Oblique Strategies for Work
We want you to share solutions that solved work problems - but don't explain the problem it solved.
The idea is that someone else, when they have a problem can read this and see if your solution jolts them out of their problem.
(This is obviously a tribute to Brian Eno's Oblique Strategies cards which were filled with stuff like "add backing vocals")
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rob, Tue 15 May 2018, 10:45)
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Beer is liquid bread
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hadr0n Craic whore, Fri 18 May 2018, 15:31,
1 reply)
Empathise,
..and apportion the blame to their predecessor.
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Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 May 2018, 14:49,
Reply)
screenshots and blackmail
works every time
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 18 May 2018, 14:07,
Reply)
No two trees are the same.
This is a feature, not an error.
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Smallbrainfield, Fri 18 May 2018, 9:23,
Reply)
Check the finish before changing an orifice.
A leaking or dripping orifice doesn't mean it's necessarily ruined.
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Smallbrainfield, Fri 18 May 2018, 9:22,
Reply)
Rather than cut the male and female separately,
cut together as two layers.
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Smallbrainfield, Fri 18 May 2018, 9:18,
1 reply)
Ignore instructions that are clearly racist
Lie to racist client if you are just an oil rag and he is a chief engineer
Never be in first on a Saturday morning when the shop is next to a late night pizza/kebab shop
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2018, 23:13,
Reply)
scream in your employees' faces to do some fucking work I'm not paying you to watch videos of cats singing all day
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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 17 May 2018, 22:57,
Reply)
Double-check the cabling sequence to make sure there's only one loop, not two.
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Ivana Puliakokov, Thu 17 May 2018, 22:09,
Reply)
Prioritise two things, set a deadline, and wait until there’s only time to do one of them
You can half-arse both, or fuck one of them off entirely and do the other one all proper
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dandelionburdock, Thu 17 May 2018, 20:25,
Reply)
turn off all the vdus
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empire of the pussycat requires more champage, Thu 17 May 2018, 19:15,
Reply)
if it involves photocopied or printed pages to work off, replace everything between the first page and last page
with photocopies of whatever is on the first page or last page, discard the original pages.. wait for the deadline.. throw the secretly reformatted material on the bosses desk and loudly ask what the fuck you are supposed to do with it..
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R2Dtard Poor kids are as smart as white kids, Thu 17 May 2018, 17:03,
Reply)
Push her down the stairs.
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hiraeth SPACE £19.99. I say yer buy one yer get one free, Thu 17 May 2018, 16:42,
1 reply)
Set up forum threads on a website to get free content
Then disperse content using, I don't know, say, an email newsletter, to subscribers who are paying for the content they provided through a donation system
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The_cold_stare Coming here only when very, very bored, Thu 17 May 2018, 16:34,
2 replies)
Include a domino mask in your costume
and train your first born son to act on your stead.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 17 May 2018, 15:14,
Reply)
Lock inconvenient documents
in a broom cupboard when the auditors arrive
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A Rory Borealis here under duress, Thu 17 May 2018, 12:09,
Reply)
Try and add a bottle opener into the design
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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 17 May 2018, 10:47,
Reply)
It may seem counterintuitive but,
ironically, your intuition may prove more beneficial than a targeting computer.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 17 May 2018, 9:45,
Reply)
Check the batteries first ...
... before dismantling the "faulty" item.
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Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Thu 17 May 2018, 8:51,
Reply)
All bread is latent toast.
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Shashi, Wed 16 May 2018, 23:35,
Reply)
Put a cordon on and let someone else make the decision
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multijoy, Wed 16 May 2018, 23:03,
1 reply)
Build a tower out of bits and bobs
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Turboesprit Volume knob, Wed 16 May 2018, 22:35,
Reply)
Arrange for everyone in the office except the annoying twat to come in two hours later on a given day
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naked_ravens A big hammer, WD40 & gaffer tape, Wed 16 May 2018, 21:54,
Reply)
Get *EVERYONE ELSE* to change their seats
That'll teach him.
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Bob McCow, Wed 16 May 2018, 21:38,
Reply)
Don't solve any problems.
Otherwise people will start bringing problems to you.
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Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Wed 16 May 2018, 20:19,
Reply)
Write a bot to do your work,
but don't tell anyone.
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monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 16 May 2018, 19:43,
4 replies)
Learn skills with a stupid, fun personal project,
not on a real boring project.
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monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 16 May 2018, 19:43,
1 reply)
Sit in the stationery cupboard for twenty minutes
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sp3ccylad carries on breathing all the way up to, say, Wed 16 May 2018, 19:09,
Reply)
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