The scores are in!
Following dozens* of requests to know who has the highest average for the gay jibes, I can now present the following awards.

Most gay insults in total goes to my old mucker Sportscow, one of my favourite B3tans. *something about keeping one's enemies close*

Special award for services to consistency, poo jokes aside, goes to TGB with three posts to date, all of them scored 8/10. Mention also to BelladonnaAnodyne, with two at the same score. This is how it's done, Rory. Speaking of which...

Person with the most piss-poor scores (4 or below) - bit of a surprise, this one - is Monty Boyce, with three 4/10's and three 3/10's. Which means I owe Rory an apology, having told him he was the only person to rack up a 3, it turns out Monty and Crow have done it too. And that's not the worst of it...

Worst single score EVER - 1(ONE!)/10 no surprises here, JeffTheDogFucker

Most improved B3tan is Vipros, who hasn't scored below a 7 since deciding to raise his game. But he's not yet a member of...

The 9/10 club, the creme de la creme. Current members; Monty Boyce (twice), Sportscow (twice), The Supreme Crow and NakedApe.

And finally... the top five. In the interests of fairness I've ruled that six posts or less is too few. Got to really want it, you see. Drumroll please.

5th - Monty Boyce - 6.22
4th - The Supreme Crow - 6.42
3rd - Sportscow - 6.70
2nd - Vipros - 6.82
1st - NakedApe - 6.92

Good work, all of the above. Full scores can be obtained in the replies upon request.


*two
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:04, 30 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Wow, that's a lot of words just to say "look at me"

(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:06, Reply)

I've not had as much practice as you

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:07, Reply)

zing

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:07, Reply)

oh, man, that's a sick burn.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:09, Reply)

Your haircut says differently.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:09, Reply)

I do not need tonsorial advice from you of all people

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:10, Reply)

I'm just suggesting you stop getting your tonsorial advice from Salvador Dali

(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:13, Reply)

Hahaha!
I'd say that is Chompy back in the game at 2-1 Darth
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:14, Reply)

Fair play, that was a corker
I have very little by way of retort, and will concede
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:15, Reply)

Also the whole ears thing, it just screams LOOK AT ME

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:14, Reply)

oh, double burn.
Darth, can you up the game?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:10, Reply)

How can he up it if
he's on it?!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:14, Reply)

Hahahahaha
I can't believe you actually went through them all!

In your face everyone!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:06, Reply)

Does this mean i'm the most homophobic person on here, or jucst the most inventive?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:07, Reply)

Good question
You're not the most homophobic, I don't think, that's probably Rory by virtue of his being the most hate-filled generally. I think what you can glean from this is that your crap joke filter is more finely tuned than most people's!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:09, Reply)

by the huge level of denial
I'd say it means you're the most left-footed tail-end charlie here.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:09, Reply)

*comes out*
*goes into Darth*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:10, Reply)

GET TO FUCK YA BATTY BOY

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:11, Reply)

I posted one earlier, and you missed it, you fucking shirt lifting cunt.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:06, Reply)

I hope it was slightly more elaborate than that

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:07, Reply)

Aye, slightly
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1149691
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:11, Reply)

Excellent strikethrough
7/10. Giving you an average of 7/10.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:16, Reply)

I shall try to remember to call you a poof more often.
Ideally in a Welsh accent and in rhyme.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:07, Reply)

You'll get an extra point every time you call me a poof with specific reference to GLC lyrics
Incidentally, your average score is currently a 7, off two efforts. So if you can manage a few more without going below that score, you'll go straight in at the top of the leaderboard.

What the fuck am I doing?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:14, Reply)

I would like to point out that you frequently fail to even notice my efforts, as I tend to favour the more subtle cussdown.
Well, it's either my subtlety or the enormous tangled mat of belly-hair obscuring your line of sight.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:26, Reply)

If you could, in future, append the text equivalent of a neon sign saying "GAY JIBE BE HERE", as you have above
You'll get more 8/10's, like this one.

*click*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:28, Reply)

what sort of time period is this over?

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:10, Reply)

Since I started marking them
About a month
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:10, Reply)

I'm going to have to start my efforts
can't lag behind
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:10, Reply)

You do have one score to your name
but it was only a 6
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:11, Reply)

How did you search?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:12, Reply)

Entered "10/10" into search!
Quiet day at work. Bored.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Hmmm.
Help yourself out by using the word "score" and the contender's name in your scoring post for ease of searching and indexing next time.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:20, Reply)

That is good advice indeed, thank you
"Next time" might be a tad optimistic though
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:26, Reply)

When you mentioned collating them the other day I thought
"That's gonna take some time and effort, that" and decided on the best way to make it easier in future /former web geek yes I am this sad
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:28, Reply)

That's awfully good of you
Welcome to Team Foxtrot
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:28, Reply)

Hey, I ain't picking favourites, it never ends well and your breasts are likely to be smaller than hers.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:30, Reply)

what was it?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:13, Reply)

I absolutely cannot remember, sorry
I've seen a lot of gay jibes this afternoon
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:16, Reply)

I'll have to up my game
and get on the memorable jibes list
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:17, Reply)

And you're about to see a hell of a lot more, you raging Wally Woofter...

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:17, Reply)

I must advise you at this juncture
that you've had less posts than any of the rest of the top five. A few poor posts and your average will plummet. Choose your next insult wisely
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:24, Reply)

Did you do that on purpose?
It's fewer, you leaky twat.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:31, Reply)

I did not
I've always had a bit of a grammatical blind spot there
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:33, Reply)

*eyebrow twitches*
We've been over this one before, Mlle La Petite Renne.

You know what I'm talking about.

Read back over your reply, go on. Spotted it yet?

"you've had less posts than any of the rest" - that's the snippet I'm referring to. How many times do I have to remind you?

How many times, Darth? How many times?

I've had FEWER posts than the rest of the top five. FEWER posts, Mr Bumfuckstrot. Fucking hell, I can tolerate your squealing, mincing, sub-Priscilla-Queen-of-the-Desert wooftery, but your grammar still leaves as much to be desired as the "baskets-only" checkout in fucking ASDA.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:32, Reply)

The elaborate insult in the last line is worth 7/10
But as I'm feeling generous, you can have an 8 for the post as a whole. Very nicely done. No, I cannot be bothered to reconfigure the top five. Do it yourself.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:34, Reply)

Oh, you're feeling generous, are you? Feeling generous today?
How very good of you. How awfully decent of you.

Fucking hell, Ginger Rogers, since when was I under the thumb of your great and mighty judgement? If I wish to call you a filthy poove and mock your turdburgling ways I shall do it on my own terms and bally well have done with it!
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:39, Reply)

Loving the Ginger Rogers reference. Fuck me, that woman could dance
I'm not going to mark the rest of it, though.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:42, Reply)

It seemed appropriate
Particularly if you truncate her famous quote about working with Fred Astaire and analogise it to you. That is, doing "everything backwards, and in heels."
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:45, Reply)

You can have another 8/10 for that
Partly because I love that quote, partly because it's fucking funny but mostly because you KNOW said quote. You bender.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:50, Reply)

Turdburgling lols.

(berk, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Can I click this a million times please?

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:34, Reply)

It's all exercise innit

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:39, Reply)

I beat you to it. I swore he'd done it just to rile you.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:35, Reply)

I honestly, genuinely didn't
Taking a tongue-lashing (easy) of this nature means that if I do it again it will definitely be deliberate
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:42, Reply)

It's Crow and TGB's thing
But he does get so AWFULLY angry, the poor dear...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:44, Reply)

The difference is, I know TGB just does it to wind me up
Whereas I suspect Mr All-male-Glee-club over here either does it because of the funny dialect they speak around Bayroot (Greater Norwich) or because he's a fucking Harvey Price.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:48, Reply)

That is ridiculous
"All-male-Glee-club" indeed. I can't sing for toffee.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:51, Reply)

No, but you're happy enough to go mining for it

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:00, Reply)

Good god, man, fourth place is worthy enough!
7/10. Now stop, please, there is such a thing as oversaturation. Yes, yes, I know I would know.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:03, Reply)

I wasn't aware, although he has chastised me for it before
Consider me told. And thank you for telling me where his buttons are.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:49, Reply)

You'll keep your lube-scented, pebbledashed hands away from my buttons
This shirt isn't for lifting.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:51, Reply)

You're really going for it today, aren't you?
7/10
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:51, Reply)

Have I ever had one?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:13, Reply)

Nope
I'm perfectly content with this state of affairs
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:17, Reply)

What's the capital of Turkey?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:16, Reply)

Ankara
Look who you're asking
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:16, Reply)

I just wanted to join in the asking questions game.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Carry on Anne
You know I loves it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:19, Reply)

Will I ever have sex with your mum?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:17, Reply)

I think you need to be polite
....and get in the queue like the rest of us
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:19, Reply)

She's doing somekindof mass Bukkake thing for charity but ideally I'd like to get in before she's showered in spunk
*fingers crossed*
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Yeah, for Just Giving (head)

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:26, Reply)

It's not cool to be proud of being mocked and bullied
You're not sticking it to your tormentors, as they still think that you're a dick, and a gaylord dick at that
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:11, Reply)

Do you really think I did this to make people think I was cool?
You can think whatever you want of me, as I seriously doubt it's halfway so little as I think of you.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:18, Reply)

You fucking crave the attention
Nobody cares about your shit scoring and yet here you are starting a thread dedicated to it.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:25, Reply)

You fucking idiot
People obviously do care!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:26, Reply)

Where's my fucking score ?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:34, Reply)

What, for "gaylord dick"?
Do you really want to know?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:36, Reply)

Damn straight

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:37, Reply)

3/10 again
Congratulations, last place is still very much yours
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:41, Reply)

YES!!!

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:09, Reply)

Oh man!
I'm as proud of this as I am being No.1 on the post-o-meter that TGB did!

I'm making a celebratory tea/coffee round. Who wants what?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:12, Reply)

i have green tea coming thanx

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:13, Reply)

Green tea isn't an acceptable drink for a man
you raging fucking Mary.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:14, Reply)

This^
green tea = mouldy tea
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:16, Reply)

wrong
green tea is what ninjas drink

FACT
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:28, Reply)

Only the astoundingly gay ones.
who spend their days crocheting kittens.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:33, Reply)

yeah, crocheting kittens TO DEATH

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:34, Reply)

*facepalms*
Edit: Have you considered sharing these important statistics with Alfonso Bongo?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:14, Reply)

I don't know who that is
So no
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:17, Reply)

He's the guy who accused offtopic
of being homophobic and racist and suchlike
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Aha
I doubt he'd see the funny side
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:19, Reply)

We've got to stop meeting like this.

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:19, Reply)

Yours was expressed more beautifully
does your wife know you are here?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:24, Reply)

She's probably spotted me by now.
I do need to have a word with you though
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:32, Reply)

*is all ears*

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:54, Reply)

I'll gaz you, it's a bit mundane for open board

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:56, Reply)

awaits

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:00, Reply)

Monsieur Bongo
Was the second-rate troll who tried to raise heckles on /talk a couple of weeks ago by complaining about the levels of homophobia on /offtopic, in particular citing Obergrüppnenführer Boyce as the ringleader.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:19, Reply)

Innacurate, clearly
You're worse than Monty. Stats don't lie.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:19, Reply)

t c
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Who's Moncy?
_{Anybody who answers this with a Johnny Vegas impression will be ordered to Leave The Internet forthwith.}
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:22, Reply)

a more poncy version of Monty
if you can believe such a thing.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:38, Reply)

Well, quite, I never meant to imply the whinging little queen was correct in his assumptions

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:21, Reply)

I'm happy enough with that

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:27, Reply)

Good work mate
*shakes hands*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:29, Reply)

thanks

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:30, Reply)

I'd wash 'em now if I were you.
Y'know, what with AIDS and all that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:50, Reply)

No score
Partly because it's not explicitly a gay jibe, and partly because your average needs the help.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:52, Reply)

I must say I'm surprised on two counts.
Firstly, that I'm the only person to get 1/10. And secondly.

You found time to compile this. I thought you'd have been too busy feltching the puss out of Freddie Mercurys piles whilst being taken up the Gary by the ghost of Rock Hudson. All to the sounds of the Pet Shop Boys. On ice.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:28, Reply)

On ice
makes it the 2nd click of the day
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:29, Reply)

Well played. Have an 8/10 for your imagination
That actually brings your average up to 6.2 over five posts.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:31, Reply)

How many wanks have you had over MEN with a 6.9 average?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:32, Reply)

5.4

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:34, Reply)

5/10
Back on form
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:37, Reply)

The Manchester Evening news is not a gay porn mag, Jeff.
It just looks like one.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:51, Reply)

Hahaha

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:52, Reply)

Why the fuck aren't I in bold?

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:29, Reply)

It's more slimming if you're not in bold.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:31, Reply)

You'd look fucking dafter with a shaved head.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:32, Reply)

ER?
Ouch.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:33, Reply)

The "er" was an afterthought.
I don't mean it, I'm fucking awesome really.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:34, Reply)

you are not fucking me!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:34, Reply)

You wish sweetcheeks.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:35, Reply)

I was going for the subtle "I'm awesome" thing there
in case you missed it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:36, Reply)

Thanks for pointing that out.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:36, Reply)

it was my pleasure

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:37, Reply)

No, it was all about the manlove.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:36, Reply)

manlove Benjamins.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:37, Reply)

I should hope not.
This isn't a haven for raving bumsex, you know.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:36, Reply)

could have fooled me
this place is packed wall-to-wall with dirt-road banditoes
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:37, Reply)

I would rightly be accused of favouritism

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:32, Reply)

But everyone else is :(

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:32, Reply)

I'm not even on the list.
Mind you, I think I've only done one gay jibe, and that was earlier today.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:33, Reply)

I've only done two.
I can't remember what they were though.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:35, Reply)

You didn't win one of my awards, that's why
You got an honourable mention but TGB won the category.

Sorry.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:37, Reply)

I demand an award.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:38, Reply)

Also
When you say "with two at the same score", did I have two 8/10s, or just two at the same (not 8) score?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:38, Reply)

Two 8/10s
I can't remember them now either. I'll give you an award in August. IFYOUKNOWWHATIMEAN
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:39, Reply)

We have had this discussion.
However, given that I might not even be here in August, I would like something now, you filthy, cock-badgering sluthound. Or are you too busy trying to pile your entrails back in after your lunchtime ramming from 'Big Stavros'?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:47, Reply)

Here's an award:
I won't mark that, as it would lower your average and give you a sadface
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:54, Reply)

You're mean today.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:55, Reply)

I was nice yesterday though!
I'll probably be nice tomorrow. Law of averages
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:02, Reply)

Hmph.
What were my gay jibes?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:04, Reply)

Can't remember
Noel had some suggestions up there somewhere ^ on how to filter the search. I'm off to the doctor's shortly so can't check it myself.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:07, Reply)

My Big Fat Greek Heading

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:54, Reply)

I have a good one.
Well, I think it's good. Just have to wait for the right set up.

My only contribution to the world of gay insults was rather spectacular, I have to say.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:33, Reply)

I'm very proud of my pretty much only contribution too.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:35, Reply)

Mine was in real life and caused monty to almost cry.
A glorious moment.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:36, Reply)

Crow's wrists, right?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:37, Reply)

The one and only.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:39, Reply)

The massive teapot.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:40, Reply)

*sings Chesney Hawkes*

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:57, Reply)

*sigh*
sings bums.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:02, Reply)

Heheh
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1064283#post1064286
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:37, Reply)

that's a beauty

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:38, Reply)

I don't really do memes but that one just rolled off my fingertips.
I got on the /board popular page a few days back too, I was massively fucking smug.
Edit: www.b3ta.com/board/10380835
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:42, Reply)

like it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:47, Reply)

That was an absolute belter
Such a shame I hadn't started scoring then. And be honest, if I went back through B3ta retroactively scoring gay jibes it'd take me... *counts on fingers*... the rest of my life
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:39, Reply)

Amazing.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Damn my restraint I should have played

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:39, Reply)

I'm bloody glad you haven't, you'd likely be very good at it
You do have a single 6/10 to your name. Can't remember what for.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:43, Reply)

Really? I will wait until I see what I deem to be a ten out of ten
Opportunity and play then
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:46, Reply)

I can't wait to see something funny enough to be worthy of a 10

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:53, Reply)

Have a look in your pants, then

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:54, Reply)

Your tape measure is an inch out
but in my favour, so I thank you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:57, Reply)

You may have a while.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:55, Reply)

is this a challenge?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:55, Reply)

It is indeed
The grading system is designed to improve the standard of gay jibes around these parts. If someone comes up with a 10/10 I will personally click it until my mouse breaks and propose that it takes pride of place in the newsletter.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:58, Reply)

How about the biohazard report on the
substances found round your anus?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:58, Reply)

That was quite amusing
Never a 10 though. Most of the substances were entirely predictable.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:00, Reply)

I'm pretty sure I did at least one, is this because I'm one of god's chosen? suddenly I don't count anymore?
In other news, I almost told the guy at the Japanese at home to go do one, they have posters up everywhere saying 1/2 price lunch, I wasn't going to go but I was walking past and saw the signs, so I thought I'd get a couple of bits as a take-away. I order the stuff and I say "This is deffo half price, isn't it?" and he says "No, that's for eat in only", so I say "Where does it say that on your signs" and he goes "it doesn't". I then think about it, I bought in a group that spent £250 there on saturday, I spend on average £25-30 each time I go, and he's trying to mug me off.

I was gonna tell him to go do one, but I still want to go there in the future, so I just said "There is less washing up if I eat out, it's less work, are you _sure_ you don't want to do like your signs say?" and he says "Sorry, eat in only" so I say "OK, fine, forget it" and walked out.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:48, Reply)

I'd like to point out that this post cannot be from Gonz
as it is correctly spelled
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:56, Reply)

You did indeed Gonz. It was worth 7.
Haven't listed every single contribution as it would break the internet to do so.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:57, Reply)

Must have done more than one.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:01, Reply)

Possibly so
That was the only one I could find. Only been marking them a month
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:04, Reply)

Oh, I'll try and make more of an effort in the future.
Sorry =(
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:12, Reply)

You should never apologise
for being a good bloke. Not even around this lot.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:18, Reply)

Can we stop this shit now, please, you fucking bent cunt?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:57, Reply)

Someone's a poor loser
Tell you what, I'll stop marking them if you stop calling me a "fucking bent cunt" or derivatives. Deal?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:59, Reply)

GAY JIBE HERE
marking them taking it up the pooper
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:12, Reply)

7/10
Mostly because "GAY JIBE HERE" made me officelol
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:14, Reply)

7/10! Wow I'm off to a flyer

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:16, Reply)

This is actually your second mark
The first was a 6, so you're on the up
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:19, Reply)

I've already done my thread of the day
someone else should do a shit thread.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:00, Reply)

Done

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:04, Reply)

I miss-read that as "You bent fucking cunt" and thought "Oh that monty... if he was fucking cunt, he wouldn't be bent", but you didn't say that.
Can you please edit your post and I'll edit this one, it'll make me look very witty and your misses might leave you for me possibly as an outcome of it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:00, Reply)

I really couldn't give a shit.
Not even a measly little pea sized one. Do you really not have better things to do with your time? Like cleaning the crusty old shit out from under your foreskin or something?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:03, Reply)

It's alright
he gets plenty of shit on a "direct to shaft" application.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:04, Reply)

I've got two things to say to you:
1: Congratulations!! I told you that you'd get it.
2: Kitty said you used the term .com after a word and seemed to think that was acceptable. You're an idiot.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:05, Reply)

1. Thanks
2. She also told me about your friday night, and I was angry on your behalf, but I won't be now. I was too tired to think of anything sensible.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:07, Reply)

Are you shortly to become an official government germ-warfare bod, then?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:08, Reply)

Yep yep yep

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:09, Reply)

nice
congrats.

a friend of mine makes bombs for the government. you two should get together and makes germ bombs
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:11, Reply)

You're like a female Gordon Freeman, in the respect that you like to smash people's heads in with crowbars.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:14, Reply)

And you've got a beard.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:16, Reply)

Are you saying she has headcrabs, Gonz?
I don't think that's very nice.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:16, Reply)

BIt of nutrition, innit.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:24, Reply)

Woo-fucking-hoo, excellent work!
Please let me know when you've perfected person-specific targeted viruses, and I will start devoting my time to severing a piece of Mick Hucknall.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:16, Reply)

Thanks :D
And will do.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:22, Reply)