What was the last text or gaz you received?
I've just received a gaz reply that simply reads...

*Buys bra*

So what were you last sent, either to your mobile, or to your gaz-box?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:26, 97 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I am unable to participate in this thread.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:28, Reply)

Ditto
but for different reasons, I'd imagine.
( Kroney, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:29, Reply)

My last vaguely interesting gaz was
"Not bad at all, old boy."
(PsychoChomp, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Hmmm... I'm really that dull?

( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:33, Reply)

That was work talk,
and I am planning on applying for that job tonight, depending if I get this date or not.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:34, Reply)

last non work email was this
"Of course she loves me, I'm charming and witty. Did you tell her that *** has been playing away and suchlike? That will surely seal the deal. Unless that's breaking the bro-code.

I loved the Narnia books but the films are spoiled for me by the terrible acting by the children. I know they're only kids, but there must be more talented actors out there than those spastics. I do want to see it though, I heart Liam Neeson.

Who's the girl you're 'relatively' (I read desperately and soul crushingly) interested in?

I bet you can all guess who that's from
(PsychoChomp, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:33, Reply)

I'm guessing
the girl's brother?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:00, Reply)

Kitty

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:28, Reply)

yep

(PsychoChomp, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:30, Reply)

My last gaz was from Crow, telling me about a few ales I should keep an eye out for
This was due to me sending him one at about 1:30am, saying how much I was enjoying the Hobgoblin.

Last text I received was a joke I'd just sent, my friend wanted to forward it to others, but instead just sent it back to me.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:33, Reply)

was it from BGB?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Thank you for my very first cockgaz

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:33, Reply)

not even for one second
am i going to reveal that. firstly no-one cares, and secondly, your screens would turn blue.

however, i will relate one i got from my friend who is still being pestered by the soppy twat from the intenet dating. she told him she was busy for at least a week. he replied:

"no worries beautiful young lady, hugz. i will just have to make up for lost hugz with some intensive hug therapy next week. hugz lol xxx"

i nearly fell off my bed laughing when i got that.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:34, Reply)

You'd make my PC crash?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Hugz4u lols

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:37, Reply)

That guy sounds like a proper mental manchild.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:38, Reply)

the covering text from my friend said
"oh my god, it's gone into hug overdrive. check this out..."

i love iphones, you can just copy and paste texts to forward them. hours of entertainment.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:40, Reply)

oh man I wish my phone could do that.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:41, Reply)

lucky you don't have any messages worth forwarding, then

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:46, Reply)

Newsflash: You have been able to do that on everyother smartphone (and some stupid phones) for YEARS
I was ranting about how annoyed I get at Apple making fucking HUGE songs and dances about irrelevant shit that every other phone has had for ages and eveyone gets excited because finally their shitty iphone can do the same things as my 3 year old Nokia
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:42, Reply)

Same here. The iPad is a case in point.
Apple dress up technology in pretty clothes and claim a revolution. It gets right on my wick.

Edit: With half the functionality, mind you. The iPhone is one of the most locked down pieces of technology out there. If I'm spending 400 pounds on a piece of kit, I want to be able to play with it, thanks.
( Kroney, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:44, Reply)

Yeah I have a £70 vodafone own brand (yeah my cool points just went up) android phone
and it's pretty funky actually. Does most things my Desire did just slower and with a smaller less shiny screen :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:48, Reply)

I'm using a Nokia n900.
Kind of wish I'd gone Android now, though. Android's a good mix of ease of use and function. Maemo's great for building shit on but I have now realised that I don't have the time or inclination for heavy dev work
( Kroney, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Why did you get rid of the Desire?
I'm considering getting one.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:51, Reply)

IT WAS STOLEN
keep up
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:53, Reply)

I didn't know.
Was it a fine phone? Or a bit 'meh'?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:02, Reply)

someone on here once said
"aren't they for people who can't afford an iphone"

which i thought was odd because my iphone was absolute peanuts - about £40, i think (sorry roota) - when i took another 2 year contract out with orange.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Actually I'm going to edit this out
No way are you daft enough not to know how loans work.
( Kroney, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:57, Reply)

Same can be said for any contract phone then

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:59, Reply)

Yes indeed.

( Kroney, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:00, Reply)

Yes it can, but you don't really think the phone only cost £40 do you?
If that was the case I could say my phone was free, but I know I'm paying for it in the contract.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:01, Reply)

Of course I don't :)
The iPhone is a good phone. Other good phones include most HTC's, and SE make some decent ones too. Ultimately, you get the phone that fits what you want, and for a lot of people the iPhone combines specs with the usability they need.
I love my iPhone, and I like a lot of Apple products, but I'm no fanboy for sure.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:05, Reply)

Now you think I'm slagging off Apple things

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:09, Reply)

Calm down, calm down
*does calm down scouser voice*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:05, Reply)

it's him! ^
he thinks that by daring to say that a contract i-phone actually cost more than £40 that I'm slagging it off. Or something.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:16, Reply)

that was in context ya numpty!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:59, Reply)

second newflash: i am beyond shit with technology
i didn't even know the iphone could do it until my friends started forwarding texts to me. also i managed to move all the icons around when twatted on tue night, and have no idea how it happened or how to move them back, so i can't find anything :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:44, Reply)

It's not the functionality
is the user-friendliness of Apple stuff that does it.

I agree about the adverstising, entirely. Apple piss me off. Yet I still have an iPhone, a macbook and I run my home AV stuff on a mac mini. Nothing else comes close for the sheer function-to-usability-to lack of effort ratios. I could make PCs do what I needed but it would require effort, and the time taken is worth more to me then the extra cost of Apple stuff.

Still don't get the iPad, mind you.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:47, Reply)

About the only thing I could use
is an Apple TV box, whatever they're called. I've got so many old PC bits at home though, so why would I buy something specialised for something I can build for free?
( Kroney, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:49, Reply)

because you already know about computer stuff
or can be bothered to learn? I don't, and I can't be arsed, and I have better things to do with my time. So, mac mini with an iRed into an AV amp also connected to my TV, HD box, DVD player and xbox. Run the whole thing from my iPod touch as a universal remote control. Piece of piss.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Fair enough, really.

( Kroney, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:55, Reply)

The problem is
people think if you have Apple stuff you're automatically some kind of fucking Apple fanboy and start going on about Apple shit and they I have to kill them and it takes ages to get the blood out of my jeans.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:00, Reply)

I just have issues with the way they present themselves.
It's like anything else, you buy what does the job best for your needs. If that's Apple, fine, at least you've researched it.

Anybody who buys anything simply because a particular company makes it, craps on about how great it is and cheers at release parties when said company reveals four year old tech in a pretty dress is a vacuous twat, whatever company they may be worshipping.
( Kroney, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:05, Reply)

I agree here wholeheartedly
But anti-apple fanboyism is just as tedious as apple fanboyism.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:09, Reply)

totally.
But because I own things doesn't mean I worship at their altar, and doesn't mean I wish to be engaged in conversation about the release date of OS XXXIV Scottish Wildcat by a complete stranger just because I have two products in front of me with the same logo.

leave me alone and I'll leave them alone.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:14, Reply)

I agree here
I specialise in Mac forensics, so keep up to date with all things Apple, but I can't stand the rabid Apple fanboys you get in the Apple store.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:17, Reply)

Indeed. I like PCs because they can do anything you want, if you know how.
Apples always have a limit.

But sometimes, in an extension of the old "PCs = toolbox" metaphor, all you need is a screwdriver.
( Kroney, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:15, Reply)

My desktop/gaming machine will always be Windows based
My laptop will always be Apple.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:18, Reply)

Again, fair enough, really.

( Kroney, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:25, Reply)

haha
I want the next Apple ad to be in the style of the ipod ads but with people sat on the sofa drinking beer

"Can't be assed to move? Get some apple stuff! It's well easy like*!"

*apple now use Geordies to sell their stuff
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:50, Reply)

they actually make pink ipads now
this might tip me into getting one.

they just look so pretty. there are only 2 stores at westfield that have queues to get in, and one is apple. the other is hollister, but that's blatantly because of the models in underwear who hang around the entrance.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:56, Reply)

There are cheaper pink A4 sized things, you know?
Just get a bit of pink cardboard and leave it on the coffee table with an apple sticker on it. Be about as much use.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:02, Reply)

Why would you want an iPad?
I know two people with them, both of them feel cheated. They admit they are little more than a vanity purchase.

You can't run any Div X or Flash applications on them.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:04, Reply)

I know three people with them who love them
And use them daily. They don't need DivX or Flash, because they can view video in other formats/codecs.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:10, Reply)

I've been looking at Android tablets for a while
but I don't have wifi at home so a portable DVD player would probably be cheaper and as much use.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:19, Reply)

Does the Samsung tablet run Android?

( Kroney, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Windows 7 innit?
Edit: oops no, the Samsung Galaxy tablet in the O2 shop is Android 2.2.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:30, Reply)

Interesting. I may look into that.
I'm stuck with a Maemo phone until spring 2012 and I want to play Angry Birds =(
( Kroney, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:35, Reply)

I've got angry birds on my Palm Pre
I'm on O2 so I might ask them about putting the tablet on my same contract (which has unlimited data). Then I can just switch between tablet and phone whichever is best at the time.

I suspect they won't go for it, but it might be worth trying.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:49, Reply)

they're too heavy
that's my main beef with them
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:31, Reply)

My old banger phone does that
But it looks like a taxi that's been in a shunt.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:49, Reply)

sounds like maxi to me.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:40, Reply)

maxi to
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Do you really think reading my posts
that I'm the sort of person to put "hugz" in a text?
(PsychoChomp, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:47, Reply)

You have a point there.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:57, Reply)

proper mental manchild cum guzzling cock behemoth
(TheColonel, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:41, Reply)

I think my last text said
Chinny McWobble *glees*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:36, Reply)

I think I know who sent that

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:38, Reply)

I think you probably do

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:39, Reply)

Prick

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:41, Reply)

I miss having that on my profile page

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:43, Reply)

I saved a pic of it for posterity

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:57, Reply)

I suspect my last* text, reading "oh bugger off then", may have been from a similar source.
*assuming you'd like me to overlook the ones about my nan's stroke because they're not all that funny
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:43, Reply)

It sounds like something they'd say
sorry about your nan
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Sorry to hear about your Nan, dude

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Cheers,
I think she's ok, apparently it was very minor and she's up and about again already.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Good to hear it
My Nan had one that knocked her a bit, but now she doesn't give a fuck. She told my chav aunt that she never liked her and to fuck off out of the family.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:57, Reply)

^This

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:54, Reply)

I have no "interesting" gazzes whatsoever
I think the last one in my inbox is from berk about the specific area of cancer research she is in. HOT TUMOUR ACTION.

My last text is in relation to phoning a hotel to block-book some rooms.

rock and - indeed - roll.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:42, Reply)

Mobile was my friend lamenting over her stupid tactless boyfriend
Last gaz was about "coffee. Mmm, coffee"
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:49, Reply)

My last gaz was from Roota
and related to a project I was dragging her into, that she said yes to, and that I then proceeded to do nothing about.

I suck.

EDIT: my last email was a fw from mr b3th that he was sending to a work colleague. He has no idea how I ended up on the address line, and now swears he didn't send it to me. I must have snuck into his study while he was in the shower and programmed his mail server to add me randomly to every fifth email.

Perhaps, on reflection, I super-rock.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:02, Reply)

Yeah, you totally suck, sis.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:08, Reply)

that's why the boys like me

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:09, Reply)

It's a winning skill ;)

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:19, Reply)

The last gaz is from Monty about Tayyabs
the one prior to that is a reply to the recipe I gave someone for my red onion marmalade and starts:
'Oh my word!'

Yeah, I'm an awesome cook.
(berk, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:03, Reply)

obligatory
o c
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:06, Reply)

Well, the key word was awesome, I suppose
I'd prefer to be a cook than a cock though.
(berk, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:10, Reply)

Yeah, but it was 'I am'
and not 'I have'. Replace the word 'awesome' with the word 'enormous' and relish the difference.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:12, Reply)

I would rather experience your awesome cooking

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:13, Reply)

Well, ask nicely
and you shall receive.

EDIT - technically, you already have. I've got a great (read: amusingly unflattering) photo of you at the London bash stuffing your face full of chocolate brownie that I've been too kind to post on the flickr pool.
(berk, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:15, Reply)

POOOOOST IIIIIIT

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:20, Reply)

Thank you for the brownie
And especially thank you for your kindness in not adding to the (vast) quantity of unflattering pics of me online. I owe you a pint!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:20, Reply)

Haha, you're welcome
looks like I will probably be bringing various nommable goodies to Amberl's, so you might get to try my non-caked based cooking then.
(berk, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:29, Reply)

Awesome! Will your car be working by then?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:30, Reply)

My car will be working by later today
Or tomorrow at the latest, I sincerely hope.
(berk, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:58, Reply)

obligatory
'm have
( Kroney, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:12, Reply)

My last text
was thanking me for a DVD Christmas present - turns out I had judged correctly that the series would appeal to that friend. Woo, go me!

Last gaz was "I like this too, but there needs to be more steak"
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:12, Reply)