Question from a hopefully soon-to-be-ex biffer.
How much fat would a week long walk around the Isle of Wight shift?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:03, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Not much I wouldn't have thought.
Humans are pretty efficient at walking - you don't burn up much extra fuel until you get into a jog.

Sounds like a nice holiday though.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:05, Reply)

mile for mile you burn more walking than you do cycling
Cycling is bloody efficient.
( Peej, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:06, Reply)

Innit though?
Bicycles, right. Bicycles are fucking ace.

edit: depends on your speed and the incline though ... when they're hoofing it through the alpine legs of the Tour they eat an entire actual horse at the end of each day.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:09, Reply)

I mean efficient in as much as nearly all the energy put in to the pedals ends up at the back wheel
very little is wasted even if you are in a stupid gear spinning your feet at 300rpm
( Peej, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:14, Reply)

This is true. But I think there's something missing.
I've walked up and down relatively big hills with not much more than a bar of kendall mint cake in the middle and a pint at the end. If I tried that at any speed on a push-iron then I'd need a sack of bread and a blood transfusion.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:26, Reply)

You will get fit though.
Fit is almost as good as being thin.
( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:07, Reply)

You need to raise your heartbeat and keep it raised constantly for 20mins or more
or you will lose fuck all. My pal cycled from Hackney to Kensington and back every day (edit: Mon-Fri) for three years and was as fat at the end of it as he was when he started.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:08, Reply)

Ah.
Looks like the treadmill will be getting a pounding this evening then.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:09, Reply)

Do you not have a girlfriend?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:15, Reply)

Nope.
Oddly, I prefer it that way.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:16, Reply)

You sick fuck!

( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:17, Reply)

Well it's up to you if you want to have sex with gym equipment

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:18, Reply)

as we established in a previous thread
Bitches be crazy
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:18, Reply)

Precisely.
I have precious little time as it is, and I don't want my spare time taken up with some useless, needy whining shit.

If on the other hand any prospective partner has something to actually contribute (like helping me with coding), then fine.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:20, Reply)

VIRGIN 4 LIFE YO

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:21, Reply)

If that's your life path, fine.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:22, Reply)

HAHA GOOD COMEBACK FROM THE VIRGIN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:24, Reply)

Wow, form an orderly queue ladies.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:22, Reply)

Oh dear : (

( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:23, Reply)

You have no idea how needy my last girlfriend was.
I'd get one text, and if I didn't respond within thirty seconds, I'd get a torrent. It'd start with "You there?" to "Why aren't you responding?" Then "Are you annoyed with me?" to "Are we having problems?" to "Are you dumping me?". And then the phonecalls would start.

Things like that tend to annoy a bloke.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:26, Reply)

So your ideal partner, in combination with having a pulse needs to have coding skillz?
No wonder you're a fat virgin
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:27, Reply)

Ok, the coding skills is probably expecting a bit much.
Regular supplies of tea perhaps.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:29, Reply)

All girls aren't like this.
And if you get an older one, (not me), you might find you end up with a corker.
( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:28, Reply)

Their scripts are bloody brilliant, tramadol, zopiclone,donepezil, lorazepam, FUCK YEAH

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:32, Reply)

Fair play.
I just seem to be a bit of a nutter magnet is all. I should get myself a T-shirt declaring myself as such.

That aside though, relationships to me are about people complementing each other, each making the other better with their own native strengths, rather than... well you get the idea.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:35, Reply)

Girls love a waki t shirt, you should DEFFO do this.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 16:00, Reply)

The smell of gone off milk is strong on this one Biggers, he's not for you

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:26, Reply)

I very much agree with these sentiments.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:27, Reply)

BEN-DERRRRRRRRR

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:22, Reply)

Don't make me re-post my last long piece of writing.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:23, Reply)

Posting long-winded and detailed homosexual fantasy writing is perhaps not your best defence here.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:28, Reply)

You're probably right.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:29, Reply)

Jesting aside I was perfectly happy being single before I met Lusty.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:27, Reply)

And now your miserable?

( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:34, Reply)

Oh I've always been miserable - but I was not troubled by being single.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:44, Reply)

Did he stop at every greggs along the way?
Maybe he was just "genetically fat" or what ever excuse disgusting fatties are using these days.
( Peej, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:10, Reply)

Big-boned!
That's my excuse.
( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:13, Reply)

I'm using 'ropey thyroid'

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:13, Reply)

Thyroid problems perhaps?
When I was younger I could eat like a horse and not put on a pound, with a lifestyle very similar to the one I have now.

These days, if I so much as look at a chocolate bar I put on half a stone.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:14, Reply)

That's basically bollocks though.
If you had a genuine problem with your thyroid then you'd be on medication. The almost certain explanation is that you're eating more and moving less. Even if you're persuading yourself that you're not.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:23, Reply)

Metabolisms slow down as people age, that's all it is.

( Kroney, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:24, Reply)

^this
fucking hell, trying to shift weight after the age of 40 is a nightmare.
( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:26, Reply)

My mother has warned me about this.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:28, Reply)

HEED MY WARNING!

( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:30, Reply)

What does that even mean?
I'm type one diabetic so I've kept an OCD record of carbs and exercise and insulin for years. Your metabolism doesn't have a "speed" in any meaningful sense of the word, does it? That's just woolly pseudo-science.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:29, Reply)

Calorific requirements decreasing and whatnot.
Growth spurts finishing, things like that is what I'm on about.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:36, Reply)

Whereas this ^ doesn't

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:42, Reply)

You could always sell me a health product of dubious benefit.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:46, Reply)

I really could
And you'd waddle away pleased with yourself that you'd made some effort towards improvement.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:49, Reply)

Who has a growth spurt in their thirties or forties?
If you put on loads of muscle then you'll use more fuel. If you get sick then you typically burn more fuel. Other than that you're a pretty regular bit of machinery. Your MPG isn't changing. You're just a greedy slob.

Ummm ... no offence.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:43, Reply)

Last year I went to the gym 3 or 4 times a week and was careful with my eating.
Did fuck all, so I've gone back to drinking and less time at the gym. I'm fat but I have more fun.
( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:46, Reply)

Pretty sure the MPG changed.
Either way, I'm doing something about it now and I've gone from a 38 to a 36, which is progress. I hope to be back to 32 by the end of the year.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:47, Reply)

Good work that biffer!
/ac
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:48, Reply)

You'll be fucking lucky
I've gone from 38" to 35"ish and cannot fucking shift that next inch.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 16:11, Reply)

It's not so much to do with that,
but you're not growing anymore. My appetite's decreased a lot since I passed 25 because my body isn't working as hard at putting in growth spurts.

Yeah, there's a certain amount that's due to people physically not working as hard, people rarely continue to play sports quite so extensively as they age, muscles stop being as efficient etc. It all leads to a lower amount of calories being burned per day.

SO if you keep chucking fatty crap down your throat like you did when you were 18, you'll end up a fat mess.
( Kroney, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:59, Reply)

Fair enough.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 16:03, Reply)

See, this makes sense ^

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:42, Reply)

really?
then why are hyper and hypo active thyroids a thing? It's all about hormone production and pituitary glands and shit. Bodies are rubbish, they're always arsing around
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:52, Reply)

and cake

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:52, Reply)

yeah, well cake, too - that's mostly my reason for lardiness
but my metabolism plummeted a few years back, it wasn't just getting lardier, I felt like I had the worst flu ever, like when you can hardly move or think without a lot of effort. Having said that, when it was hyper I had a resting heartrate of 90, that was fucked up, too.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:55, Reply)

Sounds like CFS
Want to buy some supplements?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 16:02, Reply)

pff!
do they have a good science word attached?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 16:03, Reply)

I can repeat back whatever bollocks you have read on the internet about it
Then listen sympathetically to you droning on about your problems for a while. You'll probably buy them out of gratitude whether you believe they're going to work or not. You might not even finish taking them.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 16:07, Reply)

sounds good, but without a pretend science word
I ain't swallowing that shit
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 16:09, Reply)

If you have a broken thyroid then you will be on medication.
The animal hormone system is astonishingly well tuned. If you have a genuine hormonal problem (like diabetes) and have to manage it yourself then you will know how hard it is. The body does it all by magic for 99.99% of the population.

Sadly, a portion of those 99.99% are lazy slobs who can't take responsibility for their own weakness and blame their grotesqueness on imaginary ailments.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 16:01, Reply)

they don't medicate if your just a bit below
Mine is kept a little below (although I think it fluctuates), meaning I'm usually OK but I'm unlikely to get much thinner without a fuck load of effort (and I am lazy and like cake).
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:25, Reply)

Eating about the same, actually.
I ate some right shite at uni.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:26, Reply)

Get off your arse then.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:32, Reply)

I should totally have my own motivational TV show.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:35, Reply)

I walked 40 miles over 4 days with a full (and bloody heavy) rucksack
and lost just over half a stone. Mind you, I was fairly chunky at the time, didn't eat a great deal and seemed to spend most of those four days attempting to scale or descend vertical cliffs.
(berk, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:20, Reply)

The Isle of Wight is mostly chalk downland by the looks of it, so should be easy enough.
Bugger, I'll be just as fat as when I left.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:24, Reply)

As a Hampshire man I can confirm that The Isle of Wight truly is downs-land.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:29, Reply)

Ah.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:30, Reply)

Ah

MONGHUGZ!
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:36, Reply)

Bahwoon!!

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 15:38, Reply)