can't promise that
i'll get there much faster if i don't!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 17:37, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

How fast do you usually drive on the M6 toll?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 17:38, Reply)

under 99mph after my dad got clobbered for it
he was soooo lucky - he was in the patrol car being clobbered when an announcement came on the radio that a dangerous criminal was running down the m6 toll. the policeman turned to my dad and said, "did you hear that sir? it was your lucky day. now piss off."

this being said, extravagant beast though i normally am in every other respect, i never use the toll unless there is traffic on the m6 because £5 is a fucking massive ripoff.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 17:47, Reply)

And a £10 salad in a bargain.
You mentalist.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 17:50, Reply)

the salad is tasty
the m6 toll is a rip off. it was ok when it was £2.50, but i am not adding a tenner to my journey when the petrol is already £100!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 17:51, Reply)

My mum, in the 70s or whatever, was driving down the motorway at 100mph.
A police car started chasing her and eventually she noticed and pulled over. The copper said "Don't you look in your rear mirrors?" and she goes "Not when driving 100 miles an hour I don't". He laughed and let her off.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 18:01, Reply)

this is going in my book for in case i get stopped
along with pressing the elbows together to deepen the cleavage and fluttering the eyelashes
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 18:09, Reply)

I reckon practice makes perfect, best get the opinion of someone else, someone else with fluffy hair, to see if it would work.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 18:29, Reply)

*waves*
I was going to suggest driving fast & recklessly to get home quicker. But what sort of an internet husband would that make me?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 17:40, Reply)

It would make you a good one.
Those chips aren't going to cook themselves are they?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 17:41, Reply)

You have a valid point
i'm still at work, but I seem to be over my earlier internet breakdown. I have my house back now, all is as it was...
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 17:44, Reply)

why are you at work on a bank holiday?
do you want me to call your boss and sort him out!?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 17:50, Reply)

No holiday for me, not even bank holidays
but after the 31st January deadline it all calms down again.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 17:52, Reply)

and then you can sod off skiing or diving, nice

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 17:53, Reply)

Yeah, i'm looking forward to skiing again
It's been 2 years since I last went, which is long enough to forget how scary it can be.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 17:56, Reply)

i've never actually been skiing
must give it a try. i really fancy apres-ski though.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 17:59, Reply)

I personally can't stand yoghurt (sorry, bad joke that probably doesn't make sense any more)
right, i'm orf.

Drive safely.
If you can't drive safely, wear a seatbelt.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 18:11, Reply)

one who has taken out a massive life insurance policy

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 17:43, Reply)

Insurance fraud you say?
the basis for about 50% of all 80's crime shows.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 17:46, Reply)

one who knows his internet wife all too well!
happy new year sexbomb
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 17:46, Reply)

Hi babe
Hope it was a good one. Mine was a bit tame, but then I was cuddling a very frightened tabby that doesn't like fireworks.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 17:48, Reply)

cotton wool in her ears maybe??
or would she hate that even more?

mine was great fun, thanks, although we had far too many babies in the house for my liking. the last few of us finished at about 6.30am. the children then got up at 7am. you don't know what hell is until you've had to sit through a magic show that makes tommy cooper look like david blaine after 30 mins sleep and a 13 hour drinking session...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 17:50, Reply)

Babies eh? Ghastly things.
My friends had their baby 3pm NYE. Right on schedule.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 17:54, Reply)

they make too much noise when you have a hangover
and you just want to lie in your quiet comfortable bed with sweetly scented sheets being fed paracetamol and icy cold evian/diet coke at regular intervals. not watching a red cloth that is meant to turn blue stay resolutely red.

what did they have and are they going to name this one coloneldracula??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 17:58, Reply)

What's that about cloths?
Have you gone mentaloid?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 18:03, Reply)

A girl, but I don't think they were going to name it after me anyway (spoil sports)

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 18:03, Reply)

dracula is ALWAYS a good name

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 18:08, Reply)