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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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There are loads of police outside my building surrouding a derelict tower block. I hope they are there to shoot some squatters.

Bogies, disgusting nosed based turds or delicious manner from your head?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:02, 134 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
Why are the filth harshing the homeless?
Are they about to knock the blocks down? If so, will you get a front seat at any demolition?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:04, Reply)
Because they stink of piss and make subways thoroughly unpleasant

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:13, Reply)
12" Homeless sub with hot chilli sauce is nice

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:20, Reply)
They're probably Polish or similar forrins
Coming over here, stealing our squats.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:23, Reply)
Soooo tasty though
I call it the "Crusty Box"
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:25, Reply)
Extra ulcers on mine please Mr!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:26, Reply)
"Hold the needles"
Actually don't hold them
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:36, Reply)
why does everyone have such long names?
I find that the instant you clip your nails you start to grow massive boogies.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:05, Reply)
Do you put your toes up your nose?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:06, Reply)
not lately...
do you?
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:08, Reply)
Hee can't even see his toes, let alone put them anywhere


I actually have never met Al and cannot comment on his lardiness. I'm just trying to make fun of him so the cool kids will like me.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 May 2011, 16:24, Reply)
I've met your brother
and he proper bum fancies me.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:38, Reply)
Oh, he so does.
But then, his standards have never risen beyond 'Scouser'
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 May 2011, 16:43, Reply)
Because my name was stolen so I give myself a differrnet title every day or so
This one is from the British Raj
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:46, Reply)
Is there a Tesco Express opening nearby soon?
In Bristol, it takes a new convenience store to open before plod do anything about squatters.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:08, Reply)
In Bristol
it's even more conventient if the store has no windows.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 May 2011, 16:27, Reply)
Fuck me, your spelling is something else mate
I'm indifferent to bogies, they're annoying whilst in your nose but quite satisfying to remove. I don't eat them though, because I'm not 5.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:08, Reply)
I don't even think 5 year olds eat them.

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:10, Reply)
Bear in mind where I live
5 years here is like 6 months in terms of development
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:11, Reply)
that's not nice

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:12, Reply)
I'm not a very nice person

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:15, Reply)
You are really though, aren't you?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:18, Reply)
YEAH! YOU ARE REALLY THOUGH, AREN'T YOU!

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:19, Reply)
I'm glad you both think so

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:19, Reply)
I don't actually. I think you're a horrible person.
And your mama dresses you funny.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:23, Reply)
Yo mamma is so fat
I'd have to take a cab to get on her good side.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:24, Reply)
Yo mama is so fat
her gynaecologist has to be a mountaineer
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:25, Reply)
YO MAMA SO POOR HER BREASTS ARE REAL

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:29, Reply)
This is the best response.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:32, Reply)
Pfft

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:47, Reply)
Yo Mama so fat
when I swerved to avoid her in the road, I ran out of gas!
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:30, Reply)
Do you drive an LPG powered car?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:33, Reply)
Nope
But when did you last hear an African American refer to a car that was powered by "petrol?"
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:35, Reply)
/pedant
Sorry, couldn't help it
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:36, Reply)
^best

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:34, Reply)
Yo mama so fat
When she goes to the cinema, she sit next to everyone
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:25, Reply)
Yo mamma so ugly
When she cry, the tears run down her back!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:26, Reply)
My mother was killed just yesterday in a panda/hiking incident
YOU INCONSIDERATE PRICK
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:30, Reply)
Good.
Bitch.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:32, Reply)
Yeah, I thought so too
I WANTED TO GO TO LEGOLAND YOU COW!
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:33, Reply)
yo mama so ugly she's actually a virgin and you're adopted

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:30, Reply)
yo mama so fat she heard it was chilly outside so she ran and got a bowl

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:30, Reply)
Haha!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:30, Reply)
Class.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:33, Reply)
This one is best.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:32, Reply)
I have changed my mind, you are correct.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:33, Reply)
lololol

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:45, Reply)
yo mama so fat she puts her belt on with a boomerang

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:45, Reply)
yo mama so dirty she gotta creep up on bath water

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:49, Reply)
yo mama so ugly bigfoot takes pictures of her

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:50, Reply)
yo mama so fat I took a picture of her last christmas and it's still printing

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:53, Reply)
Yo mama is so ugly that her pillow cries at night

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:56, Reply)
irl lol

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:58, Reply)
I'm glad of that
because that was my last good one.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 17:03, Reply)
Yo mama so fat, every time she turns round it's your birthday.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:46, Reply)
how do wooks?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:47, Reply)
Fucking busy, but not bad ta.
Yourself?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:49, Reply)
maudlin-skint
but other than that not bad. today at least has raced past and I've achieved fuck all. just wangled a day out on friday too.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:51, Reply)
Happy days.
I am having an excellent week improving-my-career-prospects-wise, but it's fucking shit for skiving.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:57, Reply)
yo mama so fat she sat on a rainbow and got skittles

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:55, Reply)
...
Your family is poor, Kenny.
YOUR FAMILY IS POOR!
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:59, Reply)
Really? I don't have a bad word to say against yo' mama, I don't believe in dissing girls who I've been intimate with.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 18 May 2011, 18:21, Reply)
Shh, I'm trying to be an internet hardman for Rory's amusement
Yes
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:19, Reply)
Did you upload your WL program last night?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:20, Reply)
Didn't have chance mate
Haven't discussed it with Ms Foxtrot yet but am confident she'll veto as is ultra-paranoid about our IP address going on a terror list or something
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:22, Reply)
That's ridiculous, I've been stealing films and movies for years and never had any bother
although with the police outside...

ALT: discuss it? You are the "man" of the relationship
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:23, Reply)
Hahahahahahahaha
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

hahaha...

*pause for breath*

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

No I'm not
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:24, Reply)
Alt: he *so* isn't

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 May 2011, 16:25, Reply)
You on youtube = terror
That's for sure
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:24, Reply)
Not just me
Me in a WAISTCOAT
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:25, Reply)
*shudders*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:26, Reply)
Yeah, you tell him about your bogies there man
He'll be shitting bricks at his PC
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:20, Reply)
I'll put a vote up on the board for team Darth

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:19, Reply)
:-)
Cheers mate
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:21, Reply)
No problem sir

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:24, Reply)
Fixed it
It's more poor typing than anything and then a complete faliure to reread before posting
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:10, Reply)
One of them sneezed on me today, it was fucking gross.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:33, Reply)
I hope they turn round and shoot YOU
and then have a massive acid techno party in the street outside your office with the squatters, dancing over your twisted contorted lifeless body.

No offence.
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:14, Reply)
Needs MOAR tits

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:19, Reply)
i like tits

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:44, Reply)
It's alright.
Calm down.
Think of breasts.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:19, Reply)
i like breasts :) :)

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:44, Reply)
Terrible bullying.
I hope you get dead pandas bumhole bum aids.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:21, Reply)
ouch

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:22, Reply)
you'd know

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:22, Reply)
I don't like to talk about my panda bumhole AIDS

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:23, Reply)
Oh man, the last bout of dead panda bumhole bum aids has only just cleared up :(((

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:37, Reply)
i hope squatters steal your house and piss on your granny

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:22, Reply)
SO'S YOUR MUM

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:38, Reply)
I find a nice big satisfying bogie to be a thing of joy
I have quite a small nose though so it's easily blocked
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:15, Reply)
strikethrough time
nose cock
blocked lost amongst my 3 pubes
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:19, Reply)
You would be Monty's dream coke-share buddy.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:21, Reply)
My dream coke-share buddy is 'my other nostril'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:35, Reply)
You still have two?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:36, Reply)
Westbrookelols

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:37, Reply)
It's actually my nickname for my anus.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:40, Reply)
Hahahaha!
Touche.

From prossie's lips to your anus.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:41, Reply)
Michael Palin's shelved 'after watershed' series idea.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:42, Reply)
Could somebody fetch my shoe out of the water, please?
Turns out I've been a complete Joey for about the last 36 hours.

Mmm, delicious shoulder.

-bangs head on desk-
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:24, Reply)
Tell us more, oh buffoon

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:26, Reply)
It's not even that interesting.
Not unlike Aber earlier, I've spared seemingly fucking ages working through the same bit of computer code, checking that it's doing the right thing at each stage, wondering what's making the numbers disappear, and it turns out it's the tiniest fucking typo.

I feel like an utter Harvey.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:31, Reply)
Been there done that
Am scripting tomorrow too so will no doubt do it again
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:32, Reply)
It's just infuriating
when I think how much further ahead I could be if I'd managed to refrain from typing like an absolute spastic last night.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:33, Reply)
This is the story of my life on here

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:34, Reply)
I aggreeex

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:35, Reply)
...

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:26, Reply)
I reckon Joey destroyed the Blue Peter Garden.
They probably left him parked out there whilst they went to update the lifeboat totaliser or organise another Bring and Buy sale, but Joey got bored and decided to take his chair for spin. That's how it happened. Possibly.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:30, Reply)
I'm pretty sure someone on /QOTW admitted that they did it




whilst joy riding a Honda Accord
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:31, Reply)
I reckon it was Peter Duncan, out of his mind on that Mongo juice from Flash Gordon.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:38, Reply)
hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 18 May 2011, 17:14, Reply)
Maybe that's where Bin Laden is *really* hiding.
I am not discussing bogeys, on account of not being six.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 May 2011, 16:34, Reply)
How about fanny bogies then?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:35, Reply)
I'm glad to say
this is an entirely new phenomenon to me.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 May 2011, 16:36, Reply)
Those sticky little bits of discharge...

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:39, Reply)
I'm going to stop you there
because this is inappropriate behaviour.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 May 2011, 16:40, Reply)
I'm just sayin' like

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:42, Reply)
Snot funny is it.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:36, Reply)
I think you know what comes next

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 May 2011, 16:39, Reply)
Hey Jeff - I think you're going to get an offer of sex here!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:41, Reply)
No, my dog's busy

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 May 2011, 16:44, Reply)
snot, mucus, any sort of secretion from the body makes me feel a bit ill
but especially snot and mucus
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:46, Reply)
I'll call Fedex and see if I can can stop them from delivering the parcel I've sent you, then.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:47, Reply)
Talk about misreading the signals. Fucking hell.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:49, Reply)
It's 'manna' you fucking spaniel.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:44, Reply)
Whatever god squad

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:45, Reply)
Oh zing!!!!

(eh? what on earth are you wittering on about now?)
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:46, Reply)
The first mention of manna must be the Iseralites wandering in the desert

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:47, Reply)
The first mention of the 'Iseralites' was you, just now, you shit-spelling Cambodian.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:49, Reply)
I think that's the correct spelling if you're using the "Desmond Dekker Phonetic Dictionary"

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:51, Reply)
Naff off Speak and Spell

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:52, Reply)
Just noticed that.
Hahahahahaha! Spanyul.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:50, Reply)
The other option was 'spackerjack pen'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:55, Reply)
YOUR DUGS GOT TITS

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 18 May 2011, 17:52, Reply)
*whistles*

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 17:27, Reply)

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