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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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RIGHT
b3ta.com/calendar/event/23658

COME ON YOU CUNTS.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:06, 134 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
It's no good Monters, they've all gone I think.
PS: '73? Pah! Whippersnappers.
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:14, Reply)
good luck with that
London is rubbish
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:19, Reply)
btw
I'm in disguise
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:33, Reply)
as what

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:40, Reply)
as something,
captain something
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:41, Reply)
do you have a pistol? Captain Something?

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:47, Reply)
I have a flintlock
does that help
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:47, Reply)
Evening Captain.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:52, Reply)
evening jeff

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:52, Reply)
Why have you gone into disguise this evening?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:53, Reply)
crunchy was too easy to find with coll3ctive and all
I'm working on a new username
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:54, Reply)
What about captain not very sensible?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:55, Reply)
I'll have you know
i am a very sensible grown up
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:58, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain_Sensible
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:01, Reply)
i remember captain sensible
...although mostly for Happy Talk since I was about 8 at the time
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:02, Reply)
I said "Captain!"
They said "What?"
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:59, Reply)
Hahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:59, Reply)
Can I be a smartarse? Can I? Can I?
I've met Captain Sensible quite a few times. Very good geezer - call him Ray.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:02, Reply)
You are Monty AICMFP

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:03, Reply)
I think he's about the only "music celeb" I know
Oh no - I've met Pete Waterman a couple of times too.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:07, Reply)
Unlucky mate.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:08, Reply)
He's a prizewinning cunt

(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:11, Reply)
Captain related incident.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:56, Reply)
oh I got bored of that form

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:58, Reply)
Thing is, I only called you Captain 'cos Captain Crunch had a nice ring to it.
Now, if you change your name I'll have to find a new nickname for you.

This could get very confusing.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:00, Reply)
i was captain crunchy for a while

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:04, Reply)
Now I'm EVEN more confused.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:05, Reply)
CAPTAIN MORGAN AND HIS JOLLY MATEYS
or something

how do you lot say "something"?
a lot of people here say "sumPthing" like there's a p in there, stupid people
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:01, Reply)
sum-thin

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:03, Reply)
I'm not so sure about your current user name
it just doesn't seem like you
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:04, Reply)
i never settle on good names

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:05, Reply)
Captain Brassiere and the Breast Touchers

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:07, Reply)
Haha!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:08, Reply)
I was thinking "Boob Grabbers" had a filthier ring to it
or "Breast Lovers"
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:09, Reply)
Nah! breast touchers sounds more pervy.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:12, Reply)
I may change my name to this
UNLESS CRUNCHY LIKES IT
this is definitely not a ploy to get her to pick it, oh no
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:14, Reply)
oh no...what have I done :(

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:31, Reply)
you've done nothing, I see

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:33, Reply)
pff!

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:10, Reply)
Captain Morgan and his Hammond Organ?
C'mon - someone must be able to find the Viz link...
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:10, Reply)
Sounds great! I'll be there!

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:20, Reply)
Sorry fella.
Can't make that. I can send Piston in my stead if you like.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:43, Reply)
I've signed up
Hoping I'll be able to make it - I'll be back to work the day after. I'm on holiday until then. :)
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:46, Reply)
I'll come along.
But only if there is cheese and pineapple.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:52, Reply)
*waves*
I'll bring the cheese and pineapple if it makes you sign up.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:54, Reply)
Will the cheese and pineapple be presented on a foil covered half grapefruit?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:56, Reply)
I'll hand carve the damn thing myself.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:56, Reply)
No need to go to too much trouble.
The bog standard 'hedgehog' design is fine.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:57, Reply)
I still feel poorly Jeff : (

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:59, Reply)
*there there*
What have you taken to make you feel better?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:00, Reply)
Just loads of cold and flu tablets.
I need to exercise but I'm just too weak.

I did self-medicate with a bottle of wine last night which was fine.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:02, Reply)
You need a monkey bath and a vindi.
That'll sort you out.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:04, Reply)
Monkey bath?
I'm having a veggy curry tomorrow.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:05, Reply)
Yeah. A monkey bath.
A bath that is so hot you can't get in it without making monkey noises.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:08, Reply)
Hahahahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:09, Reply)
It's like the old joke
Two monkeys in bath, one goes 'oooh! oooh! oooh!' the other says, 'Well, put some cold in'
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:11, Reply)
I told my nephew that joke and he loved it.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:12, Reply)
I've signed up
though nearer the time I might pull out if I still don't have a job
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:08, Reply)
Best way for a Catholic.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:09, Reply)
hahah!

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:10, Reply)
hahaha ew

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:27, Reply)
I'm going to get a curry this evening.
But I can't decide what to have.

Suggestions please.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:27, Reply)
curry

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:27, Reply)
Duh!
But what curry?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:28, Reply)
a nice one

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:30, Reply)
a nice one

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:31, Reply)
A right good one
That you'll enjoy.

I can't dictate your culinary requirements.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:29, Reply)
You and Captain should get a room.
What with your similar suggestions.

EDIT: And have a three-some with K.

(Evening TD)
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:31, Reply)
I changed my answer because captain's was funnier and I wanted to copy it
only proper curry i've had was Murg Doh-Peeazah
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:33, Reply)
Did you make a curry the other week? I remember posting you a link to some recipes.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:36, Reply)
no because my roommate does impromptu grilling sessions and invites loads of people over without telling me

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:38, Reply)
impromptu grilling eh...
This this when your roommate gets someone in for questioning?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:43, Reply)
it's where she holds people against their will and attaches diamonds and gold to their teeth

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:46, Reply)
Ok Captain, we're getting a room.
This will contain Guinea Pigs, 2 x Dogs,2 x Cats and us.

Can we get a PushmePullyou too?
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:37, Reply)
I don't see why not
as long as you havent just made one from two dudes sewn together
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:41, Reply)
I've always worried about the PushmePullyou
How does it shit?
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:44, Reply)
one half eats
the other half shits from its mouth. Like many people here
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:48, Reply)
That's fine then
Right - the room is booked in the South Wales Travel-Lodge

Visitors are - Captain, TD, Captain's Cavies, TD's dogs and cats, a PushmePullyou (emitting faeces from random ends) and whatever creatures we happen to collect on the way.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:54, Reply)
Did you pay the extra so you can cancel the room.
Or did the go for a cheaper price, but aware that if you have to cancel, you'll still be charged?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:55, Reply)
I got the special "unusual creatures" rate
By pretending I'd be bringing a Triceratops!

Stupid gits - the Triceratops can't fit in my car - that'll teach 'em!
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:59, Reply)
we could just dress up the Pterodactyl

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:00, Reply)
No
It's covering my driving jobs that weekend.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:05, Reply)
and the alleosaur is at the vets

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:07, Reply)
Moschops is busy
www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUqQCcTQ7HU
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:19, Reply)
that's one hell of a party!

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:59, Reply)
ooh! perhaps I should be Captain Cavies!

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:59, Reply)
It's good, it's alliterative
Do it.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:02, Reply)
plu s I will think of captian CAAAAAVEEEEMMMAAAAANNN
the whole time
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:06, Reply)
Zowie Cavey!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:07, Reply)
It takes a dull man
To know that Guinea Pigs are properly known as Cavies.

But I like Captain Cavy.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:15, Reply)
fuck you all
I'm watching this
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:32, Reply)
You should watch this K
tiny.cc/0gat2

It's set in East Anglia (the county that includes Norwich, where a certain telecommunications analyst lives) - it's really typical of all things English and not in the least bit twee.

I've linked the first episode for you, you'll have to Google the order of the rest of them.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:48, Reply)
Peter Falk is dead
Columbo! Dead!
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:33, Reply)
...and another thing

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:36, Reply)
Whodunnit?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:36, Reply)
Magnum PI, I reckon
Out of jealousy.

Maybe Jim Rockford. Or Quincy.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 19:43, Reply)
I'm in if that's cool.
I'll bring you a present too, as a sweetener like.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:15, Reply)
Evening Bob.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:18, Reply)
Alright dude, curried up?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:28, Reply)
Not yet.
I was busy watching the tennis, so dinner went on hold. I'll sort it out in a minute.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:31, Reply)
best make it massive drugs
like the size of a house or something
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:22, Reply)
I was thinking more alcOhol cause I'm the cunt who brings booze to a pub

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:28, Reply)
Oh boy I'll finally get to meet bobby

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:32, Reply)
you'll be snogging by closing time

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:39, Reply)
We can hug it out

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:45, Reply)
there's really nothing quite like an attractive man looking you straight in the eye and talking to you
*swoons*
i think i'm in luuuuuurrrrrrrrve
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:29, Reply)
oh yeah?
do tell
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:30, Reply)
my boss made me go get milkshakes
and this hottie hunk was working the drive thru
and my stars, did he dazzle me
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:31, Reply)
^ most pathetic

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:32, Reply)
his milkshake is bringing at least
one lady to the yard.

go back and get more milkshakes!
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:33, Reply)
He was all "do you have everything you need?" and I'm all "can you fit in this drink carrier?"
and he was all "You have a nice day" and I was all *drool*
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:34, Reply)
aww man
that's certainly something to fantasise about later
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:38, Reply)
he probably looks every person he talks to in the eye
gosh
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:40, Reply)
nah, he totally wanted to get in your pants

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:40, Reply)
One for your wank bank then.

(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:44, Reply)
he leaned so far out of the building I thought he was trying to get into my window

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 21:17, Reply)
Well there is if you're a straight male
Have you pulled, K?
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:30, Reply)
*blushes*
no
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:31, Reply)
Boy in the drive - thru
Now you jus' know he lives in the trailer out back, an' wears flamable trousers.

He ain't worth sheet to you.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:35, Reply)
it's "shee-it"
and this is a specialty place
not like McDonalds or summat
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:36, Reply)
OK
Trailer out back, for your polyester clad man?
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:39, Reply)
speciality drive-thru's?
America is crazy
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:39, Reply)
haha no no it's just a burger joint, it's expensive but it's all made right then while you wait
not like shit that's been cooking all day
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:40, Reply)
classy

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:44, Reply)
George Clooney wasn't talking directly to you Kristine, it's only a television programme

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:31, Reply)
Probably won't make this
as I'm London but a month later for the Sisters gig.

Also, it's on a Sunday you massive bender. What are you thinking of?
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:47, Reply)
Or the 'Bert Family Band'
To give them their full name.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:49, Reply)
Haha!

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:50, Reply)
Bring my, bring my my
Bring my big Sister to me
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 20:53, Reply)
And the curry was?
Don't keep us in suspense Jeff.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 21:15, Reply)
it was probably a good one

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 21:20, Reply)
I expect so.
Handing over to the late shift now because it's my bedtime.

Night. xx
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 21:24, Reply)
Just realised now it's on a Sunday.
What a disappointment. Might not be able to go now.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 21:21, Reply)
It's just for Londoners
no oiks from North of Watford Gap need apply. :(
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 21:29, Reply)

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