New thread just for the hell of it.
Make food dangerous. E.G. Ginger bread Man becomes Ninja Bread Man.

go.

alt q: I like this new idea to move the clocks forward two hours in the summer. Anyone not so keen?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:28, 70 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

chips
will clog up your arteries.

oh, wait...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:29, Reply)

Sandwiches turn into MEGA ZOMBIE SAMMICHES
/this post was brought to you by Psychochomp, it is deliberatly shit to highlight how fucking shit this thread is
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:30, Reply)

copyrite "Charming and Witty plc" all rights reserved subject to status, calls from mobiles will be considerably more
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:31, Reply)

Tell me about Saturday, did anyone put out? Did anyone settle for second best 'cus I didn't go?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:50, Reply)

I don't think so, I think it was the only bash I've been to without bodily fluids exchanged.
Berk and Kitty got hit on by the same bloke though, he was such a playa.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:54, Reply)

Did you pay him a fiver ealier so you could white knight them? That would have been soo smooth.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 16:01, Reply)

Ha ha nope
although Apple did say "he's so creepy I'd rather sit next to you" to me so it could have been a good plan.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 16:05, Reply)

Haha, you should have winked and said "That's the second best offer you're gonna get tonight, if you buy me another drink <b><i><u>,)</u></i></b>"

( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 16:13, Reply)

Crisps - Crips

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:31, Reply)

I like this.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:35, Reply)

LemonAIDS
What?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:31, Reply)

Hahah

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:48, Reply)

Bacon bazooka
Lamb cannon
Pork sword
Ham howitzer
Mutton musket

Did I misunderstand?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:36, Reply)

no, carry on...

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:39, Reply)

Spam javelin

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:49, Reply)

Beef bayonet

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:49, Reply)

Luncheon truncheon

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 21 Feb 2011, 16:07, Reply)

Tapioca trebuchet

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 21 Feb 2011, 16:08, Reply)

Veal Assaultimbocca

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:37, Reply)

Beef Wellington.
If you happen to be short and French.
( Kroney, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:38, Reply)

Hahaha
Very good sir, very good
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:41, Reply)

Surprise Bomb.

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:41, Reply)

Peanuts
If you have an allergy to peanuts.
( Peej, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:44, Reply)

move the clocks ahead 2 hours? what?

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:44, Reply)

I was just thinking the same

(Sadarse works like Mist condensing mud flaps, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:47, Reply)

The Scottish are whinging about living in perpetual night again.
They are proposing to move the clocks forward two hours for British Summer Time instead of one.
( Kroney, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:47, Reply)

No, the scots are against it
as it will mean it doesn't get light there until about 10am.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:48, Reply)

I'm with the group who say when the clocks go back an hour, they stay that way

(Sadarse works like Mist condensing mud flaps, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:49, Reply)

But they will burn and fear the shiny thing in the sky

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:50, Reply)

I would imagine that more people are bothered about it being dark at 3pm
than 10am.
( Kroney, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:55, Reply)

tell them to move

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:48, Reply)

What?
We don't fucking want them
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:50, Reply)

like because they totally have to like move where you are innit

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:51, Reply)

Well, nobody else will take them

(Bazongaloid, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:52, Reply)

they can come here

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:54, Reply)

But your lot can't understand them
and those that do think they're Irish
(Bazongaloid, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:54, Reply)

they're not?

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 16:02, Reply)

Wouldn't it be better to just not put it back in the winter and then start again as normal the year after
Rather than dumping 2 hours all at once. Anyone with young kids already has a hard enough time adjusting them to the one hour change.
( Peej, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:49, Reply)

Dunno, apparently it goes forward for summer by two hours
and then it's back to the back one hour, forward one hour pattern.
( Kroney, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:53, Reply)

Well my way of just not putting it back one winter is better
I personally am looking forward to it as I will be able to cycle home from work in the winter months without crashing in to every hedge no matter how good my lights are.
( Peej, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:58, Reply)

tell them to move then

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:49, Reply)

Hi, Kristine!

( Kroney, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:53, Reply)

Seafood
If you have an allergy to seafood
( Peej, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:45, Reply)

Dairy products
If you have an allergy to dairy products.
( Peej, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:46, Reply)

Chilli Bomb Carne
Chicken Gorema

This is rubbish, you nicked the only good one
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:47, Reply)

Soya
If you have an allergy to soya
( Peej, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:47, Reply)

Wheat
If you have an allergy to wheat
( Peej, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:47, Reply)

Proccessed Cheese Manufacting off-Produce, if you have an alogy to FUCK YOU PHILLYJOE, TOTALLY GOT IN THERE FIRST, AND IF I HAVEN'T, I'LL EDIT THIS POST.

( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:48, Reply)

Fuck you too Gonz!
Also, Fuck the horse you rode in on!

Oh I did peanuts first but they are a ground nut you can still have tree nuts if you get in there quick.
( Peej, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:50, Reply)

What are you talking about nuts for?

( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:54, Reply)

I have schizophrenia

( Peej, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:56, Reply)

Keep asking shit questions like this and I will 'go' alright.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:48, Reply)

We should start a new board.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:52, Reply)

One with an entrance exam.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 16:02, Reply)

Rape Suzette

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:48, Reply)

Excellent

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:50, Reply)

Ta la.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:50, Reply)

riiiiiiight
somebody threadjack it? please?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:49, Reply)

The clock idea
is a fucking shit idea, especially for anyone who's job involves working outside.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:49, Reply)

One thing's for certain, Al
Whether they do something about it, or nothing, plenty of people are going to have a good long bitch about it.
( Kroney, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:58, Reply)

I think a lot of people
who don't have an opinion will suddenly feel the urge to have an opinion when they would be better off fucking off and dying.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:59, Reply)

I predict these people are going to be all over
chat shows and news interviews for what will seem like eternity.

It will be the new "lol bankers' bonuses!" topic.
( Kroney, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 16:05, Reply)

www.cacaoweb.net/deathbychocolate.html
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:49, Reply)

Death by chocolate? I remember that episode of CSI

(Sadarse works like Mist condensing mud flaps, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:59, Reply)

You can fuck right off with moving the clocks anywhere from GMT
For us old style navigators the Sun is North at midday. I can't be arsed to learn all the correction factors necessary to accomodate 2 hours forward. Shove your sat nav up your rectum, and at the roundabout go fuck yourself.

As for dangerous food, I could do a lot of damage with a twiglit.

*and breathe*
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:51, Reply)

What's a twiglit?
I mean, I know what twiglets are...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:57, Reply)

Phosphorescent coating

( Kroney, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:58, Reply)

twiglit is that movie about the sparkly vampires that don't like sex.

( Peej, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:58, Reply)

I can't stand the little twig shaped bastards, so I spelt it incorrectly to show my contempt.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 16:00, Reply)

Soya becomes sayonara
Because if you're allergic etc....
(Sadarse works like Mist condensing mud flaps, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:57, Reply)