If I'd not been accompanied by more sober and alert people on Saturday night
I would not have got back to where I was staying. I remember there being a Morrisons and a bus stop - I'm fairly sure I was asleep for the rest of it, even the bits I was walking.
At least I didn't fall over.

Oh, and my car died last week in quite a spectacular fashion - I had to flutter my eyelashes and play the helpless/useless woman card to get people to push me back home again. That was quite embarrassing.
(berk, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:18, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

"play"?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:20, Reply)

I knew exactly what was wrong with my car
I just had no way of fixing it or driving it back home safely.
(berk, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:21, Reply)

I suppose the more pressing question is "where?"

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:22, Reply)

Only a few minutes from my flat fortunately
trying to drive a car that has decided it will suddenly shoot up to 6000 rpm and charge off in to the distance is...interesting, shall we say.
(berk, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:25, Reply)

Christ, yeah that sounds more than a little unnerving.
So is it time to get it repaired or just write it off completely?
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:29, Reply)

Oh, I got it fixed, it's fine now
I just no longer have any savings.
(berk, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:30, Reply)

That's a bugger. Insurance wouldn't cover it then?

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:36, Reply)

No, my excess is fairly high anyway
and it wasn't worth losing my no claims for.
(berk, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:42, Reply)

Ah, fair point
(Funny how they set these schemes up to make you pay more and more money to them and then find loads of tricks to discourage you from taking any money from them, isn't it?)
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:44, Reply)

Been there, done that, it's actually quite a lot of fun!

(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:29, Reply)

In the alley behind her office
call reception and ask for "Debbie's Package" then go and wait for her. They'll sort out the rest. Bring cash.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:27, Reply)

You seemed ok when I left
how long were you guys at the pub?
(PsychoChomp, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:21, Reply)

I have absolutely no idea

(berk, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:23, Reply)

Long enough for me to wake up at 4am on my bathroom floor,
using a toilet roll as a pillow.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:24, Reply)

Ha ha, a friend once ended up asleep under an underpass
using a kfc family bucket as a pillow.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:25, Reply)

I once woke up in an alleyway,
using a big puddle of my own sick as a pillow.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:26, Reply)

You're all class wooks

(PsychoChomp, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:29, Reply)

I should wear a monocle and a bow tie.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:30, Reply)

Nice
I'm happy to say I wasn't as much of a drunken casualty as Clendrix reported you were.
(berk, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:26, Reply)

Yet more evidence in favour of my No Food When Drinking policy.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:27, Reply)

But food is important
as a drink-sponge...
(berk, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:28, Reply)

No, no, no.
Food slows down booze absorption, leading to me not realising that I can't drink any more a good pint after I should have.

Also, chunks.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:30, Reply)

I prefer the chunk to the empty retching
that tends to leave all the blood vessels in my eyes leaking their contents everywhere and the back of my throat leaking blood.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:33, Reply)

Eww
I don't normally get that sick even if I have a stomach bug.
(berk, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:35, Reply)

I prefer just liquid.
The burning-chunk-stuck-in-your-sinus is one of my least favourite sensations.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:41, Reply)

The first time I got norovirus
I ended up with a grape skin lodged in that bit that's not quite your nose and not quite your mouth. I concur that it's probably one of the least enjoyable sensations I've had.
(berk, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:44, Reply)

I find that food makes me more inclined to pace myself
leading to fewer instances of catastrophic overindulgence.

Or sometimes I catastrophically overindulge anyway and then try to mop up the excesses with takeaway. As you say. Chunks. Sometimes it works though.
(berk, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:34, Reply)

Are you going to Blousies?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:34, Reply)

Certainly am.
I've (mostly) behaved myself at the bashes I've been to though and I intend to continue in this manner.
(berk, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:37, Reply)

If the mrs doesnt come, I'm totally spiking your drink.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:41, Reply)

Woo!
I shall be the life and soul of the party this time, instead of sitting in the living room watching the TV.
( girlinthehole, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:42, Reply)

Haha, no drinking on friday evening for you then!
I shall come for more than 2 hours this time, and I've even got Aber's recipe for that green mojo stuff.
(berk, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:45, Reply)

Hopefully her and her lovely husband can make it.
After a 3 month holiday I'm not sure if they'll be able to.
( girlinthehole, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:49, Reply)

Am I still allowed to come along?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 16:07, Reply)

I'm sure nobody will mind you turning up
as long as you only dress in shades of grey.
(berk, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 16:09, Reply)

How about if I promise to not wear luminous colours this time?
As grey is boring and shit.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 16:12, Reply)

Can I express a preference that he doesn't turn up
I don't want to travel all that way only to have to put up with listening to Green Day the whole evening.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 16:13, Reply)

No, you can't.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 16:14, Reply)

A while.

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:25, Reply)

i got done for speeding last night for the first time ever
personally i think i should be congratulated for MANAGING to get up to a speed that is sufficient to constitute speeding in central london, but anyway. i didn't notice the blues and twos at first, until he pulled up beside me at the next set of traffic lights and made me wind down the window... doom.

he gave me a lecture about how it was a 30mph zone not a 60mph zone (my car is quick off the mark and i was in a hurry to get home but it's not that fucking quick) and said "you'd feel very sorry if a cyclist or pedestrian had got in front of you, wouldn't you?" i was on the a4 in the fast lane, and frankly it would have served the tosser right if they had hurdled the barrier to get in front of me, but needless to say i was very fluttery-eyelashed and penitent and he let me off. phew.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:32, Reply)

Fucks sake
that's so shit. He should have made you get out of your car, given you a stern lecture, a massive fine and then go to a police station to produce all your documents.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:34, Reply)

i don't think i was ACTUALLY speeding
i just took off and got up to 40mph very very quickly.

and pfffft, whilst he was doing that, another 15 people would have been raped/stabbed/murdered somewhere. he made the right decision and i didn't even have to suck him off.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:35, Reply)

Yes but 40mph
is still 10mph over the limit...
Not that I want you to get a ticket, obviously, but y'know... be careful eh?
(berk, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:37, Reply)

yeah
i am not 100% convinced he was right on that, i was just not dumb enough to argue the point with him. it's a dual carriageway and i'm pretty convinced it was a 40 zone. i will be checking next time!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:39, Reply)

Were there street lights?
Were there any signs saying "40"? If not it was a 30 zone.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:41, Reply)

it's the a4
between earls court and hammersmith. it's definitely a 40mph zone by the time you get to the flyover; i am just not sure where it starts. but it's a massive socking great dual carriageway; i wouldn't zoom off at high speeds on a side street!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:42, Reply)

Bollocks, you'd be all "I pay my taxes for this" whilst knocking back half a bottle of tequila
and sucking off some city boy while you chase down a single mother crossing at the lights.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:44, Reply)

hmmm
is she a minority and disabled? i'm not dirtying my car for nothing.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:46, Reply)

I don't care about rapists, stabbers or murderers.
They've never impacted my life, but people who drive to quickly in built up areas really piss me off. Especially the cunts on motorbikes who go up and down my road.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:39, Reply)

You've just reminded me.
There's been a copper with a hand held speed gun on my stretch of road a couple of times this week. I'd better be careful.
( girlinthehole, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:34, Reply)

So when you say you got done for speeding.
You mean you were stopped, but not done?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:38, Reply)

yes
sometimes it is good to be a girl
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:39, Reply)

Someone complimented me on my driving the other day.
They'd left a note in a yellow bag and stuck to the window that read, 'parking fine'.

So that was nice.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:41, Reply)

Hahaha!

( girlinthehole, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 15:45, Reply)