heeeeeeeey my friend has just started a photography business with the camera her parter bought for her!
I don't know anything about cameras but look at this!
she's going to make loads of cash!
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 15:58, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Tell her she needs to not take pictures of ugly people
and that she needs to not use really shit fonts badly laid out on top of them
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 15:59, Reply)

youarenotaphotographer.com/
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:00, Reply)

hahahaha
exactly
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:01, Reply)

there are so many people who think they are photographers at the mo, it's quite irritating
have you seen all the dull photos people put on the /board where they've just HDR'ed the bastard out of it and everyone is like "oh, that is so lovely" WHY THE FUCK DID I BOTHER TRAINING IN THIS SHIT?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:04, Reply)

I do like nice HDR photos
but I get your point. I'm so far from being a photographer it hurts.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:04, Reply)

HDR is not necessarily a bad thing
but it's like people fear shadows in pictures at the moment. There's also rehashing of old photography arguments, hence my last coll3ctive post. I feel the need to be the grumpy old woman of photography putting down all the upstarts.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:08, Reply)

you've got the knowledge
it is your right to be all grumpy about it and put down upstarts. I'd do the same about surfing and guitar playing
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:10, Reply)

Yes, you would if you were any good at either of those things.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:12, Reply)

you can't see it
but that made me do a wry smile, because those are two of the things I am actually good at
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:14, Reply)

You can't see it, but that actually made me spit water all over my desk.
Am I still getting an invite? I'm keeping the day free especially and I'm going to make you an awesome card that says "With cards this awesome, who needs expensive wedding presents" because I'm not going to get you an expensive wedding present. Probably just some bacon or something.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:17, Reply)

oh man, bacon would be sweet
I haven't mentioned it to the mrs, but I strongly suspect that if I said I'd like to invite a few people from here then she wouldn't mind.

it'd have to be to the evening bit only though, because we are tightfisted.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:18, Reply)

I'm getting you less bacon now.
But if you invite CHCB and catface then we can all chip in and get you some awesome bacon. I had some the other day that was cured with treacle. It was great, when you cooked it, it looked like you had burnt it really easily, but it was just caramalised.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:20, Reply)

that sounds pretty good

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:24, Reply)

I wish someone would tell her this.
I want to bash my face into a wall every time I see her talk about it.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:07, Reply)

Gaz me her number. I'll do it right now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:08, Reply)

it's taking everything I have not to send you her number

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:16, Reply)

Holy shit
is that second photo Maladicta?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:03, Reply)

She's certainly malformed.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:05, Reply)

the "love is not something blah blah blah" one?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:05, Reply)

Or 'the SECOND ONE', to use another method of identification.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:07, Reply)

what I was getting at
was that it clearly isn't her in that photo, so I was making sure he wasn't being retarded and calling another picture the second one.

you stupid old cunt
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:09, Reply)

It does look a bit like her
Are you thinking of a different midget ex b3tan?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:12, Reply)

wasn't Maladicta a bit on the massive side?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:13, Reply)

Sideways
not up and down.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:15, Reply)

You should have more faith in your ability to count to two.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:15, Reply)

it was Al's ability that I was doubting

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:15, Reply)

And that she should send me a tit-gaz as a matter of urgency.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:00, Reply)

How fucking backward is the place you live?
We have COLOUR photographs over our way.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:01, Reply)

She's being "artistic". She also has some one of a baby in black and white and the pacifier is pink! It's like magic!
It's inspired me to start my own video recording business.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:03, Reply)

colour highlighting has been a function of a lot of digital cameras for a long time
if she is using that then she shouldn't be setting herself up as a photographer
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:04, Reply)

it's better done in Photoshop
but it's still quite frequently shit
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:05, Reply)

Really?
I thought it was something she learned to do at the photo processing center at WalMart!
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:05, Reply)

either way
it's fucking easy, and it screams amateur
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:08, Reply)

Like the Stone Roses performing at the BBC

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:09, Reply)

One of the most pathetic bits of footage of any band ever shot, ever.
In the history of the world.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:14, Reply)

also
they are shit.

crap music for peasants
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:14, Reply)

^ online facts, freely available to all
'Best British album of all time' my fucking shitter.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:20, Reply)

It screams, "I have as much taste as a Northener who has inexplicably come into some money"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:09, Reply)

really, I know this, but no one here realises it
there's a shit ton of people on her facebook page saying things like "oh that's so nice, how much for you to do my kids?!??!!"
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:11, Reply)

I'll do them for free

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:11, Reply)

ah I see
well, the key to a successful business is being adept at conning loads of money from idiots, so it sounds like she is off to a good start
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:12, Reply)

I'd like to cunt punt her and everyone stupid enough to buy her photos
I am almost willing to bet money that she gets them printed at the pharmacy.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:14, Reply)

you are awesome

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:16, Reply)

I don't know why it makes me so angry but it does.

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:19, Reply)

please do
I sucked at running a photograph business, though, because I spent ages doing stuff properly
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:19, Reply)

It's inspired me to start my own imbecile killing business

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:04, Reply)

:(

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:04, Reply)

I got a new digital video recorder for Christmas!

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:06, Reply)

Betamax-tastic!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:08, Reply)

Oh dear, I do hope you haven't invested?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:07, Reply)

nah, my parents bought it for me
but I'm going to start recording things like bunnies eating and deer walking in my back yard, just to show I can do it!
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:09, Reply)

I meant in your friend's business
get a tripod, seriously
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:10, Reply)

No. But the sad thing is that I would probably make a profit, people around here are so dim, not only does she believe they're good, backwater redneck retards believe it too.
It's insulting to the people around here that actually have talent and skill.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:12, Reply)

I'm pissed off that my wedding photographer sold herself partly on ther ability to produce amazing albums
when in the end me and the wife ended up doing it all ourselves. Literally using software on her computer that I had never seen before because I was more capable than she was.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:14, Reply)

That is really really poor, my mates were all awful. She misse the important bits, cut of heads etc
unbelieveable really.

We have ours printed into a book rather than pictures stuck down
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:17, Reply)

The album in the end was fucking excellent
and well worth our hard work. But at the time I was fucking furious.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:22, Reply)

Had you already paid?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:25, Reply)

I can fucking imagine, that's bullshit.

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:26, Reply)

we'll be going with the printed book idea I think

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:25, Reply)

Our album is like a Medieval tome
It is fucking massive
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:27, Reply)

ours will most likely be elegant and stylish
like everything with which I am involved
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:30, Reply)

With a croissant covering

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:31, Reply)

no

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:33, Reply)

That would just be fucking stupid.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:39, Reply)

I know
hardly a lasting memento.

what was he thinking eh?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:41, Reply)

It would go mouldy within days.
What an idiot.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:43, Reply)

I suppose you could be careful to dry it out and preserve it that way
but why would you want to?

it'd just flake all over the place.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:46, Reply)

what a cunt
a mate of ours is doing our photos, and won't accept any money. Not because he's shit, but because he's nice.

He's not a photographer any more though.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:17, Reply)

Ugh that sucks!
I wonder if people actually still develop film old school style.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:17, Reply)

helllo!
that would be me
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:20, Reply)

I'm impressed.
I don't know anything about photography at all, but I think a lot of it is too digital.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:21, Reply)

it's all fun
I teach darkroom, still, and I used to print black and white for a living. I've done colour handprinting, too, but it's expensive to do yourself and hardly anywhere has the facilities .
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:25, Reply)

Shit!
That is terrible. Our wedding album was excellent
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:19, Reply)

Way to rub it in.

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:20, Reply)

I thought so

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:22, Reply)

people often see wedding photographers charging lots and think
"well that's easy" and do a shit job when they realise it's harder than they think. Makes me proper cross. Not that I'd ever do weddings, it's a bastard of a job
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:21, Reply)

our son in law is a photographer
and does a lot of weddings. He did our wedding photos too, which is why he isn't in any of them.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:23, Reply)

that's the advantage of being a photographer
you don't have to be in the pictures.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:28, Reply)

it's like watching the winner of the X-factor makes loads of money
while talented singers and bands are stuck playing shit hole pubs with Blue Haze
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:15, Reply)

haha blue haze, le sigh

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:16, Reply)

They also play festivals, supporting bands such as Simple Minds, consisting of two past members of Simple Minds, and not really Simple Minds at all

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:19, Reply)

Not sure if Noel and I can make it, sorry.
Labs is a maybe.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 16:13, Reply)