i have some hotel chocolat salted caramel puddles (think giant dime bar chocolate buttons, basically)
and a diet coke. both are addictive. nice things: i give a lot of free legal advice and i am v generous with my cash. most people say thanks. there is the occasional cunty cunt.

i was going to ask a question about: be a b3tan for the day. who would you be and what would you make them do? i would love to be vipros and i would have that beard waxed right off, and i would love to be monty and dance around to "girls aloud" whilst eating a vegetarian curry.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 14:34, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'd be you and I'd sleep with me
The original me, not the new me, which is you. Obviously.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 14:36, Reply)

So basically this would be the world's most complicated wank?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 14:36, Reply)

It'll get even more complicated if he decides to use his unfavoured hand..

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 14:38, Reply)

There is the issue of how exactly I (original) would derive pleasure from it
whereas the amount of pleasure the new me (Swipey) would endure is divisible only by itself
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 14:38, Reply)

you've obviously never tried it in the passenger seat of my SLK in very tight jeans (him, not me!)

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 14:38, Reply)

I'm a dancer and am therefore surprisingly flexible
Try me
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 14:42, Reply)

if you're me for the day you can try it yourself
just put the roof down first, i don't want my ceiling all splattered up.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Without the ceiling to intercept its upward trajectory
it's just going to fall back down and ruin your upholstery
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 14:50, Reply)

it's leather
wipes clean. why do you think i chose it?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 14:51, Reply)

I like the way you think

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 14:57, Reply)

I would be Al. Because I could eat what I wanted and I wouldn't gain weight.
Because I'm sure there comes a point where you CAN NOT put any more on, and I think he's reached it.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 14:39, Reply)

That was a little unnecessary I feel.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 14:39, Reply)

Genuinely, my original thought was "Al, so I could know what it was like to be beautiful"
but thought that was soppy. Fat Al it is.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 14:41, Reply)

Bit like those last five pies you had at lunchtime.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 14:41, Reply)

I'd be Monty for a day
and do his massive drugs with no consequences.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 14:41, Reply)

I'd be Lusty and I'd spend the day cleaning my flat.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 14:49, Reply)

Hahahaha!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Mar 2011, 14:52, Reply)