can't a girl have a male friend?
one of my good friends is a bloke with whom i have a lot in common. as we are both single, i often invite him to family parties. we sit together, as friends do. we talk, we laugh, we enjoy ourselves.
my family and other friends just can't seem to get their heads around this. they are all utterly convinced that we are either a couple or both gay. we are definitely not a couple and are not gay, either. well, i know i'm not and i'm fairly sure he isn't.
no matter what they think, it's definitely not what they believe it is.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 11 Dec 2010, 18:58, 35 replies)

Sweet
you have a friendzone pet

or is that not what it looks like?
('tin'tintin, Sat 11 Dec 2010, 19:34, closed)

not really
he has a life of his own, we don't see each other more than about once a week. he's a good friend, but he's not my only friend and i'm certainly not his.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 11 Dec 2010, 19:37, closed)

I have been in a similar position before, it's irritating to always have people gosiping and asking about if your a couple.

Of course I was smitten by the girl but that's anouther story.
(Mong goose, Sat 11 Dec 2010, 20:02, closed)

i'm pretty sure he finds me disgusting
i've always been blokish
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 11 Dec 2010, 20:05, closed)

This girl was no stunner, but her personality won me over. Untill she turned mega bitch.
(Mong goose, Sat 11 Dec 2010, 20:10, closed)

he's still annoyed with me
because i accidentally hit him in the nuts with a knitting needle
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 11 Dec 2010, 20:20, closed)

Accidentally, eh?
How does one, ahem, "accidentally" smack someone in the pods with a knitting needle?
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Sun 12 Dec 2010, 0:26, closed)

i was hitting his knees with it to annoy him
and he stretched the material of his pants. i hit him a few times, but the needle just bounced off the material. suddenly, he let his pants go slack and got a knitting needle in the spuds
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 12 Dec 2010, 0:36, closed)

Superb.
I shall invest in a brace of knitting needles post-haste.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Sun 12 Dec 2010, 0:46, closed)

and...
... a kevlar box.

Oh, and a box of tissues to wipe your eyes if it doesn't work might not be a bad idea.
(Large Hardon Collider Bah Bloody Humbug, Sun 12 Dec 2010, 1:12, closed)

yep
i hear you. i'm absolutely in love with my best friend but constantly having to convince everyone that we are not a couple. hurts like a mofo.
(it's not hash mixed drops, Sun 12 Dec 2010, 10:44, closed)

Waddaya mean
I thought you was a man......



Sorry SM it seems to be a recurring theme
( bane, Sat 11 Dec 2010, 20:16, closed)

the boobs are usually a giveaway ;)

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 11 Dec 2010, 20:21, closed)

Dunno about that.
Ever seen a pic of Jack Nicholson in a pool? He's developed quite a rack.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sat 11 Dec 2010, 21:35, closed)

moobs tend not to be as rounded

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 11 Dec 2010, 21:45, closed)

I feel we may need picture evidence
(Mong goose, Sat 11 Dec 2010, 21:48, closed)

tough

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 11 Dec 2010, 22:18, closed)

You don't own a camera?

( Chum Gnomesky Nom Chompsky, Mon 13 Dec 2010, 1:19, closed)

no i don't

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 13 Dec 2010, 19:37, closed)

One of my best mates was a man, I even used to lodge in his house.
We were also weekend vikings.
Getting ready for a show one weekend my mum popped round, someone let her in and the first thing she saw was me on my knees trying to unhook a stray bit of chain mail from his belt buckle.
To this day she doesnt believe we were never an item, never even kissed.
Last year she aksed me what ever become of that nice man you were living with?
pffft
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Sat 11 Dec 2010, 23:37, closed)

mums, eh?
every bloke i go out with isn't good enough, yet any time i make friends with a bloke, she thinks he's perfect husband material!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 11 Dec 2010, 23:52, closed)

Your all gay.


Ahem.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Sun 12 Dec 2010, 0:27, closed)

you wish

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 12 Dec 2010, 0:36, closed)

Don't I just.
If you saw my browser history...
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Sun 12 Dec 2010, 0:44, closed)

pfff

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 12 Dec 2010, 23:34, closed)

You say that
like its a bad thing
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Sun 12 Dec 2010, 0:41, closed)

Really?
I should work on my delivery, then. I thought I was saying it like it's a good thing.

*declaims*

YOUR ALL GAY!

Better?
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Sun 12 Dec 2010, 0:45, closed)

apart from a missing apostrophe and an e, yes thanks ;)
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Sun 12 Dec 2010, 1:35, closed)

All of your bases
are now in our possession!
('tin'tintin, Sun 12 Dec 2010, 3:19, closed)

Ooh
That's a random bit of synchronicity there. I had no idea where the "all of your xxxx are belong to us" meme had come from until about an hour ago when I read about it on cracked.
(mmm....beer, Tue 14 Dec 2010, 15:52, closed)

Unless you're about seven years old...
inviting a platonic friend to family functions is a bit weird.
(Sloppy Giuseppe, Mon 13 Dec 2010, 11:58, closed)

not really
most of my other friends are in relationships and have kids, so they have to get babysitters and can't stay out late. i'd rther party with a mate who doesn't mind going home sometime the next afternoon.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 13 Dec 2010, 19:36, closed)

The fact that you look like John Prescott probably won't help.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 13 Dec 2010, 15:04, closed)

i don't look like that any more

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 13 Dec 2010, 19:37, closed)

John Prescott's wife wishes he no longer looked like John Prescott.
(Large Hardon Collider Bah Bloody Humbug, Mon 13 Dec 2010, 20:28, closed)