Why would I trust your opinion? You're an ignorant adolescent.
I'm much older than you and much cleverer than you. If we're going to trust anybody then we should trust me. And I think we should fuck.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:04, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

I'm in the top 10% of British teens for academic achievement. I'd like to think this proves that I am indeed intelligent enough to make my mind up about this.
And come to a firm and final conclusion.
We Ain't doing a thing.
(888777555, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:06, Reply)

If you're not bright enough to understand how meaningless that is then you're thicker than I thought.
And that makes me horny. There's nothing quite as arousing as teenage delusion. I bet you think your lack of social skills makes you quirky and blame your lack of friends on being a swot. You fucking loser. Let's fuck really really hard.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:09, Reply)

I have loads of friends.
At least 100 at school who I talk to often
(888777555, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:10, Reply)

*clicks*

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:12, Reply)

You have 100 people who recognised your name enough to click "yes" on a social network.
Christ. You really are a desperate fucking dweeb. You can't imagine how hard my erection is now. A cat couldn't scratch it. An angry cat could climb up it and have a fucking knife fight with another angry cat and neither of the cunts could scratch it.

You know you want me. It's as close as you're going to get to affection in your sorry fucking teenage loser life. Let's go all the fucking way.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:14, Reply)

Real life friends.
As I'm not in the business of adding strangers on Facebook anymore (I had 597 friends and I cut it down to 160 a few weeks ago), Those are all people I know, talk to, and like in real life.
(888777555, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:16, Reply)

You're not going to back down, are you?
That's what really turns me on. You're practically old enough to join the army and yet you haven't developed the emotional maturity and self-confidence to back down even half an inch. It's a beautiful thing to behold.

Hop on board. It'll be like riding a rusty bone-shaker bicycle with no saddle.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:17, Reply)

You are Implying I'm some saddo loner nerd. I'm nothing of the sort.
I found B3TA whilst browsing sickipedia at the back of my RE class 2 years ago for jokes to tell my plethora of anticipative bored pals while listening to Miss drone on about Funeral rites.
(888777555, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:20, Reply)

Plethora. RE class. Pals. Miss.
Fucking hell, dude. I'm pretty much creaming myself here. If you don't grab hold of this badboy tooty sweety then you're going to have to give me half an hour to crank it back up again.

Tell me about the japes you get up to at play time. Do you cool kids say "japes" any more? I fucking bet you do, you dirty dirty bitch.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:22, Reply)

We generally don't bother with that any more, we just play Football.
Apart from snow days when we all take sides and build a trench and you know the rest.
(888777555, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:31, Reply)

You were taught by a Miss Drone....
I hope she married a Mr Aircraft and decided to go double-barrelled with her surname.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:23, Reply)

As a former teacher
I have to say how much I appreciate the idea of kids fucking about in the back of the lesson that I've spent time preparing, and am taking the effort to deliver.

What with teachers being in a classroom for the shits and giggles of it all, you know. Not like they're there top try to help you get on in life or anything.

And people wonder why I hate teenagers. Self-obsessed, opinionated, ungrateful, tedious cunts, the lot of 'em.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:30, Reply)

no, he's told us before
what teachers are doing is pandering to the naughty and poor kids and giving the extremely clever ones like him a hard time
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:32, Reply)

That's certainly what I used to do.
How about you, Cavy?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:37, Reply)

all the time
anyone looks like they're getting an A I ignore and throw out of the window
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:38, Reply)

I would imagine being at a university
you've eliminated all the povvos and troublemakers. Do you just ignore everybody?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:39, Reply)

not uni - there's plenty of povvos and chavs in FE
to lavish my attention on
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:44, Reply)

mr b3th studied photography at college back in the 60s or 70s.
I've seen his portfolio from back then. He's very good. He does amazing portraits.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:46, Reply)

and that was in the days when it
was hard
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:49, Reply)

Oh, yeah.
He totally knows how to do the manual settings, and the developing, and everything.

If I ever win the lottery, I'm going to buy him a proper Leica and a bunch of lenses.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:52, Reply)

I actually was a very well behaved pupil.
that RE was just my relaxation.
I still walked the GCSE though.
Checked through the booklet to make sure that I handn't missed a page.
I wasn't DISRUPTIVE, I just paid little attention.
(888777555, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:33, Reply)

I was a French and German teacher
and a lot of the kids on the sink estate where I worked had no use for either language. I'm sure they mostly thought my lessons were a waste of their valuable gossiping time.

No teacher likes to think his or her subject is irrelevant or unnecessary. While I understand that you may not have a burning interest in a core subject that you have no option to drop, it is incredibly rude not to give it your attention.

And just because you weren't throwing chairs around the room and calling the teacher a rancid bitch, that doesn't mean you were a good student.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:36, Reply)

Don't shoot me!
I liked French, did it as an option!
(888777555, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:39, Reply)

Okay. Now go back and re-read my last posts.
Do you think I was talking about MY subject specifically? Or might it have been a over-arcing comment about respect in all sujects?

A hundred years ago, only the nobility would have been educated past the age of ten. What you kids have now is bloody generous, and there really isn't a lot asked of you.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:42, Reply)

I know, I know.
That was just RE lessons, We were actually already aware of its content.
As I said, we weren't loud or disruptive.
Thing is, If I'd told you how much I loved school, etc etc, I'd have been called a teachers pet or swot, or worse by Bobby.
It's like I can't win.
(888777555, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:43, Reply)

oh have some balls
RE fucking sucks and every one with a brain, who lacks the balls to actually walk out, ignores it. just because she's older than you mum and has massive jubblies doesn't mean you need to suck up to her. If you're going to be a cunt, be an unrepentant one, not a spineless one.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:49, Reply)

it doesn't?

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:52, Reply)

Don't listen to them
Respect the Jubblies!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:53, Reply)

pedo

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:54, Reply)

look, it's fine for you and me
but a little pointless for him don't you think?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:54, Reply)

for him as a 16 year old boy
or as the more likely mid 20's to mid 30's troll he probably is?
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:59, Reply)

if he's a troll he's a good one
and i'll admit a grudging admiration for the detail and subtlety employed in mimicking a brightish (for a 16 year old) but still really quite ignorant 16 year old Tory.

But I was talking about is persona.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 23:04, Reply)

A moment of clarity in an otherwise cloudy time
"It's like I can't win."
Now is your time. Let loose the canons of logic, drop the bombs of superiority. Then go to fucking bed when your mum tells you.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:50, Reply)

i read 'Moment of Clarity'
at the same time Therapy? sung it
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:51, Reply)

As an actual Old
I saws Therapy question mark at Bradford uni and I thought they were a bit rubbish. I mean boring, possibly derivative.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:57, Reply)

I quite Likes Troublegum
the rest not so much, they seemed to change Musical genre with each album
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:58, Reply)

not very different
just Infernal Love which is almost comically depressing
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 23:01, Reply)

Nurse was OK, but a rather different style
I'd lost interest by infernal love, but then I am rather older than you.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 23:05, Reply)

ONE YEAR!!
you just have a shorter attention span
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 23:10, Reply)

One year
That I will relentlessly capitalise on young lady and don't you forget it.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 23:12, Reply)

well, I suppose it's nice to be young
for once
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 23:22, Reply)

oh man they are wicked
I saw them in Cardiff uni back in 1999 or something, they were fantastic.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 23:00, Reply)

I probably saw them a bit earlier than that
I'm estimating 95. I'm 43 now, so my memory is fading.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 23:19, Reply)

You will call me sir or get the fuck out of my classroom you utter helmet.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 23:02, Reply)

You tell 'im, Bobby.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 23:04, Reply)

must... have... the... last... word...

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:17, Reply)

So why didn't you say you have at least 159 friends then?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:18, Reply)

well, 50 ish of them I know and like, but I don't talk to them very often.

(888777555, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:21, Reply)

Oh you awful bully.
Surely you can sprinkle a bit of your immense wit in their direction.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:26, Reply)

STOP!!
for the love of god stop.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:21, Reply)

Not yet.
I want to get to the bit where I cum on the keyboard before I email it to his dad.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:23, Reply)

Shit. I hope he doesn't read this bit before I've finished my wank.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:24, Reply)

Can you e-mail a photo of your cock
resting on the post that finally made you blow your load to his dad?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:29, Reply)

Done.
I may have gone too far.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 23:01, Reply)

Congratulations on getting some answers right on some exams.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:12, Reply)

How rude!
He's in the tenth percentile. That means there are only ... what ... another hundred thousand teenagers in the country who are better than he is. He's practically unique.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:16, Reply)

Oh lol
I mean, really. These cunts are cutting you some right slack here, what with you being either an actual teenage tool or a grade A troll. I'm offering you some genuine words of internet advice here; don't ever use those words in that order ever again. I'm utterly certain, I mean to the point of staking the lives of everything I have ever loved on this, that Shambolic will tear you a new intellectual arsehole at will should you actually try and enter a battle of wits with him as you are so woefully unarmed in every way in this case. Sit down, sweetheart.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:21, Reply)

You've got to admire his hutzpah!

( girlinthehole, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:23, Reply)

I'm going to admire it.
I'm going to admire it real good.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:25, Reply)

Which end do you want?
If there's a good hard bumming afoot, I want in? Waitaminute! Is this Ryan Bury, chubby cunt, of Kendal? It smells like him.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:33, Reply)

He does have staying power.
I mean, every post makes him look more ridiculous, but you do have to admire the force of will to try safe some face in amongst all of this.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:28, Reply)

I'm admiring nothing
Unless he's got some pictures of his mum who is probably ten years younger than me, yet has a face that is worn with the burden of motherhood and its accompanying ultimate disappointments. I bet her cunt's like a knife fight in an abattoir.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:38, Reply)

He reminds me of a spectacularly gormless ex-user on another forum I post on.
This lad was driven to aggression and all-out war when the swear filter started changing his username to "cuddlebuttocks".

By "all-out war" I mean "attempting to flood the board while on dial-up, posting two new threads in ten minutes (helpfully called FLOOD THREAD 1 and FLOOD THREAD 2) and getting his posting privileges restricted".
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:59, Reply)

alright bogbrush
You're wasting your breath here.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:25, Reply)

Alright Woods...I mean gykhasdfashdhslkd
I'm not breathing on account of being right on the internet. Had any sexual encounters with people in train stations recently?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:31, Reply)

No, and definitely not in Mytholmroyd.
And there's no truth at all to the rumour I was wearing a rubber sex-doll mask all the way through the act.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:38, Reply)

Thank god for that
What with the vicar coming round for tea.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:42, Reply)