read any of the other posts today. They are all about ...breaking the law and getting away with it when you should have been nicked and for what ever reason you weren't. If no-one posted it would be even quieter than it actually is.
(Wagane, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 0:07, closed)

Or you could, y'know, point out the really obvious flaw.
That being that the lower of the two readings is the one you are prosecuted on. So drinking after the breath test but before the blood test would be approximately as much use as a chocolate fireguard in terms of a legal defence.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 16:48, closed)

No,
It's the lower of two readings, taken one after the other at the station.

Blood tests are not used unless there is a medical reason preventing a breath test.

The roadside test isn't evidential at all. It's not actually legally required, you can be arrested without it, if the copper has reasonable grounds to think you're drunk anyway.
(username failed moderation, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 16:52, closed)

I'm not certain this is true actually but I'll take your word for it
but, nonetheless, there are almost no circumstances where "I drank after I drove" can work as a legal defence because if you have been arrested on suspicion of drink driving and claim you drank after driving, the onus is on you to prove that means you weren't over the limit, rather than the police to prove that you were.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 16:59, closed)

You might get away with it
if you have the opportunity - if you crash your car, and down half a bottle of scotch while you're waiting for the police to arrive, maybe you'd be able to wangle it.

But if you're arrested for drink driving, you won't get the opportunity. You'll be searched, taken to the station, and breathalysed. You're not even allowed to take a piss or smoke before that happens.

Don't you watch road wars?
(username failed moderation, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 17:03, closed)

there was a fairly high profile case recently
where that was tried and spectacularly failed (the scenario you present)

there's bucketloads of precedent as well, so I'd say you'd have no chance in any case.

I'm not disputing your points, only that even if what the OP says actually happened, the police would still have prosecuted successfully.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 17:07, closed)

I reckon drink driving laws
have been around for long enough for the police to have got pretty much every loophole covered. I think you're right.

Having said that, if the coppers were so stunningly inept as to allow a mate with a hidden bottle of vodka to travel in the van with him . . . they'd be in far more shit than the driver.
(username failed moderation, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 17:17, closed)

Exactly why I got away with it
They fucked up, and the roadside test is only an indicator, the breath test in the station is what counts, they royally fucked up the moment they let my mate in with me without checking him, not in the habit I've making bullshit stories up, just thought it was slightly relevant to the qotw
(serge, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:16, closed)

No no no.
It didn't happen.

You were probably really drunk, riding your rally chopper, and just imagined it.
(username failed moderation, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 9:25, closed)

A friend of mine
Crashed his car into a tree whilst he was over the limit, and phoned the police about 20 mins after. When they arrived he told them he'd drank a bottle of wine to calm his nerves whilst he was waiting. He was let off with a caution as no one was hurt.

I thought he was full of shit, but that's his story.
( Regger, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 11:33, closed)

There's plenty of precendents for this defence, though it's more along the lines of being arreseted after leaving the scene of an accident, i.e. car is found crashed or reported as not having stopped at an accident and person is arrested later - if they claim that they have had a drink since the accident - "I was pretty shaken up officer, so I had a couple of large whisky's to settle my nerves" - there's not a lot that the cops can do other than charging them for not stopping or leaving the scene of a crime.

As far as this story goes, I (a) can't really believe it because there's no chance that somebody would be let in the back of the van with somebody arrested for drink driving; and (b) drink driving cunt.
( Hunter Stockton was murdered by a bicycle wielding axolotl,.,.,.,., Tue 31 Jan 2012, 12:38, closed)

none of those precedents involve them actually having evidence that you were over the limit though
unlike this case.

and, to be fair, in the scneario you mention above, they'll just do you for leaving the scence of an accident, and you'll get a nice tidy year ban for that. Police = strangely not mostly stupid. For recent evidence, see Bannan, Barry, estwhile of this Scotch parish, now playing for Aston Villa.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:46, closed)

unlikely
i crashed my car on my way to work one morning.
i had no phone at the time, so i couldn't call anyone and report the accident, so i flagged another car down and got a lift home.

my wife drove me back a little while later, at which point the police had arrived and they didn't say anything about me leaving the scene, and only expressed surprise that I wasn't injured in any way
( real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 22:55, closed)

That's because there's no requirement for you to report an accident if nobody's been hurt (apart from the driver) or nothing's been damaged (apart from the car).

You only need to report a single vehicle accident if you've:

Damaged roadside property of some permeance (if you've hit a parked car, you need to either exchange details or report it as soon as you can, but no later than 24hrs)
Caused injury to a person other than the driver
Killed or injured an animal (Dog, cow, sheep, horse, donkey)

And then only if there is nobody about with whom to exchange details.
( multijoy, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 19:38, closed)

i knocked down a lamp post and killed tree

( real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 2:46, closed)

Hmmmm, all police always follow the rules to the letter,
and are completely infallible. In fact, no policeman has ever made a mistake in the history of the universe.

You see what's wrong with this post. It's bollocks. You have to give the OP the benefit of the doubt here.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 17:48, closed)

You must...
...never have been to Monmouth. The Police were probably just glad they had something to do.
(Megamoss, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 4:56, closed)

And this is why the police should be allowed to beat suspects with knotted wire before taking them to the station.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 16:31, closed)

finaly a post from the bad dr that i do agree with

( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 8:17, closed)

I don't.
You must be some sort of dick.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 9:03, closed)

Shit coppers or you're making it up.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 17:32, closed)

Shit coppers

(serge, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:18, closed)

no youn are

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:38, closed)

i would like to just say that
for drink driving and admitting to a least two more incidents , that you should just fuck of an die, and to actually brag and make light of it, just shows how much of a moron you are and that you do not deserve to be free and out of jail. People like you total make me sick and your so called friend is in fact just as bad as you for allowing you to be able to get of the charge and thus keep on the road.



and if you wonder why i have this attitude then bear this in mind the next time you drink and drive, i have an older brother lying in a grave in heanton devon just looking over the old RAF chivenor search and rescue base. he was killed by some one just like you, some one who thought that drink driving was ok .
so go ahead and make light of what you have done and carry on with your life, because my brother brett can not carry on with his and my parents never got over what that drink driver did to them and there family they took that pain and anguish to there graves.
go on with your life because people like you stop others from living theirs.





apologies if this is to down in the weeds and puts a sad thought in any ones day
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 8:16, closed)

Again as i said further up, i'm really sorry for your loss
and sorry if you think i'm bragging, i wasn't trying to come across like that, and wasn't trying to make light of the situation either.

And again i'm cunt for doing it, but i have and luckily no one was hurt.
(serge, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 9:19, closed)

No, he's asking you to shit some coppers...
...swallow a few small denomination coins and then pass them in a bowel movement.

How this will prove you're not making this up, I don't know, but that's what it will take to make him believe you.
( TheAlmightyBeev, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 8:43, closed)

lol your a realley funney guy

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 0:50, closed)

You lot missed the fatal flaw,
right in the subject line. It's an indisputable fact that nobody drives home from Cardiff to Birmingham.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 4:28, closed)

Probably bollocks
Because not only can the police tell that you've had a drink, but when, too.

Secondly, if it is true, I hope the copper who arrested you reads this and keeps it for evidence.
(Flap Burger hasn't really got a burger made of flaps, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 8:05, closed)

this could definitely happen.
i understand you have to give all your internet forum usernames to the arresting officer these days.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 19:06, closed)

If nothing else,
they'll have loads of character witnesses, willing to testify that the OP is a cunt.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 19:38, closed)

Of course it could happen.
I have a mate who walked out of the police station with a bag of massive drugs, which was the sum of the evidence that they had on us. We were being questioned one at a time and he was first. I was last I wondered why they only asked me a few questions. He had been left on his own in the room with the bag of drugs which he shoved in his pants and was then bailed. It wasn't until they started the interview for the 2nd one of us that they noticed the missing bag and realised (but could not prove) what had happened.
Police make mistakes all the time. He was a long way from anywhere and so the police felt sorry for him. They are not all cunts and so leaving him in the middle of nowhere would have been a bit out of order. You can bet that particular Dibble never did the same again though.
(Wagane, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 0:15, closed)

You nob. That is all for tonight
(tyrefire2001 Is it a fast ship?, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 22:03, closed)