I don't care much for questions this evening.
I've been home for a while and managed to polish off two and a half pints of good cider, a strip of fantastically over-ripe brie with some crackers and chilli, and listened to two hours of music.

Fuck the subject line. What have you achieved today?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 17:38, 91 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Fuck all, Noellers. Fuck. All.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 17:49, Reply)

This evening
I am going to hide from my problems by going for some drinks.

That's how much of a HIGH ACHIEVING GO-GETTER I am.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 17:52, Reply)

This is brilliant, top internet.
What kind of drinks will you get? Will it be a pauper's pint, or a shot of something cheeky and rustic?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 17:53, Reply)

I taught the children about rythm and some of them got it!!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 17:58, Reply)

Some of them might even be able to spell it.
Sorry, I mean, awesome, rhythm is fundamental to human existence, if you've got any doubts, HEARTBEATS man. My first music teacher had us checking pulses for our entire first lesson.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:01, Reply)

that's what we did, felt a pulse then tapped it out, then listened to faster and slower beats
before clapping along in a 4 4 beat to this. www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0FOZ0-VpcU
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:04, Reply)

Nice work.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:08, Reply)

Dey got riddum?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:01, Reply)

sweet

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:28, Reply)

What cider have you enjoyed Noel?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:02, Reply)

So far, two bottles of Aspalls organic Suffolk
with one to go.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:09, Reply)

Oh good choice
Aspalls is lovely stuff
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:10, Reply)

it is
that peronelle blush stuff that they do is wonderful. it's on tap in my local. :)
(berk, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:12, Reply)

How did it go berk?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:13, Reply)

a lot better than the oxford one
although I still don't think I'll get it.
(berk, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:16, Reply)

God I couldn't drink pints of this, it'd melt me.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:14, Reply)

Ahh, I'm going to be drinking pints of scrumpy in Morpeth soon
Fucking lethal that stuff is!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:14, Reply)

During the 20Twenty world cup a couple of years ago it was Pakistan vs England in the final.
I work with a bunch of Pakistani guys, they're absolutely rabid about the sport as a culture, so I got caught up in the hype and went to my local to watch the match. They had some scrumpy variant on tap, drunk by the half-pint in a pint glass topped-up with ice. I remember the first one going down well, the second one, fucking lush. The next thing I remember is waking up the next morning with daughter going "Why did you decide to water all the plants in the house last night?"
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:21, Reply)

Hahaha!
Proper scrumpy is as tasty as it is lethal. The Tap in Morpeth sells it with a 2 pint limit.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:23, Reply)

noel, you shit
I have just frightened the bejesus out of the old lady sat next to me by bursting out laughing.
(berk, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:25, Reply)

I have a vague recollection of climbing on furniture to water the sansevieria on top of her wardrobe
and her waking up saying "What the bloody hell are you doing?!"
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:40, Reply)

not much
I polished off a massive salad that did nothing for me. I feel full yet completely unsatisfied.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:05, Reply)

Did you dress it?
Dressings make for good salads. That and the occasional naughty bit, like bacon or chicken or cheese.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:10, Reply)

yes, french dressing with chicken and feta
tasted awesome
but just didn't quell any hunger
off to chug some wahwah
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:12, Reply)

I assume this doesn't have anything to do with guitars.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:14, Reply)

oh pfft
water
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:20, Reply)

I tend to have a big glass of water before a meal.
It generally means I eat less.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:23, Reply)

Today I have mostly succeeded in working up quite a thirst.
I shall shortly be seeking to assuage that thirst, probably in a similar fashion to Mr Boyce.
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:05, Reply)

So tonight is beer night for OT?
*Gets involved*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:09, Reply)

Nothing so organised, I'm sure. Since I'm in the middle of That London,
I usually get a couple of jars on board before facing the Tube of an evening ...

The local's got Old Hooky on tap as guest at the moment.
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:15, Reply)

300 words of a 1000 word essay.
Not too bad, but that's over a whole day. I might just try and type it on the plane, where I won't have the distractions of INTERNET. Depends how long the flight is.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:07, Reply)

Going anywhere nice?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:09, Reply)

Belfast
I've never been to Northern Ireland, I'm a little excited.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:09, Reply)

Any particular reason?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:11, Reply)

My aunt is getting married.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:14, Reply)

Is that a predictive text mistake?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:14, Reply)

oooooooooooh

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:13, Reply)

my thesis
averaged 300 words a day. Mainly because I edited so heavily as I went, but word counts were murder
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:27, Reply)

Not much done at work, plodding on through cases
Have just made a nice stir fry with green thai sauce, jumbo prawns, carrots, spinach and broccoli.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:11, Reply)

well, since you ask
today I have had an interview for a phd in edinburgh. I think it went okay, although I probably won't get it, there were some very good candidates. i've been up since 4.45 and i'm dead, but I have cheesecake and wine for the train.
(berk, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:14, Reply)

Top train riding, that sounds awesome.
I might try and sort out some kind of cake/beverage combination for the bus to Oxford, that'd show my seatmate how it's done.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:18, Reply)

indeed
I must remember to get all the stuff for making pate and bakewell tart when I go food shopping this weekend..
(berk, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:23, Reply)

Is the tart for next week?
I have a vague recollection of something wonderful occurring.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:26, Reply)

yup
unless you have any other requests?
(berk, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:31, Reply)

Holy shit, I have a choice?
Oh damn, don't give me a choice, we'll be here all week.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:37, Reply)

well I think people have had brownies and carrot cake before
which are the two I do best, but yeah, if there's something you'd prefer to bakewell tart let me know and I'll see what I can do.
(berk, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:42, Reply)

Bakewell tart kicks arse, and I can only imagine from the quality of your former baked goods that it won't be a disppointment.
Carry on.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:46, Reply)

And I did ask berk. Up ^ there look.
Are you happier with how this interview went when you compare it to the last PhD interview?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:18, Reply)

and I answered you up there!
yes I am. even if I don't get it, it's still good interview practice. not that I have any more interviews lined up, but you know..in theory..
(berk, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:20, Reply)

Well I hope at the very least you get some great feedback.
What time is your train getting back in?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:29, Reply)

11pm
by the time I get home i'll have been awake nearly 20 hours, sad times :(
(berk, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:30, Reply)

Are you working tomorrow?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:31, Reply)

yes, sadly
and babysitting too!
(berk, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:43, Reply)

You'll sleep well tonight.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:53, Reply)

Fingers crossed you'll get it :)

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:25, Reply)

hopefully!
I may have a new year bash up there if I do, and if people want to go, of course..
(berk, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:28, Reply)

Good luck!
I'm proper excited for you
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:26, Reply)

solved some problems at work
taught some shit
gone to the gym
that'll fucking do. tea time now
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:25, Reply)

Fish fingers, chips and beans this evening?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:27, Reply)

sausages, mash and beans
close. I think I've eaten too much pasta lately
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:27, Reply)

Green beans and gravy
Or baked beans and council?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:31, Reply)

baked beans
I am proper ghetto.

Anything exciting happened to you today, jeff?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:33, Reply)

Not really.
I've been spammed more times than I care to count by Interflora and Bunches.co.uk over the last couple of days.

That annoys me a bit.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:54, Reply)

Pffft, I never get spam.
Either you use shit software or you've posted your email address all over the internet. Which is it Jeff, hmm, eh?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:55, Reply)

I've had the same webmail account for years
So that doesn't help.

Also, I've used both of these companies before. Not because I like buying women flowers, but because there are times when it's easier to spend money than it is to actually try and work out what it is you've done to annoy your other half.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:57, Reply)

does that ever actually work?
If I were pissed off I can't imagine that the person buying me stuff would be anything other than more annoying. It's like the material equivalent of *there there* only with more *shut the fuck up* patronisingness
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 19:00, Reply)

It did for a while.
Then I stopped caring. There are only so many time you can ask 'whats wrong?' only to be given the answer 'nothing' or 'if you've got to ask then you won't understand' before you give up.

Sometimes, for the quiet life, I'd apologise for something I hadn't done with flowers.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 19:02, Reply)

You live a wonderful life Jeff and no mistake.
Do they not have a handy "Remove me" link at the bottom of their emails? Most do. If they don't they deserve an irate phone call.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 19:01, Reply)

Probably.
I tend to just delete them.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 19:03, Reply)

brie is the only cheese i don't like
/fascinating rswipe fact
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:42, Reply)

not even toe cheese?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:43, Reply)

it's preferable to brie
so is tit-cheese.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:50, Reply)

what about knob cheese?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:50, Reply)

I like brie.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 19:01, Reply)

This was properly ripe too, right off your scale.
I prefer it when it's just about melting, before it starts to honk.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:50, Reply)

Camembert is great when it's in that state.
When you can dip bread in it without having to heat it or bake it first.

Yum.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 19:04, Reply)

The square root of fuck all.
I've been up for about ten minutes. Shouldn't have necked a load of Nytol last night.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:51, Reply)

But you're up in time to watch the football this evening Baz.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:55, Reply)

I won't be watching it.
I'd rather Fulham won a throw in than England won the World Cup.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 19:07, Reply)

What have you got against International fixtures?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 19:09, Reply)

Absolutely nothing.
I have nowt against England I just don't give a toss. I can't pretend I care because I don't. At all.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 19:21, Reply)

you crazy
young people and your drugs
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 19:08, Reply)

Is Mr Boyce still around?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:59, Reply)

I've done rather well at the gym which has pleased me.

( girlinthehole, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 19:06, Reply)

How many wallets did you steal from the changing rooms this evening Blousie?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 19:07, Reply)

Only the one.
The cleaner was mooching about so I had to be careful.
( girlinthehole, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 19:21, Reply)

Did I tell you about the time I found a wallet in El Segundo?
It was Q Tip's.

/hip hop joke.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 19:26, Reply)

Silly boy!

( girlinthehole, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 19:33, Reply)

It's funny!
And there's only really you and Monty that dig the wicky wicky.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 19:38, Reply)

Someone start a new thread please.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 19:34, Reply)

can someone read me the question please
I'm blind BLIND! !
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 19:56, Reply)