I haven't broken or fixed anything today
But I've done a lot of explaining of technical things in 'lay speak'. The last email I sent out explained what happens when you delete a file on a computer. Fascinating stuff, I'm sure you'll agree.

I have my appraisal this afternoon. I'm already job hunting.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:17, 5 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

We have our appraisals coming round soon
yawn
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:18, Reply)

While you're here.
What is defragging a computer?
( girlinthehole, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:20, Reply)

Think of it as filing for the files on your hard disk
It basically puts them into a nice order, meaning the disk doesn't have to move as much to access them, meaning it will be faster

/apologies for techy answer
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:21, Reply)

Thanks.
Now to explain it to my mother.
( girlinthehole, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:23, Reply)

Tidying up

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:23, Reply)

Right
Imagine you have a big desk and you're working on 20 jigsaw puzzles (it's a very big desk). Over time, bits of each jigsaw get moved around the desk, and it all gets rather cluttered, so it takes longer to identify what set each little piece belongs too.

Defragging would be doing a spring clean of the desk, sorting out all the pieces so that you have them all with their respective puzzle sets, so working on one puzzle means you don't have to constantly hunt around the whole desk looking for pieces.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:23, Reply)

Like he says^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:24, Reply)

Ooo! well explained.
Thank you too.
( girlinthehole, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:26, Reply)

You're welcome
Glad it made sense!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:28, Reply)

I thought it meant deleting all the images of Fraggles from your 'pictures' file.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:30, Reply)

saucy saucy muppets

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:31, Reply)

In that case, you'll be glad to know you're not the only one with a Doozer fetish
Lol, jk, you are. You sick fuck.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:32, Reply)

Just say apprasie THIS then wack out out your cock and start a Lord's prayer wank

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:21, Reply)

*ponders*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:22, Reply)

lol

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:25, Reply)

I'll take this advice into consideration.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:25, Reply)

In London I hope.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:22, Reply)

You hope? I am surprised, though pleasantly
And yes mostly in London.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:24, Reply)

Excellent.
I hate this long-distance bullying. Imagining you crying is no longer enough - I need to see it with my own eyes.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:31, Reply)

Oh boy
maybe when you move house Gonz will have a spare room again, and you and TGB can be roomies and love down the road from me and it will be awesome!
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:38, Reply)

Monty and TGB can love down the road?
Lusty will be most annoyed
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:44, Reply)

Relieved, I should imagine.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:47, Reply)

That was a terribly Freudian typo there
Terrible because it made me vomit my eyes out.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:45, Reply)

Phwoar, just imagine a sexy funtiem between Labs and TGB
She'd be all like "Put you chins in my Vag, I want to be able to feel something" and He'd be all like "Oh god, you're getting wet, I'm drowning, I'm drowning!"
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:47, Reply)

mindbleach please

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:49, Reply)

You could be slouched in the corner
Frantically searching your folds for your penis.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:52, Reply)

Lay speak? Is that in a Barry White voice?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:26, Reply)

Nice!
*clicks*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:28, Reply)

Yes, but it was via email
So I including some clip-art of lit candles, and a thick fluffy rug in front of an open fire.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:29, Reply)

and a walrus?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:42, Reply)