Right
After an internet-free month or so, I'm back. Cornwall was great fun but didn't work out in the end - mostly because the tourist season hasn't really got into gear yet. I'm back in Suffolk for a while, but I'll be returning to Cornwall sometime in the middle of August.

What's actually happened here?
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:07, 64 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Nothing to see.
Move along please.
( girlinthehole, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:16, Reply)

there have been lots of horrible Newbies
apparently.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:20, Reply)

Seriously? How ghastly.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:27, Reply)

^And that one is the worst of the lot.

( girlinthehole, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:38, Reply)

YEAH.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:43, Reply)

the noobs are all quenders and nonces.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:21, Reply)

quite agree
down with noobs
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:23, Reply)

up with boobs.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:24, Reply)

Evening Dozer
I've been to York today.

You really should clear up that pile of mutilated tramp and prostitute corpses outside your door - it lowers the tone of the neighbourhood.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:29, Reply)

I know, sorry.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:41, Reply)

Clearly your shite music keeps the rats away though.

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:55, Reply)

you massive quender.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:56, Reply)

Better a quender
Than a...than a...THAN A PLUMDOZER, you ridiculous Plumdozer.

(My heart just isn't in this, I'm afraid.)
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:05, Reply)

Is a quender
Like a bender, but queerer
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:24, Reply)

It's a portmanteau of queer and bender I believe.
Dozer - the biggest example of quendritude on the entire internet - has been trying to bring it into common parlance but has, to date, met with little success in this endeavour.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:29, Reply)

Quendritude
With the addition of "quandry" you can imply gender confusion.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:34, Reply)

Incidentally
I don't think I've heard your opinion on him - thumbs up or down?

(I'm asking you in your new position as taste arbiter, you understand)
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:36, Reply)

I'm rather keen.
His late 60s albums with his band Taste are superb - especially On The Boards and the live one at the Isle of Wight. A good guitarist.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:39, Reply)

The first one I heard
Was Irish tour '74 - the version of tattoo'd lady on there is one of my all time favourite bits of music.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:52, Reply)

Vipros used it once.
SO THERE.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:37, Reply)

I've just remembered
I was in Newquay when I saw a band called the smug jars, and instantly thought of him.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:38, Reply)

Have you woke up yet Monty since imbibing the alcohol?

( girlinthehole, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:37, Reply)

A touch.
It's either the two beers or the six packs of hulas, but something's sorted me out a little.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:40, Reply)

oh, and 'quender' is Spanish for bender.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:39, Reply)

Good to know.
Should I be in Spain and need one.
( girlinthehole, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:40, Reply)

'plumdozer' is English for bender.
By the way, old boy, we booked Monty's Bar for October 1st - it seemed appropriate and the function room looks pretty well-sized for what we need. They've their own turntables but I'm not certain about the mixer. There was a do going on in there, so couldn't really see.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:42, Reply)

I will gaz you when I get home, you terrible paella eater.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:45, Reply)

i dont know ive just got here

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:45, Reply)

And about time too.
*taps watch*
( girlinthehole, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:47, Reply)

im fucking off soon
i have to cook for people. people who've obviously never tasted my 'cooking'
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:49, Reply)

: /

( girlinthehole, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:51, Reply)

but I've only just got here
don't go
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:05, Reply)

ive got COOKING to do aint i

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:23, Reply)

put that shit in the oven rosalala
not much work = pants sitting/internetting time
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:25, Reply)

cunt ent turned up with the chikin yet
im hank marvin
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:31, Reply)

i thought everyone in england had chikins in their garden

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:35, Reply)

haha here we used to actually
we had all sorts in our garden at my mams. nah i live in a flat my girl, no chikins here
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:37, Reply)

dream ruiner

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:37, Reply)

some people have them
I saw a picture of a baby chick today, it had feet the size of a 20p
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:39, Reply)

i don't know how big that is!

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:43, Reply)

store.buttercupminiatures.co.uk/images/uploads/coinscomparison.jpg
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:45, Reply)

You do a good 'ordering takeout for next Tuesday night'

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:06, Reply)

haha
you cunt
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:23, Reply)

I thought we were going to need a Delorean

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:26, Reply)

if fucking sorted it tho didnt i
thats what i do man, i SORT things
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:30, Reply)

come sort my fucking office out then

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:35, Reply)

wats in it for me then
fuck all i should imagine
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:36, Reply)

i'll bake you a fucking cake
i'm well good at it
i have a recipe and everything
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:38, Reply)

did the one last night work?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:39, Reply)

yeah until my cunt dog decided to help herself to it

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:41, Reply)

i didn't know dogs liked cake

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:41, Reply)

she fucking loves to eat anything
except her sedation pills of course
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:43, Reply)

is she feeling better after her trauma?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:46, Reply)

yeah the cunt won't stop galloping around
when she's supposed to be having quiet time
dumb dog
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:58, Reply)

Dogs scoff anything
I left one of mine in the kitchen a few weeks ago for a few minutes and the bastard scoffed half a tub of margarine.

He was shitting bunting for a few days afterwards, mind.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:46, Reply)

bunting?
eugh
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:47, Reply)

It was like a very unpleasant magician
Turds strung together with yellow stuff.

He's also eaten raw potatoes.

His favourite food is horseshit.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:50, Reply)

dogs are not as cool as I thought
guinea pigs are better
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:52, Reply)

Guinea pigs leave controllable droppings
In pellet form, and that is commendable.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:57, Reply)

although they do kick sawdust and hay everywhere
I ran out of hoover bags and I expect the hay/sawdust mountain will reach my neck within a week.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:59, Reply)

i shall consider your offer

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:40, Reply)

i will also give you 3.5 sticks of strawberry banana gum and the extremely special, highly coveted recycled pen
everyone wants it but they can't have it
it could be yours!
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:42, Reply)

there were some dudes and some other dudes
and they did some stuff
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:06, Reply)

So things didn't go according to plan in Cornwall....
*sings*

Sorry Mat Jackson (oooh!) I'm not from Rhyl.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:07, Reply)