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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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It's been an hour since the last post, so I hope this isn't too threadrush
but I've just realised that I can't remember the last time I was without a massive fucking headache. I also realised I am clenching my jaw tighter than a drug-mule's anus going through customs.

I have come to the conclusion that something must br stressing me, and that I need to do somethingto chill the fuck out. Suggestions?

anyone who answers 'have a wank' will be ceremoniously cunted in the fuck.

Alt: What do I buy DJTP for his birthday next month?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 10 Mar 2011, 15:41, 186 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
An inflatable Roota

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 15:43, Reply)
one that goes "calm down la" upon deflation

(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:06, Reply)
I'll fuck you you fuckin fuck!

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:07, Reply)
*holds Roota's coat*

*watches with interest*

EDIT: realises what Roota just said. Runs away.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:13, Reply)
Noooo, it means beat up here!

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:15, Reply)
did you see in the news that the gaddaffi's £10M mansion in hampstead
has been taken over by freedom fighting squatters? what a way to show their solidarity. squatting in a luxury pad in safe london.

i'd love to act on that repossession claim, although no law firm is allowed to act for gaddaffi courtesy of the freezing order, so i'd have to act for the squatters instead!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 15:45, Reply)
I wish people would stop bullying him
Poor Gadaffi
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 15:49, Reply)
I wouldn't mind just wandering in and lifting a few things
they'd probably be worth a bit on eBay.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 10 Mar 2011, 15:50, Reply)
Take some time off.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 15:45, Reply)
Sadly, as I'm self-employed, any time off is spent worrying that I will have no money at the end of the month
and, frankly, I spend far too much time twatting about here and not working as it is.

Plus, even if I'm not working, I'm sitting in my shit-heap of a house looking at all the housework I could be doing instead.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 10 Mar 2011, 15:49, Reply)
What do you do?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 15:52, Reply)
sell shit on eBay
which is why my house is a shit-heap. I've got at least six skips worth of stock sitting around.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 10 Mar 2011, 15:55, Reply)
My uncle does that,
well he restores furniture then sells it on ebay.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:04, Reply)
b3th was a named driver on my car insurance for a few years
I can tell you she's an "antique dealer".
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:01, Reply)
I think that's the only thing that kept it below a grand, isn't it?
Although, antique and second-hand dealers generally have ludicrous premiums, mostly because their work involves driving around a lot. And carrying expensive stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:04, Reply)
do nothing
as in, when you have spare time, even a moment or two at work, just zone out thinking of nothing, except maybe your favorite things
try to imagine the sound and smell of the ocean or the smell of your favortie flower

alt: cheese
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 15:46, Reply)
Or the smell of your favourite cheese.

(Kitty Fantastico "Dwarf, Anorexic and In a Fight ", Thu 10 Mar 2011, 15:52, Reply)
Is that you?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:11, Reply)
No I think it's a legit new person.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:12, Reply)
Oh right.

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:16, Reply)
Kitty V1.0 has instructed me to start a hate campaign

(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:17, Reply)
Done

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:17, Reply)
wasn't poppet a kitten at one point?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:21, Reply)
VampyreCat or some such.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:22, Reply)
ah, there you go.
I thought there was something feline about it.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:26, Reply)
Fuck off, Bert.

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:16, Reply)
Play nice with the noobs scouse.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:17, Reply)
I'm never nasty to 'em.
'Fuck off, Bert' is a recognised greeting.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:18, Reply)
It's still massive cyber bullying,
you should be ashamed, ASHAMED
(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:19, Reply)
I'll never do it again

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:25, Reply)
Good now apologise to the new kitty.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:25, Reply)
But what if it's Bert?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:27, Reply)
I like it when he comes to visit.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:28, Reply)
I read that in the voice of JRH Christie

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:34, Reply)
New person
You may come under attack for having a name that's very similar to an old and respected member.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:25, Reply)
Sorry, Bert.

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:27, Reply)
Hello New Person
I assume you're a fan of Buffy The Vampire Slayer with that name, or if you're not, you're a young girl.

Either way, Psychochomp would like to have surprise sex with you.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:28, Reply)
Way to ruin the surprise Al

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:29, Reply)
I'm betting it's a fat lonely male furry.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:29, Reply)
Maxi's been dumped?

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:30, Reply)
Ha ha, who knows.
I hope so, I do enjoy his cider fueled posts at 3am.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:31, Reply)
The chat logs I'm reading right now remind me of him
Only creepier and more fucked up.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:32, Reply)
ur da most beautiful flower in the world, I <3 u 4eva!

(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:33, Reply)
+snuggle wuggle lol ^x^
and all that other sickening shit.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:35, Reply)
Please say that's a direct quote of his

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:35, Reply)
Nah, basically a general feel of the shit he said to binky all the time on /talk.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:36, Reply)
Have they been on much recently?
He hasn't been here.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:37, Reply)
binky's not his girlfriend by the way.
And he was on today for a bit until wormulus was mean to him.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:38, Reply)
I forgot his girlfriend's name, only that she came on to white knight him
You've reminded me of that awesome wormuluscam now. Might have to watch it again.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:39, Reply)
Linky?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:40, Reply)

webfe.sickipedia.org/sys/wormuluscam/
(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:41, Reply)
HAHA!
That's fantastic, I love the Hungry Hungry Hippos in the background.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:44, Reply)
ha ha, I can't watch it at work
but I'm tempted to set it as one of my home tabs.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:40, Reply)
It's so so good
Saw his comment to Maxi, nice and succinct! I didn't think Kersal was unattractive when I met her, so I'm glad Wormulus shot Maxi down for his comment.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:45, Reply)
Linky?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:45, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7129218
(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:47, Reply)
Hee hee

(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:51, Reply)
Doesn't binky live with Cr3?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:40, Reply)
No that's spangolin.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:41, Reply)
Is it her that makes the hoodies Maxi was wearing?

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:46, Reply)
I thought that was spangolin

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:42, Reply)
Do you think if we have a conversation on here
other people will imagine that it's like a wrestling match between you and your equally busty body double.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:45, Reply)
We can give it a shot
though really it's a disturbing image, like two starving elephants fighting to the death.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:47, Reply)
Are you reading Berts computer?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:33, Reply)
No
And I never want to.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:34, Reply)
Don't ask these cretins
Answer as always: nothing or a stack of non-second hand CDs. Or nothing. I'll only resent having to make a trip to some charity shop to throwaway more tat.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 15:52, Reply)
i bought my brother a le creuset wok
because it's you and i know you love it when i talk dirty money to you, i'll tell you that it was £140.

it is fucking fit though. i want one, but i already have two woks, and i never ever use them.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 15:53, Reply)
Ooooh baby, tell me how much cash you have on you (in your purse) right now?

(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 15:58, Reply)
usually nothing
but funnily enough my flatmate and i had a bit of an argument last night because she insists on paying me some rent and bills when i say she doesn't have to. so she gave me a big chunk of cash. then i bought something on the way to work so...

£491.27

since you ask.

if i get mugged on the way home now, i KNOW it's one of you lot.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:00, Reply)
That's enough to buy an old car with.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:01, Reply)
You could almost buy my car 5 times if you take the valuation from webuyanycar.com
bastards
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:02, Reply)
I wouldn't even use them as a means of getting a rough valuation.
Use Carspotter instead, it's closer to book price.

Edit: Plus one of their adverts was filmed in a village close to my house, so that makes their word Gospel, as far as I'm concerned.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:04, Reply)
I only did it out of interst, a garage had it at £350 about 3 years ago and I'll soon hit 100k miles in it

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:05, Reply)
What do you have, out of interest?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:09, Reply)
'99 5 door 1 litre polo; she is a beast!
No power steering or central locking, sunroof leaks, one door doesn't open, but apart from that she goes like a dream, she is called Vixen on account of being a V reg
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:11, Reply)
you need a new car

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:12, Reply)
She sounds like a beaut. She's a bit new for the VAG crowd, though =(
You'd get some kid ratting her.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:12, Reply)
luckily, most people on here don't belong to the vag crowd
they're mostly in the 'flaming bender' and 'cock-hound' crowd.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:15, Reply)
yes
but not enough to repair it, run it, fill it with petrol, insure it.

feck off with your old cars. shiny, sleek, sexy sports cars, that's where it's at.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:07, Reply)
Sleek, shiney sports cars can also be old.
OK, not for 500 quid, but still.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:08, Reply)
Are you going to buy yourself an iPad on the way home
Or will you wait 2 weeks for iPad 2 and get the pink one?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:02, Reply)
gonz has tempted me
but the reality is, i wouldn't use it.

i'm being pampered at the salon all sat morning instead.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:11, Reply)
If you're spending the best part of five-hundred quid being 'pampered'
Then you've got issues.

Either that, or you're 'Bubbles' from Little Britain.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:14, Reply)
there is a distinct resemblance between us, yes

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:48, Reply)
I want to be somebody's 'flatmate'
*winks knowingly*
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:02, Reply)
Weird that, as I I have £7.5k in my currect account as I was going to buy a car last weekend
but then realised that my driving license had expired a year ago...
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:04, Reply)
You're over 70?
or do not have a UK driving license.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:05, Reply)
No the photo needs changing every ten years, it's been eleven

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:06, Reply)
Does it?
I got my licence nine years ago. I must look into this.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:08, Reply)
i still have a paper licence so mine doesn't
but if you have the new one, yes
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:11, Reply)
How come yours is only paper, you're not that old...are you...unless
I have busted your online persona, you are Barry, lorry driver from kidderminster aged 56.
aicmfp
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:13, Reply)
The last year paper licences were issued
was 1997.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:14, Reply)
i passed on 7 june 1995
it seems like about 2 mins ago. i have seldom been so excited about anything as i was rushing home to rip the L plates off my shiny lovely red beetle (shuddup kroney) and drive it ALL BY MYSELF.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:47, Reply)
Yeah took me by surprise
especially as i had changed the adress on it 2 years ago and thought it wopld therefore reset somhow
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:11, Reply)
well, seeing as I haven't yet got round to updating my licence with my married name
I might just leave it till next year.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:17, Reply)
and your caring sibling's suggestion for your constant headache is
erm... nah, I got nothing. Sorry
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 15:55, Reply)
you'll get what you're given and like it
you ingrate.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 10 Mar 2011, 15:55, Reply)

like it discard it, as discussed above
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 15:59, Reply)
I was thinking Ticketmaster vouchers
or something equally non-tangible.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:01, Reply)
Get him tickets to "Legally blonde"

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:02, Reply)
I was thinking 'Mama Mia'

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:06, Reply)
Or maybe "Love never Dies"
I've heard it's even better than Phantom! *swoons*
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:08, Reply)
Can I have a list of all the CDs in the world that you don't have please?
I should have seaved Puressence for your birthday because I can't top it, but it's before so I'll have to get you CDs. Or more gigs. Or vouchers. Would you like vouchers?
Were you sufficiently impressed with the historic find I made last year?
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:09, Reply)
you found his virginity?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:18, Reply)
Haha!
Nope, it was original Erasure sheet music of singles from the 80s and early 90s.
He'd better frame them or something when we move in together, the git.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:26, Reply)
Your undercrackers are on too tight

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:00, Reply)
We don't all put them over our heads, Apey...

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:05, Reply)
To be fair, i only put other peoples over my head

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:08, Reply)
Alt: get him a ferret

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:02, Reply)
Or a slection of stuffed squirrels posed as if they were playing cricket

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:04, Reply)
Actually, that gives me an idea...
www.webuser.co.uk/websites/online-fun-blog/websites/492636/brewdog-launches-world-s-strongest-beer-in-a-squirrel
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:06, Reply)
THAT...
IS...


AMAZING!
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:07, Reply)
have a shit

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:07, Reply)
As gift ideas go this is the worst yet.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:25, Reply)
I'll be honest, I didn't read the question.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:29, Reply)
Only gaybos actually read the questions.
Just respond with an insult, a comment about how you like breasts, or pander one of the ladies - that should cover all bases.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:33, Reply)
yeah, your mum! has nice breasts, I like breasts and ladies.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:39, Reply)
Do you have any colouring-in books and felts?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:10, Reply)
I do!
I fucking love colouring in, me.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:20, Reply)
That will take away all your stresses and strains.
I love colouring in too.
I might get a new one tonight. Thery're not what they were though, colouring-in books...
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:23, Reply)
I like the ones with patterns instead of pictures
they are, as you say, very relaxing.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:24, Reply)
*siiiigh*
Aaaaaye.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:26, Reply)
Watch Airplane!
Get a massage
Declutter your bedroom

I'm out
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:17, Reply)
All joking aside
you should probably see a doctor about that. Try drinking more liquids and see if it goes away, if I get a blinding headache it's usually because I'm dehydrated (or stressed).
(berk, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:17, Reply)
I think you could be on to something there
I don't drink nearly enough. I'm trying to up my water intake, and I'm starting to feel a little better.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:19, Reply)
Caffeine usually sorts me out if I have a dehydration headache
something to do with intracranial pressure. But yes, you should try drinking more liquids if you've got a constant headache.
(berk, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:22, Reply)
Oooh yeah, when I have ahangover headache coffe is brillinat

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:25, Reply)
this is why
if after a heavy night I feel groggy, I neck a diet coke and feel absolutely fine.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 17:01, Reply)
Dehydration = guaranteed headache.
If your brain dries out it becomes larger and causes cranial pressure, which hurts.

This is (I believe) not bullshit, but I cannot remember where I read or was told it so it may be.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:28, Reply)
I think you got it from a Tractor CD.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:31, Reply)
Yup.
That's why you get headaches with hangovers.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:32, Reply)
Or possibly as a result of all the unpleasant chemicals
that your liver produces as it breaks down the alcohol.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:33, Reply)
No it isn't
see below.
(berk, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:40, Reply)
But the brain cannot feel pain as it has no nerves
and drying something out would make it shrink, not swell.

Also, I'm pretty sure it's the fault of Little Brown People who can't speak english.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:32, Reply)
They're not good role models.

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:34, Reply)
Do you regard the place of the woman in traditional Islamic culture as acceptable?
I think it's barbaric, repressive and backward, personally.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:35, Reply)
Oh shurrup Mont.
You're doing my nut in today.
This is a cruel world, and you've brought an innocent babby into it because you're allergic to condoms. Get back on Jeremy Kyle and stop calling us lefties and peasants.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:45, Reply)
HAHA!
Brilliant. Let him have it Roots.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:47, Reply)
It really was brilliant, you're right.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:52, Reply)
I think we've just established that I'm left.
*cue hilarious riposte about my wife's breasts based on Monty's inability to understand a simple play on words*
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:56, Reply)
left = bent
You didn't see that one coming did ya!
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:58, Reply)
No
No I did not.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 17:00, Reply)
I should totally do politics and shit, I would rinse PMQs blud
Clegg, you is bent, wot do you say to dat?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 17:00, Reply)
Ironically
you are making the very same play on words that my original 'wife's breasts' jest was based upon - but you felt the need to 'correct' my spelling, making yourself look like a halfwit in the process.

So yes, I get my own joke from a few days ago. Thanks, though.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 17:10, Reply)
Fight, fight, fight, fight
Shall i call in the secruity?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:55, Reply)
I think I've missed something.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:57, Reply)
Mont V Root

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:59, Reply)
Don't be daft.

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 17:01, Reply)
Awwww
*puts book away*
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 17:04, Reply)
They come over here, take our jobs
and then give us headaches. Send them back, I say.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:35, Reply)
African midgets?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:35, Reply)
Your brain doesn't dry out or change size
but if you are dehydrated then in order to maintain intracranial pressure you get vasoconstriction which causes the headache. The brain itself doesn't feel pain.
Hangover headaches are a combintion of dehydration (alcohol acts on the kidneys to stop them reabsorbing water, hence the 'breaking the seal' phenomenon) and feeling sick from the breakdown products of ethanol, which are generally nasty aldehyde type stuff and much more toxic than ethanol itself.
/science
(berk, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:40, Reply)
My liver must be so fucked

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:43, Reply)
THat's the wonderful thing about Livers
they regenerate so well, if you stop drinking for a while it'll be back to normal quite soon.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:46, Reply)
I can't tell if you're being sarcastic here
livers always seem to do alright on House.

I won't be drinking over Easter apart from on one or two selected days of fun. Might give it a rest. Either that or it's already fucked and has just given up even trying to process it, thus no hangovers
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:49, Reply)
Livers rock
It's why all these detox plans are fads, your body does a great job of detoxing anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:51, Reply)
Quite.
Most of those diets are more harmful as you aren't getting the various vitamins and minerals etc.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:57, Reply)
Nope, Al speaks the truth for once
worryingly, if you're a chronic alcohol abuser, just before your liver packs in entirely you stop getting hangovers; your liver can no longer break down the ethanol in to the stuff that makes you ill.
However if you've never gotten a hangover you probably don't need to worry about that; some people just don't.
(berk, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:56, Reply)
I'm pretty sure
Amberl isn't even close to damaging her liver. Drinking once or twice a week while you're a student is not the same as drinking two bottles of wine a day for 15 years.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:58, Reply)
I suspect she could drink you under the table
if she matched you drink for drink, she would still be going and only mildly tiddly - and certainly not hungover - whilst you would be lying in a green foetal puddle, having drunk enough booze to dissolve your organs.
(berk, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 17:03, Reply)
Haha ha
I would love to put this to the test.

Actually, let's do it in July.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 17:06, Reply)
You go right ahead
I would die a horrible drunken death long before either of you were even slightly tipsy, I expect.
(berk, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 17:07, Reply)
I'm taking you up on it Al

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 17:09, Reply)
I assume you can't damage it
in one session though? Otherwise that accidental bottle of Baileys I drank as a kid has a lot to answer for :)

Yeah my dad doesn't get them either so presumably genetic. My brother has just started though which is hilarious.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 17:00, Reply)
Ummm
as I recall from physiology binge drinking is actually better for you than long term chronic boozing. Don't tell the government I told you, though.
(berk, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 17:03, Reply)
What the fuck does the government know about anything?
Nothing that's what.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 17:06, Reply)
Excellent news if that is true

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 17:07, Reply)
You and Me, July Bash,
Drinking 'til we puke on Berks unconscious body
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 17:09, Reply)
Aww man
how can I say no? I'm sure we'll outlast the lot

Edit: I'd say there'd have to be a forfeit for the loser, but I suspect that the winner would be too drunk to remember that
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 17:10, Reply)
I'm behaving myself at that one
I don't want to have a hangover for Pulp.

EDIT - although if you mean unconscious as in asleep, yeah that'll probably happen.
(berk, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 17:13, Reply)
If you don't have a hangover
then I will spend the entire concert poking you in the face.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 17:13, Reply)
Then I will spend the entire concert punching you in yours.

(berk, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 17:17, Reply)
This is going to be the best concert EVAH!
Although the other bands on that day look fucking shite so far. I'm not impressed.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 17:18, Reply)
Oh, have they released moar bands?
If there's going to be nothing good on til Pulp, maybe I can get drunk after all: my hangover should have worn off by the evening.

EDIT - I'm sure Metronomy are the band Lampito likes, and they're actually quite good. Foals are alright as well.
(berk, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 17:20, Reply)
THere are about 5 announced so far
none of which I've ever heard of.

I was hoping they would get Shed Seven to reform along with Supergrass and the Bluetones.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 17:21, Reply)
It sounds pretty good :)
don't think there's tickets left though.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 17:25, Reply)
There are...
the official ticketmaster thinger still has them.
(berk, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 17:27, Reply)
Oh I thought they'd gone
I'm tempted now. However after ball night (with attendant staying up till 6am then travelling to London for the bash that evening) I might be a bit wiped
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 17:29, Reply)
A teeny teeny tiny bit, possibly
gates don't open til about 2pm though, so you'll have 12 or so hours of post bash pre gig recovery...
(berk, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 17:30, Reply)
I do genuinely pity your liver
I pity Monty's more though. And as Al says, they are quite clever; you can lose something ridiculous like 80% of your liver and still have perfectly normal liver function.
(berk, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:49, Reply)
I knew hangover dehydration caused headaches.
I just didn't know the specifics, I was never any good at biology.

*shameface*
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:47, Reply)
I imagine you know a great deal about law that I don't!

(berk, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:49, Reply)
I *never* get to use it to correct people on here though :(

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:51, Reply)
As a doctor I suggest you see your GP.
Headaches are often related to food sensitivity so get that checked. In the meantime lots of water, cut down (or cut out if possible) on coffee and alcohol, and get a good night sleep.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:30, Reply)
I don't like going to my doctor
I'm convinced he thinks i'm a hypochondriac. I always feel like I'm wasting everybody's time.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:42, Reply)
A hypochondriac
is someone who is less ill than they think they are. You mean hyperchondriac.
(berk, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:57, Reply)

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