I shaved off a considerable amount of my Achille's heel yesterday.
The blood was everywhere. The culprit was a dodgy Aldi trolley, and their idea of 'first aid' was the manager offering me her own make-up remover wipes as they had no anti-bacterial wipes.
You would say I deserve this injury for getting my chorizo in Aldi instead of going to Harrod's food court every day and getting caviar 'on-the-slate', but look where that got you.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 May 2011, 9:47, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

My ex girlfriend actually did this shaving her legs
About a 2 inch scar up the back of her heel. OWOWOWOWOWOW
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 May 2011, 9:49, Reply)

It was grim. Doesn't half bleed.
And it got bashed so I felt bilious too.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 May 2011, 9:51, Reply)

NO NO NO
I win the ridiculous leg mutation by shaving award. Don't make me find the pictures again
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 May 2011, 9:51, Reply)

I don't like looking at this, so I don't think I could take pictures.
But it really is a contender. Aldi have blood on their hands.

hands staff room floor
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 May 2011, 9:53, Reply)

That was a mere scratch in comparison to hers

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 May 2011, 9:53, Reply)

I still have a scar :(

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 May 2011, 9:59, Reply)

Chicks dig scars.

( girlinthehole, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:01, Reply)

scars holes in their flesh
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:33, Reply)

Not at all.
Buying things like cured meats, cheeses and bottled beer from foreign supermarkets makes perfect sense. There's no such thing as shit ham in Europe. We invented it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 May 2011, 9:50, Reply)

My heel looks like shit ham right now.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 May 2011, 9:51, Reply)

You should change your login to Shit Ham woMan.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 May 2011, 9:52, Reply)

Can I be shitspampam?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 May 2011, 9:54, Reply)

yes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 May 2011, 9:54, Reply)

OK then.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:22, Reply)

*mourns the loss of wet ham man*

( girlinthehole, Fri 6 May 2011, 9:53, Reply)

RIP
*pours out reasonably-priced bottled beer*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 May 2011, 9:55, Reply)

He lives on in our collective memories

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 6 May 2011, 9:55, Reply)

I'll be honest here, beyond the name and bullying I can't remember why he was so shit

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 6 May 2011, 9:56, Reply)

In truth he was completely inoffensive.
I just said 'I always read your name as wet ham man' (it was slightly different), posted a picture of some wet ham, and that was about it. I love the way he's attained near-mythical status simply for having a name that was a little like 'wet ham man'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:01, Reply)

He'll definitely require a different backstory for the purposes of b3ta folklore

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:04, Reply)

I have actually lolled at how silly it is:
b3ta.com/search/answers?q=wet+ham+man
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:05, Reply)

Pages of boiled goodness
And lo, the grail !!
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post560473#post560526
Berts there as well
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:10, Reply)

Excellent Chompy$killz there

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:18, Reply)

there's an oxymoron
and a moron too
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:20, Reply)

BULLYING !!1111!!!!!!!!!

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:31, Reply)

sssh
i have a hangover. it is epic. go get me a diet coke. freezing cold. with cherry. and a straw.

GO!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:36, Reply)

I@VE JUST PUT INTO INTO MY DISKDRIVE UPLOADING NOW !!!!!!!!!!!111111

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:37, Reply)

well that'll be the end of your posting today then
as you explode in a massive fizzy creamy bang
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:40, Reply)

Why?
Have you thanked him with a twatgaz?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:52, Reply)

in his many steamy sticky dreams, yes

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 May 2011, 11:02, Reply)

Where is he anyway?
He is conspicuous by his absence.
( girlinthehole, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:55, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1191790
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:58, Reply)

oh thank god
this wet ham thing has puzzled me for days.

chin up, you are doing the right thing by controlling it. as a lawyer who deals with a lot of bankruptcy/insolvency shit, ostrich-syndrome is the very worst bit. once you've dealt with it, you can move on sensibly xx
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:17, Reply)

Thanks.
I should feel good that I'm tackling it but I don't. At all. Just a fucking failure/idiot. It's playing havoc with my arrogance levels, I tell you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:19, Reply)

I've been in a similar situation and it's the shame that's the worst.
However, I quickly found that finding a scapegoat helped me to rally from the loss of arrogance magnificently.
( Kroney, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:28, Reply)

Done. It was the brown people.
*dusts off hands*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:31, Reply)

of course you don't feel good honey
it is a horrible thing to do because it is admitting you've made a mistake.

but it's only money. it's not your kid, it's not your family, it's not your health. it's fixable and once the initial shit is over, it's fixed!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:34, Reply)

If you look at Monty's link
it's actually been puzzling you for months.

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1070128#post1070158
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:25, Reply)

Right then dig out Hood Butters magnificent post on /ot about his helicopter skillz, supermodels etc to explain his whole backstory

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:34, Reply)

i don't know this either
arrrrgh

help a brother out, someone.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:35, Reply)

It's so good that a part of you dies inside on reading it

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:36, Reply)

but....
i thought he was married, why else is there a mrs hood-butter??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:37, Reply)

I think part of it was that his wife is a supermodel
or ex supermodel. I expect she has loose morals and likes to bring her supermodel friends over for a wee bit of spit-roasting.
( Kroney, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:40, Reply)

I'd say his marriage must have failed,
but there's no way that dude has ever failed at anything. Ever.

He gets to see FREE BREASTS, for Christ's sake.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:41, Reply)

Split with wife and hooked up with new supermodel.

( girlinthehole, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Do what Rory asks, please
Reading that really will cheer me up.

What. A. Cunt.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 May 2011, 10:36, Reply)

I've got a suspicion he deleted it after being roundly mocked

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 6 May 2011, 11:23, Reply)