Woo! My nephew/Godson starts his trial at Newcastle United's academy tomorrow.
I know most of you couldn't give a shit about football, but I'm very pleased for him. It may not actually come to anything, but I don't care. It'll be a great experience for the talented little bugger, even if he is a Sunderland supporter. What has made you proud recently?

Alt: Monty, or virtually any popular culture reference?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Feb 2011, 21:55, 54 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Hey Pa!
WOO two weeks to go!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 21:57, Reply)

I KNOW!
It's very exciting.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Feb 2011, 22:00, Reply)

Isn't it just!
Means I get a THREE day weekend too! This is unheard of!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 22:01, Reply)

Are you looking forward to being chaufferred?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Feb 2011, 22:02, Reply)

Yes and I get to choose between Al and Wooks as my chauffeur

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 22:03, Reply)

Al's not coming though, is he?
Because if he is, I'll have to make up the shed.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Feb 2011, 22:05, Reply)

if he is then he'll
eat you out of house and home. Probably eat the dog too.

Oh he said BGBs I read it as "ooop norf" and thought of you. I didn't think you liked Al that much...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 22:15, Reply)

I read that as 'eat out the dog'
and was about to ask how come Jeff got an invite...
(berk, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 22:16, Reply)

I'd never eat that dog
it's far too sweet.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 22:17, Reply)

she is adorable and soppy and mental

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 22:18, Reply)

You are talking about the dog and not the missus, right...?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Feb 2011, 22:20, Reply)

It is hard to tell
Dog's farts smell better
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 22:21, Reply)

You haven't been around her when she's has sprouts.
Jesus...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Feb 2011, 22:22, Reply)

I'm surprised you still have any sense of smell at all

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 22:23, Reply)

So am I, believe me.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Feb 2011, 22:25, Reply)

And the Dog is really cute too.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 22:20, Reply)

Alright DG
How's life in the frozen North?

Al: I signed up for July. Will you protect me from the crazy lawyer woman?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 22:20, Reply)

I will protect you to the best of my ability.
Which is, after three pints, you're on your own.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Feb 2011, 22:21, Reply)

Some help you'll be
I'll survive on my own, then let the tears out the next day on the train home.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 22:22, Reply)

OK, I will wrap you in one of my many coats of awesome for protection.
And chop off her tongue as she goes for your cock. Satisfied?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Feb 2011, 22:24, Reply)

I am, yes
Although I hope that's a bit more than will be necessary.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 22:26, Reply)

evening!
well done to the fellow, and best of luck.

alt. I really like Arcade Fire and I wish I had ice cream
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 22:55, Reply)

Arcade Fire totally, horifFically, completely ripped off ASMZ.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 22:56, Reply)

I think you've told me this already
I plan to buy the Cd/download the album sometime
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 23:00, Reply)

m.youtube.com/#/watch?xl=xl_blazer&v=fi4ZtGrFeec
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 23:05, Reply)

i think you linked wrong there

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 23:08, Reply)

mobile browser.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 23:19, Reply)

I saw Arcade Fire once.
Well, the local scrotes burned down the amusement arcade. You could see the smoke from my house. That's the same thing, right?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Feb 2011, 23:04, Reply)

yeah, I reckon it's not far off

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 23:09, Reply)

I had a temperature of 39 degrees last night.
It makes me proud to be proper ill, none of that manflu nonsense.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 23:30, Reply)

phase 1 of baby's evil plan
weaken your immune system.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 23:41, Reply)

YOU IS HAWT!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Feb 2011, 23:48, Reply)

Trufax

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 23:54, Reply)

GWOAN GIRL!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Feb 2011, 23:55, Reply)

I need to stick a movie on, guide me b3tans, what genre?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 23:33, Reply)

Porn.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Feb 2011, 23:46, Reply)

Or, you could watch 'Goal'.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Feb 2011, 23:47, Reply)

surprisingly enjoyable flick.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 23:48, Reply)

Anna Friel!
Doing a surprisingly decent Geordie accent.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Feb 2011, 23:52, Reply)

she is super gorgeous too which helps.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 23:53, Reply)

And a TV lesbian wot snogged a ginger.
Right. Bed, me, now.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Feb 2011, 23:54, Reply)

I have opted for Garth Merengis Dark Place.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 23:48, Reply)

Lol at 'Dark Place'
It's funny because it sounds like anal.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Feb 2011, 23:51, Reply)

There was a question on OKCupid
I just had which said "would you ever sleep with a serial killer?"

I'd like to point out this was not a message I received, btw.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 23:35, Reply)

I would if she was fit.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 23:41, Reply)

"have you stopped murdering people with hammers?"
yes/no
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 23:43, Reply)

that leaves no option for
"yes, but I've progressed on to axes and poison darts"
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 23:45, Reply)

A change is as good as a rest they say

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 23:50, Reply)

erm, I got into uni first round?
And I slept waaaay too late this morning. *fails*
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 0:02, Reply)

Anyone still around?
Silly landlord, offering free, late drink.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 0:32, Reply)

I'm vaguely around,
while I do other things. How're you?
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 0:53, Reply)

That a stupidly fit girl I met twice about six months ago remembered me at a flat party earlier.
We're going out on Friday.

*dances*
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 0:32, Reply)

Buy a new jacket Bazza.
It'll be the making of you.

*Stealing heart gag is obvious*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 0:34, Reply)

I can't be an idiot with money any more than I already have been.
£190 on a PS3 I'll hardly play? Check.
£300 on a 32" flat screen that will hardly fit in my room? As of tomorrow morning, check.

I might spend £200 on clothes and then leave the rest as it'll last fucking ages, but at this rate it'll be gone within a month.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 0:39, Reply)