The camera on my new phone is incredible.
I took some beautiful pictures of my child yesterday. I have zero interest in fucking 'apps' and all that nonsense though, I have no need at all for the internet on my telephone. Fucking waste of time.

Just thought I'd share.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 9:56, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Did you put a bag on her head and turn the lights off?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 9:56, Reply)

I fucking wish you would do that to yourself.
A plastic one, ideally.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 9:57, Reply)

Maybe for your Christmas present

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:06, Reply)

Thanks x

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:07, Reply)

What about gps, that's always useful.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 9:57, Reply)

Not to me, genuinely - why would I need that?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 9:58, Reply)

If there's a tube closure or something,
I think I generally use it for finding a nearby pub if I'm somewhere I've not been before.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:01, Reply)

Ah OK.
I get free text alerts from TFL if there's any disruption to my daily commute, and I am still impressed by being able to print off a map showing precisely my destination. When I were a lad this were all fields etc.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:03, Reply)

Post one up then
using your posh phone
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:00, Reply)

it's a trap!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:04, Reply)

Ackbar lols

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:07, Reply)

how are you feeling about the cuts now
after that delightful civilised demo at the weekend?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:05, Reply)

Not enough violence

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:06, Reply)

I vote to cut the feet off all the protesters so that they never leave their hovels ever again

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:06, Reply)

Would this impede any rolling on the floor?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:07, Reply)

Shit I haven't thought this through
I heard someone was rolled through the windows of Topshop
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:09, Reply)

It not not impede rolling then
/sherlock
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:10, Reply)

Sherlock Holmes had better grammar than you

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:12, Reply)

He also had a nice Grandma

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:13, Reply)

You really will shag anything

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:13, Reply)

Ailimentary, my dear Foxtrot

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:14, Reply)

I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt
and click this
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:23, Reply)

I should hope so too!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:36, Reply)

You mean the demo where half a million people peacfully voiced there anger at the stupid and unfair government policy?
Or the one where just a few hundred had a riot because they were cunts?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:11, Reply)

You mean those rioters that were the paid goons of Thatcher?
Those ones?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:12, Reply)

This looks like some kind of Schitzo thread

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:13, Reply)

now then, al
how can i argue with you seriously when your own spelling and grammar shows that any public money spent on your education was wasted...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:16, Reply)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:18, Reply)

You could do what you normally do
and mash your breasts into the keyboard while moaning about how unfair it is that you have to pay taxes.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:19, Reply)

now you are just showing that you can't read either
i don't LIKE paying tax. i would rather spend it and contribute to the economy that way. but i appreciate it is a necessary evil.

all i have ever said is this: if i am going to get butt-raped for £3,000 of tax a month, i think the government spunks it up the wall and it could be better spent. i don't really see how even you can disagree with this!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:28, Reply)

So we should cut Al?
Can't stand in the way of politics *sharpens kukri*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:20, Reply)

Well I for one am certain
that because of the march the goverment is BOUND to reverse 'there' policy. Oh, sorry, hang on, what I meant to say was 'the whole thing was completely fucking pointless and achieved precisely sod fucking all, cost London businesses hundreds of grand and the taxpayer hundreds of thousands more - probably the salaries of literally hundreds of teachers, a load of wheelchairs or whatever, and was therefore a fucking disgrace'.

I always get those two mixed up, sorry.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:22, Reply)

So is it ever 'worthwhile' for people to demonstrate?
What size does a demonstration have to be for the act of the Government ignoring the protests to be seen as going against the will of the people?
(playing Devil's Advocate here somewhat, my viewpoint is not contained in the question)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:26, Reply)

No Labs, it clearly isn't ever worth having an opinion about anything.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:27, Reply)

not if it doesn't agree with mine, it isn't!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:31, Reply)

I reckon
that if enough people are unhappy with the way their country is being run then they should attend an election and vote for a party that presents a method of government that they prefer.

Sorry, I meant 'set fire to Boots'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:30, Reply)

Monty, the percentage of violent rioters to peaceful protesters is minimal indeed
But that aside, you believe that people should wait up to four years to deal with what's happening right now? That people can only have the power to enact change as often as there are Olympic games?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:35, Reply)

If it's all about showing public disapproval about these cuts
then why not organise an (equally pointless) online petition or something that is
a) free, and available to the population wherever they live
b) environmentally sound and
c) doesn't waste huge swathes of public and private money to deal with at a time when no-one's fucking got any

The idea of displaying the numbers of disgruntled voters still happens, but without the rioting. A civilised solution.

I put it to you, though, that for the vast majority of the public the penny has fucking dropped that yes, it's not great, but actually we as a nation have no fucking money and this needs dealing with and fast.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Because you could argue that numbers on a webpage have a much lesser impact than streets filled with people
Have you considered that those marching are not necessarily against cuts being made, rather against the target of those cuts whilst other areas go untouched?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:51, Reply)

A proportion are simply tossers
who fancied a bit of a day out and possible RHUMBLE - like our contributor here, whose childish glee at the prospect of a riot was plain for all to see.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:53, Reply)

A very small proportion Monty
a few hundred out of half a million. Something like less than 1% of the people that actually went on the march.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:55, Reply)

A proportion of the world are tossers
It only takes the existence of one tosser amongst a group for there to be a 'proportion'.
Yes the rioters undermine the demonstration, but 149 charges for 250,000-500,000 people means it's a very small percentage.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:58, Reply)

Almost 100% of the world are tossers, from my experience.
I am not excluding myself from this number.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 11:05, Reply)

I heard interviews with protestors suggesting otherwise
the ones I heard (while possibly a minority) were strongly suggesting that they were against all of the cuts on principle, not just particular targets.

Nothing against people protesting, but they could at least put some fucking thought into why.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:54, Reply)

Idiots in 'talking shit' shocker.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:55, Reply)

Like you.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:56, Reply)

I like you too Ro-land.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Sure, I didn't mean to suggest that all of the protesters were for cuts but against the targets.
Apologies if it came across that way.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:59, Reply)

Didn't think you did
I was saying that a lot of people were just against all the cuts equally, with no real thought as to why.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 11:02, Reply)

But that's simply not true Monty
We are not a bankrupt nation, we have a large amount of borrowing which was needed to deal with a worldwide recession. Thanks to the massive sudden cuts we are now not a growing economy, in the last quarter of last year we were a shrinking economy. We cannot possibly pay back our borrowing with a shrinking economy.

It's stupidly simplistic to say "There's no money"
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:53, Reply)

We don't a have a multi-billion pound deficit
and a dwindling manufacturing sector - and widespread gigantic wastage throughout the public sector that should have been dealt with fucking decades ago?

I sold some chairs to London Borough of Tower Hamlets last year - each one cost over £100 when you can get an office chair for about £15 from Viking - a grotesque and indefensible waste of public money, and somewhat symbolic. I think at the very least holiday allowances, sick pay and pensions should be brought into line with the private sector. My sister was a civil servant for over 5 years and had incredible benefits, and reported to me that there were so, so many pointless managers and positions that were totally unnecessary. They should be cut whether we as a nation have money or not, and there are fucking loads of them. Advisory committees etc - just fucking hot air jobs that do nothing for anyone.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 11:02, Reply)

Oh yes, lets go back to argument by anecdote.
Also, lets once again go back to the fact that if you have these opinions then you should exercise your right to vote and the fact that your refusal to do so totally undermines any argument you make, particularly the one that said that any sort of protest is pointless and people should just wait until the next election.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 11:06, Reply)

You think I should disregard reports from someone
who worked on the inside for several years and was disgusted by what she saw? I should point out that she is also a fucking mug who thought that Labour getting in was the dawn of a new fucking era - and then bought your mate Clegg's bullshit at the last one too.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 11:10, Reply)

No. I would say the chances of a demonstration
causing a government policy reversal are almost certainly nil.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Strictly within the UK is this?
Because events around the world would suggest otherwise.
If there came a point when a demonstration populated and supported by the majority of the public (not saying that this is the case with the anti-cuts marches) did not sway Government decision making then could you not argue that the UK was no longer under democratic rule?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:48, Reply)

You're confusing 'demonstration' with 'armed revolution' here, I think.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:52, Reply)

I do not think so
Egypt was a demonstration, not an armed revolution.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:53, Reply)

It's funny because you don't take part in the democratic process anyway
so your opinion is entirely worthless.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:26, Reply)

exactly! how can anyone not see that costing the country MORE MONEY is not the way forward?
the country has run out of money. how about this novel idea: maybe if you got a better job and paid more tax instead of wasting your time marching along waving bits of cardboard about your entitlement to get stuff out of a bankrupt state system, the country would have more money to spend on the important things like schools and the NHS.

where is our favourite little protestor anyway? too busy shagging her bf to care about politics like all good feminists probably.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:26, Reply)

She has probably been nicked.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:28, Reply)

i love the way that the rioters were wearing masks
if your principles are so fucking important, why hide behind a mask?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:28, Reply)

Because Daddy won't be able to show his face at the golf club if they bring shame on the family?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:30, Reply)

...and because within a few years they'll be MPs themselves and that simply won't do.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Swipey, retarded argument is retarded as I've pointed out before
and if people wanted to have a big demonstration in favour of destroying all prospects of growth and the backdoor privatisation of the NHS then they would be perfectly within their rights to do so.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:28, Reply)

but what has it achieved, al?
if every single one of those protestors had donated a day's salary to the NHS instead, it would have raised well over £500,000. how many nurses would that pay for a year?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:30, Reply)

12

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:31, Reply)

much more useful
tools!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:36, Reply)

If memory serves me she's on the blob
Still where there's a hole there's a goal
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:29, Reply)

if memory serves?
i drank my way through oxford from thu-sun and i couldn't drink the memory away.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:31, Reply)

Three months of congealment hanging out of her gipper :(((((
I wouldn't want to be in the adjoining coach seat to that for several hours
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:37, Reply)

National Express required a govt bailout
And their staff are STILL getting paid. No protestor could possibly use such a service.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:40, Reply)

It's just a shame that hole is presently occupied by a police horse's hoof.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:31, Reply)

kinky

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:32, Reply)

It's a shame the Met don't use camels.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:32, Reply)

They got the hump didn't they?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:33, Reply)

LTI

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:33, Reply)

YES!
woop woop!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Jeff telling to you LTI
is like me calling you a bumlord.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:36, Reply)

I know
I feel validated now
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:37, Reply)

I know
I feel validated arse raped by the prancing poof now.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:38, Reply)

Do I need to score this?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Yeah, it's a first-time effort, I've not posted a 'Darth is a fruit' message before.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:41, Reply)

7/10
Partly because you post more than anyone else, as is well documented, and have restrained yourself thus far, but mostly for "prancing poof"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:43, Reply)

takes one to know one

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:37, Reply)

We can smell our own
Morning mate. Good weekend? How's the back?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:39, Reply)

back is mostly better
although gets worse when lying down. Surfing yesterday was good for it I am sure.

Weekend was great, thanks for asking.

How about you?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Not bad thank you
Looked at mattresses. Pulled up nettles. I am officially middle-aged.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:47, Reply)

I'm trying my best to stay young
by hurting myself on trampolines, staying up stupidly late and various other silly things.

It doesn't seem to be working. My mrs claims she found some grey hairs on my head.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:49, Reply)

If only

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:33, Reply)

It is Brighton
Dirty fuckers
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:35, Reply)

That is some quite detailed information you seem to have.
I won't ask how you know this as I don't want to know.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:32, Reply)

There was a flurry of menstruating wimmin blogging about being on the rag last week
Another bad strike against the internet
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:35, Reply)

One of my best friends is a crisis consultant at HBOS.
Last bankers' bonuses demonstration they had there, he and his compatriots photocopied some money and threw huge stacks of these photocopied bills out of the windows at the protestors.
( Kroney, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:25, Reply)

I think you mean
'they were all suddenly wracked with remorse for their greedy ways, and immediately donated their bonuses to charity when they saw a load of smelly students walking down the streets carrying placards (displaying misspelt and horribly embarrassing slogans about 'Bliar' etc.) and bellowing inflammatory gibberish into megaphones'.

That's what you mean, isn't it?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:28, Reply)

One time he lured some hippies into the foyer by posting a light female security detail on the door
and then had them arrested for entering the premesis without permission.
( Kroney, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:30, Reply)

I've just broken my finger by clicking so fucking hard

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:33, Reply)

this has made me laugh
you do have a way with words
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 10:31, Reply)