Hexagons...
…are succeeding in driving me mildly insane – I’m currently revising organic chemistry, and you wouldn’t believe the number of bloody benzene rings that involves drawing out. I swear at some point drawing hexagons really is going to push me over the edge, and drive me to a rage-fueled hexagon-driven murderous rampage.

Within a few days just seeing a hexagon is going to bring me out in a cold sweat.

Ahem, minor rant over. Sorry, just needed to get that off my chest! Excuse me whilst I return to lurking...
(Captain Backfire, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 20:22, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

first in an occasional series..
Things Spimf likes about Dubai

#00001
i rented a big fuck off 4x4 for a month for BUTTONS with no guilt whatsoever because i now have justification for having one over here.

#00002
filling the tank cost less than a imported copy of GQ magazine (about 12 bloody quid!)
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 20:05, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

first in an occasional series..
things Spimf does not like about Dubai

#000001
zealot security guards who stop me when i walk into their shitty Carrefour 'hypermarket' and staple my other shopping bags closed - yes i had hoped to shoplift a box Bold automatic you CUNT

#000002
i bought a copy of GQ - i had to pay more than the cost of a tank of petrol for it and the CUNTS had scribbled over some beautiful photography with a big bastard marker just because there was a bit of nork on show

#000003
the repressed cunts have blocked the entire flickr site - i mean FFS

#000004
girls in full burqa taking photo's of each other in shopping malls - what is the fucking point - you all look like transexual ninjas

#000005
i got my car stuck in sand and looked like a tit in front of the entire fucking office - need a 4x4 dont approve of them
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 20:03, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Evening all
I'm going to be in and out tonight as I need to get my design proposal for uni submitted before I wander off for the weekend.

But come in anyway.


(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 18:35, 130 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm doing an experiment.
I'm trying to grow a small tree on my desk.

What I have here is a Tsuga canadensis, a tiny hemlock seedling that I dug up at my parents' place. It looks like a Charlie Brown Christmas tree, but so far it's surviving under the fluorescent lights. My hope is that I can make it into a little bonsai tree eventually.

I'll keep you posted on how it fares. God knows if it will survive in here...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 28 Aug 2008, 18:34, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I realise that no one cares
but I have just finished my 600 page history of photography textbook, and I wanted a bit more fanfare than I got by closing the book and dropping it loudly on the floor.



As you were.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 18:07, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Whoo hoo for me!!!
I got last post without trying. A later post of a tale I also relayed made 'best of' and mine didn't so I'm having a little sulk.

And I'm having sausage, chips, egg and beans for dinner tonight.

And spikeypicklejunior is a whole year old tomorrow!
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 16:59, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Marmite sucks
Discuss
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 15:29, 108 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I don't know why I find this so amusing
CLICK THIS LINK!

http://deagostini.com/ilovehorses/
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 15:29, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

partners don't understand b3ta
Whenever he hears me laughing, he'll just ask "are you reading your silly bollocks again?" and if we're at work and I try to make him look at something, he'll shake his head and walk away.

In retrospect, maybe the "gash or tash" game wasn't safe for the teacher's office!
(DippyFi, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 15:28, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Julie Moult is an idiot
apparently its true. I would like to see'Julie Moult is an idiot' as the newsletter title this week. any takers?

its all to do with this:
www.neonbubble.com/picture/julie-moult-idiot

and her thievery from b3tan bea beau d'or
( BadBadman saw an incorrect comma placement on, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 14:07, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Well...
At 23:54 on Tuesday night, I became an uncle for the second time!

His name is Daniel Mark, and was delivered at a healthy 7lb 3oz

Pictures -
a910.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/4/l_937e568ea856b2b03e1e18f67aaf0f6d.jpg

a815.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/27/l_194c2710fc53050947b4b6333215b42e.jpg

a815.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/27/l_194c2710fc53050947b4b6333215b42e.jpg

a716.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/65/l_8736d5e766728df6815184d87f95d16b.jpg

:D
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 10:34, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Has anything set your mood up for the day yet?
I've just heard the new AC/DC single.
I'm going to be rocking all day now, it's good to have them back.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 9:09, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning all!
Another grey day but my heart is full of sunshine! *barf*

Slightly whimsical today, so I wondered:

If you had three wishes, what would you wish for?

Zero points for

1. Kate Humble/George Clooney
2. Minus Clothes
3. Plus Strawberry Jelly

And, of course, how the devil are you?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 7:13, 300 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Evening all
Come on in for the evening, grab a bean bag and settle on down. And have cake. Can't forget the cake.


(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 18:35, 155 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Buying cars
Why is it that places that sell cars (we're talking secondhand and cheap here) are located in areas that require a car to be able to get to them? And then, if/when you do get there, you have no insurance so you can't legally/officially test drive them. Or indeed drive them away when you buy them.

I. Just. Want. An. Auld. Car.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 15:08, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

so, for the last 10 minutes i've been MEGALOLing at this...
www.seaweedproducts.co.uk/

The banner at the top of the page, the look on the cows face and the woman's happy smile and thumbs up is killing me. My boss keeps looking at me like i'm weird. I knew you guys would appreciate it more!
(drain_bamaged, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 14:37, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Narcelepsy
Hey there,

quick question for everyone, can anyone direct me to the clip the BBC did of the narcoleptics meeting when they did the narcolepsy documentary?
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 12:07, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Important notice
this may not mean a lot to many people:

I've got an mp3 of Yngwie Malmsteen covering Gimme Gimme Gimme by Abba

it's fucking ace
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:30, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Broken pc
My pc is broken.

Seeing as, for the past eight years, broken pcs were always fixed by the soon-to-be-ex-wife, who now no longer fancies several hours trying to work out what's wrong with the thing, I need to get it fixed some other way.

It's a Dell pc, just over a year old. I've done the standard stuff like removing recently installed software, and rolling it back, but what started out as simply crashing when viewing a video has now turned into not booting in anything other than safe mode.

Should I call Dell and see if they can fix it? Or take it to PC World in the hope that their monkeys can fix it without trying to tell me the motherboard is busted and trying to charge me lots of pennies. Or should I beg my ex to try and fix it?

Any advice is welcome :)
( SeasonTicketless is too often the statue, and rarely the pigeon., Wed 27 Aug 2008, 9:53, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Explaining the Internet?
My girlfriend couldn't be more IT illeterate either using my Mac or my (shitty) works Vista laptop...

GF: "So, who are you chatting to on the internet?"
Me: "I'm not, I'm reading websites"
GF: "Why?"
Me: "Um...... Well, I'm not just reading, I'm posting on forums"
GF: "Which ones, why, who are you talking to?"
Me: "Argh!"

Am I the only one with a girlfriend (or partner if you like) who doesn't get it? And, how do I explain it? Or do I just hide it and surf on my phone when she's not looking?

Incidentally, yes, this is one of the reasons I'm not on here as much these days as the grief/hassle factor just isn't worth it.

Well, actually, it's more that work has blocked b3ta and I'd forgotten about Axai....

PS - Good morning everyone :)
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 9:38, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning Offtopiclys!
Wednesday brings grey skies - the absolute definition of this years' British summer. I must admit this weather is starting to drag me down.

What do you do to brighten your day?

And how are we all?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 7:59, 376 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Since it's the wee hours over there, but early evening here
I'll post a story to greet you in the morning.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 27 Aug 2008, 1:37, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The Great Too-Rye-Ay Appreciation Society
I, Scentless Apprentice,

Would like to reclaim Too-Rye-Ay, the Dexys Midnight Runners Album, from it's current position as frowned upon 80's jetsam and position it as one of the great lost pop albums of the last 30 years.

Is my call seconded?
(scentless_apprentice takes two bottles into the shower!, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 23:04, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

It all seems a bit disjointed this evening
so here's the welcome mat to draw in the stragglers of the weekend.



I've spent most of the afternoon asleep or dosing in front of House M.D and still feel tired now, so not sure how much I'll be posting on here. Feel less like shit though and have the hungries, so will endeavour to make food in a bit.

How is everyone?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 20:36, 83 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Because it's quiet, and I'm bored
Apologies if folk have heard this.

A bloke walks into a talent agency and with a flourish, places his resume on the desk.
"Can I help you?" asks the talent manager.
"Oh yes," says the performer. "I'm everything you've been looking for; and I seek representation."
"What can you do?" asks the manager.
"Do? Well, I can act, I can sing, I can dance. I'm an all-round performer".
Flicking through the resume, the manager says, "Well this is certainly very impressive, but I'm afraid I can't represent you. We would have a problem with your name".
"What's wrong with it?" demands the aghast artiste.
"It says here your name is Penis van Lesbian. Nobody will take you seriously or book you with that name, no matter how accomplished you are. If you would be willing to change it, we would certainly be interested."
"I change my name for noone!" rants van Lesbian. "I'm proud of my name and I change it for noone. I shall become the biggest star ever without your help. Good day to you!" and with that he flounces out.
Two years pass and the talent manager receives a letter, accompanied with a large bouquet of flowers.

Dear Mr. Manager.

2 years ago I came to you seeking representation and due to my refusal to change my name, I rebuffed you and stormed out.
I gave your advice serious thought and on hindsight, decided you may be right. I chose a stage name and have now become a huge star, and I owe it all to you and your advice.
Please accept these flowers as a token of my gratitude.

Yours sincerely,

Dick van Dyke
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 20:31, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)