The DNA results for Osama Bin Laden
have come back as 46% coconut, 29% cocoa, 19% sugar and 6% milk solids.

An expert says that this is probably due to the fact he had a bounty on his head.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:10, 102 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

4/10

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:11, Reply)

The average life expectancy in Spain is 81
Seve Ballesteros lives up to his reputation by coming in at 27 under par.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:13, Reply)

What's happened to you?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:16, Reply)

it sounds like he's turned into
one of those people who text rubbish jokes linked to things in the news

perhaps he's twitter now
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:17, Reply)

I'm not twitter.
Whatever being twitter is.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:18, Reply)

The art of being annoying in just 146 characters.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 8 May 2011, 21:32, Reply)

Speaking of annoying characters, I've done the list for my bash.
I think I'm going to need a bigger house.
( girlinthehole, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:34, Reply)

Jaws lols.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 8 May 2011, 21:35, Reply)

: )

( girlinthehole, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:35, Reply)

I expect better of you Jeff
Actually, no I don't.

I'd hope for better but that's about what I expect.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:22, Reply)

Evening TD
I'm glad that I fail to meet the low expectations you have of me.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:24, Reply)

Lower than a snake's cock, I'm afraid.
How much further down can you get?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:27, Reply)

Whale shit.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 8 May 2011, 21:28, Reply)

That's what Texans say when they're surprised.

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:30, Reply)

That actually made me smile.
I must be sickening for something.
( girlinthehole, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:25, Reply)

Have a bar of chocolate.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:26, Reply)

i haven't eaten any chocolate in a whole month
and my boss has a massive bag of mini toblerones on his desk. the temptation...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:26, Reply)

i got a message on the dating site
apparently my smile "...it' like a star can light the sky .it is a candle could light the rooms." and that "...sincerly your beauty is typical."

I'm not sure how to take it
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:28, Reply)

Run away!

( girlinthehole, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:29, Reply)

Ni! Ni! Ni!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:30, Reply)

Shrubbery!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 8 May 2011, 21:31, Reply)

oh darn!
I was about to book my ticket to Morrocco as well :(

why is it always north africa?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:30, Reply)

I wouldn't mind a nice bedouin chappie whisking me off to Timbuktu.
Yes I've read 'The Sheltering Sky'.
( girlinthehole, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:32, Reply)

I haven't
perhaps I should since that's where I get a disproportionate number of messages from
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:34, Reply)

Why don't you ask him what your beauty is typical of?

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:33, Reply)

I thought perhaps it was the kind of 'typical'
people say when they are pissed off with someone
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:34, Reply)

He might have meant "topical."
Perhaps he thinks you look like Alex Salmond.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:38, Reply)

For that matter
why is it always african men who when I walk out of a club offer to 'walk me back home' and then follow me for ages?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:54, Reply)

That's it
Run away and work in my doughnut van. Selling doughnuts to my soon to be fat ex-boyfriends.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:30, Reply)

say what?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:31, Reply)

What?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 8 May 2011, 21:32, Reply)

eh?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:35, Reply)

huh?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 8 May 2011, 21:35, Reply)

pardon?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:36, Reply)

Exonerate?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 8 May 2011, 21:37, Reply)

waht the cunting fuck?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:39, Reply)

I have no idea.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 8 May 2011, 21:39, Reply)

nor me

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:40, Reply)

It's Chico time!

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:36, Reply)

Getta your ice cream! Tootsie-frootsie ice cream!

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:41, Reply)

Pimp rag, tootsie pop and a cane.

(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:45, Reply)

I have nothing to add to this thread
So I will tell you of my sewing awesomeness.

This weekend I made :- a dressing gown out of fabric I got from the 50's, I finished a dress that makes me look like I know where to buy random strange clothes from, and a top the sort of which, you can't buy on the high street.

I will probably put some of this awesomeness on my flickr in the week, because everyone in my house is asleep and I want a doughnut.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:37, Reply)

yay! well done!
I crocheted a not particularly impressive thing I will be putting in with randomburn CDs.

You are now making me want to make more stuff.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:40, Reply)

Chrunchey
You don't need a new sewing machine. I have a pal who has a sewing machine from the 70's which is really reliable. If she dies, I hope I get it.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:44, Reply)

If she dies?
She's going to die at some point.
( girlinthehole, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:45, Reply)

Well
I figure that she is going to die before me. She has more impressive stuff than I do, so it would be selfish of me to die first.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:48, Reply)

it's not me who wants a new sewing machine
mine is cool, I bought it when I was doing my textiles course. I free hand embroidered a photograph the other day. I wish it looked cooler than it did
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:46, Reply)

When my mum pops it I'm going to bagsy her sewing machine and learn how to use it.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:01, Reply)

get her to teach you now

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:05, Reply)

An interesting concept.
I'm sure one of us would run out of patience eventually.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:07, Reply)

yeah, but setting up the older machines
can be a bit tricky if no one shows you how. Even the instructions don't always make sense
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:09, Reply)

Noel seems bright,
I'm sure he'd cotton-on in no time.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:11, Reply)

You never know
If you get her to show you now, she may come over all generous, and give it to you. Which means, that you don't have to wait until she dies. Win win I think.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:12, Reply)

Or 'lose your rag'

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:09, Reply)

Actually
We should form a little crafting nook. We can fend of the idiots with our pointy things, and drink coffee feeling smug.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:46, Reply)

yeah!
I shall hook out their brains through their noses with my crochet hooks
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:48, Reply)

A b3ta knitting circle?
I'm needing a nice scarf for next winter, if you'd be so kind.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:48, Reply)

I will tell you what.
If my stuff sells on Etsy, I will consider asking Crunchy for you.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:50, Reply)

You could make DG a Tom Baker Doctor Who scarf.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:51, Reply)

Gosh what an idea
I'm sure that none of the highstreet chains have thought of making long scarves of late.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:53, Reply)

*Spidey senses detect SARCASM*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:01, Reply)

SCARFCASM

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:04, Reply)

hahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:07, Reply)

i made one for myself when dr who came back
it wasn't in the right colours, but damn it was long
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:59, Reply)

So it was just a long scarf then Captain.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:01, Reply)

but it was a dr who long scarf because
it was to celebrate dr who. Since I wore a long coat at the time, too, loads of people made dr who references when I wore it. Actually for some reason this often happens anyway
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:04, Reply)

You should make a snood
That looks a bit like an Ood.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:08, Reply)

that would be rude

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:09, Reply)

Why would a snood that looks like an Ood, be rude?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:14, Reply)

because oods find it rude when you wear a snood
and it catches the bits of your food
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:14, Reply)

Lies.
The ood won't find it rude if you're wearing a snood.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:17, Reply)

do you really think they find it gooood?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:20, Reply)

Yes.
As it is the scarf that'll make 'em barf.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:21, Reply)

I love long scarves
I really want to get my college scarf (generally six feet) but part of suspects that may be taking it a bit too far
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:09, Reply)

my dr who one was 8ft - nearer nine once it stretched
as long as you don't want to take them off, and you don't get them caught in things they're OK
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:11, Reply)

I think buying a scarf
in my college colours is probably a bit pretentious though
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:12, Reply)

What is pretentious
About being proud that you got an education?

I tell you what. NOTHING.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:13, Reply)

I had one for mine
and it wasn't even a proper uni at the time :)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:14, Reply)

Were you in Gryffindor?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:15, Reply)

even less
academically thought of than that
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:16, Reply)

I should totally buy a new sewing machine.
I like sewing. I need to make some cushions for my rocking chair.
( girlinthehole, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:40, Reply)

How old are you if you've got fabric you've had for 60 years?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:41, Reply)

Well
This incarnation, thus far, I am into my 30s in human years.

We have this thing called Ebay, where you buy other people's old tat. Perhaps I can give you an tutorial?
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:43, Reply)

and you can buy things off of the past

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:47, Reply)

Generally, that's how it works.
I'm sure that we have all had something from the future. We just don't know about it.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:48, Reply)

yet

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:49, Reply)

Yet

(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:50, Reply)

That was pretty bad Jeff
I hope you're ashamed
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:54, Reply)

I think you are barking at the wrong tree there.

(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:55, Reply)

NEVER!
It made Blousie smile, that's enough for me.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:56, Reply)

Actually it was just wind.

( girlinthehole, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:56, Reply)

*sobs*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:57, Reply)

Don't cry Jeff
When was the last time a woman farted at you?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 8 May 2011, 21:58, Reply)

I don't know actually TD
But your comment reminded me of this.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWBUl7oT9sA
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:00, Reply)

It may be the ultimate of courtesy in some cultures.

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:04, Reply)

if it was bad for jeff
that makes it soooo bad.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:09, Reply)

absolutely
how are you?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:10, Reply)

urgh!
nice weekend but been in work since about 2 and it's hot and it smells bad!

also will gaz you......

you ok?? xx
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:11, Reply)

when you heading home?
I'm okay, could always be worse :)

bought a new dress
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:11, Reply)

will be here til midnight and no later, i have promised myself this
ooooh tell me about the dress! or linky??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:13, Reply)

good on you
it's been on site for ages, kept forgetting to buy it- then 10% off deal made me www.allsaints.com/women/dresses/temptress-dress/black/wdc058-5
Realistically, I have about seven identical dresses, but one more black dress is always good
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:14, Reply)

oh, nice
dress it down with boots or trainers, dress it up with sparkles and heels - i approve!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 8 May 2011, 22:16, Reply)