I'm watching Noel's Christmas Presents
And I'm in danger of getting misty-eyed.

Just to be clear, I still hate Christmas.

What sets you off blubbing?

Alt: Does me watching 'Noel's Christmas Presents' make me a massive bumder?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 18:22, 101 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I'd answer
but I've no idea what 'Noel's Christmas Presents' is.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 18:24, Reply)

Sentimental old wank.
Hosted by Noel 'Tidybeard' Edmonds. Basically he goes around people who have suffered the most unimaginable tragedy porn and brings them the joy of Christmas.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 18:49, Reply)

That sounds dire beyond belief
I really don't like sad things
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 18:50, Reply)

Then he wanks into the grieving widow's underwear drawer.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 18:52, Reply)

Sounds just like him

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 18:58, Reply)

To be fair,
he's only giving them the white Christmas they always dreamed of.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 18:59, Reply)

Pulling the Christmas pud
so as to speak
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:00, Reply)

Tugging the turkey.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:05, Reply)

pulling the cracker

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:48, Reply)

Armageddon, The Lion King, The Green Mile and Forrest Gump
They've all made me cry at some point
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 18:38, Reply)

No offence intended
(as he posts an offensive link)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WLRIPPa5Qw
( djtrialprice, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:56, Reply)

I'm blubbing.
I chucked the plug from the hoover into the living room and it hit the screen on wifeys laptop.
The screen is usable but there is now a star in the east. Permanently.
Bollocks.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 18:39, Reply)

If 3 wise men suddenly appear
Then questions will be asked.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 18:41, Reply)

Three wise men? In Sunderland? Are you mad?
Then again there aren't any virgins round here either.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 18:53, Reply)

Will your house insurance cover it?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:05, Reply)

Good idea.
Tape the policy note over the affected bit, then you won't see it.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:09, Reply)

heh heh heh

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:10, Reply)

Not again!

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:18, Reply)

Every christmas morning when I was a kid
Life would stop while my mum watched Noel's Christmas Presents and cried. We're watching it now because of YOU!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 18:41, Reply)

Because of little ole ME?
*BEAMS*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 18:42, Reply)

haha
that happened at our house, too. I think we're over it now *hopes*
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:29, Reply)

I feel a bit sad
when I watch Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence, and I know there is one or two other things but I'm not sure what
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 18:44, Reply)

ever listen to 'Honey' by Bobby Goldsboro?
*shows age*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 18:47, Reply)

Aw shit, Sis...
My dad played that to me when I was little, and it was the first song to make me cry. It's where he says 'and I'm being good'. *bawls*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 18:59, Reply)

another one that always makes me cry
is one of dj's favourites by erasure about a girl who's alone at xmas but tells her parents she's okay and with friends etc.

*sobs*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:01, Reply)

Erasure?
hahahahahaha
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:04, Reply)

Ask dj to link you to Misery Bear's Christmas.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:05, Reply)

OH, GOD, NOOOOOO!!!!!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:10, Reply)

Nooooooooooooo!

( girlinthehole, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:12, Reply)

you have no idea how much i do not want to hear another sad song
mr b3th finds it hilarious that the first bar of old shep sends me right over the edge - and just the mention of rainbow bridge has me welling right up.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:12, Reply)

Hahahahaha
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrYShIOki70
www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGWrucvdgno

I'm on my own again this Christmas, I'm so gonna phone you with that Erasure tune playing in the background.
( djtrialprice, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:32, Reply)

*disinherits*

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:38, Reply)

How much did you get for your house again?
Tuppence ha'penny?
( djtrialprice, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:45, Reply)

Dear Santa...
All I want for Christmas is a friend...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:39, Reply)

I noes!
awwwww
( djtrialprice, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:44, Reply)

Give a little respect.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:39, Reply)

That song is taken from the Crackers International EP
The title track being Stop. This was released after The Innocents (A Little Respect) and before Wild! (Blue Savannah)
( djtrialprice, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:43, Reply)

Incidentally, I'm available most of the time
for general discussion of Erasure's back catalogue.
( djtrialprice, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 20:02, Reply)

*keeps in mind*

( girlinthehole, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 20:02, Reply)

great
this is such a cheering thread
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:47, Reply)

I'm inflicting my own brand of Christmas cheer
on the population one motherfucker at a time.
( djtrialprice, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:52, Reply)

to be fair
I was already being a misery - this thread it quite on my level right now

*mopes*
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:55, Reply)

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK`
now my cunting fuse for the lights has popped
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:56, Reply)

My mother seems to be in a good mood and not very stressed as the celebrations draw near.
This usually sets the tone for our Christmas period.
( girlinthehole, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:59, Reply)

good sign

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 20:01, Reply)

Very good.
Unless my step-dad starts to get on her nerves : (
( girlinthehole, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 20:03, Reply)

keep him busy
so he doesn't get a chance
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 20:05, Reply)

If I see her start to get moody I'll shove Biscuit at her.
It's impossible to get down when that dog is looking at you.
( girlinthehole, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 20:06, Reply)

from the pictures
I'd say that dog in particular
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 20:07, Reply)

Or get Biscuit to write a note for your mum.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 20:13, Reply)

my mum's hearing aid is broken
which means mum will get really annoyed at Dad who will get exasperated. I expect shouting and door slamming for the few days I'm home.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 20:05, Reply)

The cost of hearing aids is going up dramatically.
The hard of hearing all over the country have been hearing crying out, 'How much!?!?'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 20:12, Reply)

You should be on the stage Jeff.

( girlinthehole, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 20:13, Reply)

My spidey-senses detect 'sarcasm'

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 20:26, Reply)

Noooo
surely not
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 20:28, Reply)

I fear so Amberl, I fear so.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 20:28, Reply)

There there

( djtrialprice, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 20:00, Reply)

appreciated
i can't fix it until tomorrow, now and it means at least one more unreachable light has burnt out :(
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 20:01, Reply)

I get choked at the bit where Hara is awaiting execution.
I love that film. Love the book as well. Might just read it again now.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 18:55, Reply)

the book is really good
and yeah the bit that makes me really sad is when Celliers prevents Yonoi from killing the senior officer
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 18:57, Reply)

Remembering I'm 45 usually sets me off.

( girlinthehole, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 18:45, Reply)

*There there*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 18:47, Reply)

Just wait till you are 78.
33 wasn't bad though.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 18:56, Reply)

I am quite desperately sad and will cry at anything
including rspca adverts. And those dogstrust ones.

alt: oh, baby, that's not what makes you a massive bumder...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 18:46, Reply)

Yesterday I walked past three homeless humans
But then sobbed and donated when faced with four homeless greyhounds with little vests on.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:03, Reply)

What did the vests look like?
*Rubs thighs*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:04, Reply)

I saw two outside Morrisons the other week
dressed in little santa outfits. Sooo cute.

I am such a little old lady...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:05, Reply)

Jeff the Dog Fucker: Friend of Darthy.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 18:57, Reply)

DE BURGH!
Leave them alone you!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:01, Reply)

hahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:03, Reply)

standing on an upturned plug and beautiful lesbians.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:05, Reply)

Alright Bob?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:06, Reply)

All good in the hood
what's happening daddy o?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:07, Reply)

HERE COMES MISTER HUMBUG, HERE COMES MISTER GRIM ! IF THEY GAVE A PRIZE FOR BEING MEAN, THE WINNER WOULD BE HIM !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:10, Reply)

Damn Gonz I usually wait til xmas eve but I might have to give up on Sports Personality of the Year and watch that

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:13, Reply)

We're marley and marley "WoooooHHHHHHHHH"

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:14, Reply)

I'm afraid it does
That said, I think I caught some of it last year and it made me sniffly. It doesn't take a lot to crack my cynical facade, I cried when buffy died ffs.
(berk, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:12, Reply)

Buffy's dead?

( girlinthehole, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:13, Reply)

She dies at least twice in the series.
Seriously unlucky girl, that one.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:15, Reply)

I gave up on Stargate on the forth time Daniel died and came back to life.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:20, Reply)

or lucky
since she does keep coming back to life
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:28, Reply)

Try listening to Sandy Denny singing Where does all the time go.
That's another one for the funeral list. Not a dry eye in the crem.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:21, Reply)

she's one of mr b3th's favourites
apparently she fell down her stairs and broke her neck.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:26, Reply)

Bet he likes Judie Tzuke as well.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:46, Reply)

The thought of not being able to act the twat abroad anymore because Fulham are shit.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:23, Reply)

I just watched love actually with some friends
then I came home alone and felt sad.

Watership Down makes me cry, but don't tell anyone
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:28, Reply)

I can't watch Watership Down either.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:40, Reply)

you only need to hum a few bars
of Bright Eyes and I'm gone. Any other time I'm way too 'ard to cry
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:44, Reply)

What about Lassie come home?
Or Greyfriar's Bobby?
( girlinthehole, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:45, Reply)

makes him weep in a different way
I expect
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:52, Reply)

You know me too well.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 20:05, Reply)

I donno if I'm a cunt, but I got angry at some charity people the other day.
Last week I bought my Big Issue guy two huge pizzas from Marks, emptied my coin-wallet for the St Johns people, did the same thing for some dog people. Then on thursday there was the shelter people at southgate station and I wanted sushi and I couldn't bring myself to spend £25 on a single meal and not spare a few quid for Shelter, and I had no coins, so I gave them a fiver. Friday morning they were still there, shaking away their boxes, so I popped in another couple of quid, 'cus that ain't gonna do me no halm and it'll help them. Then on friday night they were _still_ there, and I thought "Well, fuck this, I'll be broke if they're there every day next week", and I walked pass, but then GUILT TRIP SETS IN... she looked so dejected that I ignored her, but then I was on the other side of the barriers and it was too late.

Can't I adopt a dog just for the holidays or something instead?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:29, Reply)

I've just put on the BBC Sports Personality of the Year
And Frank Williams has just been given an award.

The audience didn't give him a standing ovation, but seeing as Frank is in a wheelchair, does the audience not standing up for him show more or less appreciation than if it was some able bodied recipient?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:33, Reply)

Amy Williams ftw. She is tidy.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:39, Reply)

I love her quote
"Wow, I've never won a race before." That she's nominated shows how little the award matters.

Oh and though she's tidy: Jessica Ennis. She's tidy *and* tiny.
( djtrialprice, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:49, Reply)

It's a whole load of bollocks really and they make every montage like Gladiator it's gay.
Ennis is indeed beautiful but Williams is West Country!!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:51, Reply)

Aaah so you're in with a chance
on account of your family connection.
( djtrialprice, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:59, Reply)

Arr

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 20:00, Reply)

Can I just point this one out too..... 72 members of the EDL claim whiplash on a coach crash.... on a coach that only had 25 people on
twitpic.com/3hgn8p
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:41, Reply)

Wot?
Did some immigant rear end them?
( djtrialprice, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 19:50, Reply)

And new Beckham is blubbing.
What a massive bumder.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 20:46, Reply)