Staying in a hotel with the missus a few years ago.
Got out of bed for a cup of coffee.

"Housekeeping!"

I was naked, and slightly closer to the door than the bed. I bolted for it, but too late. The blonde, attractive Russian maid had a full frontal view of me, in mid-air, arm outstretched, yelling the time honoured classic of "Nooooooooo!" with morning bongle bouncing joyfully around in the fresh morning light.

She snorted with laughter and closed the door. Humiliated, with my ears ringing with the sound of the girlfriend's helpless laughter, I got back into bed and pulled the covers over my head.

That was check-out morning. As we left, the Russian was in the corridor. She looked at the girlfriend and smirked. I died inside.

And the final humiliation? We got home and she told my mum.
( Kroney, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:20, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

chernobyl fallout lolz

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:21, Reply)

would that make it monstrously small then?

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:22, Reply)

*whistles melody of 'Colonel Bogey's March'*

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Your own fault for not putting up the do not disturb sign.
I put that out whether I need to or not as a matter of course.
( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:23, Reply)

It was a lesson hard learned.

( Kroney, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:23, Reply)

Do you fuck
When you go to hotels you put the "please clean my room" sign on the door and spend the rest of the day bent naked over the bed with a tube of KY and several roadsigns pointing at your anus on prominent display.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:30, Reply)

No, she puts up the 'Do not disturb' sign
but strikethroughs the 'Do Not' and replaces it with 'Please'

Pegasuslols
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:39, Reply)

POTW

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:40, Reply)

*beams*

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:42, Reply)

*looks aghast*
I don't need to try that hard love.
( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:41, Reply)

Which is ironic
As the maid was probably the one who was most "disturbed" by the whole event
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:37, Reply)

Then she did this:


And they both collapsed in fits of laughter. Then when you got back from holiday your missus dumped you. Now you sleep rough in Richmond Park and eat deer poo in a desperate bid to stave off malnutrition.

And you're bent.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:24, Reply)

Have a click.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:25, Reply)

That is because the shadow of his cock looks like a very small swan

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:25, Reply)

Worst day of my life.

( Kroney, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:28, Reply)

At least you didn't have a semi melted turd on your chest

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:28, Reply)

Things can always be worse, I guess.
Small mercies, etc
( Kroney, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:29, Reply)

*psst*
It's Kroney. Semi melted turds are his bag, baby
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:29, Reply)

+colostomy

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:37, Reply)