Rory has told me to start a new thread because cake is shit.
Who's willing to look at my CV then? Nevermind, you're all twats
alt: most awesome job in the world that you'd like to have?
I recently thought of how cool it would be to be a seashell collector.
I'm sure there are machines that do that, but I like thinking of a man walking across a beach and collecting them.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:35, 75 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Lunar porn ballerina.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:38, Reply)

Battenburg.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:38, Reply)

I totally would, but I'd be fuck all use to you.
Alt: sci fi actor. Or personal shopper.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:39, Reply)

you could just look at it and tell me if you think it looks awesome and if you'd hire me?

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:42, Reply)

I'd hire you anyway
But yeah, email it to me if you want. I can at least tell you if it's spelled right.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:44, Reply)

nevermind, you're biased.

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:45, Reply)

Now I mean this in the nicest possible way
but "personal shopper" is the shittest answer to this or any other question ever posed in the history of humanity.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:43, Reply)

Well, I love to shop
and the only way I would get paid for shopping is if I were a personal shopper.

And I'm terminally boring anyway. I thought everyone knew this.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:44, Reply)

Sorry. I make it a point not to remember who anybody is.
I've been here eight years and with the exception of the people I've met in OMG Real Life, you're all one tragic blur of ascii wittering.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:46, Reply)

8 years?
you're like some kind of grumpy grandfather on here
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:52, Reply)

Shambles and I are the Statler and Waldorf of b3ta.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:56, Reply)

you only outdo me by a month

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:57, Reply)

I out do you all by some distance.
*waves larger e-penis around*
( Kroney, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:58, Reply)

you must be so proud

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 17:00, Reply)

Post counts and member numbers mean nothing.

( Kroney, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 17:01, Reply)

it's all about how much of a grumpy cunt you are.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 17:02, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1298877
( Kroney, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 17:02, Reply)

yes
but I suspect you don't fit all of the criteria grumpy, old, and man
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 17:00, Reply)

Which is the pretty one?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:58, Reply)

Statler has the better facial hair, so that's you.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 17:00, Reply)

sci fi actor would be wicked
especially now girls are allowed good parts in them

better would be a job as Dr Who's assistant in real life (I refuse to belive it's completely fictional)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:44, Reply)

Why would anybody say anything that mean?
They'll be saying next that Father Christmas isn't real.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:52, Reply)

What B3th Said
and what I said the last time you did this thread.

Alt: Bicycle Repair Man.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:40, Reply)

Last time I asked for help with it, now I'm asking someone to just look at it.
ALRIGHT JERK.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:42, Reply)

just paste it in here then
we can all look.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:45, Reply)

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No!
It's BICYCLE REPAIR MAN!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:42, Reply)

Yay, Recognition

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:43, Reply)

I was brought up on a diet of Monty Python
and other 60s TV
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:51, Reply)

You could indulge your passion of pumping away at old bikes

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:42, Reply)

Tangledupinblue prefers to pound his treadmill

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:43, Reply)

That is not a nice way to refer to your mother Rory

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:46, Reply)

MY MOTHER HAS MORE CLASS THAN TO GO TO YOUR HYPOTHETICAL BIKE REPAIR SHOP, WOT WIF YOU BEINA LAZY CUNT IT AINT GONNA HAPPEN, BOO HOO'S SORRY TO BREAK YOU THE NEWS

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:48, Reply)

cake is NOT shit
hey hey! I can now tell my left from my right!

alt: I really like my job, but if I were any good I'd like to be a musician - either in a rock band or in an orchestra. Unfortunately is ain't gonna happen
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:41, Reply)

oooooo!
PIctures?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:42, Reply)

I'll take some once I take the cling film off

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:42, Reply)

I have never had a tattoo person put clingfilm on my tattoo

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:43, Reply)

It's to keep her fresh when they put her in teh fridge.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:46, Reply)

really
perhaps my arm is meat and it'll be all cooked
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:47, Reply)

everyone I know who has had a tattoo has had it wrapped

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:50, Reply)

it's quite usual over here
just for the first hour or two, I think just to keep it clean until you get home and wash it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:51, Reply)

three days they say now, leave it on all day after it's done, then wash, apply cream re wrap
then repeat three times a day for three days, I have never lasted more than one day .
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 17:03, Reply)

Mine said a couple of hours
then just keep it clean and put cream on it a lot

and don't get developer in it
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 17:04, Reply)

how did you get on?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 17:11, Reply)

depends, I was told max 2 hours and then leave it uncovered
Once you uncover it, I'd suggest putting it back on is not the best plan unless you have all sterile stuff.

It's just to stop a dry scab forming anyway and opinionn is still divided whether dry scabbing is better or worse for ink loss. Or so the guy told me on Friday, I can't claim to be any expert on this.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 17:05, Reply)

nor me, they just make it up as they go along.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 17:07, Reply)

the cling film stuff is solid
it's based upon medical burns treatment. but it's only going to work if it's sterile, which means the one the tattoist puts on is fine but if you recover yourself later that's a bit shaky.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 17:11, Reply)

But threads about which cake you want to fuck are.
You should start a LARP-rock band.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:42, Reply)

there were a bunch of guys who played orcs did that one time
called Black Vomit. They did a version of that song "I'm just a teenage half orc"
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:43, Reply)

Wow
This is the saddest thing I've ever heard. I mean it.

I mean, that's a real achievement. I'm actually impressed.
( Kroney, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:44, Reply)

seriously
I could probably beat that if I tried.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:45, Reply)

I am agog.

( Kroney, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:45, Reply)

...I am ghast, is Marius in love at last?
I have never seen him ooo and ahhhh"

thanks, now I have les miserable as an earworm
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:46, Reply)

No, she's Agog.
well on the weekends when she's an Orc, on the weekends when she's being a wizard she's Grenthir The Spooky.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:48, Reply)

A Gog is someone from North wales
I ain't one of them
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:49, Reply)

is Swansea in the south then?
/geographically illiterate
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:52, Reply)

yes
but I'm not from here. That's the important consideration
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:53, Reply)

Ah, originally a Northern Leek Fancier are you?
Well, there's lovely.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:54, Reply)

shut it, you creepy ponce
North Wales is just where you go on holiday when you are northern english
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:56, Reply)

*cries*

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 17:00, Reply)

such a southerner!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 17:01, Reply)

Horrible Welsh Tart.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 17:03, Reply)

I love that the North and South Welsh don't get on.
It's like Downs kids and cerebral palsy kids calling each other spastics.
( Kroney, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:52, Reply)

But the same applies to the English
and Londonders, and anywhere that has a north, because the north bit is always crapper I reckon.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:54, Reply)

that is very true

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:54, Reply)

only because you can't handle it

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:54, Reply)

What, The North?
I'll have you know I shall be departing tomorrow for my Tiny Bijou Holidayette and all of it except for next Tuesday will be spent in The North.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:56, Reply)

yeah, you're gonna have to toughen up, then
and remember, if you're in a pub don't order shandy
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:58, Reply)

I drink Brown Beer already
and I have packed a vest. I gather it's cold up there. I shall also take toilet paper and a supply of drinking water, anything else I'm missing?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 17:00, Reply)

things with batteries in
it still impresses up there.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 17:01, Reply)

Oh I have packed things with batteries in.
Edit: actually I quite like shandy, I shall make sure to order some just for a laugh.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 17:03, Reply)

pff!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 17:04, Reply)

Excuse me? I have no idea what you mean *whistles*
/ac
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 17:05, Reply)

I think you do...
I mean you're not going to go without your...phone are you?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 17:06, Reply)

Well, no, obviously.
it's not like they have phones up there, and I'll need spare batteries as I'me sure they do not have electricity or anything.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 17:08, Reply)

As it happens, I'm a professional CV editor.

( Kroney, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:43, Reply)

IM NOT A TWAT

(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:45, Reply)

Umm. You really are.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:46, Reply)

You're confusing me with a cake.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:49, Reply)

twat cake?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:50, Reply)

Tiramisu
Best of all the cakes.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:53, Reply)

Great
Now I want tiamisu, but I can't justify bothering going to the shops again
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:53, Reply)

I have a grand plan
to make tiramisu caramel cheesecake
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:55, Reply)

I thought that said camel cheesecake then.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:56, Reply)

i remember you talking about this plan before
1)why hasn't it happened yet?
2)when will you be bringing it to a bash within reaching distance of wales?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:57, Reply)

I'm going to make hippopotamus posidrive lasagne.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:57, Reply)

fucking bastard.
tea/TFT*

*yeah, yeah, it's an LCD but it doesn't sound as good. What you gonna do, call your mum?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:59, Reply)

cakes bent trifles
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:57, Reply)

I'd like to lose a bunch of weight and be a PsychoChomp double.
But I'd just follow him around everywhere and copy everything he does.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:47, Reply)

I want to work on Mythbusters.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 16:52, Reply)