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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Right.
I'm wobbly, my gifts are wrapped, and I'm about to put some music on.

What have I forgotten?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 21:54, 103 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
My present

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 22:13, Reply)
Evvening Bob!
How wsa the curry? What did you have and where did you go?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 22:19, Reply)
British raj in westbury
Mixed kebab then some tandoori chicken. Was nice but home now for phone call to Uni girl
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 22:27, Reply)
You bender.
Speaking to a bird on Christmas eve.

Give her a bell tomorrow.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 22:27, Reply)
Nah I like her she is cool.
What you doing tomorrow then pal?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 22:31, Reply)
I'm cooking and I'm going to get fucked up on alcohol.
Basically, it is just another day, but I can justify lunchtime drinking for once.

I'm looking forward to seeing my nephew and neices on Christmas night though, they fuckin' love it.

My sister and brother in law will be shattered, but I'm happy to wind the kids up a bit more!

I still hate Christmas though.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 22:33, Reply)

have the best day you possibly can poodle pumper.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 22:55, Reply)
I will do Bob, you too.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:00, Reply)
word to your mother, the way I see it is whatever happens I'm getting fable 3 and am going out at 8 o clock
so fuck it how bad can it be?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:03, Reply)
READS
I'll be down Turbo Island by lunchtime.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:06, Reply)
crack is really moreish

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:07, Reply)
They are piss-heads, no smack-heads.
You know NOTHING.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:16, Reply)
it was a reference to peep show night you bum

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:24, Reply)
Fucking an Afghan Hound

(Bazongaloid, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 22:33, Reply)
I'm not sure I've been THAT good.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 22:34, Reply)
Holla bitch.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 22:37, Reply)
You still bored and off the tabs?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 22:38, Reply)
Yesish and yes.
I have even more reason to be angry now, but I'm tired and I had a bath instead and I might even have some rice cakes.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 22:40, Reply)
You need a menthol.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 22:43, Reply)
I do have kreteks
Had about 6 in town t'other day, and just smelt of Christmas rather than fags.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 22:44, Reply)
Have a crafty one out the window.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 22:52, Reply)
Would NOT get away with this.
It's a shame, I could have had one in the bathroom and blamed the ensuing spicy smell on my shampoo or something.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 22:53, Reply)
Why not say to your folks
'You've failed as parents, I'm a smoker'
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 22:55, Reply)
They used to be, too.
It's not worth the drama though. Less than 5 days to endure.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 22:56, Reply)
Well you might as well give up smoking then!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 22:57, Reply)
pfffft, quitting is for losers.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 22:58, Reply)
While I'm home, yes.
As soon as I'm into Euston it'll be whip out and light up, and try not to fall over.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 22:58, Reply)
Do you not think it is worth mentioning to them that you enjoy the 'odd tab'
It doesn't make you out as a smoker, rather an occasional smoker?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:03, Reply)
They get very upset about me
And they're very anxious about me damaging my physical health. Which is hilarious as I'm fat.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:06, Reply)
I've seen photos of you.
You're not fat.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:08, Reply)
Kind of you to say
but I try to dress in a way that flatters my shape and I'm pretty overweight.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:24, Reply)
If you want to get really fat.
Get married to me.

Seems to be the way it works, you give up on yourself.

*Bitter, much?*
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:29, Reply)
:(
There is no man in my life- well, no man worth liking, anyway- so I've given up on myself without having to get married to you.

But I'm sorry you're bitter. I hope you find a nice bitch to fuck the pain away for you.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:33, Reply)
Thing is, size isn't important.
It's being told you've you've got from a 14 to a 22 that is YOUR fault that pains.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:38, Reply)
Oh. Now that is out of order.
Were you injecting her with bacon grease as she slept? No?

Women are fucking irrational. I know I've been a reet irrational crazy bitch to people, it must be in our way.
Go gay, Jeff. Or continue fucking dogs. They'll stay loyal.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:40, Reply)
Nah, I like clunge.
And tits.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:44, Reply)
I like penises.
I also like breasts and pretty faces and soft lips, but am not a fan of cunnilingus. It makes me an unsatisfying and one-sided lesbian.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:46, Reply)
Your sense of merriment and good cheer?

(berk, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 22:51, Reply)
Fuck off you cake baking freak.
I don't mean it berk, I'd wish you a Happy Christmas, but it would make me feel dirty

Christmas is fucking bent.

How are you?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 22:54, Reply)
That's not very nice
*trembly lip* i'm not bad, spent most of the day cooking so i'm fair knackered. At my parents on my phone, so don't expect a quick reply! How's you jeff?
(berk, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 22:59, Reply)
I'm good berk.
I'm offering better tidings to people than I want in return.

You stop trembling that lip, the line after calling you a freak was in small text, so you're safe from my festive wrath. Are you cooking tomorrow?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:02, Reply)
indeed I am
Beef wellington. I got an ice cream maker for christmas so I shall be making something nommy for afters with it.
(berk, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:11, Reply)
You got an ice-cream maker for for christmas?
Did your parents refuse the final gamble on Bullseye?

Granted, I look forward to hearing about your ice-cream making, but it seems like a strange request for someone so cold, thank to the storage heaters.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:15, Reply)
yeah, but I really like ice cream
And it's nigh impossible to find my favourite flavour in this country.
(berk, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:19, Reply)
what is your favourite flavour?

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:21, Reply)
hazelnut
MmmmmMMMMmmm - edit - how's holland?
(berk, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:23, Reply)
NUTS!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:28, Reply)
It's very cold - negative 6 outside.
but I'm toasty in bed with a cat to cuddle so it's not all bad.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:29, Reply)
I'm going to jump in with the greetings
Alright kid. Hope you're well!
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:34, Reply)
Happy foreign Christmas Poppet.
Has your trip been to your expectations?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:39, Reply)
In answer to your question about 3 days ago
they went very well, thanks. I spent a lot of today (read: about 6 hours) doing this pretty much single-handedly. The icing was well neat and festive...on the inside of the joins /facepalms

Alles schläft?
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 22:55, Reply)
that is frickin awesome

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 22:57, Reply)
Tastes fucking good too.
I made the royal icing from scratch, too. -is smug- Just a shame it's a bit wonky. Am claiming it's inspired by Tim Burton, his houses are never straight.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 22:58, Reply)
It's avant garde and is a visionary piece highlighting the crooked nature of modern day family life.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 22:59, Reply)
And I'm a spazcook.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:03, Reply)
I think if we want maximum exposure we should keep that bit under wraps
lucky you have me around to manage your career cause otherwise you would properly fuck it up!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:03, Reply)
Haha
I can't cook. I can bake. And apparently make a nice aubergine dip.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:05, Reply)
baking is the new 'insert cooking fad'
have you not seen that extreme cake show or whatever it is?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:06, Reply)
No, never
I bake very sweet things and I tend not to give a shit about what they look like. Though I have to admit my pizzas are pretty damn good, cheaper and nicer than this takeaway shit with only a little more of the effort.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:26, Reply)
What does your best pizza come topped with?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:28, Reply)
Passata (no bits), lots of black pepper (fresh ground), basil, oregano, herbes de provence
torn mozzarella, sometimes chopped garlic. And depending on the mood sometimes capers.
EDIT: So, yeah, cheese and tomato.

Though I have made a lovely one with no tomato, peccorino (strong sheep's cheese), spinach, egg and rock salt.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:30, Reply)
Capers?
GET THE FUCK OFF THE INTERNET.

You'll give us all AIDS.

What are you thinking?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:32, Reply)
I quite like them
Little tiny balls of savoury. Less keen on olives though.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:34, Reply)
You freak.
You'll be telling me you like olives next.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:40, Reply)
No, I don't like olives.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:41, Reply)
What other freak food do you like?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:43, Reply)
Love garlic.
And Marmite. And artificial raspberry ripple ice cream.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:47, Reply)
Nothing wrong with that.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:49, Reply)
Then what's wrong with capers?
I hate vinegar, raw tomatoes, the texture of onions and too much lemon juice in savoury foods.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:50, Reply)
Fucking heathens.
Send me your olives. I'll scoff 'em.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:43, Reply)
We have over 6 types/jars in the fridge
Sister and father are obsessed.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:47, Reply)
Where do you live?
I've got a big fast mile muncher although I'm in no fit state to drive it now.

In fact I'm not too sure where I left it.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:51, Reply)
At the moment, I'm a few miles south of the centre of Manchester
But I wouldn't drive if I were you, I think there's still quite a bit of snow here.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:52, Reply)
i 'm on my phone
So I can't click the link, but I remember you saying you were making a gingerbread house? If so, cool! And i'm glad your biscuits turned out well, I shall be making some tomorrow because I didn't have time today.
(berk, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:01, Reply)
I really like using honey
I didn't have any dark muscovado sugar so I added a bit of treacle instead. And yes, it's a house. I plaited strawberry laces to make a wreath for the door.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:02, Reply)
Photo?
EDIT: Sorry, seen the photo, that looks fantastic.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:04, Reply)
Of the house?
It's up there.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:05, Reply)
That looks wonderful.
Will you be going with icing-sugar snow?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:07, Reply)
pure
peruvian coccaine. fuck the tabs, 'mum, dad merry christmas'
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:08, Reply)
That'll be costly.
Unless you've got a hot-line to Montys' mates!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:10, Reply)
I'm convinced that at some point monty will have given head for smack,
he just seems like the type.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:12, Reply)
Nah.
Monty has too much to live for.

He strikes me as a top bloke, lovely daughter, fit bird and everything to live for.

He'll be fine.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:17, Reply)
gay

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:24, Reply)
My reply or Monty?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:27, Reply)
EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD IS GAY

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:28, Reply)
+ FACT

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:42, Reply)
former

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:29, Reply)
Are you going to come to bash next year?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:42, Reply)
yes

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 25 Dec 2010, 2:01, Reply)
Nah, I think any more sugar and it'd cause diabetes from a 30cm radius.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:29, Reply)
You're all fucking retards, so y'are.
Been drinking heavily since 12, and rather than go to bed like a nice person would I've poured myself a generous shot of vodka and logged on here.

Errrm...so stick THAT up yer bollocks. Haa haa haa.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:23, Reply)
Evening TD
Christmas is FUCKING BENT.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:26, Reply)
Most things are
From my current perspective.

If there was some sort of endurance drinking contest at the 2012 Olympics I'd be in with a shout. I've bunged all sorts of stuff down me today and I'm still fairly perky.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:32, Reply)
I'd pitch myself as a medal contender. It'll take someone special
To take the 'cloudy cider' event.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:41, Reply)
I'm struggling now.
I'm far more ratted than I thought I was.

But I haven't got long to go until Dec 25th and fuck me I'll do it.

Do we get a badge or something?
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:48, Reply)
If I knew how paint worked, I'd make one. But I don't.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:50, Reply)
*something witty*
Christmas. I miss my kid. Comfort tomorrow is bacon sandwiches and last-minute wrapping, then dinner with my family.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:50, Reply)
Have you not got your little 'un tomorrow?
Sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:51, Reply)
She's in Lanzerote with her mum's folks.
I'm jealous, but not so much. We'll have Christmas on Monday.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 25 Dec 2010, 0:01, Reply)
:(
Hope you have a good one, Noel.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:51, Reply)
I will hon, you too :)

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 25 Dec 2010, 0:02, Reply)
I've seen in Christmas, I'm off to sleep now.
All the best to you!
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 25 Dec 2010, 0:03, Reply)
Someone has a few minutes to crack open an Xmas 2010 thread
I'm going for a smoke but I'll be back.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 23:54, Reply)

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