HR, finance, IT support and office services
Why are these areas always staffed by useless jobsworths?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:23, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Well if you did your job properly in the first place, they wouldn't have to give you grief.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:24, Reply)

that's bollocks
I do my job well and finance are still cunts.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:26, Reply)

This makes no sense...
HR - don't know what they are doing, work their days to the minute, are massively unhrlpful and try and outsource as much of their work as possible back onto us.

Finance - incapapble of billing on time

IT- slow, useless and patronising

Office services - walk around doing fuck all except meddling where it's not needed
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:27, Reply)

What do you actually do, Apers?
I've just realised I've no idea
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:32, Reply)

Proof reader.

( Kroney, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:33, Reply)

r

Or 'the man who tells Darth a bedtime story'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:34, Reply)

*click*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Secret innit, it involves insight, account and client management and masterbating in the toilets

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Is Glory Hole filler an actual job now?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:36, Reply)

As much as your role as Glory Hole reciever is

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:37, Reply)

Ahh, you fill the vending machines

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:37, Reply)

that's the one
I can get you free Apple Tango if you wnat to come over and watch Steven Segal movies
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:38, Reply)

THAT'S THE BEST OFFER I'VE HAD TODAY

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Loads up "Half Past Dead"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:42, Reply)

We are not slow
We have very strict time limits on all logged IT calls and we hit 98% calls close within resolve time last month. If we don't then we get bollocked.
( Peej, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Oh yeah, we get an auto response really quickly...anything else takes more time

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:36, Reply)

Response is one thing
But we have 98% resolve within time stats you'd probably not hate IT so much if you worked here.
( Peej, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:38, Reply)

We fix most of the stuff on the initial phone call.

( Kroney, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:39, Reply)

Of course not, but in the nicest possible way to you
if you took a straw poll of people here, who don't work in IT support, or on the street a vast majority would say that IT are useless.

This would either because they have no understanding at all of the difficulties of IT support or you are actually all useless
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:41, Reply)

This^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:42, Reply)

I call our lot the SH dept.
SH-IT geddit?

How we laughed.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:45, Reply)

I had to point out to our director
that having a Northern Housing Implmentation Team might be OK but the Southern Housing Implementation Team might not be best pleased by their new nickname
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:46, Reply)

Our IT fellow can do the job, but he likes to make it seem like a black art.
It is his human communication skills that are lacking.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:45, Reply)

One of ours is like that.
And he has some hygiene issues.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:46, Reply)

We have staff like that
Information sponges that cannot be wrung out. It gets right on my tits when people dont tell you things that could help
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:48, Reply)

I tried to explain to people what I'm doing, or why I can't do it
but nobody seemed to give a shit, some of them even said so. So I stopped bothering.
( Kroney, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:50, Reply)

For the vast majority of people
it will be that they don't have the first idea of what they're doing or of what we do, or how difficult it is to do what they're asking us to do.

For the rest, it'll be because there are some cretins working in IT, the same as there is everywhere else.
( Kroney, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:47, Reply)

In fact, a litmus test would be to give them all a week off
and then see how long you last without somebody to explain to you how to sort a spreadsheet (three calls this week) or how to attach a file to an email (two).
( Kroney, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:52, Reply)

The trouble with most people
Is they only contact IT when they have a problem and are thinking negatively. I rescued someone phd the other day and didn't get so much as a thank you. I rebuilt several database servers that went wrong and no-one cared they just saw their websites come back online and though "Took long enough"

Yes the vast majority would say "IT are useless" But if you did a poll and said "Why don't you fix it yourself then" They wouldn't know how.
( Peej, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:55, Reply)

How long does it take to turn it off then back on again?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Not this^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:42, Reply)

Cos McDonald's wouldn't have you

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:25, Reply)

I work in IT support and I can assure you
only about 80% of us are useless and only 50% jobsworths
( Peej, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:26, Reply)

Nonsense
99% of IT staff are fucking useless. I am!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:40, Reply)

because the trained monkeys turned the jobs down?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:28, Reply)

They all work in here

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:39, Reply)

or an
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:44, Reply)

I cannot deny this

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 11:47, Reply)