'You know it's bad when....'
My brother stopped to tie up his bootlace once, and whilst he was doing so someone tossed him a coin, thinking he was a Homeless.

a) ahahahahahah
b) oh dear

Tell me about times when, just when you thought things couldn't get any worse, they did. Please note, I am looking for lighthearted comical yarns only here. I couldn't give a toss about the time three of your grandparents croaked in the space of a week- and they didn't find Grandma Joan for three weeks by which time she'd melted into the radiator. I don't give a shit. In fact, it's giving me a 'lazy lob on'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:49, 161 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

The answer is a

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:53, Reply)

I remember once, many years ago waking up with a monumental hangover.
The sort of hangover that was going to mean I was beyond doing anything but snoozing on the sofa all day.

Which is exactly where I was positioned, with a cup of tea on the floor near me. Feeling up to it, I thought 'I know, I'll have a smoke', reaching down to pick up a packet of tabs (but without moving my aching head) I managed to somehow drop the tabs into my brew.

Ruined one perfectly good cuppa and the only smokes I had in the house.

It gets no worse than that.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:55, Reply)

Smoking on a hangover mings

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:57, Reply)

No. YOU ming.
You ming to the highest MONG.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:58, Reply)

hahahaha

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:59, Reply)

I think that was taken from the 'Standard book of playground insults vol 4.'

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:59, Reply)

on a hangover

/ex-smoker anti-smoking nazi blog
( Kroney, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:58, Reply)

I don't get it when people say to me the day after a night out 'I don't get how you can smoke now' when I light up
The answer is I have a crippling addiction. Duh.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:01, Reply)

Took me three fucking weeks to clean that radiator you heartless cunt

( Peej, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:55, Reply)

The other night Himself and I went to a wedding reception
It was very nice but me false eyelashes kept unsticking themselves. Then I lost at giant Jenga and as a reward he got me an ice cream from the ice cream van they had and it was a 99.
I hate flakes with ice cream.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:59, Reply)

I hope it had enough 'Dragon's Blood' on it to make up for the inclusion on a flake.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:00, Reply)

Dragon's blood?
Its monkeys blood man
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:04, Reply)

It probably is for you, you live nearer Hartlepool than I do.
'Down South' it's Dragon's Blood.

You wouldn't get AIDS from a Dragon.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:04, Reply)

You might get heartburn though

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:05, Reply)

haha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:06, Reply)

I have no idea what you're talking about
I don't play WoW
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:04, Reply)

You might know Dragon's Blood as 'strawberry sauce'

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:05, Reply)

Ah! Now you're speaking English
And no. It was skanky chocolate sauce. The only saving grace was the smothering of sugar strands.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:06, Reply)

Well for future reference. Ask for Dragon' Blood.
Or, if you happen to be in Bristol and are in the process of buying an ice-cream, the correct way to request it is as follows.

'Ere, mate. Don't be shy with that Dragons Blood, mind'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:08, Reply)

Cheers drive!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:13, Reply)

Oooh, can i have the flake off your next one?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:04, Reply)

Yes you can
I love flakes but they shouldn't be ruined by ice cream.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:05, Reply)

99 flakes always taste stale

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:06, Reply)

flakey piss

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:06, Reply)

You need antibiotics to clear that.

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:08, Reply)

...but a bitch ain't one.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:08, Reply)

this isn't as good as you want it to be

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:09, Reply)

As you said to your wife in bed not 24 hours ago.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:14, Reply)

They are always a little stale in 99s
the last one i bought cost me 2 fucking quid!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:06, Reply)

*Sings*
Just one Cornetto,
Give it, to me.
You must be joking. They're 50p.*

*To think that 'back in the day' a fifty pence ice-cream was mocked.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:07, Reply)

Yes, you are correct
This was free as they'd hired the man with the van for the wedding (all under £200 too).
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:07, Reply)

bargin!
i may hire one, just for shits and giggles
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:09, Reply)

My thoughts exactly.
A quiet Sunday afternoon could become an ice cream fuelled orgy of Mr Whippy's delights.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:15, Reply)

*ears prick up*

( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:17, Reply)

*mini ape pricks up*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:19, Reply)

It wasn't near Sunderland by any chance was it?

(The Oscillating Gibbon is eating curried squid, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:09, Reply)

?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:11, Reply)

The wedding? No
Kent
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:16, Reply)

Cadbury's Flakes, I don't mind
When it's the ice cream man's dandruff, on the other hand...
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:14, Reply)

That's why they wear the fetching blue hair nets.

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:17, Reply)

So once I was walking down the Charing Cross Road in London,
it was about 7pm. I'd not shaved in a couple of days and I wasn't wearing smart clothes, but I'd like to think I still looked within the realms of society.

...I got offered marijuana no less than 6 times on that ~300 yard journey. The last guy, upon my decline, said
"Oh so you're more of a crack man are ya?"

WHAT THE FUCK

Come to think of it, I do look a bit like a druggie...
(The Oscillating Gibbon is eating curried squid, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:00, Reply)

Two days without shaving? I'm surprised they weren't trying to buy it off you.
The weed, that is. Not your beard. That would have been strange.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:33, Reply)

After a big night out I awoke with a massive crippling hangover
I crawled to the loo with one eye open and deposited my self on the toilet only to let out the most momumental stream of putrid curry and booze shit I have ever encounterd. i cleaned up and flushed whereby the loo promptly blocked.

Try as I might it wouldn't clear and so I took the difficult decision to reach in and clear the blockage manually, this would be a grim task at the best of times, however in my fragile state the smell, texture and feel of my own feaces was too much and I vommed into the loo and all over my arm, that was when my mate's sister walked in, oh yeah and i was naked.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:03, Reply)

phwoar!

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:06, Reply)

I like the way you make it sound like this is a rare occurence

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:06, Reply)

i once managed to vom on the ceiling

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:07, Reply)

oh what a feeeeeling ...

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:08, Reply)

Damn you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:13, Reply)

:D

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:16, Reply)

You are Linda Blair AICMFP

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:09, Reply)

You are Lionel Blair AICM apt dancing gaylord reference.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:14, Reply)

You've managed to crowbar two Lionels into one subthread
I can only assume you're on some kind of bet. If you mention Barrymore in the next few minutes I'll buy you a pony.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:19, Reply)

See below
Horse him up
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:27, Reply)

LIONEL Barrymore

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Its a wonderful....idea

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:37, Reply)

Played
It's not though, I can't afford a pony
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:41, Reply)

Were you licking the top of the window when that happened?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:10, Reply)

I had my hands over my mouth as I dashed for the bog
The resulting pressure build up meant the puke sprayed in a circular fashion onto the walls and ceiling...bad times
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:12, Reply)

Do you live in a doll's house?
Or are you 9' tall?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:14, Reply)

You wouldn't believe the pressure that had built up in my dash to the loo

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:15, Reply)

You're right. We don't believe you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:19, Reply)

This isn't /QOTW

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:24, Reply)

Unfortunately Lionel Ritchie was dancing up there at the time,
and his dove-grey blouson was RUINED.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:11, Reply)

Reminds me of the time when I was on holiday, smashed out of head obvs.
I pissed myself, thought I'd better go and clean myself up in the shower. I passed out with the shower running, fully clothed, and proceeded to do a poo in my pants. Great days.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:09, Reply)

Hahaha!
I hope it was at Paul's house
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:09, Reply)

hahahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:10, Reply)

hahaha!

( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:12, Reply)

I knew a bloke who pooed in the shower while SOBER
then pushed it down the plughole with his fingers.

He thought it was funny.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:25, Reply)

As do I.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:44, Reply)

I'll wager he is French.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Just so Darth buys Monty a pony
Barry - more anecdotes like this please
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:27, Reply)

Bonglicious

( Kroney, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:12, Reply)

Andre fucking Marriner

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:09, Reply)

It doesn't matter how many times you post this fantasy about your French friend bumming a sailor, no one cares.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:12, Reply)

Not bad
Have a click
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:13, Reply)

With comedy of this quality around
I can see why Jeff gets a hard time.
( Kroney, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:14, Reply)

I don't want a hard time from ANYTHING associated with Darth.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:17, Reply)

I still don't get this

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:14, Reply)

That is because you're a poof

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:19, Reply)

He is a "referee" from the popular sport of "football"
He is also not very good at it, especially when "reffing" Nottingham Forest matches, hence the use of "Fucking" from our esteemed colleague
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:20, Reply)

This is an excellent summary
Although Sporters fails to mention how obviously said "referee" was "on the take" and "hopelessly corrupt" in the last game of our season.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:22, Reply)

Not that Florest bottled it (again).

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:22, Reply)

Three things
1. You're right, we outplayed them in both games and didn't take our chances. However...

2. Three stonewall penalties turned down in two games isn't bad refereeing, it's bent refereeing. There's no way in the world he could have missed them all unless it was deliberate.

3. 5-3
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:25, Reply)

4: Amici wine bar.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:26, Reply)

You started it

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:27, Reply)

No I didn't.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:27, Reply)

Yes you did, you invaded Poland

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:34, Reply)

*Does silly walk*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Getting back on topic for a moment
When is it Forest are at Ashton Gate again?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:37, Reply)

Towards Christmas I think Darth
*Checks, 17th December*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Oh yeah
That's awkward.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:43, Reply)

Stonewall, eh? FFS

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:31, Reply)

hahahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:32, Reply)

football is for plebs

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:23, Reply)

Whereas vomming over your own arm as you try to rid a toilet of your mass effluence is for the aristocracy

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:26, Reply)

Indeed

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:27, Reply)

Thank god I'm not posh
Doesn't sound like much fun
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:36, Reply)

There is the long-winded story of the time I took my friend to hospital
thinking that, from the symptoms, he must have appendicitis. And the first doctor to examine him thought I was his girlfriend.

On the plus side, I was right: it was appendicitis, so it's just as well I took him to hospital. On the other hand, I left my good friend in the hands of a doctor who couldn't tell male from female.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:12, Reply)

This is incorrect
the doctor couldn't tell you from a female
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:15, Reply)

In fairness, he probably had that long floppy hair hiding his face.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:16, Reply)

face genitals
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:20, Reply)

Cock curtains

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:20, Reply)

In my defence, said friend probably has bigger moobs than me
Floppy-haired I may be, but I'm more flat-chested than Keira Knightley...
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Staying in a hotel with the missus a few years ago.
Got out of bed for a cup of coffee.

"Housekeeping!"

I was naked, and slightly closer to the door than the bed. I bolted for it, but too late. The blonde, attractive Russian maid had a full frontal view of me, in mid-air, arm outstretched, yelling the time honoured classic of "Nooooooooo!" with morning bongle bouncing joyfully around in the fresh morning light.

She snorted with laughter and closed the door. Humiliated, with my ears ringing with the sound of the girlfriend's helpless laughter, I got back into bed and pulled the covers over my head.

That was check-out morning. As we left, the Russian was in the corridor. She looked at the girlfriend and smirked. I died inside.

And the final humiliation? We got home and she told my mum.
( Kroney, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:20, Reply)

chernobyl fallout lolz

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:21, Reply)

would that make it monstrously small then?

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:22, Reply)

*whistles melody of 'Colonel Bogey's March'*

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Your own fault for not putting up the do not disturb sign.
I put that out whether I need to or not as a matter of course.
( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:23, Reply)

It was a lesson hard learned.

( Kroney, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:23, Reply)

Do you fuck
When you go to hotels you put the "please clean my room" sign on the door and spend the rest of the day bent naked over the bed with a tube of KY and several roadsigns pointing at your anus on prominent display.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:30, Reply)

No, she puts up the 'Do not disturb' sign
but strikethroughs the 'Do Not' and replaces it with 'Please'

Pegasuslols
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:39, Reply)

POTW

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:40, Reply)

*beams*

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:42, Reply)

*looks aghast*
I don't need to try that hard love.
( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:41, Reply)

Which is ironic
As the maid was probably the one who was most "disturbed" by the whole event
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:37, Reply)

Then she did this:


And they both collapsed in fits of laughter. Then when you got back from holiday your missus dumped you. Now you sleep rough in Richmond Park and eat deer poo in a desperate bid to stave off malnutrition.

And you're bent.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:24, Reply)

Have a click.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:25, Reply)

That is because the shadow of his cock looks like a very small swan

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:25, Reply)

Worst day of my life.

( Kroney, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:28, Reply)

At least you didn't have a semi melted turd on your chest

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:28, Reply)

Things can always be worse, I guess.
Small mercies, etc
( Kroney, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:29, Reply)

*psst*
It's Kroney. Semi melted turds are his bag, baby
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:29, Reply)

+colostomy

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:37, Reply)

Waking up in the middle of an operation was pretty bad...
but not as bad as sleep paralysis.

Sorry, that wasn't really the answer to the question, was it?

In other news, I'm only going to fucking do it!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:37, Reply)

Do what?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:38, Reply)

What?

( Kroney, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:38, Reply)

Throw myself off the top of a 200ft crane
with an elastic band round my ankles.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:39, Reply)

OMG!
You're a braver woman than me Gungadin.
( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:40, Reply)

It's for charidee, innit?
Also, there really is no reason to be scared. This will not stop me being more terrified than I have ever been in my life.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:42, Reply)

You have a lot of faith in your ankles
Personally I'd worry about executing the most fatal of faceplants and leaving a pair of disembodied feet tied to the elastic.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:46, Reply)

If it all goes wrong
and I plunge to a squishy death, I'm hardly going to know anything about it, am I?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:47, Reply)

No, not for very long, this is true.

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:50, Reply)

I have to raise at least £60 to be able to do it though
so I'll be coming after you all in due course.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:53, Reply)

*counts pennies*
Let me know when hon.
( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:54, Reply)

End of this month!
Sunday 31st, if anyone is in the area and wants to come and laugh.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:58, Reply)

I give you a fiver
if you do it topless.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:59, Reply)

I won't be wearing my glasses
is that good enough?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Only if you have breasts for eyes
I'm afraid. Which charity?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:01, Reply)

It's a SIDS one
which means a lot to me, as a very close friend of mine lost her daughter a couple of years ago.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:08, Reply)

sounds laudable
I'll chuck a fiver towards your impending splat if you furnish me with the relevant details.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:10, Reply)

You, Sir, are a gent
no matter what the others say.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:12, Reply)

yeah, well don't tell anyone
you'll ruin my reputation.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:14, Reply)

That'll sort your arthritis
right out.
( Kroney, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:40, Reply)

Going on the pier would be more exciting.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:43, Reply)

Ensure boob holsters are tightened!!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:49, Reply)

Believe me
there will be a sports bra involved. I don't want anything to detatch.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:53, Reply)

I think she's going to 'B&Q it', Jeff.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:39, Reply)

The disreputable harlot...

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Why do 'do it all' do it?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:43, Reply)

Do what?
What have I missed?
( Kroney, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:38, Reply)

I did this one
so much fun I can't tell you!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGjyEYAQf6s
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Is that you?
or just representative of the jump you did?

200ft is about a third of that height. And it will be over a pub car park, as far as I know.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:11, Reply)

that's not me, just a promo
the floor of the gondola was glass, which was freaky
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:17, Reply)

I have no regrets
I just looked up the website for one of the richest people in the world.
www.berkshirehathaway.com/
I wonder if he'll give me a few million to make it better.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:46, Reply)

You'd think he could afford a decent website with his millions.

( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:54, Reply)

Gave 'em all away innit?
morning Blousie.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:00, Reply)

Morning hon!
*waves*
( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Yes, it is still isn't it
not that I've got a damn thing done. Why won't my application load for me Blousie? you know everything. if it would just load it's look like I was working. *sad*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:16, Reply)

These things are here to test us.
MTFU : )
( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:17, Reply)

yeah, but I'm supposed to be testing it
which would be fairly simple if the damn thing would just damn well load. Grrr. *throws telly out of window*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:19, Reply)

telly out of window. toys out of pram.
( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:23, Reply)