I'm going to try this
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1278209

so far, I know the ingredients
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:00, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Sounds good !
Add some garlic to that maronade, should be lush
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:02, Reply)

maronaide? interesting
I was just going to put all the things in a pan. Well it's all experiments I suppose
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:03, Reply)

This is what I would do with them.
- Get the rice on (half a mug of rice to a whole mug of water, lid on, boil for 15 minutes)
- Cut the steak into strips
- Get a plate and put a little bit of flour on it, sprinkle with salt and pepper, mix it up with your fingers.
- Run the steak strips through the flour
- Get some veg oil in a hot wok or frying pan (wok would be better), put it on as hot as you can (about 1/2 cm deep).
- Mix up some minced garlic, soy sauce, honey, chopped chili, olive oil... taste it, if it's alright, then great.
- Put the beef into the hot oil for about 5-7 minutes, stiring it around every minute so each side gets crispy.... about 3 minutes into it, add your chopped veg.
- Drain some of the oil down the sink (it's OK, it's not a lot of oil), so now you've only got enough oil to coat the pan.
- Pour the sauce all over beef'n'veg, mix it around, just for a minute so it thickens a bit and coats everything.
- Serve it on the rice and enjoy =)
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:11, Reply)

I know it looks like a lot of steps, but really it isn't, I just detailed it because you're knew to this sort of thing =)

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:11, Reply)

Honestly Gonz, if a recipe doesn't stop at 'pierce film lid', I really don't have the patience.
I'm a great baker, but a terrible cook.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:15, Reply)

Oh B3th, you _are_ worth cooking for.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:17, Reply)

How are you today?
no funny turns, I hope.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:21, Reply)

Quite horrific, felt like jumping under a bus in a scarily literal sense. A few days of anxiety/panic attacks has really taken it out of me.
Gonna go docs in the morning to see if I can get my hands on some chill-the-fuck-out pills. I need a break from everything, including being me. Might go away somewhere next week, Ma' has booked this hotel in Brighton with my uncle. I might look around and get some cheap b'n'b around the same area, or even the same hotel, I donno, it's not what I was looking forward too, but I'm sure it'll be alright, it'll be a break anyway.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:29, Reply)

Poor love.
Is there any one thing you can put your finger on? If there's one thing you can change, it might alleviate some of teh other stuff.
Having said that, if I don't take my chill-the-fuck-out pills, I get absolutely awful.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:31, Reply)

I can't think of anything that I want to change that I can change.
except taking this break so I don't burn out completely.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 19:02, Reply)

OK, cheers
it's kind of what I just started off doing. It's only me eating it so it doesn't matter if it fucks up
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:17, Reply)

Exactly ! Totally !
Don't be defeatest, but if it doesn't work out, you won't go hungry, we're not in ethiopia. And if you think "This is alright, but maybe next time could add some XYZ", then, you got a good base for a dish for next time =)
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:21, Reply)

lesson learnt so far:
over cleaner left on the hob smells quite strongly when you cook
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:26, Reply)

also: how narrow are the strips meant to be?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:27, Reply)

Ugh.
I scrubbed out the kitchen yesterday and spent the entire day breathing in bleach.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:27, Reply)

i poured oven cleaner on the hob
and moved it around a bit. It's like cleaning
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:28, Reply)

Would you like to hear a Top Tip?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:30, Reply)

always
especially if it makes my life easier
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:31, Reply)

I discovered last week
that if you have a load of greasy gunk stuck on the top of your ceramic hob (which you generally do if your other half fries everything he fucking eats) then a credit card or store card or something is really good for scraping it off.

I'm going to send it to a magazine and see if I can get some money for it.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:33, Reply)

I don't really have this problem
I'm not even sure if I have ceramic hobs.

you should definitely send it to one of those magazines, along with a picture of your dog in sunglasses
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 19:02, Reply)

In my weekly role as "trying to stop Gonz killing himself with food"
could I just add .. 1/2cm of oil? it's a fucking stir fry. You're not supposed to deep fry it. enough to stop the beef sticking. Tipping it away at the end ain't helping you, the food's already absorbed half of it.

otherwise, carry on. good work as always.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:19, Reply)

I was Hmming and Hurrring about how to describe the oil.
I think because it's coated in flour that it does need more than just pan-coating, and was thinking of a crispy crust. I guess it depends on the saucepan, I was htinking along the lines of a wok, where 1cm would be alright because it has a small base.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:23, Reply)

It's a lot more than I would use, even in a wok...

(berk, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:24, Reply)

You!
How do you feel about moving to Somerset?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:27, Reply)

I'd love to move back to Bristol, or around there
however I suspect tennis boy would love the idea less.
(berk, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:30, Reply)

I may have completely the wrong end of the stick about your area of expertise
but I've just seen an advert for a diagnostic laboratories biochemistry technician at Bristol University's veterinary teaching hospital.

This may or may not be completely useless to you...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:35, Reply)

I shall have a nosy at it, for sure
do you have a link, please?
(berk, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:36, Reply)

Anything for you, pretty lady :-)
http://www.langfordvets.co.uk/vacancies.htm
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:38, Reply)

Do-able, albeit a long way away...
so well done and thankyou for spotting it, I shall stick it on the List.
(berk, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:43, Reply)

Well, if it's a job you don't want
you're almost guaranteed to get an interview.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:46, Reply)

That is pretty much the way it's going at the minute, yes...

(berk, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:47, Reply)

come back to Bristol

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:40, Reply)

Hey you
you back home yet? At some point in the future, Blousie wants to come and meet up with me and Jeff and go on the pier at weston. You totally have to come too, if you're around.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:41, Reply)

Yeah back now :)
Can't believe I was fine all festival even when having a dodgy burger, then as soon as I get home I get a stomach bug that's going around.

I'd love to :) Weston isn't too far
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:47, Reply)

Hi Berk!
Happy Birthday!
( Bazongaloid, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:31, Reply)

Hi al!
thankyou!
(berk, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:32, Reply)

Did you have a nice day?

( Bazongaloid, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:33, Reply)

It was just like every other day, really
my birthday is not a big deal for me.
(berk, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:34, Reply)

Did TB not get you some nice fizzy wine and take you out to a steak restaurant?
and then have really unselfish sex with you in the alley behind the newsagents?
( Bazongaloid, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:36, Reply)

Nope
he was at work til 10pm so I cooked instead. I had really unselfish sex with him this morning as he fell asleep on the sofa last night before I had chance to leap on him.
He is taking me out to dinner on Friday.
(berk, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:38, Reply)

Fair enough.
That sounds reasonable.
( Bazongaloid, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:38, Reply)

Just as long as there is filthy sex at the end of it

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:46, Reply)

There had bloody well better be
I bought a new dress and everything.
(berk, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:46, Reply)

unless you've shoved half a pound of flour in with it
no you don't. you're using the flour and oil as the base for a stir-fry sauce and generally speaking, you need equal weights flour and fat for the roux. There's fat in the beef and a dusting of flour is going to be, what, an ounce at best? so really only a little oil.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:28, Reply)

^this
mr b3th refuses to use my spray oil. He just pours oil into everything. It makes my skin crawl watching him cook.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:29, Reply)

spray oil is hideous cock though
sorry and that. but it's emulsified and therefore well wrong.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:31, Reply)

You're much better off getting yourself some cheap supermarket own brand olive oil
and then getting your olive farmer to take it in for you.
( Bazongaloid, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:34, Reply)

No, you can get these aerators
you put your own oil in (good quality if you can afford it) then pump it up like a bicycle pump, and spray a fine mist of oil. Much healthier.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:36, Reply)