Disasterprone met my girlfriend last night
And spoke to her and shook her hand and can therefore confirm that she exists in corporeal form and is not a figment of my imagination or ANYTHING

That has nothing to do with my stunningly original question - what are you lot up to tonight then? - I just wanted to let you all know.

As you were.

Alt Q - New Year's resolutions? Which one do you expect to break fastest? Mine is to cut back on the booze, in both cases.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:04, 52 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm going to a house party with my friend.
And my nyres is to enjoy myself more. And to study hard. And to get at least 1 job within 3 weeks of starting uni so I can save up to come back.
I have a feeling the enjoyment may be sacrificed for my study and work but hey!
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:15, Reply)

These are all very noble intentions
and I wish you all the best in maintaining them for as long as possible. My main one is to lose some bloody weight, the cutting back on drink is a means to an end, so I'll probably end up drinking the same amount but spending more time on the treadmill
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:22, Reply)

aha yeah well it'll be good.
I'm feeling much more positive in general of late, so it'll happen. :D
And you can lose weight if you change your diet too. lots of small meals instead of three massive heavy ones.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:25, Reply)

Good for you!
I don't actually eat all that much as it is, I should probably be thinner based on my diet and the amount of dancing I do
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:35, Reply)

haha, I eat stacks all the time.
but on this trip my diet's been very different from normal. I've lost weight, then put it back on.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:50, Reply)

Are you pregnant?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:52, Reply)

Don't panic, Al
You can't get a woman pregnant by fantasizing about her whilst masturbating furiously in your work toilets
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:57, Reply)

You can if she's there

(PsychoChomp, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 9:59, Reply)

fucking hell I hope not.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:57, Reply)

I'm staying in and staying sober, playing guitar and messing with my synth, maybe writing a little music, getting to bed at a reasonable hour.
My New Year's resolutions are to keep playing my guitar and start writing music again. And to be nicer to people asking fucking laborious questions on Off Topic.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:30, Reply)

Good for you on most counts
but that last one is nonsense. You already have a reputation as the nicest of B3tans, just get stuck in if someone's being stupidly self-indulgent.

*braces*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:36, Reply)

You just want him to get stuck in you massive bumder

(Bazongaloid, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:38, Reply)

Nah man you're alright, a bit gay but that never hurt anyone.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:38, Reply)

Most b3tans are actually lovely in my experience.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:40, Reply)

Hot gossip
Who are the wankers that make your skin crawl?
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:44, Reply)

ahaha not even going there.
nice try though. :P
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:45, Reply)

Gaz me up

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:46, Reply)

Have you caught any going through your used underwear?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:45, Reply)

Only Monty

(Bazongaloid, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:47, Reply)

Ah, so that's the source of his 'special homemade broth' with added chunks

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:48, Reply)

nope.
and that's a very disturbing thought.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:48, Reply)

It's happened, you just haven't witnessed it

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:49, Reply)

please don't ever say that again!
I feel a bit violated now...
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:50, Reply)

Just think how violated you could have felt if you'd stayed with Edmund.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:51, Reply)

*shudder*

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:55, Reply)

My work here is done

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:52, Reply)

Dozer
Although he makes me laugh more than creeps me out. At him, not with him. Not ever with him.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:52, Reply)

Terrible bullying

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:54, Reply)

You're quite right, he is a terrible bully
When you can't even do bullying well it really is time to reassess your life choices
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:58, Reply)

I don't know why you consider me a bully.
Really, I don't. Nobody else does.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 12:41, Reply)

I don't consider you a bully
I consider you a dickhead
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 13:03, Reply)

to be fair, you could have just given him the link to LMGTFY.
which would have been equally funny.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:36, Reply)

Yeah, doing that on my phone is a pain in the arse.
I prefer to be a little more creative fifteen minutes after I've woken up.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:38, Reply)

see I would just go "pfft, fuck off, not answering that"
and gone back to sleep.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:41, Reply)

I like to be poetic in my abuse if at all possible.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:45, Reply)

I was going to Brighton but I think I'm going to Shoreditch now.
So I can start early on my resolution of making sure I'm surrounded by total knobheads at all times. Also so I can celebrate new years in an ironic fashion.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:40, Reply)

shoreditch in london?

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:42, Reply)

No, the one in Southampton

(Bazongaloid, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:43, Reply)

I didn't know there was more then one...
that's confusing.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:44, Reply)

There isn't I'm lying

(Bazongaloid, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:47, Reply)

you rat-bastard.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:49, Reply)

You think that's bad,
I haven't mentioned the cricket yet
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:59, Reply)

that's not something that registers on my list of things to care about.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 31 Dec 2010, 9:00, Reply)

DAMN
Find me an Australian who cares about cricket! I havne't mocked ANYONE yet!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 9:01, Reply)

It's pretty annoying that the easiest Australian to mock
doesn't care.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 9:48, Reply)

I'm going with cutting back the booze too
Partly to lose weight, partly to make fewer poor decisions late in the evening, and partly to be less of a cock.

This evening I will be off to Shrewsbury for a dinner party and some alcohol. But not too much.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 9:11, Reply)

The third reason is why people drink in the first place.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 9:14, Reply)

I'm off to drum at a ceilidh
Then head to a friend's house/party after the bells to stay up far too late talking crap, and possibly playing with Scalectrix.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 9:35, Reply)

i won't be breaking mine
i am very stubborn.

but i won't be enjoying january AT ALL either!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Oh, this again.
Bezzie's birthday, back to London for what is going to be an increasingly disappointing party for the girl concerned.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 10:08, Reply)

I thought you had lots of nice gifts and champagne?
How can your bezzie be 'meh' about that?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 10:24, Reply)

CALLING ALL DIETERS
I just received the following:
An updated request from our friends over at Optomen Television:

Are you about to start a CRASH DIET?
Do you plan on losing a LOT of weight in VERY LITTLE time? We are looking for dieters who want to shed pounds over the new year for a new Channel 4 documentary.
(gaz me for the contact details)

So there you go. Channel 4 wants you to do something dangerous and irresponsible for cheap TV. But you'll get to be on the telly!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 10:15, Reply)