Jesus Christ
the daughter of the family that I stay with while on secondment has just failed her driving theory test for the second time. I still maintain that the theory test is the easiest test I have ever done. How retarded do you have to be to fail twice?

She is going to do biochemistry at uni or something.

I weep for the future of our race.

tell me about stupid people you know?

edit: in case you get confused, Jesus Christ is not the daughter of the family. That was an exclamation.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:10, 73 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Anyone who fails a driving test more than once should just be banned from driving
anyone who actually manages to fail a driving theory test even once should just, frankly, be shot.

This post is a bit close to the current /QOTW mind you.

I gave up on the future of our race years ago. I'm engineering a new one.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:16, Reply)

Your username just had glittery white dots like it was an animated gif just now... I think this means it's time for me to go home.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:19, Reply)

Too much internet.

( Cawl, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:20, Reply)

holy shit
not something you are guilty of
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:22, Reply)

True.
How things change, eh?
( Cawl, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:23, Reply)

indeed
TGB revealed through the medium of a chart that I have posted most on the last two years of everyone on OT.

This sucks.

How's it going?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:24, Reply)

Yeah, I saw!
I'd like to say I'm proud of you for it, but it's a fucking disgrace, and you ought to seriously weigh up your options between "car-hosepipe" or "drinking bleach".
( Cawl, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:25, Reply)

P.S.
I'm ok thanks.
( Cawl, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:26, Reply)

you making any music these days?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:36, Reply)

Nope,
None at all.
Seem to spend all my damn time looking after my animals.
Although PoD has moved about 30 miles away from here, so I mean to give him a shout.
How's the band going?
( Cawl, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:38, Reply)

that's a shame
do you really need a penguin to look after as well?

going ok. We're making some good music, and I'm learning the drums so we can get our drummer on the piano. Turns out he's really fucking good.

We've discovered that we are the most reliable and organised people in the exeter music scene, which is frankly a shocking indictment
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:42, Reply)

Haha!
Glad to hear that you're getting on well, drop me an email if you've got links to new stuff, although it'll likely be another two years before I get online again.
( Cawl, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:45, Reply)

cheers
we haven't recorded anything for a little while, other than stuff for our reference. Our drummer moved house though and we are converting an outbuilding into a studio so should be able to do something at some point!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:46, Reply)

It's ok, I'll drown myself in the pool later

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:30, Reply)

Wooooooooo!
You're back.
( girlinthehole, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:23, Reply)

Only very briefly.
Getting car insurance quotes. I'm THAT awesome.
( Cawl, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:26, Reply)

Were your ears burning last weekend?

( girlinthehole, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:27, Reply)

Nope.
Just my groin.
( Cawl, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:28, Reply)

Haha!
You're so awesome you still get talked about by wierdos off the internet.
( girlinthehole, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:30, Reply)

These things happen, I guess.

( Cawl, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:31, Reply)

holy shit
not something you are guilty of
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:23, Reply)

No love for me? Fine then, fuck you, I don't need no approval from anyone, I'm going home.... and I hope the baby has the milkman's DNA.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:31, Reply)

No need,
I know every detail of your life from Facebook.
( Cawl, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:32, Reply)

Oh man, I got distracted by work.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:50, Reply)

Right now
I'm the stupid one. Bumped into a friend who stared at my slovenly clothes and said dubiously 'thought you were coming to History dinner' (black tie) which I paid forty pounds for, and totally forgot about. Told them I'd try and sort a dress out quickly, decided I couldn't, texted her to say so, and my spazzy fingers sent the text to a b3tan instead/
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:17, Reply)

oh dear
the b3tan part of that isn't too bad, but you need to stop forgetting things you have paid a load for
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:19, Reply)

This is true.
I'm a bit upset about missing it now :( but I'd look horrible if I just tossed a dress on
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:22, Reply)

put on a suit, Diane Keaton style

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:23, Reply)

Ooo! this.

( girlinthehole, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:24, Reply)

I'm not a drag-king

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:27, Reply)

Pfft!
www.bing.com/images/search?q=bianca+jagger&view=detail&id=FF38029BD6D558150139B0F7FBD1E646E14BCB5A&first=1&FORM=IDFRIR&qpvt=bianca+jagger
( girlinthehole, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:28, Reply)

See if I looked like that in a suit haha
I'd wear it.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:32, Reply)

is that really the main concern?
Just go!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:27, Reply)

It's quite a big concern
a lot of old-members turn up as well. I'd rather not be the fat, ugly, badly dressed token spastic.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:28, Reply)

pff, i very much doubt that would be the case
also - 'old members' hehehe. The 'member of the month' sign at the gym made me laugh, too
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:30, Reply)

everyone knows ambers prefers the young members

( djtrialprice, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:36, Reply)

really?
I know you've got nice dresses. Go on, you'll look ace. And perhaps be slightly awesomely fashionably late.
( djtrialprice, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:35, Reply)

it's all about different forms of intelligence
I'm too old to have done the theory test, I assume I would have been awesome at it, though
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:19, Reply)

it's not.
the theory test is so unbelievably easy.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:20, Reply)

I think the test is more to do with commen sense that intelligence.

( girlinthehole, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:22, Reply)

but but
it is so easy that it goes beyond those things.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:23, Reply)

It must be easy because I passed it.

( girlinthehole, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:24, Reply)

The theory test is in two parts
Hazard perception and Multiple guess theory questions. Failing either twice is pretty bad but the former is easier to fail than the latter. If you're failing the multiple choice you must be fucking thick, lazy or love to piss money up the wall.
( djtrialprice, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:28, Reply)

she failed the multiple choice bit the first time round, I know that

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:30, Reply)

yep, off to the salt mines then
it's the best place for her
( djtrialprice, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:32, Reply)

I think so
I'll see to it directly
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:34, Reply)

cool
can I give you a list of other people I'd like worked to death in enforced manual labour?
( djtrialprice, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:40, Reply)

sure, I've got some spare time

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:40, Reply)

This
list will do for starters. Those people clearly have too much spare time. (I checked, you're not on it).
( djtrialprice, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:44, Reply)

I'll get started right away

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:46, Reply)

im too fucking old for the hazardy theory test
mine was a paper licence until last year.
stupid people who spell feel 'fill' and mirror 'mirrow' get right on my tits
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:28, Reply)

there's a load of girls I know that write "2mar" for tomorrow
I want to punch them
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:52, Reply)

DO IT.

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 19:01, Reply)

How the fuck can you fail that twice?
I wholeheartedly agree: it's probably the easiest test I've ever taken. Doing what I do, I don't meet a lot of stupid people thankfully, because they make me angry. The biggest cretin I regularly come in to contact with is my cunt stepbrother, who is actually clinically retarded.*
I do not accept this as an excuse for the sheer volume of stupidity he embodies, however.

*well, he has a genetic disorder, one of the possible symptoms of which is subnormal intelligence. I don't think he's ever been tested so he might have perfectly normal intelligence but he's still a fucking idiot.
(berk, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:34, Reply)

the more you post, the more I like you and your attitudes

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:35, Reply)

totally
let me know when your hate filled column in the Mail comes out.
( djtrialprice, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:38, Reply)

If you had ever met him
you would understand why he is the subject of so much bile and ire.
Guardian maybe; never the Daily Fail!
(berk, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:42, Reply)

having a cunt for a brother
I can only sympathise.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:44, Reply)

I'm leaving you with the grown-ups for that :P

( djtrialprice, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:46, Reply)

I mean
I can only sympathise, as I can't possibly imagine what that would be like.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:52, Reply)

Dirty hippy lefty commie socialist!

( djtrialprice, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:47, Reply)

I'm not sure if you're joking
but he really is a fucking imbecile. Having a genetic abnormality does not give you carte blanche to be the world's biggest dickhead nor willfully, woefully idiotic.
(berk, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:45, Reply)

I'm not joking
I hate stupid people.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:46, Reply)

Fortunately
(and I do feel a bit harsh to say this) as he has this disorder he's unable to breed. Even his dad admits that this is probably a good thing.
(berk, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:54, Reply)

I failed my practical test four times
though to be fair, the first three I had absolutely no business taking, as I was patently not ready to be out on my own.

The fourth was only a fail because I nearly ran the chief examiner of the road on the way back in to the test centre. Cunt.

And because I took such a spectacularly long time learning, I had to take the theory test twice. The first time I got 33/35 and the second time 34/35. Both times I finished the test in about 15 minutes.

Considering the questions were something along the lines of: if you come up to a zebra crossing and there is an old lady about to cross, do you (a) stop, or (b) floor it?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:43, Reply)

I too had to retake the theory test as mine also expired
Passed first time though, get in! And then drove my amazing 323 ZXi all damn day.
( djtrialprice, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:51, Reply)

I drove your car before you did
and I may or may not have warmed up Roota.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:52, Reply)

my favorite author posted a picture of four of her books and invited people into a contest to win them
a person replied "I would but I already own them 4 books"
I cried a bit inside
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:49, Reply)

OK I'm gonna have a misplaced rant about here
what the hell is the point in shit things happening if you can't fucking help someone else when similar shit things happen to them? FFS, i'd have thought it would have been useful for something and now I am powerless to do a damn thing for my friend except keep my phone on me in case he needs to talk. Why can't I fucking fix this?

These are rhetorical questions you can ignore. Sorry.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:52, Reply)

Unfortunately
it is not always possible to help, no matter how much you might want to. Hopefully it will count for something that you were just there.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:55, Reply)

but I'm not I'm fucking miles away
I've barely made the time to see him in the last year or so. Fucking time and fucking space.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:57, Reply)

give him a sympathy blow job

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 18:56, Reply)

What is this 'theory test' of which you speak?
/Old person is old and never had to do it.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 8 Mar 2011, 19:10, Reply)