Avoiding work
Completed a Hanjie puzzle on my lunch break. Trying to cheer up my friend Jemma via the internal IM. She wants cock, bless her.

Alt Q - beer, and the sweet taste of televised victory
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:20, 5 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Tell her it gets easier after the 2nd year without.

( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:21, Reply)

No.
I'm trying to convince her that girls are better anyway. No stubble rash on the insides of the thighs, for starters.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:22, Reply)

Instead, you get it on your cheeks.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:23, Reply)

Is she hot?
Like real world hot not Norwich hot.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:28, Reply)

Yeah she is
Real world hot. Norwich extra-hot. Milton Keynes supernova
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:29, Reply)

Tell her to add me on fb then, I'm very charming and witty.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:30, Reply)

I cannot begin to comprehend how many things are wrong with this post
The only possible reason I can think of to suggest that she do such a thing is to express her righteous indignation that you of all people said her name was shit.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:32, Reply)

Ha ha,
go on, I want to make someone jealous there is nothing wrong with this plan at all.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:33, Reply)

actually wtf
your only friend on facebook called jemma is engaged.

/Great privacy settings by the way
(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:36, Reply)

I have no idea why people think you're a stalker
I have two FB friends called Jemma. Good skills there
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:38, Reply)

Oh yes,
now I know where you work :)
(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:43, Reply)

STALKMASTER awake!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:45, Reply)

Really?
My employer information isn't on my profile, how have you managed that?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:47, Reply)

It's on hers.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:56, Reply)

Which Jemma are you looking at?
I never said this Jemma was my friend on FB, anyway :-)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 16:04, Reply)

See
www.b3ta.com/questions/anon/post615785
and understand.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:57, Reply)

that was a thing of beauty

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 16:13, Reply)

My plan revolves mainly around streaming TV tonight.
I'll watch Weakest Link on iPlayer, as I won't be home in time, then after tea I'll try to get the match on.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:22, Reply)

You legend
Cheers mate
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:24, Reply)

oh yeah, as I am not going to be driving home from Dorset I can watch you
also, I understand that you might be on the television tonight
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:25, Reply)

Shhhhhh
I'm trying to keep it quiet.

It has occured to me that you lot are going to find out just how embarrassingly fey my voice is
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:30, Reply)

What time is it on?
Will sneak a peak at work.

On a related topic a family I know of farmers is auditioning for Eggheads today, god help the BBC.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:32, Reply)

A bunch of us considered having a pop at Eggheads a while back
but I think the Eggheads themselves seem like twats so I changed my mind.

5.15, thank you for asking
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:33, Reply)

I shall sit at my desk giggling?
Do you still have ridiculous hair?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:34, Reply)

Significantly less ridiculous
I think it was pretty restrained on the day
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:40, Reply)

I won't be able to catch the beginning unfortunately
how far through it does the Robinson mock you?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 16:07, Reply)

End of the first round
Five minutes in, top. She comes back for seconds after the third round though. She's only human.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 16:18, Reply)

hmmm
big boss is here so can't really slope off early unfortunately. Should be back to catch most of it though.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 16:21, Reply)

Can you get it on the i-player
I'm going into town after work to buy a football
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:35, Reply)

Yes you can
I checked. Several times
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:39, Reply)

First purchase for Everton this season, isn't it?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:39, Reply)

Whilst this is very funny
You are firmly in a glass house as regards transfer wisdom at the minute
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:42, Reply)

This^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:46, Reply)

Oh, I'm aware of that
But I fancied a laugh.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:59, Reply)

Jemma?
Tell her that her name is shit.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:23, Reply)

I doubt she had much choice in choosing it.

( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:24, Reply)

Is she a mental?
I had a Jemma once - she was a mental
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:25, Reply)

Why you asking me?
I don't know her.
( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:26, Reply)

WHY NOT?!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:30, Reply)

I'm shy.

( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:31, Reply)

She doesn't bite
probably.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:33, Reply)

Oh! I like the bitey ones.

( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:34, Reply)

The Jemma I knew bit
Maybe they all do
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:35, Reply)

She's lovely
She and I have a startling amount in common in terms of tastes and personality traits. Read into that what you will
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:30, Reply)

"She wants cock, bless her"
sounds like it.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:31, Reply)

*guffaw*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:36, Reply)

Then beat her parents to death with a mattock.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:26, Reply)

Pick or cutter?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:59, Reply)

Where?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:33, Reply)

Oh, I love hanjie
I haven't done one in ages. I can't remember the last time I turned my brain off, to be honest.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:57, Reply)