b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Off Topic » Post 1015452 | Search
This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 837, 836, 835, 834, 833, ... 1

« Go Back | Popular

Continuing the theme of below
write a personal ad for another b3tan.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:06, 131 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
one gonzo, barely used,
£50
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:09, Reply)
scrap that i'm keeping him

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:13, Reply)
This could be very funny.

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:16, Reply)
I know but I can't be arsed to write one. I have some good stuff for Darth though.

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:18, Reply)
It could be
if anyone did it.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:19, Reply)
we're all too scared
or uncreative
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:20, Reply)
AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A HOUND DOG
Male WLTM F for long walks, cuddles in front of the fire...and maybe a bone if you're lucky! Ages between 18-30 (dog years)
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:20, Reply)
Is that for me?

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:29, Reply)
Yeah
Who else fucks dogs?
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:30, Reply)
Thanks.
*Sends advert off to the Bristol Evening Post*
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:32, Reply)
I realised I set the upper age limit a little too high :P
You're my twin, aren't you?
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:33, Reply)
Honestly love, if it's got a waggy-tail, it'll be considered.

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:37, Reply)

M, 30 something, penchant for spandex and glitter, kin not an issue. will try anything once.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:22, Reply)
Raving chutney ferret (inbred, webbed feet)
seeks inexplicably fit fag-hag for bent dance routines and maybe more. Must have an interest in terminally shit TV quizzes and be inured to appalling hairdos.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:23, Reply)
hahahaha

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:37, Reply)
Bob.
Like drums and drugs. Seeks similar.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:23, Reply)
I WISH YOU WERE PAPER AND I WERE A PAPERCLIP, THEN I COULD HOLD YOU
M, late 20s, from the city of Dreams. No longer lives with parents. Would like to meet any female, preferably blonde and poledance.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:25, Reply)
hahahahaha!

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:25, Reply)
*sniggers*

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:26, Reply)
I lovely tag line there
I'd like to hear a song based around it. Preferably a miserable country and western song
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:27, Reply)
Tape me back, darlin'
I promise I'll stay-ple.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:28, Reply)
Fat retard, M, too old to have any fucking excuse,
seeks similar ignoramus for cuddles watching The fucking Wire, smoking parsley that the local rudebwais told me is 'the boom ting' and wittering on about football. Must be blind, ideally a Deacon.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:26, Reply)
Bonus marks for referencing Deacon.

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:28, Reply)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UF6iVNkU1g
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:44, Reply)
hahahahahaha x several billion.
I want a copy of his book more than ever now.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:48, Reply)
Suddenly £75 seems like a bargain.

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:54, Reply)
I wonder how much a signed copy would be worth?

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:58, Reply)
I love you so much you beautiful disaster
*sends nommy hug*
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:29, Reply)

f,20's. looking for a super duper nommy wommy lovely muffiny wuffiny man. must enjoy baking and sammiches.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:27, Reply)
I like this thread.

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:28, Reply)
geriatric miser, reeks of piss, opiates and despair
must hate everything, including oneself, unsuitable for small children.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:28, Reply)
Leave Crow out of this

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:29, Reply)
haha evening mate.

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:30, Reply)
Evening fella
How are we?

Bottle of wine has left me in a fucking fantastic mood.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:31, Reply)
All good, watching peep show and being annoyed about how shit the fallout dlc is.

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:33, Reply)
Peep show is where you're going wrong there

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:37, Reply)
Crow's not that old at all.
He was mortified that Al though they were the same age.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:30, Reply)
Crow is a cracking fella
I was simply shocked that he's only 3(?) years older than me.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:38, Reply)
Blimey, is he really?

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:38, Reply)
He's 25.

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:39, Reply)
I remember 25.
Just.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:41, Reply)
I'm nowhere near 25.
Lololol.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:42, Reply)
Shush, you
it's all downhill to 30 for me.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:46, Reply)
pah! 30 is a distant memory
I am almost 70
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:47, Reply)
Nonsense
I've met you and I know that's bollocks.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:51, Reply)
shit, I forgot I met people
I was thinking I could convince people I was proper old
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:52, Reply)
You're only 25 as well though, aren't you?

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:48, Reply)
Yeah
I forget it sometimes though. I remember being 19 vividly and thinking 'fuck, 25 is old'.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:51, Reply)
19.
Oh god, 19. I once was at a pub where we worked out that a friend of a friend was at uni at the same time as me being in primary school /holds head in hands
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:53, Reply)
one of the mums of one of my students
is the same age as me :(
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:54, Reply)
Tbh, from every description I've heard of you, I'd be a lucky guy to even get to chat you up!
Then again, you might just be mingin.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:49, Reply)
You've met me you bellend!

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:52, Reply)
Barely
I saw you for all of 2 minutes. Although from that, I know you're not mingin.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:55, Reply)
I'm 22, that's bad enough!
You're 20, aren't you?
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:46, Reply)
iiiiii'm tweeeenty fiiiiiiiive,
i don't learn from my mistakes
(, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 0:03, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hr1L5XlVrU8
(, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 0:04, Reply)
Is everyone in this bloody thread younger than me?

(, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 0:08, Reply)
yes

(, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 0:10, Reply)
Knickers.

(, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 0:12, Reply)
It would be useful if you could say who you've written your profile for, that is all.

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:30, Reply)
guessing is half the fun! get an imagination you old fart.

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:31, Reply)
It's supposed to be obvious
Apart from AA's, and if it's about me, I'll rip his throat out.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:31, Reply)
Tbh, it was meant to be me, being 'ironic' with the female bit
I realised that wasn't clear, so deleted it.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:32, Reply)
I like the bile in this thread
more bite than the nommy kindness, though I shudder to think what mine would read
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:30, Reply)
Not very innocent, innocent looking student.
Seeks purveyor of fine chicken sandwiches.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:34, Reply)
not enough bile

(, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 0:03, Reply)
Is an excellent dancer, whose unique brand of gyration is only improved by use of props, many highly original.

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:35, Reply)
Irascible old curmudgeon seeks younger M for bumdering.
Must be able to nod knowingly when being regaled with stories about elderly surf rockers, drug casualties and trips to Tayyabs.

Must be a practiced lifter, with impeccable A and O levels.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:30, Reply)
Old fashioned gent, home owner, good sense of responsibility with exclusive tastes and collection of records by people nobody has heard of.
Seeks hot, younger woman for actually, fuck it; I'm covered already. Sorry for wasting your time. And my money on this ad.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:31, Reply)
I had 'Performance: Rockin' the Fillmore' by Humble Pie delivered yesterday.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZMmV6xXYFw&feature=related

It is fucking marvellous.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:34, Reply)
Evening sir.
What's a nice guy like you doing in a place like this?
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:38, Reply)
I'm cruising for a piece of ass.

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:38, Reply)
Al hasn't been around all evening, so far as I can tell.

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:39, Reply)
And right on cue, I'm just nipping out for a fag.

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:40, Reply)
I said a 'piece of ass',
not 'an ass the size of the West Midlands and twice as smelly'.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:40, Reply)
there certainly are many arses in here tonight

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:39, Reply)
COO EE!

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:40, Reply)
I am higher than the fucking High Chapparal
and twice as cowboy-friendly.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:41, Reply)
In the mood for YouTube jukebox?

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:45, Reply)
Just a short one perhaps.
I'll start a new thread.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:48, Reply)
-wiggles-

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:43, Reply)
*wanks to a bloody stump*

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:46, Reply)
If only there were a nice single man of about half your age who'd do that.

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:46, Reply)
(without facial hair)

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:53, Reply)
Tall, dark, clever too plz

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:54, Reply)
oi don't monopolise

(, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 0:00, Reply)
I have my type!
I am not putting some of the more insane requests down, like eyes any other colour than blue and nice clavicles.
(, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 0:02, Reply)
You are seriously talking about Crow here
And I'm not joking.
(, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 0:03, Reply)
No, I'm not.

(, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 0:07, Reply)
It matches.

(, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 0:13, Reply)
tall, dark and clever
fits several b3tans. And several million members of the world.

Besides Lampito likes supportive wrists
(, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 0:17, Reply)
I accept my defeat!

(, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 0:42, Reply)
Is that the Placebo effect?

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:43, Reply)
Eyeholes in a paper bag?
Or am I getting this wrong?
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:44, Reply)
You've got it right!

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:54, Reply)
MATE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuZIFvtx228&feature=related
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:45, Reply)
I'm pissing myself here.
Percy saying 'people who do this must be mentally ill'

I'm crying with laughter.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:46, Reply)
Janet Ellis was H A W T

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:47, Reply)
Better:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtF5L9bKfO8
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:54, Reply)
Ummmmm bread, bikes, sarcasm, tayyabs, me me me me me me me me

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:33, Reply)
wow sounds like me
if you minus the bike
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:53, Reply)
RANGE OF GEEKY LADIES AVAILABLE
between them they bake cakes, pole dance and know some crazy brainy shit
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:39, Reply)
LAAK?

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:58, Reply)
yeah
although I should have referred to the pie chart for more details.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:59, Reply)
Hmmm.
The only OTer I know well enough to do one of these for is dj, and he probably wouldn't appreciate the witty things IO could say about him.

That, and he's already been thieved by some pikey Scouser...
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:40, Reply)
Ah, go on.
He's not here; we won't tell.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:41, Reply)
more than my job's worth, guvnor

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:42, Reply)
LARPer seeking LARPee.
Must like orcs, elves and make-believe-spells and shit. Only the photogenic considered.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:41, Reply)
*uses on online profile*

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:43, Reply)
I can't do this without sounding a twat, so I'll leave mine unwritten

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:47, Reply)
like anyone worries about looking like a twat on here

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:49, Reply)
I do
I'm aware I'm viewed as a twat, and I know there are several on here who think I'm a complete cock.

I hate knowing that, it irritates me far more than it should.
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:52, Reply)
You- must like Supernoodles, Supernatural and Shit nights out
Me: Can bore on many subjects, passable if you squint and an excellent pub-quiz team acquisition
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:50, Reply)
You could add, in brackets - (especially the curry ones)

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:53, Reply)
Never actually watched Supernatural

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:53, Reply)
Oh bugger off with the self deprecation.

(, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 0:05, Reply)
That was a compliment btw.
I'm not insinuating that you should bugger off.
(, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 0:06, Reply)
Science-sexpot seeks manly-man with large cock
for lab-related-disasters of the biological kind
(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:54, Reply)
Applebite?

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:56, Reply)
Berk

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:56, Reply)
Whoops

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:58, Reply)
+ must like home baked cakes and be understanding of storage heaters?

(, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:56, Reply)
Fuck off
No one is understanding of storage heaters.
(, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 0:06, Reply)
YOU COULD 'DO' ME FOR SOLICITING
Young professional female seeks man for long walks on Caribbean sands and scat-tastic funtimes. GSOH a plus, particularly in relation to hair products, over-priced salads and pink accessories.
(, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 0:07, Reply)
Where is Swipey, anyway?

(, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 0:13, Reply)
holidays. I am fighting the envy

(, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 0:14, Reply)
Jamaica I presume.
She said she was going there for Christmas.
(, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 0:14, Reply)
Jamaica.
Assuming her 'plane was able to take off.
(, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 0:14, Reply)
I think she went 'cos she wanted to.

(, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 0:15, Reply)
*Throws drum kit off cliff*
*Goes to bed*
(, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 0:17, Reply)
Night DG

(, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 0:20, Reply)

« Go Back | Reply To This »

Pages: Latest, 837, 836, 835, 834, 833, ... 1