CUNTBOLLOCKSARSESHITCUNTFUCKINGCUNTSHIT.
My mother turns 60 this year and my ex is objecting to my taking my daughter on the most preposterous grounds I've ever heard:

'she won't know many people'

I pointed out that she'd better not ever start school then,on those grounds. Stupid fucking bitch.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:12, 9 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

That is a retarded excuse

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:12, Reply)

You're joking?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:13, Reply)

jesus fucking christ
surely by now you have grounds to have her committed to a secure facility on the basis that she is too fucking stupid to be allowed to be in general circulation?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:13, Reply)

Ordinarily I'd suggest a protracted course of logical argument
but I believe this has proven ineffective in the past. Assuming that having her committed is not an option, I suggest loading her into a trebuchet and flinging her at France
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:15, Reply)

I bet she likes football

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:15, Reply)

she is right though monty
it's not as if her dad would be there, or her grandmother, or her cousins, or as if she is THREE YEARS OLD AND THEREFORE NOT EXACTLY CONCERNED WITH THE USUAL SOCIAL NICETIES THAT HAMSTRING PEOPLE AT PARTIES...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:17, Reply)

She should just do what i do when I don't know anyone
Get hideously drunk, AND she can probably get away with crying and soiling herself.

This is why I don't come to bashes...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:20, Reply)

Will there be free food and wine?
If so I'll take her place.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:24, Reply)

it'd be like a bad sitcom
as monty pushes you around, bonnet on, dummy in mouth.

"yes this is len, yes she's very big for her age."
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:25, Reply)

big rapey
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:26, Reply)

Yes, she has Down's Syndrome.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:26, Reply)

this is really childish
this really made me laugh
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:27, Reply)

Hahah
'and smokes rather a lot for someone of her age - we're hoping it's just a phase'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:29, Reply)

yes auntie maude, she IS very fond of beer for a 3 year old female

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:31, Reply)

'Auntie Maude'?
I'm not from 'Coronation Street', you know.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:32, Reply)

i know
if you were, it would be auntie shazzer.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:35, Reply)

Don't be daft, he's Scotch
Auntie Haggis, maybe
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:40, Reply)

I am pro-haggis

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:43, Reply)

I'm now involved in a fucking hateful text war
which I urgently need to back away from. I'm supposed to be staying over at hers tonight but I am way too angry to set foot in her house at the moment and I have told her so.

*fumes*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:28, Reply)

surely the most important thing
is how much len would enjoy the party. tell her not to deprive her own daughter of a party!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:30, Reply)

Am I wrong to stay out of the way this evening?
The last thing I want to do is kick off in front of Eleni and I am so fucked off I fear I will struggle to control my temper.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:33, Reply)

it depends on what lies she might feed Len in your absence
about why you aren't there. If that's not an issue then your plan of action is the best one.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:35, Reply)

She's not old enough to know what day it is,
and will be in bed by 8pm anyway.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:38, Reply)

would you say that "she doesn't know if it's arsehole or breakfast time"?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:40, Reply)

Not personally, no.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:42, Reply)

interesting
*makes a note*

and how does that make you feel?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:45, Reply)

Tumescent....and wistful.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:50, Reply)

you'll miss her if you don't go

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:39, Reply)

I miss her every fucking day.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:40, Reply)

Instead of missing your child, have you tried a nice cold bottle of Yop? They come in all flavours these days, including peach.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:53, Reply)

The doc says if I have any more Yop my veins will collapse.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:58, Reply)

How about a couple of yakolts instead?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 16:02, Reply)

ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 16:09, Reply)

What about one of those Yops that aren't yop but they're forign and taste nicer, mostly ?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 16:25, Reply)

What about one of those Yops that aren't yop but they're forign and taste nicer, mostly ?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 16:25, Reply)

Just say "I'm sorry I got upset, I just was really looking forward to it and thought len would love it
can we talk about this tonight"

Add smilies as well.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:33, Reply)

She's already told me she won't discuss it tonight.
Plus she'll think someone's stolen my phone.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:34, Reply)

Yes suck it up and control your temper.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:35, Reply)

I agree with Chompy
for the umpteenth time this month.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:36, Reply)

I'm a reply spaz today though.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:39, Reply)

I know where you meant to put it.
Rapist.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:41, Reply)

Thanks, thief.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:51, Reply)

That's the point, it'll put her off guard.
Take the bit about talking about it tonight off and send it over, I bet she's waiting for an excuse to stop you coming over tonight don't give her one.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:37, Reply)

No, I think she's desperate to go out for the night.
Being reminded of the fact that I am a free babysitter on call whenever she likes and I can take that away if she's a cunt, might be a good idea.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:38, Reply)

You need Rasta Mouse.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:42, Reply)

give her wine
lots of it
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:45, Reply)

I need that wine for me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:51, Reply)

we're over 200 replies now
does that mean 2 news links?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 16:01, Reply)

Just the one thread from me. And no link.
This thread is making me very sad indeed.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 16:08, Reply)

if he hadn't given her one in the first place...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:38, Reply)

yeah
whilst it is actually a very sensible and thoughtful statement (albeit the product of a diseased manipulative mind), anyone who knows you really well would know that it wasn't sincere.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:36, Reply)

If she won't discuss it, is there a chance she realises you're in the right and she is trying to find a way of changing her mind without looking like you've won?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:37, Reply)

Don't let the babby miss out on seeing you tonight.
You brought the poor little thing into this world by banging that nutter.
Don't miss out on a visit. She'll give in when you calm down. She likes a ruck.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:34, Reply)